...~* Diary in Blue *~...

[Kätzchen]

As Dayle and Nikita drove with fevered imaginations to the destination stop, they relentlessly argued about everything from failed banking transactions, appointments with each other that they missed: Lack of deep sleep to reasons of why they were driving like maniacs on a highway darkened by the shadows of huge Redwood trees to the chasm of aimlessly dense fog that engulfed them.

“Why are we driving to that pick-up point?” Nikita questioned Dayle, with pointed delivery of tone.


“Because CC would do it for me,” Dayle hissed, “if I ever needed a secret means of getting back to home with you, Nikita” as hy drove with continued fervor, trying to make sure they made it to the pickup point, where Hy and CC had arranged to meet.

“All I want is time just for us without us having to do X, Y and Z for your friend CC,” remarked Nikita, giving voice to her deeply felt anxiety.

“Nikita, can we put this conversation off until we accomplish this task,” Dayle feverishly pleaded with her as he drove frantically on the foggy highway.

Laying Hys hand on Nikita’s thigh, Nikita took Dayle’s hand and held it tightly. Deliberately sighing with anxiousness, she just wanted to be home again with Dayle and have Hys undivided attention. She silently assured Dayle, by firmly holding Hys hand, indicating she was willing to set the conversation aside; because even though she really wanted the conversation to continue, she knew when Dayle was genuinely frustrated by hazardous road conditions.

It seemed as though the fog deepened with each curve of the road. The road became more treacherous because of black-ice conditions. All it would take would be one failed maneuver in driving and they would be completely helpless; as now they were in a cell free zone and no town in site for miles to get help, should they lose control of the truck Dayle was driving.

Dayle was worried about why Hy hadn’t seen the locomotives’ engine light because hy had been able to see the train weave in and out of the timbered foliage – well, until the fog became so dense. Hy was thinking that they should have come upon the train crossing by now and it worried Hym that maybe they had missed the pickup point: right before the train tressle crossed a canyon that dropped off into a gorge, which led to the violent surge of the ocean near Whaler’s Head Bay. Hy had been watching the odometer on the dash of the truck because in the fog, Hy couldn’t see anything and had to rely on the device to cue him for the point of destination. Just as the odometer rolled past mile 43, Dayle slowed down. Carefully seeking a turn-out place in the fog, the road seemed to have no direction, no rhyme or reason.

“Something isn’t right!” Dayle sighed heavily. “We should have been there by now. Where the hell is it, this place we should be waiting at?”

It was just about then, that the dueling, bickering, angels appeared on Dayles’ shoulders.

“See! I told you SO!” the ‘bad-boi’ angel spoke on one shoulder.

“Don’t listen to Hym!” replied the ‘good-boi’ angel on the other shoulder.

“I told you to shut UP!” glared the ‘bad-boi’ angel on one shoulder, back to the ‘good-boi’ angel on the other shoulder.

“Don’t listen to Hym, or Hy’ll drive you Car-razy!” argued the ‘good-boi’ angel, in defense of honoring the most logical of thoughts.

“lalalalalalalalalala!” shouted Dayle’s conscience over the bickering angels, dueling in their own private inferno!

It was just about then, when Nikita realized that something was going on in Dayle’s mind while driving. Hys driving became erratic as they accelerated over a small hill. And as they were descending into what appeared to be hairpin curves, Nikita and Dayle exchanged a moments-quick kiss. Upon entering the third harrowing curve with frightful speed, Dayle and Nikita both gasped as they realized what lay in front of them: railroad cars that had encountered derailment and had sprawled onto the highway haphazardly: With only a second moments notice to apply the brakes to keep from plowing into the derailed train cars!

“DAYYYYYLLLLLLLLE,” Nikita screamed!

And with that, Dayle let go of Nikita’s hand and focused on saving them both from the fate of dying while slamming into the cars.

Dayle rapidly swung the steering wheel into a 180; but they slammed the back of the truck into one car, which caused them to ricochet into another derailed car - all the while (still in consciousness) Dayle kept maneuvering the truck with each time it slammed into another obstacle.

When they finally came to a halt after the impact they both lay unconscious, as if stunned by the magnitude of the impact. Certainly now, there were no more bickering angels for Dayle to listen to and certainly it appeared that there were to be no more complex conversations to manage with Nikita.

