What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

Greyson · 12-20-2011, 02:54 PM

Integirty in word and action
Respect
Intelligence

I realize everyone is made of flesh and bone. There will be hurtful choices but keep it to a minimum and take responsibility when it does happen. The "Blame Game" requires no self reflection and is ultimately of no value to yourself or the relationship.

AtLast · 12-20-2011, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyson

Integirty in word and action
Respect
Intelligence

I realize everyone is made of flesh and bone. There will be hurtful choices but keep it to a minimum and take responsibility when it does happen. The "Blame Game" requires no self reflection and is ultimately of no value to yourself or the relationship.

You sum it up for me! I probably would add respect for sexual boundaries.

JustJo · 12-20-2011, 03:06 PM

Only three is tough...very tough...

Respect...self-respect, respect for me, respect for our relationship, respect for our family, respect for the needs and feelings of others. I think many of the things we list from honesty to work ethic to hygiene flow from this.

Kindness...to have the fundamental belief and practice that kindness, to self and others...whether loved ones or strangers...is worth striving for. To have a kind heart that treats me, my son, and themself with care and kindness...even when life gets difficult.

Passion...without that spark, we are friends...good friends, valued friends, dear friends...but not partners.

MsDemeanor · 12-21-2011, 12:55 AM

- Believes that pets should sleep in the bed with us
- Wicked smart sexy brain
- Enjoys pro football and baseball (hockey is fine, too), is okay about my not caring for basketball, and does not like the Yankees or any quarterback named Manning or Tebow.

mustangjeano · 12-21-2011, 01:55 AM

definitely all femme

Loves animals and is kind to all living things

is capable of owning her own stuff and has done at least some work on her issues.

ladyhawkxx · 12-21-2011, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mustangjeano

definitely all femme

Loves animals and is kind to all living things

is capable of owning her own stuff and has done at least some work on her issues.

WHAT?? What's this I'm reading....? Are you being totally reasonable here or what? This is incredible! A Butch with reasonable expectations for hys woman/femme! OMG - (walks directly into wall in front of me - SMAK!!) ((((((MUSTANGJEANO)))))) I think I just might love ya!!!! LH

scootebaby · 12-21-2011, 01:34 PM

took me awhile to figure out if i even had 3....some may say i have many others may agree on the ones i list....either way this is what I feel........

1....HONESTY!!! if you cant/dont/wont be honest about the small,mundane things because you dont want to deal/hear my reaction,then its a good indicator u really wont be honest about the big things....this in turns destroys everything else--trust,passion,openness!

2...if you dont understand the relationship/connection i have with my son,at least respect it...after all i have known him longer,i KNOW his negatives and positives.

and i had to struggle to find the 3rd one but....

3...dont talk out both sides of your mouth! dont say what u think i want to hear,dont try to impress me

Kätzchen · 12-21-2011, 02:29 PM

-be appreciative of wicked smart intelligence
-must love hunting

-sharing a love for all seasons

mustangjeano · 12-22-2011, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyhawkxx

WHAT?? What's this I'm reading....? Are you being totally reasonable here or what? This is incredible! A Butch with reasonable expectations for hys woman/femme! OMG - (walks directly into wall in front of me - SMAK!!) ((((((MUSTANGJEANO)))))) I think I just might love ya!!!! LH

There IS a Santa Clause, there IS a Santa Claus.!!! Thank you Dear Lady

kittygrrl · 12-24-2011, 05:09 PM

I think three (really wanted to say five) is healthy (with some things being givens) because the more "I have to have this" it takes the less open we are to what life has to offer..life isn't perfect and we aren't either, thats ok, in life there has to be sweet and bitter..but balance is what we are seeking..(imo)

Sassy · 12-21-2011, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsDemeanor

- ..and does not like the Yankees or any quarterback named Manning or Tebow.

I <3 heart <3 this

I live in Seminole country. I hate the name Tebow.

*laughs!*

ButchEire · 12-20-2011, 03:02 PM

If drinking (even socially), sports and online endeavors are an integral part of your life, it won't work.

If you expect me to either consistently analyze you or completely avoid doing so, you won't want to be around me. I'm a natural analytical mind but I don't whip out the couch for friends or family.

If you speak highly of your friends and/or family, but your actions don't match your words, there's a huge underlying problem that will only get worse and I won't be able to avoid pointing it out without losing my integrity.

