...~* Diary in Blue *~...

[Kätzchen]

Pulling up to the Iron Skillet, the truck stop that stayed open 24/7/365 off of the freeway that went up and down the corridor of the valley, CC and Dayle wandered into the restaurant to find a table. It was packed out for as early in the morning as it was. They didn't know if a table would be available, but spied three vacant bar stools by the circular counter near the front end of the restaurant. They headed over to take two of the chairs and picked up the menus, cradled by the salt and pepper shakers, in front of them. Browsing the menu for breakfast, the waitress came by with coffee and asked if they wanted some while they waited to place their order. They nodded.

“I'll take regular with cream and sugar,” said CC.

“Me too,” Dayle added.

The waitress filled their cups with coffee and told them she would be right back with cream and sugar; then take their order for breakfast.

It was a good thing that truck stop’s stayed open all the time: especially the ones where people could smoke in the bar counter area. While waiting for their waitress to bring the sugar and cream, CC lit an Al Capone, while deciding what to order for breakfast.

“I'm going to have the Early Breakfast special – the one with hash browns, eggs, any way you want them, and bacon, with Sour Dough toast on the side. What about you Dayle,” said CC, as Hy put the menu down and took a drag off the Capone and let the smoke drift as Hy mouthed O-ring’s.

“I think I am going to have Steak and Eggs with Biscuits and gravy. God, I am starved! I am glad we could stop here and talk for a bit while eating. CC - what is this thing that is going on out at the park, east of town, where she found those clues?” Dayle inquisitively asked.

“You know, Dayle, for as long as I have known her, she’s always had this strange sense of timing for getting herself smack in the middle of something that’s often not really about her at all! She stopped to rest at the park a few weeks ago, after a hectic day in town - something to do with terrible service with a cell phone company and while she was out there, she came upon a missing shoe. Well, if you know her well at all, she has this sixth sense about her; she always wants to follow the trail, if you know what I mean. One thing led to another and she found part of a dress, broken handcuffs, and marks left in a tree that looked like they were made by a sharp object. Then she took a picture of a piece of jewelry she found stuck in the bark. It seemed like antique jewelry, after hearing her describe it. She said that the type of jewelry that it was certainly was insightful about the owner, that they definitely had exquisite taste because she was positive that it cost and arm and leg to have that type of jewelry” CC recounted the information to Dayle, as Hy took one last hit off Hiz cigar, then crushed it out in the ash tray, on the counter of the bar.

Dayle sat on the bar stool making it half from side to side, as Hy listened to the story CC’s account. Thinking for a moment, then looking at the person approaching them, Dayle said – “Looks like we have company CC. Det. Frank Harris is coming this way.”

CC and Dayle both stood up and greeted the Detective as the waitress was finally coming with their condiments for coffee. “Are you guys ready to order yet,” the waitress asked? “Would you like some coffee Detective?” The Detective nodded and took a seat with Dayle and CC at the bar. The waitress poured the coffee for him and mentioned she would be back in just a bit, giving them more time to order since the Detective was looking at the menu now, too.

“I just learned from the Rescue Unit about the amazing recovery you both made on the mountain tonight,” Det. Harris remarked. “I wondered why I hadn't heard back from her today when I left a message on her cell. How is she doing CC?”

“I left her not long ago. She is heavily sedated and of course, she was hurt badly. She broke 4 ribs on her right side and one of the ribs punctured her lung. On top of it, she has a head injury that they stitched up, but the nurse say she will heal in time. They are going to keep her for a day or so until she is stabilized and then when she’s ready to be released, she is to call me and I will go pick her up and take her home,” CC debriefed to Harris.

Just then the waitress came back to take their orders. “Okay, can I get for you boys this morning and will you need separate ticket?”

CC , Dayle and Det. Harris looked at each other, and then Harris spoke first.

“I am picking up the tab this morning since these fine people did a heroic job of rescuing a nice lady this morning up on the mountain! I'll go first. I am having pancakes and eggs over easy, with coffee, of course, and orange juice.”

“Early Breakfast for me, Ma'am,” said CC.
“Steak and egg's over easy, Ma'am, and I will take some grapefruit juice too,” Dayle added.

“Nice order guys! I'll be back in about 15 to 20 minutes with your breakfast and will you holler when you want more coffee because it's busy this morning and I don't want to intrude on your conversation in progress,” the waitress said. “Thank you” they said in unison, while smiling at the waitress. The truck stop had the best breakfast in town and they were thankful for the waitress being sensitive to their privacy.

Harris took up the conversation once the waitress left. “I was going to talk with her about the jewelry she found implanted in the bark of the tree. We have a person working on that now, trying to discover where that particular piece of jewelry came from. But we haven't had any luck with area jewelers from the valley. Apparently this piece is quite rare,” he said.

After digesting Harris’ comment, Dayle took over. “You know, I might be of assistance to you. I have quite an extensive background in identifying artifacts of that particular nature. Would there be any chance of seeing what this piece looks like,” Dayle asked?

“Yes,”CC chimed in behind Dayle, “That makes total sense to me. I hope you can identify that piece of jewelry. I wonder if, by chance, we should also put some feelers out to the local gay and lesbian community in the valley. This could help us to find any information about the jewelry or possibly the victim, too.”

“That’s an excellent idea, CC and Dayle. This is why I stopped in the restaurant this morning on my way to the office: I saw your rig out in the parking lot” countered Harris. “It occurred to me late in the afternoon, the place where it happened and the fact that the park is frequented by members of that community, I thought that coming to you might help us get to the bottom of what transpired out there.”

Just then, the waitress came back with all three orders. “Here’s breakfast! Hot off the griddle,” she said with a smile. “Do any of you want a coffee refill?” she asked, as she finished delivering orders of food to their respective place of order. “Sure, Yes” they said in unison, cracking up with laughter because, once again, they had answered at the same time with the same words! All three of them dug into their food and with not a moment to spare, the waitress was back to fill their cups again, leaving more sugar and cream and their shared ticket for the food.

