What do you feel "too old" for?

[SweetJane]

Originally Posted by AtLast

I know, Greyson- maybe we need a definition of dating thread!

It's a regional thing, I think, and maybe a sign of the times. People don't date like they did when I was young. When my daughter was a teenager in ND, you were a slut if you dated. You had to "go with" someone, one at a time. I just thought that would lead to trouble....and it probably did. Her cousin in Cali who was her same age did date like I did as a young woman.

I dated several at a time, and it was interesting getting to know each one. It helps sort out what you want in a relationship. And, when you're young, it helps you learn how to behave with someone.

Now that I'm in this community, I'd like to date more for that very reason, to get to know other people and to explore what relating is about.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by SweetJane

It's a regional thing, I think, and maybe a sign of the times. People don't date like they did when I was young. When my daughter was a teenager in ND, you were a slut if you dated. You had to "go with" someone, one at a time. I just thought that would lead to trouble....and it probably did. Her cousin in Cali who was her same age did date like I did as a young woman.

I dated several at a time, and it was interesting getting to know each one. It helps sort out what you want in a relationship. And, when you're young, it helps you learn how to behave with someone.

Now that I'm in this community, I'd like to date more for that very reason, to get to know other people and to explore what relating is about.

I agree- and getting to know someone is important. I guess since I have spent 27 years "relating," and am now 60, I think I get relating (and am quite relational). I also think that in my age cohort (and I don't date much younger or much older women), it is also more limited- but I also find that there are many other things I want to do other than date with my time. And I honestly do like getting to know someone on many levels which, for me, takes time as well as experiencing how things go through the curve life throws me and what may be a major event in the life of who I am dating.

When I was young, the "going together" thing was more true also when I was heterosexual. This changed after realizing that my heart and soul was at peace with a woman. Although, by age 30, I wanted a monogamous "marriage." Prior to that I went through poly relationships and was also bisexual. I was rather experimental, now that I think about it.

Aging has also brough more of a need to savor what I am experiencing- the "the less time you have, the more you don't want to waste" phenomenon, I believe. So many things that I used to be able to cope with and compromise about, I just want to anymore. The "need" for a relationship/marriage has transformed into being about what I "desire and want" really.

I really enjoy dates full of conversation in which I feel listened to and want to return this to my date. Being able to laugh easily with someone I am dating is important as well as both of us not being afraid to let our faults show. We all have them- might as well get them out there and see if any are non-negotiables. And of course, I get anxious about all of this because I don't date anyone that I don't have a romantic and yes, physical "tug" for. Who likes rejection! But, it is part of life. Have to deal with it.

I also think that so much changes with aging and losing someone via death- a partner and also several loved ones.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Honey

Dating the twenty something's...Its like Relationship 101...Uggh !!!!

Originally Posted by theblueone

relationship 101? Or you just can't keep up with them?

I am certainly not Honey and can't speak for her, but I do know what it's like to date someone that's several years one's junior.

It's going through the same growth and crises and angst that you went through years ago but through your partner's eyes.

And it's freakin' draining.

I'm no one's trainer in my personal relationships. If they aren't where I am psychologically and emotionally and in general, then they are not with me.

P.S.~ Your question to her sounded a bit personal and catty to me. Just an observation.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I am certainly not Honey and can't speak for her, but I do know what it's like to date someone that's several years one's junior.

It's going through the same growth and crises and angst that you went through years ago but through your partner's eyes.

And it's freakin' draining.
I'm no one's trainer in my personal relationships. If they aren't where I am psychologically and emotionally and in general, then they are not with me.

P.S.~ Your question to her sounded a bit personal and catty to me. Just an observation.

What I bolded is one of the clearest statements about going through this situation I have ever read. And why more often than not (there are exceptions, but I always wonder about the developmental age of the more senior member in these), a large age difference doesn't work.

I also agree with your observation about some cattiness to the question and that it was a personal shot. I could be wrong- don't know either party, but keeping the personal out of the forums/threads is really appreciated.