Also: if you profess to "hate" anything or anyone, that won't work. Disliking, I get, but hating, as in "I HATE children," no. Perhaps you don't want kids and that's fine, but hating is a whole different ball game.

12-20-2011, 02:54 PM	#1
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,146 Times in 2,005 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Integirty in word and action Respect Intelligence I realize everyone is made of flesh and bone. There will be hurtful choices but keep it to a minimum and take responsibility when it does happen. The "Blame Game" requires no self reflection and is ultimately of no value to yourself or the relationship. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale

12-20-2011, 03:06 PM	#3
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Only three is tough...very tough... Respect...self-respect, respect for me, respect for our relationship, respect for our family, respect for the needs and feelings of others. I think many of the things we list from honesty to work ethic to hygiene flow from this. Kindness...to have the fundamental belief and practice that kindness, to self and others...whether loved ones or strangers...is worth striving for. To have a kind heart that treats me, my son, and themself with care and kindness...even when life gets difficult. Passion...without that spark, we are friends...good friends, valued friends, dear friends...but not partners. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

12-21-2011, 12:55 AM	#4
MsDemeanor Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme Relationship Status: Happily married to MisterMeanor, the man of my dreams Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 703 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 165 Thanked 1,852 Times in 511 Posts Rep Power: 2698180	- Believes that pets should sleep in the bed with us - Wicked smart sexy brain - Enjoys pro football and baseball (hockey is fine, too), is okay about my not caring for basketball, and does not like the Yankees or any quarterback named Manning or Tebow. __________________ artisan jewelry jewelry gallery

12-21-2011, 01:55 AM	#5
mustangjeano Member How Do You Identify?: old school stonebutch, Queer TG butch, ranch hand Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single, not looking Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ca. Posts: 1,088 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,459 Thanked 1,029 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 15314316	definitely all femme Loves animals and is kind to all living things is capable of owning her own stuff and has done at least some work on her issues. __________________ "Your outlook affects your outcome". John Paul Warren

12-21-2011, 01:34 PM	#7
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	DISCLAIMER--these are things i have ALWAYS demanded and are not directed at any one partner! took me awhile to figure out if i even had 3....some may say i have many others may agree on the ones i list....either way this is what I feel........ 1....HONESTY!!! if you cant/dont/wont be honest about the small,mundane things because you dont want to deal/hear my reaction,then its a good indicator u really wont be honest about the big things....this in turns destroys everything else--trust,passion,openness! 2...if you dont understand the relationship/connection i have with my son,at least respect it...after all i have known him longer,i KNOW his negatives and positives. and i had to struggle to find the 3rd one but.... 3...dont talk out both sides of your mouth! dont say what u think i want to hear,dont try to impress me

12-21-2011, 02:29 PM	#8
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: As a very feminine woman. Relationship Status: No thanks, I am not available. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Near smoke signals in the sky. Posts: 16,202 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,460 Thanked 33,609 Times in 10,706 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	-be appreciative of wicked smart intelligence -must love hunting -sharing a love for all seasons

12-24-2011, 05:09 PM	#10
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: gf Relationship Status: Uranus will retrograde in Gemini Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,701 Thanked 22,134 Times in 7,205 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I think three (really wanted to say five) is healthy (with some things being givens) because the more "I have to have this" it takes the less open we are to what life has to offer..life isn't perfect and we aren't either, thats ok, in life there has to be sweet and bitter..but balance is what we are seeking..(imo)

12-20-2011, 03:02 PM	#12
ButchEire Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanent ban 3/17/2013 - TROLL Relationship Status: Partner to my best friend Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: For now, Buffalo Posts: 701 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,618 Thanked 1,872 Times in 485 Posts Rep Power: 0	If drinking (even socially), sports and online endeavors are an integral part of your life, it won't work. If you expect me to either consistently analyze you or completely avoid doing so, you won't want to be around me. I'm a natural analytical mind but I don't whip out the couch for friends or family. If you speak highly of your friends and/or family, but your actions don't match your words, there's a huge underlying problem that will only get worse and I won't be able to avoid pointing it out without losing my integrity. Also: if you profess to "hate" anything or anyone, that won't work. Disliking, I get, but hating, as in "I HATE children," no. Perhaps you don't want kids and that's fine, but hating is a whole different ball game.