A question for the Femmes

[uniquetobeme]

Making friends is a good way to ease back into dating and you may meet some neat people. It takes a lot of the pressure off. Believe in yourself and take things a day at a time. I believe everything happens for a reason and you'll meet that someone special when the time is right. In my experience, the best loves of my life have come out of the blue in the most unexpected ways. I think, sometimes, life gives us what we need when we need it.
Don't give up, somewhere there is a lovely lady waiting for someone just like you, and you won't find her if you give up.

[starryeyes]

There is someone out there for everyone. She just wasn't your "one". You said you just started putting yourself out there, be patient. It takes time, and just cause you strike out the first time doesn't mean you are doomed forever.

As far as the monetary situation goes, money is important to some and not to others. It bothered her, so she isn't for you. Financial stability is very important to some, not so much for others. I don't think anyone should knock her for that.

When I am dating, I look for partners who are in similar financial situations as me, who have stability and who can support the lifestyle we want to live together. There is nothing wrong with that. It would be hard for me to date someone unemployed, as I am an extremely hard worker and look to date butches who have the same ethic. It is just what I want :-)

Smiles and good luck to you... hugs. You will find your one, I promise!

[Scuba]

Originally Posted by uniquetobeme

Making friends is a good way to ease back into dating and you may meet some neat people.

I totally agree with you Uniquetobeme. Sometimes I think we as humans, regardless of gender or sexual preference, forget what it means to actually get to know someone. Dating is great and a lot of fun but whatever happened to getting to know someone BEFORE you ask them out on a date.

My philosophy on all of this is simple. Initial physical attraction can be a really strong force in motivating us to ask a person out on a date (it makes us do crazy, silly things as well). However, it clouds our judgment. If things don't work out for this reason or that we are disappointed. Get to know someone as a friend first. Remove those dating expectations from the equation e.g who pays for what and how much and are you crazy or sane. You'll find out all of this information in a friendship as well AND forgo the dating disappointment. Ask for a date only AFTER you have seen them at their worst and their best.

Bottom line for me...If you a are unable to see me first as a human being and a potential friend then dating is out of the question. AND this has NOTHING to do with how much money you make or what issues you think plague you. It has EVERYTHING to do with integrity, honesty and love.

Keep putting yourself out there. Create those strong friendships and see where things lead from there. When you are strong and confident in your own life, money be damned and issues be damned, than that special someone will see this in you.

Call me old fashion and crazy...Scoobs

PS...Don't see a "no" as rejection. This means you are personalizing someone else's decisions in life. A "no" has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who says no.