And there they all lay amid the train wreck of the century: the fog deepening with each surge of the ocean below, and the eeriness of an early fall morning signaling a silent opus, yet to begin, with an electrified fever…



~~~~~





Dearest Diary,

The final assent is yet to begin upon the Everest of all mountains. Each precipice must be carefully mounted because the journey has many unknowns yet to be negotiated. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve had time to record my thoughts --- but you know how time is so precious and how many objectives I’ve yet to accomplish. Time is of the essence. And today, that essence calls me to pay attention to details.


And, just how is it that time passes so quickly?

The answer is so simple, yet ever so complex: Isn’t that just amazing?

I never fully knew just how magical this flight would be. Even with the unforeseen events, this passage in time has become quite the most notorious of ‘carpet rides’ yet.However, antiquated details or not, I find that I’ve still yet to come to terms with personal loss in life: That of my brother, whom I silently remember today with this poem.

Wherever you are today Mike, I know you know those unforeseen items on my menu. This poem is for you, my sweet baby brother, who left for who knows where in time *** (See, side note below).


It’s just like J. William Fulbright once stated: “In the long course of history, having people who understand your thought is much greater security than another submarine.”

***Side Note: I write poetry as a way to cope with stressors in my everyday life existence. Be it perceived losses I experience with members of my family to loss of any relationship I value in life or even stress I experience as a joy filled moment, I use poetry as a means to help me mediate and provide balance to my life.

A Death, by Insanity

It happened one day
Just out of nowhere
I was minding my own business
With not even one care

When out of the blue
Staring right back at me
Was the reflection of a sadist-
Channeling: “You’re crucified, to a ‘T’!”

How dare this happen
At a time like this
When I’m starved for your affection
or even your 'deep kiss'!

But the blackness of this magic
Was returned back with a stare-
Revealing a deeper revelation:
More like a nightmare.

I calmly replied, being ever so steely
“Blood to this ‘T’, are like diamonds to rust;
A revel-some lust that will expand and bust
Only to reveal: a death, by insanity.”

The lips in the mirror began to explain:
“Your memory serves you well.
Now go forth, and be sane!”

Oh! What a day that will be, one morn’
More like an epiphany:
Echoing the fragrance of a rose
As if nicked by a thorn

It is: sweet jubilee.

LDS © September 2nd, 2007

[Kätzchen]

Dearest Diary,

It would seem that I've not had time for you; but I've thought much about you lately in my private domain.

Today, all I have are poetic thoughts: thoughts about natural changes in the environment -and- how it seems like my life personifies, naturally, seasonal change.

When I have more time, I'll be back. But for now, this poem is all I have to give.

Until then,
I’m Yours Faithfully

~~~~~~~~

Beneath the Winter Snow

Every season brings its change:

Spring with its scented rain,
Summer with its incredible sunshine; and
Fall with its leaves of glory, conveying earths strain.

Whilst all previous seasonal changes exemplify change,

Winter gives a promise: the promise of undying hope --
The hope that buried priori will reveal its passionate syrup,
Bubbling in its crucible; dangling by a rope.

Laden in the throws of effervescent primordial epiphany,

Your Star leads me through the darkness of night.
Hallowed by the presence of an eerily shrouded Moon
My eyes dimly see: refractions of your prismatic light.

Buried in my heart of hearts is the seed of Your love:

Encased by coldness, the crucible engenders its glow;
Melting, metaphorical seasonal changes: galvanized
Beneath the Winter Snow.

LDS © November 2007

[Kätzchen]

That night, the train, on the rails that gave way to the catastrophic collision of mangled iron and sprawled cars, laid in wreckage - unknown to those who lived in those parts. It seemed as though hours had passed but in the darkest hours before dawn, something eerily came to pass - as foretold by the horrifying ‘grizzly’ that night in the cave, where she and CC encountered the much revered apparition that bellowed out its warning to them as they stared in utter disbelief.

Not once, but twice, CC had been tinkering with the message that they both had heard that day. But, it never once occurred to CC that the bear had tried his best to forewarn him of this: that those who trespass on the territory of the sacred native burial grounds would pay a price – the price of not knowing any better, when making entry into worlds not fully understood by humans. Of course, one way to understand any kind of mystery is to examine details that lead toward any type of ‘accident.’

