Paying It Forward

LaneyDoll · 01-11-2012, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

tonight, as i was standing in the concession line at the movies, the older couple in front of me turned around and handed me their free popcorn voucher.

i settled for thanking them profusely, even though i really wanted to hug them. the only reason i got to go to the movies tonight is because my friend had free passes and invited me along.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sierragirrl

funny i ran into this thread.i have just set it up with a friend of mine who is raising her grandaughter to purchase a bike for the granddaughter next month. She is at the age where girls start to be mean to other girls and has lost alot of her "friends".she suffers from low self esteem.her mother is a recovering drug addict and is raising another child but not this one.She really is a good seed and shoot a bike = excersize so thats a plus.
i will be dropping off the bike when she is not around,i want her to know there are people out there who love her.

Things like this are paying it forward. Good deeds, often done without recognition and for random reasons. A lot of times, these deeds are small, do not involve a lot of money and benefit chance strangers. I am not saying that donating to charity etc is not paying it forward but the basic idea is to do things randomly, as the opportunity presents, for people you do not know or barely know.

From the internet:
~Steps
1. Be attentive wherever you are for opportunities to help someone. Perhaps you have an elderly or disabled neighbor who is too proud to ask for help with their yard work or maybe you're in a restaurant and see someone who looks like they could use some kind stranger to pay for their meal. You can change people's attitudes about the world through your unobtrusive acts of kindness.

2. Do something nice for someone you don't know (or don't know very well). It should be something significant, and not for a person from whom you expect a good deed -- or anything at all, for that matter -- in return.

3. Spread the word. If the person thanks you and wants to "repay" you (that is, pay it "back"), let them know that what you'd really like is for them to pay it "forward" -- you'd like them to do something nice for three people they don't know, and ask those three people to do something nice for three more people. The idea is to consciously increase the goodness of the world.4Pay it forward. When you notice that somebody has done something nice for you, make a note in your mind to practice three acts of kindness towards other people, as described in Step 3.

~Tips:
*The "pay it forward" concept was popularized with the book Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde, which was later made into a movie with the same title.
*Even small acts, such as paying the bridge toll for the car behind you when you pay for your own, counts. If it makes the world a friendlier place, you succeeded!
*Practicing the "pay it forward" principle will make you alert to unexpected kindness from strangers toward you, and you may find yourself becoming more grateful for everyday kindness and consideration from people you don't even know.

Tommi · 01-11-2012, 08:39 AM

We are the world. We are the Children.

Love ya
Tommi.

princessbelle · 01-11-2012, 09:27 AM

What a WONDERFUL thread. You ALL are so inspiring.

There are opportunities everywhere. Really there are. As a nurse doing home health i try and watch for those. We aren't allowed to donate money or items to these families. But, what we ARE allowed to do is take the time to "hear them".

Sometimes it's as easy as that. People are lonely. Everyone wants to be heard and validated. Everyone has a story.

When you say in passing "hi, how are you today" and you get a look of sadness, maybe take the time to pat a shoulder in Wall-Mart or at the grocery store and see if they want to talk.

It can mean a world of difference to someone who is lonely and in need of friend to hear them, even if it's 5 minutes of our time.

Cost=nothing. Time=very little. Difference=could be huge.

Tommi · 01-12-2012, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

Things like this are paying it forward. Good deeds, often done without recognition and for random reasons. A lot of times, these deeds are small, do not involve a lot of money and benefit chance strangers. I am not saying that donating to charity etc is not paying it forward but the basic idea is to do things randomly, as the opportunity presents, for people you do not know or barely know.

From the internet:
~Steps
1. Be attentive wherever you are for opportunities to help someone. Perhaps you have an elderly or disabled neighbor who is too proud to ask for help with their yard work or maybe you're in a restaurant and see someone who looks like they could use some kind stranger to pay for their meal. You can change people's attitudes about the world through your unobtrusive acts of kindness.

2. Do something nice for someone you don't know (or don't know very well). It should be something significant, and not for a person from whom you expect a good deed -- or anything at all, for that matter -- in return.

3. Spread the word. If the person thanks you and wants to "repay" you (that is, pay it "back"), let them know that what you'd really like is for them to pay it "forward" -- you'd like them to do something nice for three people they don't know, and ask those three people to do something nice for three more people. The idea is to consciously increase the goodness of the world.4Pay it forward. When you notice that somebody has done something nice for you, make a note in your mind to practice three acts of kindness towards other people, as described in Step 3.

~Tips:
*The "pay it forward" concept was popularized with the book Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde, which was later made into a movie with the same title.
*Even small acts, such as paying the bridge toll for the car behind you when you pay for your own, counts. If it makes the world a friendlier place, you succeeded!
*Practicing the "pay it forward" principle will make you alert to unexpected kindness from strangers toward you, and you may find yourself becoming more grateful for everyday kindness and consideration from people you don't even know.