After breakfast and small talk, they all got up and began to make arrangements for the day.

“Dayle” Harris began, “If you have time right now, you can follow me down to the station and have a look at those pictures. How does that sound to you?” Harris said, as he left two twenties on the counter under the ticket which included a nice tip for the waitress.

“Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to the station we go” chuckled Dayle, as Hy nudged CC. “You coming, CC” Dayle inquired?

“No, I’m beat. I'm gonna go home and crash and then call you later today; to see what you find out about the jewelry. I should be up by noon. Give me a jingle on the cell. I'll be out in the work shop taking a look at Jezebel, assessing damages and making a list of things I’ll have to get to fix her back up. Okay, Dayle,” CC inquired?

“Sounds like a plan, 'Stan',” both the Detective and Dayle said, as they shared a chuckle together! They busted out laughing at the strange coincidence of saying things in unison at what seemed the weirdest times ever. Leaving for the day, CC went to Hiz ranch and Det. Harris and Dayle went to the station to check out the photos taken at the park.

(part 1)

[Kätzchen]

Heading off in the pre-dawn sunlight of the morning, they slowly formed a miniature caravan as they left the parking lot. Turning off the freeway to make the exchange for Hwy 66 to head home, CC wanted to go check on her one more time before Hy went all the way back out to the ranch. Instead of turning east, Hy turned right and headed west to the hospital. Driving down the road a bit and then turning to go up a huge hill to the hospital, Hy slowed down to turn into the lower level to the Parking Garage of the hospital. Getting out, and slamming the door shut, Hy made Hiz way to the elevator. Pressing the button for the 10th floor, the elevator ascended with no delays. “Bing,” the elevator doors opened. CC stepped out and looked toward the nursing station to see who was on duty. Hy didn't see anyone around, so Hy headed down the corridor to her private room. Quietly approaching her room, the door was ajar and CC could smell the flowers Hy ordered for her. Going into her room, there she was slightly raised in bed, gently sleeping, flowers placed everywhere in the room with the best ones on the table next to her with Blue Balloons and a satin banner strung around the bouquet that said Get Well Soon. That particular bouquet had three dozen roses and baby's breath and all sorts of exotic greenery in it. They did a wonderful job of choosing flowers for Hiz favorite girl. The rest of the plants were assorted Star Gazer lilies, Irises, Lilacs and Bird of Paradise in exotic vases. Hy knew she loved flowers and these were the best ones Hy had seen in quite some time. Quietly, Hy slipped over to her bed and moved the covers over some and sat down softly. Gazing at her brought wonderful feelings to Hym. Setting the leather gloves down on the table and moving the breakfast tray over - she began to stir at the soft nuances of noise being made next to her.


“Hey Handsome, where have you been?” she asked softly with sleepiness in her voice with her eye's still closed. She could always feel CC close to her no matter where they were in the universe.


“I just got back from breakfast with Dayle and Det. Harris, down at the Iron Skillet. I thought I would come by and check on you before I went home to sleep a bit and recover from last night. How you doing sweetie,” CC breathed softly to her…


Opening her eyes gently, so she could become adjusted to the light, she looked around and saw the huge bouquets of flowers before her eyes fell upon CC. “Oh my stars! Look at all the beautiful flowers here!” she softly remarked to CC. Trying to adjust her vision, she struggled to sit up better.


“Let me help you,” CC moved while attending to her. “Don't try to sit up too much just yet. Here, do it this way” said CC, helping her to get repositioned in bed. CC leaned over and kissed her gently on the nose, then on the cheek, then stopped for a short kiss on her lips.


“Mmmmmm, have I told you lately how much I adore you CC?” she said, as soon as CC ‘z lips released Hiz kiss from her lips.


CC snuggled the covers up around her and tucked then around her tightly. “I want you to drift back to sleep. I wanted you to have something to keep you company here in the room and to remind you of how much I miss you when you aren't around to pester me and make my life simply wonderful with your entertaining whimsical ways, my dear one.” CC gently leaned over and kissed her again. “Now I am going to tell you this only once and I don't want any guff from your Femme Princess Highness” CC gently razzed her. “Stay in bed. Do what you are supposed to do for the nurse and Doctor and when I come again to see you, I want to find that you were a good girl. I will have a treat for you, okay? Will you promise to mind me this time?” CC asked with Hiz comical goofy grin that said Hy was flirting with her again.

* sigh*


“Butches: can't live without them and you cannot disappoint them. Yes, Dear. I will stay right here with your gifts of loveliness and patiently wait for your return” she said with softness in her voice that told CC she would comply with Hiz wishes.


Not that she wouldn't, but because she already felt so badly that she had gotten herself into such jam and as usual, her knight in shining armor was once again right there by her side. She totally adored CC. But what irked her the most, as it might with any other femme like her, was that the spring dance was coming up and she wanted to go and dance the night away with CC and all her friends in the valley. With broken ribs now and a nasty cut on her forehead, she had no idea if she would mend up fast enough, but she was certain that it didn't really matter. For after all, having a sweet and sincere butch like CC in her life was the most exquisite luxury of all.


“Good girl, now give me a kiss and I shall be off and go home now” as CC bent over to get a final kiss from her sweet lips. Meeting her more than half way to receive the kiss, Hiz eye's smoldered with lust for her and with all that was left of Hiz energy, CC drank up the energy of their kiss and sealed it with a signature mark that Hy saved only for her. Hy gently bit her bottom lip and asserting Hiz Dominance in a final display of authority, set her monitors off again!


Nuzzling her closely and waiting for the head nurse to come charging in, CC lay on top of her and drank in every smell of her scent before the nurse entered the room.