Lying there, not quite fully cognizant of what had fully transpired, CC managed to see that she was still unconscious yet breathing, which seemed to be a relief of sorts. Gathering Hiz wits about Hym, CC donned Hiz clothing and carefully etched Hiz way out the chamber where they had been just moments before, experiencing the most mind-boggling of orgasms: the type that always go down in ‘history’ right before the ‘fall.’ Sarcastically, CCs brain reiterated all the scenario’s that came to mind: What kind of fall would Hy experience? Why did Hy have to fall? Would Hiz sweetheart ever wake back up again? Why the hell did the train have to have an accident just now? Where were Dayle and Nikita? Remembering that Hy had asked Dayle to follow the train’s path down the canyon to the ocean beach, Hy slowly made Hiz way toward an opening in the wreckage of their train car. Carefully assessing the dire position of balance the cars were in, CC scanned the premises to orient Hymself to the cataclysmic arrangement of the exact position they were in. In the distance (about 100 feet away), CC could see Dayle’s truck. Oddly, it seemed as if Dayle and Nikita were not in the truck, but his mind wasn’t cooperating with him - or so he thought! Looking toward the ground below, CC could see that it was safe to jump from the car without too much trouble. As soon as CC jumped down, Hy made Hiz way toward the truck and tried to rouse Dayle to consciousness but was unsuccessful. Carefully, CC lumbered along the driver’s side of the vehicle assessing damages. Dayle’s door was crunched beyond recognition and parts of the door window, the windshield and the window of Nikita’s door, were shattered. It appeared that they took several hits, before colliding with the trains’ cars. CC began to see if Hy could open the doors of the truck.

“Dayle, are you awake?” whispered CC with his deeply accented voice.

Dayle eyed CC with a look that of an injured person. Hy seemed to be coherently looking at CC but in the moments that progressed, CC managed to open the door and help Hiz friend come back to life.

“CC, what happened? I’m so glad you are here! It was so foggy and Nikita and I came upon the wreckage without the ability to stop,” Dayle was trying with all Hys might to explain what Hy thought had happened.

“Dayle, don’t worry about all that now. The girls are not okay: they’re both still conked out and we have to figure out a way to help ourselves and summon help to get them home or to the hospital” CC ‘z voice gave away the dire situation they were in.

Realizing that Dayle was coherent once again, CC managed to help Dayle out of the vehicle and while Dayle’s orientation revived, Hy experienced shock again to see the extent of the damage. Meanwhile, CC quietly assessed damage from a different angle: The angle of how the hell they were going to summon help to the scene of the wreckage.

It was about that time that Sweet Pea appeared from the timbered shadows, snorting her famous neighs that only those who knew this giant of a beast of a horse would know.

CC was never so glad in all Hiz life to see Sweet Pea! Sweet Pea had the deadliest kick this side of the Rockies. She also was the damnedest smartest horse with built in intuition - like that of a submarine’s radar that bleeps while hovering at depths unknown in uncharted seas. That horse was the know-all of the end-all, in all things! There Sweet Pea stood, as if led there by some unknown being – like an angel leading Sweet Pea to their rescue. Saddled in all her glory, she brayed to CC.

“Dayle, do you feel well enough and alert enough to hang on while I ride for help?” CC asked. Searching for approval in his eyes, he got his answer in spades: “Yes, I’m able to watch over the girls and see to them while you ride for help,” Dayle replied.

“Good, because before I go, I have to get her out of the train and get some blankets down here for both of the girls and make sure you have what you need until I get back with help” CC roared, as Hiz adrenaline kicked in.

And with that, CC made Hiz way back to the car where Hiz sweetheart lay unconscious from the train wreck of the century. Once back inside the car, Hy fumbled toward the entry of the cabin that they made love. Wafting up Hiz nostrils, her scent indelibly fed Hiz energy into overdrive. Looking upon her, lying on the bed in a crumpled heap of innocence, CC carefully gathered all the spare blankets he could find and the pillows that lay haphazardly around her. Before Hy left the chamber, Hy leaned over her and kissed her cheek, willing her spirit to live on past the hours that crept by all too quickly. Hurriedly, CC handed the blankets to Dayle. With a grave look to Dayle, CC remarked, “put some blankets around Nikita and save a few for my sweetheart – I’ll go get her now, so hurry!”

