What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)? - Page 3

wahya · 03-29-2013, 04:13 PM

No cheating, supportive, and love of animals.

DJ Bear · 03-29-2013, 05:00 PM

nonnegotiables for me:

We BOTH Communicate with each other.
No Lies by either of us.
She craves affection and I crave her.
Respect, goes both ways.
She loves surprises, getting flowers, little gifts.
She loves the holidays and enjoys decorating for them.
She wants a Butch/Daddy.
Lastly, she loves all animals especially my dog.

Duchess · 10-18-2012, 10:08 PM

~Sense of humor
~basically tidy
~No druggies

Duchess

FtMGuy · 02-28-2013, 07:15 PM

I like this thread!
will get back to it but I need to think about the top 3~

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

I think everyone should have at least a few things that they have to have (in a realtionship) to keep the home fires burning and have a little slice of joy in your lives together. I have a few and I know, my S.O. does also. But our have-to's are very different. I'm interested in what works for others. Please share your thoughts of what works and/or would work for you. Thanks

ps. will share mine a little later, i'm late for an appointment) but thinking about how these can change as we become older..

Queenie · 07-10-2013, 10:37 AM

One: Humor I like them funny.

Two: knowing who Dr Who is. If you arent a nerd then you aren't for me.

Three: Loving my crazy family. My family means the world to me. You have to understand this and be willing to hear be bitch about them a lot.

Four: You cannot be pro-life or be born again in a shape or form nor can you want Jeb Bush or any other Bush to be the next president. Oh that one is a big one for me. I like em nice and liberal!

Five: If you and I were to ever have a kid. You do not in any way feel its normal to spank our kid. I had an ex that found it to be alright. Yeah and thats one of the many reason why hy is an ex.

Six: Your ex is your ex. I DO NOT need to know every single bit about them. Yeah that one has also happened to me.

Siren's Song · 07-14-2013, 05:37 PM

1. Emotional integrity.
2. Devoted to the process of evolving as a human being.
3. Has backbone.
4. Adventurous/S.E.X.Y.

batennisboy · 07-14-2013, 10:37 PM

1. Integrity
2. Sense of humor
3. Kindness

puddin' · 07-15-2013, 01:17 AM

non-smoker
honest as da day is long
can make a crock pot chili to die fo'...

Miss Scarlett · 07-15-2013, 05:00 AM

Honesty

Fidelity

Trust

cinderella · 07-20-2013, 12:41 PM

Non-negotiables aka 'deal-breakers' for me would be a lot more then 3 things, but I'll try...
smoker

any substance abuse - this is a 'biggie'

lazy/unkempt/unambitious

And these are just starters. I would add that he would have to be very intelligent, witty/funny, a sense of fair play, honest, generous to a fault, and have an immense curiosity about life, and the world around us.

Oh, being an incurable romantic, a love for classic film and good music, would not hurt one bit!!

Katelar · 08-10-2013, 03:29 PM

1) Communication; talk to me, discuss, debate, let me know what you think and why. Make some of the choices and don't wait for me to do everything.

2) Something to get up for in the morning; whether that's a job, a vocation, education, anything. Just something that gives you a life away from 'us'.

3) Honesty; don't lie, i'll know. Without honesty there can be no trust.

and a cheeky fourth

4) Cuddles and 'Us' time is essential; Sex is a two way street but let me take charge

Gráinne · 08-10-2013, 04:55 PM

Back again:

1. Passion-not just of the obvious kind, but passion as a way of life, a passion for life. Includes having passions outside of the relationship.

2. The ability to be present in the moment with me, whatever is going on. You won't always "get" me, but really trying is important. I will reciprocate with you.

3. The ability to face your challenges and problems and see them as opportunities for real change. Even if they beat you down at first, the ability to come back stronger.

Chad · 08-10-2013, 05:54 PM

Always the same three for me;

!. No cheating

2. No lying

3. No stealing

Actually, I have more than three but maybe that is on another thread.

Lead by example.

Mari · 08-10-2013, 06:38 PM

1. Someone who knows and is true to who they are.

2. Someone of strong character and integrity.

3. Someone with a passion for every area of their life.

Koffeelvr · 08-10-2013, 07:07 PM

Must haves:

Integrity

Kindness

Wisdom

Followed close by a healthy sense of adventure

NorCalStud · 08-10-2013, 07:09 PM

emotional honesty
Likes to have a clean home
Communicates

Asari · 08-11-2013, 07:19 AM

1. A (nearly) similar view on spirituality, philosophy and ethics.
Indispensable attribute. Prevents major conflicts.

2. Healthy self-discipline.
There are no Problems, just challenges. Fear? Conquer it. Bored? Open your eyes for the miracles around you.

(If it's going to be a sexual relationship)
3. Attractiveness.
Female masculinity and a dominant aura is a good start. Or s/he is an anthropomorphic alien. *cough*

SleepyButch · 08-11-2013, 08:09 AM

Hmmmm....