“I should have known” said the nurse, as she started to giggle! “You love birds! How long have you both been married?" the nurse inquired, as she reset her monitors. Not wanting to leave, CC eventually rose from her wounded body and picked up Hiz gloves and got ready to leave. Winking at her then looking toward the nurse, CC explained with pride:


“You would think forever - for as long as we have known each other. But soon we shall have that very conversation, soon” CC's voice directed loving intonations toward the object of Hiz affection who lied in bed gently smiling that knowing smile.


“Ok, off with you Mister, Mister. She needs to rest now,” the nurse took over with authority, as she began to playfully shoo CC away from her room. But before Hy left, CC pointed to Hiz eyes slowly, then touched Hiz heart, then slowly pointed at her with a stern look that meant business. She broke out in giggles which hurt her ribs to the high heavens and smiled the sweetest smile at CC as her devil-licious to voice gave CC exactly what brought sheer delight to Hiz ears: *Y e s, Sir*




Dearest Diary,

A new term has begun and already, the terrific work loads begin. You are such a faithful companion to my heart.
I don’t know what I would do without you my sweet, sweet diary.
Until another day in Paradise,
I’m keeping the faith,
I will be loving and kind,
I will shine like a star:
Don’t worry, be happy
For there is no better way to live,
Than in the moment of now:
Right here
Right now

[Kätzchen]

The nurse was in her room checking off items on her list for release when she asked the nurse to give all the flowers away to children up on the cancer ward in the hospital.

“Will you take all these and give them to the sweet children upstairs, except the Bird of Paradise and stargazer Lillies?” she asked sweetly. Nodding, the nurse called for an aide to come take the flowers and helped her get dressed to leave.

“Now,” the nurse inquired, “Shall I call your contact so they can come for you or will you be calling for a taxi to take you home today?”

“Will you please call CC and see if it fits Hiz schedule to come get me; otherwise if CC is busy, I will call a taxi,” she replied to the nurse.

“Okay, I'll be back in a little bit and let you know what comes next,” replied the nurse.

While she was gathering up her items, she looked out the hospital window and noticed the wonderful weather outside, noticing the gentle breeze blowing through the trees. It seemed like she took forever to get back up and going again, with all the injuries she suffered. The broken ribs had healed some, yet she was achy and sore. Mainly, all she could think of was getting back home and checking on her plants and picking up all the newspapers and pay some bills, since her ordinary daily life activities fell behind schedule.

But while waiting for the nurse to return with news as to whether CC was going to pick her up or not, Dayle walked into the room while she was wandering in thought as she was looking out the window.

“Knock, knock, Miz Lady of the Morning!” chimed Dayle with a smiling lilt to Hys voice. “How have you been lately? CC sent me over to pick you up this morning.”

Turning from the window she smiled knowingly at Dayle and replied, “CC sent you, did Hy? How wonderful that Hy thought of that. If the nurse comes back soon, I am free to go” she remarked in wonderment as to why CC wasn't there Hymself. She wondered what was going on with CC lately. But it didn't matter at the moment because she was relieved that at least she had a way home with someone she knew, rather than having to call a taxi. Just then the nurse came in and said it was strange how she just got off the phone with CC and Dayle was already there to pick her up!
“My, my,” said the nurse. “It doesn't take long to get the ball rolling around here, does it? You are free to go and if you have any symptoms of pain or dizziness, just call your regular physician because we have forwarded all your hospital notes to him. But we are pretty sure you will be fine from here on out. You should schedule a checkup in a month to make sure everything has healed up properly, okay? Just sign these papers and off you go,” said the nurse with a smile.

So, she signed the papers and looked at Dayle as if to signal that she was ready to go. “I'm glad you are here to take me home Dayle,” she said, her voice curiously laced with tone.

“I am parked out front, so let's take the elevator and be on our way,” Dayle said with marked reservation and off they went.

~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

The drive home was slow and full of explorative conversation with Dayle. She didn't know whether to be alarmed or annoyed with Dayle, but something was grating her nerves concerning their dialogue and she couldn't put a finger on it. She didn't feel like giving too much information as she really didn't know Dayle; nor could she figure out, for the life of her, why CC had asked Dayle to take her home. Something was entirely odd about the whole thing. For one, before she had the accident and before the notion of her pictures missing on the clip of the digital camera and missing the return phone call from the detective, she found it a little strange that Dayle had found hyr way to CC'z property that day when she rode Sweet Pea to find CC on the Green Springs property. Although it appeared that Dayle and CC were enjoying each others new found company while fishing at the creek, she wondered why CC had done as Hy did and what the real content of the current conversation was before she discovered them by the creek. For some reason she felt that something was amiss about Dayle. Successfully dodging Dayle’s innocuous questions that seemed simple, she knew all too well the hinting of what was behind the questions. She wasn't going to reveal what she knew or what she supposed had happened that day at the park – the bits and pieces of a puzzle that were left behind at the scene. To her, there was a dark motive behind the veiled inquisition and she wasn't about to give anything up. When CC got the time to come by from wherever Hy was at or doing, she was going to have a nice chat with CC about this perplexing situation that was making her very uncomfortable.

“Okay” Dayle said, as Hy pulled into her driveway with long overgrown lawn grass and countless papers piled on the front patio and a note attached to her front door.

With the truck in park and the motor still running Dayle got out and opened her door. Then Dayle retrieved her flowers from the back seat and handed them to her.

“Will you need me to stay” asked Dayle loftily?

“No, you can go and thank you for bringing me home today” she mused quietly to Dayle. And with that, Dayle got back in Hys truck and left.

Watching Dayle leave and then turning to the front patio with all the papers and the note, she wandered lazily as she shuffled all the papers together in her arms and read the note. It was from CC: “I know I was supposed to be there today but you will see me tonight and you will just have to trust me when I tell you that I think I have some answers for you about the park. I also want to talk to you about other things too... Until then, I am yours faithfully, CC” – as was scribbled in Hiz famous haiku, prose-like, penmanship.