Just then, Sweet Pea let out a quiet bellow indicating that CC was being too slow with Hiz ways. CC whistled, cuing Sweet Pea to come forth and wait. CC always had a secret signal for Hiz sweetest of equines - Hiz adorable and loving Sweet Pea who knew every secret about CC since the day she was bottle fed in the barn. Sweet Pea positioned herself next to the car of the train awaiting CC’z arrival with Hiz wounded lover. Hiz biceps bulged, under the tremendous stress of weight from carrying her on a teetering car that was ready to fall over the edge into the surging and violent surf of the ocean below.

“Dayle!” shouted CC, toward the crippled and mangled vehicle where Dayle had been arranging the blankets around Nikita. “Come mount Sweet Pea and I’ll place her on your lap; then I’ll get down and take you both back to the car,” he heaved with seriousness.


“Let’s ease her down, Dayle…” CC was nearly in tears as Hy tenderly spoke to Dayle. “Damned, if we aren’t a bunch of nitwits constantly falling and bumbling around in the universe… I wish I knew the magic words that kept the ‘Klutz Fairy’ away for awhile, but I could use those bickering angels at a time like this” bellowed CC with searing righteousness that was only trumped by Hiz godly anger!

Carefully, CC laid her to rest on the blankets that Dayle had arranged on the back seat of the truck. Placing a pillow under her head and surrounding her with four warm blankets, CC gently kissed her mouth and nibbled on every part of her precious face. Tears welled up in Hiz eyes. How the fuck was he to know that the train would derail and ruin the most romantic night Hy had ever planned yet for them? Coming to grips with the force of Hiz own constrained arrogance, CC willed Hymself to ride Sweet Pea with bravery and act quickly to save her and Hiz friends that risked (just about everything) for Hiz happiness. Hy helped Dayle off Sweet Pea and gave Dayle a part of Hiz ration of food that Hy kept in the saddle bags for emergencies. CC took out a flare, some matches and a tiny mirror and handed them to Dayle.

“This will have to do until I get back. I’ll go fetch any other blankets I can find for you Dayle and then I’ll move with the winds and fetch the help we need. There’s an old farm stead up the way a piece and I’ll go see if there is a phone or anyone who can summon more help for us. Use the flare in case of an emergency: like if the land starts to move or the train snaps off the rails and accidentally makes contact with the vehicle that could place all of you at risk of going over the edge. When all this is said and done, I’ll make it up to you Dayle: And I want to tell you that I know of no one else that I’d rather have stand as my best “man” at my wedding than you. You’ve always had my back and been my best friend – even when the chips are down and the royal flush threatens to spank my financial hide!”
Just then, it started to snow. Flakes were gently piercing the foggy mass of air that hovered above them. “There’s no time to lose” muttered CC and Hy mounted Sweet Pea and headed for the farm that Hy knew to be not more than 3 miles away.

Slowly, Dayle got back in the vehicle and took a blanket in order to help him regain some body warmth. Resting Hys head on the bent steering wheel for a moment, Hy quickly uttered a silent prayer of safety for them all; as it all seemed so overwhelming, the sudden turn of events. Over and over, in Hys mind, Dayle was doing what CC had been doing earlier – wondering how the fuck something like this could have happened. Weren’t they all just having the times of their lives? Was not the supper and dance at CC’z just the bomb? Didn’t they have the best hair-brained idea ever to plan all these fake incidents that were supposed to lead to a formal proposal of marriage – the marriage of the century, meant for two of the most wonderful people in the world?

Meanwhile, the falling snowflakes were becoming bigger and the fog was silently deepening around them in the mangled vehicle. Ever once in a while the train wreckage moaned and made eerie noises – as if a sinking ship were making the same creek-like noises on the sea.

Not far off though, CC and Sweet Pea were making time up the steep terrain of the canyon they had just descended from. It was a good thing that CC had thrown his leather jacket over her shoulders when they left the barn on the ranch. It was getting so cold and with the snow coming down, the air was becoming a frigid adversary as one could see exhalations coming from both CC and Sweet Peas’ nostrils.
“Hiiiii, Hiiiiiii-ja” bellowed CC as he cropped Sweet Pea to pick up speed. Sweet Pea whinnied back in agony under the blunt force of CCs overwhelming need to get there, yesterday! Sweet Pea dug her hooves into the earth and willed her strong muscles to carry CC up the hillside.