Morgan · 01-15-2012, 12:28 AM

Vlasta · 01-15-2012, 02:40 AM

What a great thread !!!!! Thank you

Working in the medical field all my life I never treated just a patient , but a whole family and I always made an extra step which doesn't cost you anything , but it comfort everyone involved in crisis . While I was still working ER before working in an anesthesia it was traumatic itself for the patient and family just to be in ER at many times with a life threatening conditions . Yes , it was extra work , but very satisfying to me .

I went to a grocery store and I heard " Nurse , nurse " I turned around and there was a person said you saved my life . Well , I didn't feel I saved someone's life on my own , but obviously I made that impression on the patient by my actions . This particular patient had a heart attack and want to leave and go home . I was always honest and stern . I told him and his wife . If you leave you will die . Harsh ? Yes , but truthful . Thank God he listened . It was so great to see him and his wife still together and happy . Many times when people approach me , I am embarrassed since I don't remember " you took care of my mom or dad " . I see so many people on daily bases it was very hard to remember everyone circumstances .

As for giving , I am all for it . I have means to do so and never hesitated to give . I believe in an another thread I stated , I donate and adopt a family or single mother in need .

This past holiday was a first time I didn't do anything since my own life was in turmoil , I felt guilty for not doing anything this year , but my situation was too demanding and I was too involved in it . We really didn't have the Christmas and call me crazy, but this coming Monday we will have a typical Czech Christmas dinner as a family . No tree , but family time since we couldn't do it during the holidays .

Yet , we as family combining two houses together I am not interested in craigslist , everything will be donated to people in need . The economy it's so bad , people are lacking a basic things , I am not interested to get any money for anything we no need . Actually it's a shame we have so many things when there are people they are having a hard time to put food on the table for they family.

I hope this makes some sense since I am writing this , because my pain woke me up and I needed to take my antibiotics . I will never forget people in need and when I can , I will always do something no matter what . I was raised that way by my parents my heroes , many posts I read here just wrench my heart .

I wish I could help more .

much love to all

Vlasta

Sachita · 01-15-2012, 06:43 AM

If everyone looked in their own backyard/community you'll see so many little things. You just simply need to walk out your door and adopt the attitude that we are all human beings living the human experience or trying to. If we all realized that we are all truly connected, part of each other, then we might find it easier to nurture and embrace all things.

Be kind and considerate of all things.

Heavenleahangel · 01-15-2012, 07:53 AM

I have been "paying it forward" ever since I was old enough to realize I came from the poor side of town and everytime someone would bring clothes or shoes or food to my Mama, I would feel sooo guilty for getting whatever was being brought as I knew there were many of my friends at school that was worse off than I was.
I started by taking whatever I couldn't wear and passed it along. Anytime I had a treat, I shared it with my best friend, etc. That made me feel a little better.
Now, I will find things at yard sales/consignment stores and pass them along to some of my friend's kids who are poor like I was growing up. I know these kids need the stuff and I am more than happy to pass along the blessings.

I start in late summer shopping the clearance sales on toys to pass along at Christmas. ALWAYS shop end of season sales like now, this time of year to get good deals on clothing. Some I pass along now if I can find someone who can use it, the rest I store til next season. I do this every chance I get.

I ALWAYS buy consignment for my son who is 4. If I have to buy new, I consign the clothing back or pass them down to someone else I know. No one can believe my son is wearing used clothing! He is always dressed in style and in good taste. It saves $$ and helps other parents who are in the same position as I was/am.

Most importantly in my life, I am responsible for 5 individuals who have varying levels of developmental delays. None of them are "adults" mentally. My family-which I call them as I am like "Mom" to them and take total care of them like their own mom's would. I am "Mom" to 3 of them! This is a full-time job, the pay isn't much, the "benefits" from the job are non-existent, but the benefits I get from knowing my "kids" are well fed, have a safe, stable roof over thir heads, medical care, clean clothes, health care-everything a bio mom would do. It's like having 4 teenagers around the age of 14-16 and 1 who is around the age of 10!
I love it! I give to these poeple what their own families can't or WONT give them. This is my pleasure. My calling. I know I will not be able to mother them forever and they will move on in life to another program or placement, but I know when they leave my care, they have felt valued and respected as human beings and know what it's like to be safe, loved and *wanted.* Something many have never felt.

Andrea · 01-15-2012, 08:41 AM

My life is so blessed. Even in the tougher emotional times, I have it better than many people. My honey enjoys anonymously purchasing meals for people. I hate to see people have to put back food when short money at the grocery store, so I will step up and pay.