Unlocking the front door, and putting all the papers in the wooden antique bin by the sofa for reading materials, she laid the house keys down, turned to shut the front door and locked it. Mulling for a moment in the front living room and adjusting the drapes to let the soft afternoon light in for the day, she turned to go out to the kitchen to open the patio doors to let in some fresh air and take in the view of the property. After scanning the premises for any new developments, she wandered out to sit on her favorite chaise lounge chair and on the table beside the chair, there it was: a small and tiny envelope with her name on it and something bulging from within; a piece of paper with a smudgy mark on the back. Carefully, she walked back into the kitchen and took out a pair of silicone gloves she had when she didn't want to touch unwashed meats for cooking. Carefully she put them on and wandered back out to the note on the table. Picking up the tiny envelope, she opened it to reveal a part of the necklace that matched the earring found at the park. The message on the note read: “It's a part of me and I need your help to find me.”

She breathed in and exhaled a long orchestrated breath that indicated only one thing that came to her mind: Trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~


Dearest Diary,

It’s been a long three months and I still feel numb since my brothers’ death. My mother isn't the easiest to deal with and I cannot help but feel cheated that the one and only loving family member I had is gone *** (See Footnote below). Yes, I feel deeply angry and longingly sad for my brother Mike. But it doesn't ease the pain I feel, the untimely moment in life that whisked away my brother to another world that heaven only knows about.

I am so deeply humbled by events in my life: only three more terms to go before I graduate with my Bachelors of Science; then there is grad school and heaven only knows where that will be. My dear friends here at home who have held my hand during the loss of my brother Mike; my wonderful friend who is so dear to me and changes that are looming ahead for me and my youngest son Eddie. I worry at times for Lee my eldest son who is serving in the war and cannot be found and summer plans that threaten to overwhelm me – the ever evolving change that I am adapting too on the spur of the moment.

If it's one thing I have learned over time is that the best laid plans don't always come out like they were planned. Help me, dearest diary, to remember not to plan. There is only so much a person can control, so help me in my hours this day to just be in the moment and not fast forward to anything, please.

And just so you know, I have not forgotten to ask my favorite pressing questions of the hour:

Why? Where? When? How?

* I know! So many questions and yet too few answers*

Only you, dearest diary, know the answer to this but heaven help me to be free - to just float it back to the universe for the answers I need.

As always,
your patient adorer and loving writer



*** (footnote): I learned, later in the fall of 2006, that my mother suffered another break from reality (similar to the one when she and my father’s marriage imploded) when my brother Mike was diagnosed with, what was then thought of as a rare form of, AIDS. My mother’s highly skilled nose for nursing issues, around Mikes’ diagnosis, tipped the scale in finding out about the closeted life my brother led. My youngest brother now lives with my elderly mother to this day because even though she functions expertly in her role as a nurse, other unsolved mysteries in our family (taboo subjects) threaten her mental health and personal well being. Mike and I co-share responsibility in caring for our mother as she ages rapidly due to cancer metastasizing in her body (December 2011, revision of diary entry).

[Kätzchen]

Coming to a full stop, with all the dust trailing from behind on the old rutted road to the barn on CC’z property up on the Green Springs past Mt. Grizzly, Dayle sat and watched for signs of where to go next. Hy saw the note posted on the livery door and went to go read it. CC had left directions to find the spot for their secret meeting on the property. Being careful, not to leave it behind as CC had instructed, Dayle went into the stalls and found Sweet Pea ready to ride. Sweet Pea let out a whinny and reared a bit in the stall. “It’s okay,” soothed Dayle to the horse. “Let’s go find CC, okay?” After mounting the horse, Dayle nudged her to take off in the general direction of the place to meet.

It was not too difficult to manage the terrain, Dayle day dreamed thoughtfully. After leading Sweet Pea down the path that descended into a deep ravine that lead to a quiet stream at the bottom, it wasn’t long until Hy spied CC under the cascading water falls. Dismounting and leading the horse along the narrow path toward the opulent expanse of water lying beneath the falls, Dayle gently tied the reins of the horse to a broken limb of a fallen log by the water.

“Was it easy to find, Dayle?” quizzed CC with a smile.

“It sure was! Do you think we are going to be found out, meeting like this so mysteriously?” Dayle answered, as hy thought this plan of CC’z was a bit hair brained even if hy didn’t know the whole story, but would learn of shortly.

“Yes! Well, No, to the part of meeting, but yes to the part where she will find out!” laughing with the thought that Hy knew she would love a good treasure hunt!

“I left that envelope on her patio, just like you asked me to before I brought her home today” said Dayle, informing CC.

“Good! It won’t be long now until she makes that call to the detective, and I have already given him the next step of this masterful plan for the proposal of her life time!” CC smiled that one smile Hy always smiled when Hy knew he had outfoxed her again. He loved the game of hide and seek because CC orchestrated the false crime scene, at her favorite place to go unwind. Hy knew Hy had her hook, line and sinker!

Dayle burst out with utter laugher at the complexity of CC’z hair-brained scheme to propose marriage to her. After all these years of being her best friend, confidante and playful puppy of a guy; and occasionally treating her to a date or escorting her to some function that made Hiz brain go on overdrive with lustful thoughts of her, during the most boring of lectures, CC found Hymself going into a reverie about the final moment when she would be presented with the most magical moment of their life: Proposing marriage to his one and only in the world at the Black and White Ball: the most anticipated social event on the lesbian calendar in the valley.

“So how did you come up with the plan to propose to her, CC?” asked Dayle, while lighting a cigarette as Hy leaned against the rock wall behind the water falls.