Honesty

Affectionate

Must love dogs

Sweet Bliss · 08-11-2013, 08:51 AM

I don't share nicely, so NO open policy

I am not looking for pain = love, if you are keep walking away

I am the Domestic Goddess you always dreamed of having by your side ...
Not your slave, step up or get lost.

Okie dokie, there, some honest to gawd honesty.

It's Sunday morning, and yes, I'm putting it out there. Scorpio rising today. Feels fabulous.

DJ4321 · 04-12-2014, 08:07 AM

First, thanks for this thread. I've read most of the other posts and totally agree that 1)Honesty; 2) Integrity; 3) Fidelity
I would have to add Understanding (If you expect me to forgive your shortcomings, be prepared to forgive mine-we are afterall, both human); No drama--if I want drama, I'll watch it on television. I expect some drama from a femme (Ok, OK, now don't take offense at that, it's just been my experience is all), but let's sit down and talk like the two adults we claim to be and do it without drama; Loving, compassionate, able to accept all the love and tenderness I want to shower you with; My strength, my heart, my love is yours--take it but handle it with CARE.
OK, so I guess that's a few more than three, but they would be my deal breakers.

I'd like to point out that none of my deal breakers have anything to do with any physical characterstics or flaws. They are all nontangible---the things that really matter in life.

10-18-2012, 10:08 PM	#3
Duchess Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Absolute Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Toe curling :-) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 2,382 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,792 Thanked 5,592 Times in 1,521 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	In addition to the obvious things like honesty, loyalty, yummy affection, etc..... *~Sense of humor* *~basically tidy* *~No druggies* *Duchess* __________________ *無料のライブ*

07-10-2013, 10:37 AM	#5
Queenie Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: Her Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: East Finchley Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 478 Thanked 1,886 Times in 523 Posts Rep Power: 16307164	My three non-negotiables in a relationship! One: Humor I like them funny. Two: knowing who Dr Who is. If you arent a nerd then you aren't for me. Three: Loving my crazy family. My family means the world to me. You have to understand this and be willing to hear be bitch about them a lot. Four: You cannot be pro-life or be born again in a shape or form nor can you want Jeb Bush or any other Bush to be the next president. Oh that one is a big one for me. I like em nice and liberal! Five: If you and I were to ever have a kid. You do not in any way feel its normal to spank our kid. I had an ex that found it to be alright. Yeah and thats one of the many reason why hy is an ex. Six: Your ex is your ex. I DO NOT need to know every single bit about them. Yeah that one has also happened to me.

07-14-2013, 05:37 PM	#6
Siren's Song Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Deep at sea. Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 84 Thanked 168 Times in 62 Posts Rep Power: 1360612	3 plus one for me. 1. Emotional integrity. 2. Devoted to the process of evolving as a human being. 3. Has backbone. 4. Adventurous/S.E.X.Y. __________________ Life is the flower for which love is the honey.~Victor Hugo

07-15-2013, 01:17 AM	#8
puddin' Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: a genderqueer nuisance Preferred Pronoun?: bitchboi Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: new zealand Posts: 7,120 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,467 Thanked 7,962 Times in 2,340 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	non-smoker honest as da day is long can make a crock pot chili to die fo'... __________________ be true, be you, be brave.

07-20-2013, 12:41 PM	#10
cinderella Member How Do You Identify?: Pinky's mommy :) Preferred Pronoun?: Su Majestad Relationship Status: Happy with my puppy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Pocono Mtns., Pa. Posts: 1,238 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4 Thanked 1,501 Times in 638 Posts Rep Power: 14266108	Only 3??? Oh boy...this is going to be hard! Non-negotiables aka 'deal-breakers' for me would be a lot more then 3 things, but I'll try... smoker any substance abuse - this is a 'biggie' lazy/unkempt/unambitious And these are just starters. I would add that he would have to be very intelligent, witty/funny, a sense of fair play, honest, generous to a fault, and have an immense curiosity about life, and the world around us. Oh, being an incurable romantic, a love for classic film and good music, would not hurt one bit!! __________________ Who needs reality when you have Turner Classic Movies!! The is an organ of fire.

03-29-2013, 04:13 PM	#1
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	No cheating, supportive, and love of animals.

03-29-2013, 05:00 PM	#2
DJ Bear Member How Do You Identify?: Daddy, Papa, just Me Preferred Pronoun?: he, him, sir, bro, hey you Relationship Status: Married to library_girl Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Illinois with my baby girl Posts: 144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 404 Thanked 552 Times in 138 Posts Rep Power: 8324586	nonnegotiables for me: We BOTH Communicate with each other. No Lies by either of us. She craves affection and I crave her. Respect, goes both ways. She loves surprises, getting flowers, little gifts. She loves the holidays and enjoys decorating for them. She wants a Butch/Daddy. Lastly, she loves all animals especially my dog.

