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Old 01-05-2012, 04:12 PM   #1
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I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:20 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by blucollargrl View Post
I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!
{{{{{blu}}}}} i'm so sorry you got hurt.
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:25 PM   #3
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hugs are awesome!! Thanks!
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:28 PM   #4
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I agree with Corkey.

Sometimes even when great advice is given, if it is not what we want to hear, we go ahead and do what we want to do anyway.

Some lessons we need to learn for ourselves.

Don't beat yourself over it, just learn and grow from it.
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:36 PM   #5
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I'd like to put some emphasis on the heal part. Take some time to understand what happened and the why of it, including your part in it. Folks make the worst mistakes by jumping into relationships they just aren't ready for because they haven't taken the time to learn from the last one. . Its human nature to want to be paired up, in some form and fashion. Growing from the healing is so much easier and the lessons tend not to have to be repeated.
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:21 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by blucollargrl View Post
I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!
Don't beat yourself up over stuff you can't control. Learn and grow from this and heal before you try again.
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:45 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by blucollargrl View Post
I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!
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Old 01-05-2012, 05:22 PM   #8
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I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!

Advice is always great - but we as human beings tend to listen to our inner thoughts and learn the lessons needed.

Don't beat yourself up over this - mistakes are made and gotten over. Hearts get broken and mend....

The best part is when the time is right - you will be available for the perfect person for you.....
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Old 01-05-2012, 09:47 PM   #9
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I love this sight....everyone is so helpful and things aren't sugarcoated!! Makes it easier for a baby butch to find her way.
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Old 01-06-2012, 01:24 PM   #10
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Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!
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Old 01-06-2012, 04:12 PM   #11
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Quote:
I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!
from an 'old butch'......40 years later and that feeling still exists for me...
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Old 01-06-2012, 04:24 PM   #12
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Hi there baby butch!

The right femme will be dropping to her knees for you in a hot minute

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Old 01-06-2012, 06:01 PM   #13
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I prefer my femme to drop to her knees, but who's mincing...
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Old 01-08-2012, 08:04 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by blucollargrl View Post
Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!
Its sounds like you feel in love with the experience and its not just about the woman. I'm not saying you didn't have feelings for her but that the first connection is always "WOW" and your hormones can get the best of you, for sure! It's not a bad thing but looking at the whole picture you want all the elements there for a good relationship. People laugh at me because I approach relationships like business partners, in a sense. Yes I want chemistry but everything else has to make sense. You've got to really like and respect the person you're going to spend in and day out with. If you base it strictly on lust then you're making a big mistake.
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Old 01-08-2012, 10:19 AM   #15
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Baby butch,

There are many layers to this journey of ours. I think that when we first come out or recognize our true identity, regardless of what that means to us; the world is like a brand-new place. We may have always lived in it but all of a sudden, we are looking at it through brand-new eyes.

No matter our age, there is a certain adolescent quality to it. I laid eyes on my 1st honest-to-god butch at age 16 and did go weak in the knees ( though did not fall to my knees).

I had a circuitous route to finally coming out but when I did, at about age 25, I was about in love with everyone I laid eyes on.

It does take some time and experience to get to the place where you do not want to jump the bones of every hot one that you see ( well some never get to that place), to not think you are in love with everyone you are seriously attracted to and really learn the difference between attraction/love and lust.

It is a process and can be hot, fun and painful- not necessarily in that order but a wonderful journey it is-into this world of ours.

Buckle up baby, it can be a bumpy ride!

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Old 01-10-2012, 08:55 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blucollargrl View Post
Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!
Good Luck to you Blu...she will be a very lucky femme to hold your heart and keep you...
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