“I’m glad you asked because you need to know how crucial it is, that everything fell into place this time. Last year, a fire broke out on the property and I couldn’t take her to the ball like we had planned to do. Instead, she came out here to help me oversee advisors to the fire crew and that was the time I had originally planned to propose. It has to be on this night that I ask her – because the first moment either of us shared about how we wanted it to happen, if it were to ever happen for the two of us, was at the first Black and White Ball we ever went to together. That night was the night I knew it would be her that I would marry and we’d live our lives together. We had shared such an incredible day at the park. We walked the paths together, skipped rocks into the stream; most of the time I followed her down the path and watched her walk and talk about the things she knew about: like the trees and the plants we were walking by. We finally sat upon a huge boulder by the edge of the stream and talked about things we both wanted in a relationship - if that should ever happen for us. At first, I was taken back by her candidness of things she thought about, needed, wanted or desired. I guess I never known someone to be so real – it blows my mind every time I think about it. I knew things for me were different with her and that if I wanted to be a permanent fixture in her life, I had to be true to me and true to her – and to remember the foreboding feelings of the moment that I realized just how important she would become in my life” as CC began to fish for Hiz smokes, wanting to enjoy a smoky pleasure while talking to Dayle.

“You know, CC, the first time I ever met her I knew she was different. You can’t help but get that feeling when you encounter such a woman as her” Dayle agreed with CC, as he exhaled from Hys last drag off the cigarette. “She is so bright and animated, innocent yet mature; talented, quick to be helpful and it doesn’t hurt when you hear her make a comical remark with that humor of hers. I remember that day I was in her line at the grocery store and there you were on the opposite side of her and I thought for sure, we would have been found out then; but I have to hand it to you CC, you do know her really well” as Dayle mused with laughter. “I’m especially proud to help a brother out – so we can see how it goes down the night of your proposal.”

“Dayle” CC said as hy inhaled from the cigarette, “do you know how hard it has been to keep this little secret? We, her and I, share about everything under the sun. I’ve given her little hints over the months, but then something in life will happen, like her going off the edge of the mountain or her mom will show up unannounced or something screwy happens on her job and she has to work more than usual or something comes up with her college schedule that reeks havoc on the little plans we set aside for our “we” time, since we live apart from each other. I mean, we might as well live together, but I know she wants her independence and not lose her space. And well, I have this ranch and I am not about to give it up. So finding the right moment to create an unusual memory for us has been the hardest task of my clever life ever and it’s just so darn important we keep dropping clues until the dance next week.”

Just then CC’z pager went off and Dayle’s too, for that matter. It was Detective Harris looking for both of them. It was urgent. Just as CC had predicted, she called the Detective and now, time was of the essence.

Looking at each other, they put their cigarettes out and mounted their horses for the ride back to the barn.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Dearest Diary,

Sometimes it is good to be still and listen to the gentleness of the wind or listen to the surf of the unbridled ocean, which is just as wonderful when I ride my bike while I daydream as I pedal furiously up an Ashland hillside or while coasting down a hill, swooshing in lazy S’s while I steer my bike crookedly for fun or while I entertain beautiful memories of family life or the challenges of living alone or the delightful friends who grace my life beautifully or the water I might have left steaming on the stove. Hurrying to fix a temporary problem is only a part of the solution, but finding a lasting, mutual decision is sometimes a fruitful and increasingly complex process. The things I value dearly in life are: Feelings of being liked and loved; feeling free to be me and all that I am. Being independent, yet co-sharing interdependence or the gift of allowing acceptance on every level imaginable and sharing a mutual respect with those whom I value most in life. And of course, the elements of kindness and caring or tolerance or endurance or strength and vulnerability or trust, and the ability to focus on the present moment and last, but not least, the ability to live honestly. I give myself permission on a daily basis to relieve life’s pressures by revising the aptitude of my attitude - so I am able to grow, even if it’s only on a moments notice. It’s true that the simplest things in life bring the most pleasure. Help me to remember and cherish the good, bad and ugly that life often gifts to me. Dearest Diary, thank you for being you and for the safety you provide me as I continue to grow.

[Kätzchen]

After the morning was cleared from her daily duties, she went for a drive to her favorite park in the woods. She let her mind wander upon the content of the conversation she had with the Detective, earlier that day, but she worried what the real ‘investigation’ was leading to. The curves of the road felt familiar: each turn of the road on the drive was made with lazy delight; for she was driving CC’z cherry bomb of a Corvette. It seemed strange that she hadn’t seen, nor heard from CC that day because it added toward her anxiety about what CC was up to. But nevertheless, she agonized over the impending decision that the detective was yet to make. With each turn she made while driving, it bothered her more that nothing seemed to make sense. Just as she made the familiar bend in the road that led to the entrance of the park, she slowed down and purposely took her time entering the enclosed area for parking. It didn’t look like anyone had been around in quite awhile. And the tape that marked the scene was gone. Parking the car, she turned off the ignition and just sat in the quietness of the moment. It was wonderful to drive CC’z convertible because she loved how the sunshine embraced her as she drove. More than that, she loved the smell of the forest and the gentle wind that would waft through the canyon that led to the park. In the distance, she could hear the creek and birds that chirped in the woods. A woodpecker was busy nearby and she loved to hear the hollowness of the tree that the bird was busy pecking on! She got out of the car and lazily took in the beauty of the park.

Following the tiny trail down to the area where she first found that piece of jewelry embanked in the trunk of a tree, she wandered further – taking in the smells of the forest, the music of the water from the creek that called her to come closer.

It seemed like a whole day had passed that afternoon. She was further on this trail than she had ever wandered before. Up and down the trail, like a gentle gazelle she traveled, letting the forest speak to her on terms that only redwoods could do. The quietness lured her further until she finally found a peaceful part of the creek with a huge boulder to sit on in the shade of the late afternoon.