07-14-2013, 10:37 PM	#7
batennisboy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: In love with the fuzzy yellow objects of my affection. Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Bay Area, CA Posts: 82 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 284 Thanked 277 Times in 79 Posts Rep Power: 4135522	1. Integrity 2. Sense of humor 3. Kindness

07-15-2013, 05:00 AM	#9
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Honesty Fidelity Trust

08-10-2013, 03:29 PM	#11
Katelar Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer/Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Ball and Chain Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 28 Thanked 77 Times in 20 Posts Rep Power: 429509	1) Communication; talk to me, discuss, debate, let me know what you think and why. Make some of the choices and don't wait for me to do everything. 2) Something to get up for in the morning; whether that's a job, a vocation, education, anything. Just something that gives you a life away from 'us'. 3) Honesty; don't lie, i'll know. Without honesty there can be no trust. and a cheeky fourth 4) Cuddles and 'Us' time is essential; Sex is a two way street but let me take charge

08-10-2013, 04:55 PM	#12
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,115 Thanked 7,387 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Back again: 1. Passion-not just of the obvious kind, but passion as a way of life, a passion for life. Includes having passions outside of the relationship. 2. The ability to be present in the moment with me, whatever is going on. You won't always "get" me, but really trying is important. I will reciprocate with you. 3. The ability to face your challenges and problems and see them as opportunities for real change. Even if they beat you down at first, the ability to come back stronger. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

08-10-2013, 05:54 PM	#13
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,315 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Non-negotiable Always the same three for me; !. No cheating 2. No lying 3. No stealing Actually, I have more than three but maybe that is on another thread. Lead by example.

08-10-2013, 06:38 PM	#14
Mari Member How Do You Identify?: Femme with a twist of lime Preferred Pronoun?: Feminine ones Relationship Status: Creating a Life! Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: TX Posts: 114 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 207 Thanked 174 Times in 50 Posts Rep Power: 3118020	1. Someone who knows and is true to who they are. 2. Someone of strong character and integrity. 3. Someone with a passion for every area of their life.

08-10-2013, 07:07 PM	#15
Koffeelvr Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Washington DC Posts: 16 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14 Thanked 54 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 429510	Must haves: Integrity Kindness Wisdom Followed close by a healthy sense of adventure

08-10-2013, 07:09 PM	#16
NorCalStud Member How Do You Identify?: gaea's Daddy and Fiance Preferred Pronoun?: Ours Relationship Status: Engaged with gaea:-) Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Island Mountain Posts: 440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 1,465 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 18918588	must have emotional honesty Likes to have a clean home Communicates __________________ "Love the questions" ...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet Che

08-11-2013, 07:19 AM	#17
Asari Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: female ones Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Germany Posts: 146 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 563 Thanked 274 Times in 90 Posts Rep Power: 4780807	1. A (nearly) similar view on spirituality, philosophy and ethics. Indispensable attribute. Prevents major conflicts. 2. Healthy self-discipline. There are no Problems, just challenges. Fear? Conquer it. Bored? Open your eyes for the miracles around you. (If it's going to be a sexual relationship) 3. Attractiveness. Female masculinity and a dominant aura is a good start. Or s/he is an anthropomorphic alien. cough __________________ “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.” Mahatma Gandhi

08-11-2013, 08:09 AM	#18
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hmmmm.... Honesty Affectionate Must love dogs __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

08-11-2013, 08:51 AM	#19
Sweet Bliss Senior Member How Do You Identify?: I Am Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: the Beach, Pacific side Posts: 4,160 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,354 Thanked 7,268 Times in 2,159 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I don't share nicely, so NO open policy I am not looking for pain = love, if you are keep walking away I am the Domestic Goddess you always dreamed of having by your side ... Not your slave, step up or get lost. Okie dokie, there, some honest to gawd honesty. It's Sunday morning, and yes, I'm putting it out there. Scorpio rising today. Feels fabulous.

04-12-2014, 08:07 AM	#20
DJ4321 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Friendships Welcome Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21 Thanked 88 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 973265	First, thanks for this thread. I've read most of the other posts and totally agree that 1)Honesty; 2) Integrity; 3) Fidelity I would have to add Understanding (If you expect me to forgive your shortcomings, be prepared to forgive mine-we are afterall, both human); No drama--if I want drama, I'll watch it on television. I expect some drama from a femme (Ok, OK, now don't take offense at that, it's just been my experience is all), but let's sit down and talk like the two adults we claim to be and do it without drama; Loving, compassionate, able to accept all the love and tenderness I want to shower you with; My strength, my heart, my love is yours--take it but handle it with CARE. OK, so I guess that's a few more than three, but they would be my deal breakers. I'd like to point out that none of my deal breakers have anything to do with any physical characterstics or flaws. They are all nontangible---the things that really matter in life.