Most of our neighbors are below poverty level income, disabled and/or elderly. We share foods from our garden and find ways to help them with dignity. One time we did that by offering a neighbor a new folding chair for his front porch because his had no seat strings. We told him our dad couldn't use it and we thought he might take it off our hands.

I order freebies that are then donated to our local homeless shelter. Shampoo, toothpaste, lotion...... For those of you that travel, consider donating the shampoo, etc from your hotel rooms.

Each payday we look around us to see if any of our friends, neighbors, friends of friends, etc., need some financial help. It seems like someone is always in need of a little extra help.

Like someone else mentioned, I smile at everyone. I remember days when a smile from someone made the world less heavy.

Paying it forward is the best medicine in the world.

Jett · 01-15-2012, 10:10 AM

A small "extra" garden on the boulevard, between the sidewalk and street (check city ordinances first) with tomatoes etc. for those who walk by (lots where we live) with a little staked sign facing sidewalk "Pls take what you need"... always nearly picked bare but happily I've never seen anyone one person strip it bare... anyway, just a thought for city dwellers....

adorable · 01-19-2012, 04:42 PM

I love this thread. I believe very strongly in paying it forward. It's right in line with the phrase "faith without works is dead," which is an important mantra in my life. I rarely tell anyone. I get upset when people find out actually. I'm not part of the 1% by any stretch, but I do make decent money for what I do. I also grew up dirt poor, so money doesn't hold the same power for me as it does for some. I will buy/do/donate things because I can. There is nothing that makes me feel better. It's like I have magical super powers. lol. I can create magic for others. I love Christmas for this reason. I've always struggled with long term anything, friendships, relationships - commitments to others in general - I am excellent though at paying attention and reading people. Two abilities from childhood that really have little purpose in my life today other than the ability to use them for magic making now.

01-11-2012, 08:39 AM	#2
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Subscribing We are the world. We are the Children. Love ya Tommi.

01-11-2012, 09:27 AM	#3
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	What a WONDERFUL thread. You ALL are so inspiring. There are opportunities everywhere. Really there are. As a nurse doing home health i try and watch for those. We aren't allowed to donate money or items to these families. But, what we ARE allowed to do is take the time to "hear them". Sometimes it's as easy as that. People are lonely. Everyone wants to be heard and validated. Everyone has a story. When you say in passing "hi, how are you today" and you get a look of sadness, maybe take the time to pat a shoulder in Wall-Mart or at the grocery store and see if they want to talk. It can mean a world of difference to someone who is lonely and in need of friend to hear them, even if it's 5 minutes of our time. Cost=nothing. Time=very little. Difference=could be huge. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

01-15-2012, 12:28 AM	#5
Morgan Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, hy, hym, does not matter Relationship Status: I am enjoying life.... Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Arizona Posts: 643 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,753 Thanked 1,604 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	__________________ “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” Robert Fritz

01-15-2012, 02:40 AM	#6
Vlasta BFP Sentinels How Do You Identify?: ................. Preferred Pronoun?: .............. Relationship Status: .................. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ............... Posts: 546 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,353 Thanked 1,001 Times in 286 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Thank you for this thread :) What a great thread !!!!! Thank you Working in the medical field all my life I never treated just a patient , but a whole family and I always made an extra step which doesn't cost you anything , but it comfort everyone involved in crisis . While I was still working ER before working in an anesthesia it was traumatic itself for the patient and family just to be in ER at many times with a life threatening conditions . Yes , it was extra work , but very satisfying to me . I went to a grocery store and I heard " Nurse , nurse " I turned around and there was a person said you saved my life . Well , I didn't feel I saved someone's life on my own , but obviously I made that impression on the patient by my actions . This particular patient had a heart attack and want to leave and go home . I was always honest and stern . I told him and his wife . If you leave you will die . Harsh ? Yes , but truthful . Thank God he listened . It was so great to see him and his wife still together and happy . Many times when people approach me , I am embarrassed since I don't remember " you took care of my mom or dad " . I see so many people on daily bases it was very hard to remember everyone circumstances . As for giving , I am all for it . I have means to do so and never hesitated to give . I believe in an another thread I stated , I donate and adopt a family or single mother in need . This past holiday was a first time I didn't do anything since my own life was in turmoil , I felt guilty for not doing anything this year , but my situation was too demanding and I was too involved in it . We really didn't have the Christmas and call me crazy, but this coming Monday we will have a typical Czech Christmas dinner as a family . No tree , but family time since we couldn't do it during the holidays . Yet , we as family combining two houses together I am not interested in craigslist , everything will be donated to people in need . The economy it's so bad , people are lacking a basic things , I am not interested to get any money for anything we no need . Actually it's a shame we have so many things when there are people they are having a hard time to put food on the table for they family. I hope this makes some sense since I am writing this , because my pain woke me up and I needed to take my antibiotics . I will never forget people in need and when I can , I will always do something no matter what . I was raised that way by my parents my heroes , many posts I read here just wrench my heart . I wish I could help more . much love to all Vlasta