Kicking her shoes off and letting her jacket pad the hardness of the huge stone rock, she laid her purse and keys down then stretched out to let her mind wander again. It was a really hot afternoon: so hot, that she decided to take off her clothes and strip down to her panties and bra and let the sunshine glow upon her body. She loved to tan and what a perfect place to do it. No one at all around to disturb her privacy except thoughts of deeper desires that seemed to become magnified by the complete and utter beauty of the water, trees and birds that lived in this place.

It had been long time since someone had been in her life. There was much she longed for; deeper desires of intimacy that she craved, but only her to tend to them when her body cried out for loving and deserving attention. Her mind seemed to not be content to just lie there and be drenched in the sun. She wanted more and for that to happen, she gave attention to herself. If there was anyone she wanted to be physical with – to have sexual intimacy with – it was CC. But for some reason it never ever went there and this frustrated her to no end. How could CC not know how deeply she craved this part of intimacy in their relationship? She didn’t know or have the answers, but today she felt the timing to take care of her needs – even if CC was a 2x4 specimen of a darling butch.

Becoming even braver by the moment, she shed all of her clothes and dived into the still waters of the pool that was clear and inviting. She didn’t want to swim among the fishes but thankfully there appeared to be none in the water! The water felt so relaxing and very cold. So cold, that her nipples were cresting to attention – making her body become aware of an unsatisfied need for release. When she couldn’t bear the coldness of the water anymore, she swam to the huge boulder and lifted herself up onto the hotness of the stone and let her body become warm again from the refreshment of her dip in the water.

Beads of water were shedding their presence from her body; raining down onto her jacket that padded her bottom where she sat before she took a notion to dive into the pool. Spreading the jacket underneath her, and using her clothes as a pillow for her head, she laid in the sunshine and let herself drift off into a deep reverie of being tamed by the butch of her dreams.

As she laid on the rock, she touched her breasts and caressed her nipples and fondly paid attention to them as they were directly linked to her darker, and more mysterious, sexual desires. Breathing with her eyes closed and letting her hands delicately touch all the places on her body that made her clit swell with engorgement, her deeper desires came to life. Her hand slipped into her garden and stroked her curly hair, for her cunt was creaming with undeniable desire. Stroking her clit as she envisioned being sucked and licked, her hand milked her left breast. As her right hand gently stroked the lips of her cunt, brushing past her clit she dove deep into the flaming heat of her vagina’s velvet: breathing deeply and moaning with unreleased pent up desire she plunged deeper, more deeply than before and felt the pulse of her pent up energy. Wanting more, her clit called back to her: ‘come back to me’ it said. But just then a twig snapped nearby and as her eyes opened wide, she saw CC standing above her with dark, smoldering eyes that told her more than what she ever thought of CC before.

Without missing a beat, CC dropped to Hiz knees on the boulder while shedding Hiz shirt and with one swift motion, Hiz lips were all over her. Then taking her and holding her strongly, CC kissed her so deeply that she nearly was consumed by the shared passion of the moment that left her breathless – causing a deeper moan to escape between them. Lying on top of her, CC dove into her mouth, over and over again. Hiz tongue transformed them into a drunken blissful state. As CC parted her legs away from the attention her hand had been giving to her cunt, she let her hand come up to touch his face as Hy kissed her with the irresistible emotion of Hiz pent up desires.

Hiz body rocked upon hers and as Hiz hand took her hand away from her breast, CC resumed the pleasure of rolling her nipples to erotic levels of desire as Hy massaged and milked her for every drop her breasts would give to Hym. Letting go of their deep kiss and moans escaping both of them, CC planted Hiz warm mouth on her breasts… while helping Hymself to what they both desired and wanted, CC felt the creaminess of her cunt, causing a deeper groan to escape from Hiz presence. CC plunged Hiz fingers deeply into her garden. Hy could feel her orgasm building, the pulsing of her energy as Hy ground into the ribbed vagina, Hy made her wetter. CC stopped momentarily and peered into the deep blue pools of her eyes and then whispered in her ear: “I want you … I’m ready for you, I want you to feel me…” as Hy led her hand to Hiz bulging crotch – Hiz package wanted to plunge deeply into her. Breathing heavily and still rocking to the pent up energy that set them both on fire, her eyes met CC’z and motioned with one knowing look that Hy had permission to feed her desires and take all the time they needed to passionately release what had been stored between them, for what seemed to be ages.

She reached down to unzip CC’z Levi’s – revealing Hiz engorged member. She felt CC’z need for the lone act that could only quench their desires. Rolling into her, CC once again drank from her mouth as Hy penetrated her with Hiz tongue while Hiz hands explored her pulse, the wetness of her cunt, her pent up desire to be impregnated with Hiz energy - cazillions of CC’z sperm imploding her universe.

“Will you let me enter you?” CC breathed heavily into her ears.

*yessssss* she moaned…

And with that, CC spread her legs even wider and mounted her with fervor. The weight of Hiz body felt good upon her while she adjusted to Hiz penetration - the way Hiz energy rippled though her body. Just the mere thought that they were finally doing what they longed deeply to do with each other, added fuel to the fire. CC took her by the hair and pulled her head into the position Hy wanted her to be in as Hy consumed her mouth in yet another kiss, asserting Hiz strength and passion while Hiz deep physical need communicated the way Hy craved her with intention. While kissing her deeply, Hy picked up her leg and began fucking her deeply with solid thrusts of emotion. Hy pumped Hiz love into her over and over again: Stroking her ass while Hy kissed her passionately with deep hunger; wanting to devour her body and soul…her everything! Moaning from the sheer pleasure of CC fucking her brains out, she reached around Hiz neck and stroked his muscular shoulders and drew her nails down Hiz back. Each time CC went wickedly deeper into the labyrinth of her body, her nails matched the strength of Hiz need.

“I want you from behind,” were the words that trailed from Hiz frantic breathing. And matching Hiz desire, she looked at Hym with smoldering eyes that told Hym to release her and let her roll over to assume the position. Never missing or parting from touching each other’s body, Hy spooned her and let Hiz arms surround her as Hy massaged her breasts while Hiz swollen member craved the tightness of her ass. All the while, CC rubbed her clit using all the creaminess that her cunt had produced. Hy sucked fervently on the back of her neck, communicating Hiz desire to fuck her from behind. CC parted her ass and slid Hiz cock into her as she gasped for air as Hy rent the veil of her universe. Hy stroked her clit as Hy strove to plunge deeper into her with all Hiz strength. Each time Hy pushed into her, she felt the darkness of Hiz ardent desires – The reason why Hy wanted her.

She began to feel her clit begin to do that one particular dance of motion; causing her to let a deeper moan escape from her soul…moaning so deeply with utter pleasure she sensed Hy was abut to come. “May I go there?” CC whispered raggedly as Hy pummeled her garden to new heights of joy. Closing her eyes, she said “yes;” and as soon her ‘yes’ escaped from her mouth, Hy slid hys hands, saturated by her creaminess and smeared it all over his cock and then plunged deeply with the force of an exploding bomb into her: Causing her to scream out Hiz name!!! Hy kept pumping her with Hiz desire until she screamed that she was going to come! And when she did, Hy pulled out of her ass, ripped off his package, rolled her over and shoved Hys fingers up her cunt so that Hy could fill her with Hiz hand. And as she began to explode like a shooting star in the heavens, Hy dove onto her clit and brought her orgasm! Her legs were quivering as her body bucked against the stronghold of Hiz mouth on her clit: wave after wave, moan after moan, their coarse and raspy breathing filled the air and as she finally caved into CC, she collapsed into CC’z arms that held her tight – releasing every drop of cum that Hy plied from her, CC gently and lavishly lapped up all that she gave to Hym.

Spent from release of their orgasm, CC kissed Hiz way up her tummy to her rock hard nipples: “Baby, you’re mine…” “mmmhummm, yes, I am,” she lovingly stroked CC’z head full of hair as she nuzzled closer to CC.