01-15-2012, 06:43 AM	#7
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,992 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	If everyone looked in their own backyard/community you'll see so many little things. You just simply need to walk out your door and adopt the attitude that we are all human beings living the human experience or trying to. If we all realized that we are all truly connected, part of each other, then we might find it easier to nurture and embrace all things. Be kind and considerate of all things. __________________ You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else. ~ Daniel Franzese

01-15-2012, 07:53 AM	#8
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,068 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675554	I have been "paying it forward" ever since I was old enough to realize I came from the poor side of town and everytime someone would bring clothes or shoes or food to my Mama, I would feel sooo guilty for getting whatever was being brought as I knew there were many of my friends at school that was worse off than I was. I started by taking whatever I couldn't wear and passed it along. Anytime I had a treat, I shared it with my best friend, etc. That made me feel a little better. Now, I will find things at yard sales/consignment stores and pass them along to some of my friend's kids who are poor like I was growing up. I know these kids need the stuff and I am more than happy to pass along the blessings. I start in late summer shopping the clearance sales on toys to pass along at Christmas. ALWAYS shop end of season sales like now, this time of year to get good deals on clothing. Some I pass along now if I can find someone who can use it, the rest I store til next season. I do this every chance I get. I ALWAYS buy consignment for my son who is 4. If I have to buy new, I consign the clothing back or pass them down to someone else I know. No one can believe my son is wearing used clothing! He is always dressed in style and in good taste. It saves $$ and helps other parents who are in the same position as I was/am. Most importantly in my life, I am responsible for 5 individuals who have varying levels of developmental delays. None of them are "adults" mentally. My family-which I call them as I am like "Mom" to them and take total care of them like their own mom's would. I am "Mom" to 3 of them! This is a full-time job, the pay isn't much, the "benefits" from the job are non-existent, but the benefits I get from knowing my "kids" are well fed, have a safe, stable roof over thir heads, medical care, clean clothes, health care-everything a bio mom would do. It's like having 4 teenagers around the age of 14-16 and 1 who is around the age of 10! I love it! I give to these poeple what their own families can't or WONT give them. This is my pleasure. My calling. I know I will not be able to mother them forever and they will move on in life to another program or placement, but I know when they leave my care, they have felt valued and respected as human beings and know what it's like to be safe, loved and wanted. Something many have never felt. __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

01-15-2012, 08:41 AM	#9
Andrea Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Mature Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Her/She Relationship Status: I heart Rene Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: California Posts: 3,755 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,427 Thanked 14,921 Times in 3,020 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	My life is so blessed. Even in the tougher emotional times, I have it better than many people. My honey enjoys anonymously purchasing meals for people. I hate to see people have to put back food when short money at the grocery store, so I will step up and pay. Most of our neighbors are below poverty level income, disabled and/or elderly. We share foods from our garden and find ways to help them with dignity. One time we did that by offering a neighbor a new folding chair for his front porch because his had no seat strings. We told him our dad couldn't use it and we thought he might take it off our hands. I order freebies that are then donated to our local homeless shelter. Shampoo, toothpaste, lotion...... For those of you that travel, consider donating the shampoo, etc from your hotel rooms. Each payday we look around us to see if any of our friends, neighbors, friends of friends, etc., need some financial help. It seems like someone is always in need of a little extra help. Like someone else mentioned, I smile at everyone. I remember days when a smile from someone made the world less heavy. Paying it forward is the best medicine in the world. __________________ I am very spoiled! What we think about and thank about, we bring about! Today I will treat my body with love and respect.

01-15-2012, 10:10 AM	#10
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	A small "extra" garden on the boulevard, between the sidewalk and street (check city ordinances first) with tomatoes etc. for those who walk by (lots where we live) with a little staked sign facing sidewalk "Pls take what you need"... always nearly picked bare but happily I've never seen anyone one person strip it bare... anyway, just a thought for city dwellers.... __________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

01-19-2012, 04:42 PM	#11
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,644 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119	I love this thread. I believe very strongly in paying it forward. It's right in line with the phrase "faith without works is dead," which is an important mantra in my life. I rarely tell anyone. I get upset when people find out actually. I'm not part of the 1% by any stretch, but I do make decent money for what I do. I also grew up dirt poor, so money doesn't hold the same power for me as it does for some. I will buy/do/donate things because I can. There is nothing that makes me feel better. It's like I have magical super powers. lol. I can create magic for others. I love Christmas for this reason. I've always struggled with long term anything, friendships, relationships - commitments to others in general - I am excellent though at paying attention and reading people. Two abilities from childhood that really have little purpose in my life today other than the ability to use them for magic making now.