They collapsed into each other on the rock, that hot and sunny afternoon by the creek with the quiet pool of water. Cradled in each other’s arms, they fell into slumber as the sound of rushing water carried them into blissful wonder.

~~~~~~~~~

It’s Sunday afternoon, my favorite day of the week: sometimes it’s a day of rest and at other times, I want it to be a day of heated desire.

*Dearest Diary*

Even though you never really answer any of my questions, its okay
because I don’t have any answers either.

Until another day,
I’m Yours, Faithfully.

[Kätzchen]

Dearest Diary,

Today shouldn't be any more different than the rest of my days - but somehow it is. Sometimes just the days of doing nothing is where I find the most time to let my head wander from thinking too much. But I wrote a poem for you today... I’m leaving it here upon your lovely pages and whatever you do, Dearest Diary, let it be this, just for today:

Hold my thoughts and emotions as sacred, yet not divine; for all my tomorrows are just that: a Tomorrow. But this is today and while I have no questions for you today, just know that I still patiently await your answers.
*haha or not so haha!*

Until another day in paradise,
I’m Yours, faithfully.

Come closer to my heart

Come closer to my heart
And feel sounds that long to take you
Through all the hollows: a labyrinth of sorrow.
The sorrow of my life
Has long been dimmed by walls of fear
The still, deep and cool blue waters of my being
Welcome the clatter of the babbling brook: Your presence.
Sounds that pulse through my being
Are shaped by good and bad:
Mostly, conveying sharper images ~
Yours: for proper consumption.
I will listen to the sound of your streaming brook:
Echo’s coming from corridors
Being sought methodically by your deep hunger
Release trinkets of treasured wisdom
Spun of the finest microfibre: a llamas’ woolen fur
Meant to keep me warm inside.
And for those days that I will miss you most
I turn to memories:
Made by the pounding, surging waters
Colliding deeply within the labyrinth
Where sorrow did once reside
Only now: with patience and time
The wounded and healed: Do abide.
© LDS

[Kätzchen]

Moaning softly, she turned over gently – shivering – seeking CC’z heat as she woke to the coolness of the air wafting off the river, the effervescent babbling of the water near the boulder they were lying on; how it seemed to be darker with only a faint hint of periwinkle blue and mellow orange shades from the late evening sunset. The first star of the evening began to twinkle above them. The gentle rhythm of their breathing was saturated by the core smell of burnt offering to each other, as if a melding of their sensuality were laden with the musk-like nectar of Grecian God’s and Goddesses: it permeated the air all around them as they aroused to the notion that they needed their clothes on - and in one big hurry.
It was getting cold!

“Hon?” she whispered to CC. “HOn? Will you wake up? It’s getting cold out here and it looks like it is darker, too. We should get up and head back to town and find something to eat. I’m HuNgRy!” she said, starting to chatter at the teeth a bit. She lifted her head above CCz to see where all their clothes landed in the wild and incredible afternoon they had just experienced. Then it hit her: not only did they need to get some clothes on, but she wanted a cigarette! Just then, CCz arms tightened around her and drew her in. CC opened one eye a smidge… then waited until she was just close enough that Hy could sneak a kiss to her lips. Pressing deeply into her lips, CC gently guided her back onto the boulder; going deeper into her mouth with Hiz tongue and asserting Hiz sexual dominance by finally laying completely on top of her and controlling every heated moment of the kiss that was consuming them both with passion that smoldered: the idea that Hiz kiss would blow every last inch of resistance from her, left CC breathless with the gentle pride that seemingly only butch guys know about. Releasing her from the kiss, CC got up and started to find the cigarette case in Hiz pants. Finding it, he took out two pre-made cigarettes with filters and lit them both (CC was so damn cute doing this, she thought!), then grinned that famous CC grin as Hy exhaled and gently gave the other one to her.

“Hon?” said CC dreamily, “Do you know how long I have waited to do that with you?” CC picked up Hiz pants and put them on, yet left the pants unzipped as they draped above Hiz boney hips as Hy dreamily looked at her and exhaled a perfectly circled halo.

“Yes dear, I do know” she said, with a warm lazy smile. “Do you know how long I have waited for you to do this, too?” she said slowly, as she took a long drag off the cigarette CC had given to her. CC loved standing there looking at her in all her purest of essence – her nakedness in the fading twilight of the evening.
“Thank you Hon for the cigarette and well, hon? I hope we haven’t outdone ourselves in our last moments because if sex or making love is like this now, then I want for my only wish that we have it this passionate anytime we want this, again.”

CC began to give her that annoyed look. “Are you gonna get up and get dressed? Or lay there all night, woman?”
“Help me up!” she said with a grin. With the cigarette hanging from Hiz lips, CC reached down with both arms and hands and helped her to get up. Giggling, she nearly tripped and caused them both to wonder if they would fall into the water! Both of them were looking at each other as took a drag off their cigarettes, one last time. Once they exhaled, CC leaned over and took her in Hiz arms and hugged her while nuzzling her neck.

“Come on, hon! Help me get dressed. It’s getting dark out here and you know how klutzy I am in the dark” she softly said, as she nuzzled and kissed CC’z nose. So CC released her and then gently spanked her as she turned to get her bra and panties and well, you know - all her stuff. Femme’s have a lot of accessories: Their purse or jacket or shoe’s – just to name a few.

It was just then that CC realized Hiz cock was missing.
“Hon, do you see my cock anywhere?” CC sighed with frustration.

She turned to CC and put her hand on Hiz invisible cock.
“Right here hon!” she smiled with devilish charm. CC grabbed her and kissed her deeply. Grinding into her, CC let out a deep groan. And just at that moment a moan escaped from her, too. They held onto each other. Softly smiling she said to CC, “Hon? It’s a total possibility that we kicked it off the boulder and it floated down river.”

Squeezing her harder, Hy popped her back and she let out a sigh of relief. “Mwah! Thank you dear for doing that for me,” as she kissed him lightly on Hiz nose!

“We can come back another time and look for it. Right now, let’s go” CC said, as hy took her by the hand and helped her down off of the boulder and onto the earthen trail that led to their spot on the river. Both of them carefully wound the trail in an upwards motion. Rocks were escaping the traction of their feet as they climbed up the trail in the dark.
It was just about then, that the Klutz fairy arrived.
The wind gusted a bit and caused her to lose her balance as CC led them up the path. She tripped and fell to the side of the path where it dropped off to another embankment along the river: losing her breath as she went in slow motion over the edge.
“Help me CC,” her voice raised, trembling with fear! But the motion and gravity of the peculiar situation she was literally falling into, took CC by surprise. For once, CC was at odds against the logic of gravity: the weight of her pulling Hym into her fall and the scary idea that they might be in one helluva jam without any help. It was too late to express the horror of what was happening. By the time she came to rest on the broken limb of a pine tree – there she was looking up at CC with pleading eyes; yet CC was hanging on the edge of the path, literally by Hiz toes!!! Hanging there eyeing each other, and certainly NOT in range for a kiss, they both let nervous laughter escape from them – seeing the dark humor of the moment!

She looked up at Hym and quietly said: “If I ever live to tell about this to anyone, I just want you to know that I love you for everything and that I think you are one hell of a guy! Thank you for everything you have always done for me. And for heaven’s sake, let it be known that you are the sweetest Lover of My life! I don’t want anyone else in my life but you and certainly no one else will touch me, other than you! Now HOn, will you just do some of your magic and get us out of this mess?” as she smiled that smile that knew what Hy would do next.

CC looked at her with a certain look: “Hon? Good news. If you fall now, we will both die together and isn’t there some sort of a Shakespearean element to that? Don’t you agree hon?” CC said with Hiz best poker face.

“CC, for heaven’s sake - come on!!! Don’t be coy with me at a moment like this,” she practically shrieked! “Help me hon! My arms are getting tired!!!!!”

CC just loved moments like this. Matter of fact, it’s safe to say that Hy LiVeD for moments like this!!! Hy loved being her hero… The funny thing was – is that CC knew there wasn’t much of a drop below her, but she hadn’t taken time to even look down. CC played with her and motioned exaggeratingly with Hiz eyes which caused her to look down.

“OMG!!! HOn? If I fall down from here how will I get back up there, to help you get up,” she asked incredulously???

“Actually” CC said, “I’m going to go with the fall and hang onto your hand. Then when I get more than half way falling sideways near you, I want you let go of that branch and fall with me – okay?”

And just at that time, CC did as Hy said and went into a free fall – Hiz eyes never leaving her eyes, they began to fall together. But in doing so they didn’t realize that the ledge they thought they were falling onto was none other than the hibernation cave of a Great Bear. As they both dropped onto the surface, the earth of the cave gave way under the magnitude of the force of both of them landing on it!





Dearest Diary,

The season of fall in all its glory is beautiful to gaze at here in paradise. Forests span everywhere the eye can see; yet the hills that lead to them are showing their true colors. Colors that only come forth: as the season begins to extract fully what seasons of spring and summer cannot do during fall. Oranges, reds, yellows, umbers: The Earth’s brilliant and majestic display that attests to a universe
that is alive with cosmically vibrant energy. That hum of the universe has been fine tuning my ability to see, hear, and truly listen. It’s funny but yet, not that funny. It’s more like a deep awe filled reverence.
When I am still and quiet, I try to hear Earth’s vibrations as it channels into my ears as if balancing competing tensions in my soul. I used to have Question’s for you, but now I see the question to me.

Don’t go holding out on me, dearest diary! I need your pages to think in earnest and with honesty because being real in the moment takes courage. I have courage.
Dearest Diary??? I have no questions for you tonight, but here’s an answer for you in case you need one:

Thank you for being You.