At that moment, Sweet Pea sensed something from afar – something that didn’t even register on CCs radar, which was usually impeccable -perfected by a finely tuned pitch. Sweet Pea reared under CC with such trembling ferocity, that is was all CC could do to remain balanced. Sweet Pea raged and reared and spun them in circles, but not without CC having seen the terrifying shadow: The shadow of a Grizzly Bear!

Seizing Sweet Peas’ reigns, CC acted with military precision, as if in battle. “HAWWWWW” CC bellowed, changing their course of direction! Instantly, Sweet Pea and CC raced in the direction which would keep them to the farm nearby. “Holy FUCK” shouted CC in his mind, as Hiz heart raced with terror! It seemed as though this would have killed any other human being! At a dead-bolt racing gait, Sweet Pea instinctively sped as if running for her life – and she was at that, as well as CC!!! Deeper and deeper into the heavily timbered landscape, they rode for their lives hoping that the Grizzly had been an apparition, but sadly they knew different.

It was just about then when legions of invisible beings protected them, and those left at the scene of the train wreck, from what would come next…


~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~




Dearest Diary of mine in Blue:

What we all need now is love, sweet love.

Until then,
I’m Faithfully Yours

[Kätzchen]

It had been months, since that day on the train that wrecked in the canyon along the coast line. Up on the Green Springs Plateau, along the beautiful creek that passed though CC’s property sat all four of them on a blanket – sharing southern friend chicken, German potato salad, and waiting to slice into the freshly baked apple pie made the night before.

“Darling?” she asked politely, with a sly smile on her lips and her voice drenched in a lovely musical melodic tone. “I don’t remember much of what happened that day, outside what the nurses told me in the hospital. I always wondered what became of the Grizzly that stalked you and Sweet Pea… and Nikita? How was it that you and Dayle got back to safety?”

Pouring some ice cold German beer for all of them, CC burst out in chuckles: “Hon, it’s so hard to explain but I’ll try,” as CC passed the cups to all of them!

“You see, when I was speeding away like a bullet on Sweet Pea we made it to the farm nearby and called for help. As it was, a State Trooper happened to be near the vicinity and had picked up the urgent call from the Train Conductor. Before he sped to the scene of the accident, he came to the farm and picked me up and we both raced back to the accident with many others who heard that call too. When we got there, all of you were seemingly fast asleep, but we packed you all up and then got others out to safety. Amazingly – no one was lost in the sprawling wreckage and interestingly enough, not long after everyone was transported back to the hospital for evaluations and medical assistance, the Rail Road was there to take care of all the wrecked cars and the locomotive that rested precariously on the other side of the bridge. The owners of the farm that I went to, took the time to care for Sweet Pea and took her home to the barn and brushed her down and after feeding all the animals and checking to make sure plenty of fresh water was available for the cattle, they radioed back to the sheriff to make arrangements for the property to be cared for while I sat with you all in the recovery room,” CC mused as he leaned over to kiss his new bride on her lips.

“ummmmmmm,” she moaned as CC kissed her mouth. “Hon, when you do that my temperature rises to high that I feel like I’m on fire!” Her lashes veiled her eyes and she blushed with deep crimson reds at his touch. “Prost, to you Dear,” as they all raised their cups in mutual adoration for CC and his bravery that saved the day!

Dayle leaned over to kiss Nikita as they sat eating and sipping on the ice cold beer. Anyone watching this intimate moment being shared by close friends (such as they were), felt complete admiration for them all as one knows, when trouble happens, it’s a good day in Paradise when one can escape irreparable harm.

“CC” began Dayle, “Nikita and I have wonderful news to share with you both, don’t we dear,” said Dayle smiling that smile to Nikita!

“Ja,” winked Nikita, back to Dayle!

“When you both got married down by the Gazebo, on your property, a few weeks ago, Nikita and I talked about tying the knot; and her parents invited us to spend our honeymoon in Austria and take residence there if we wanted to stay on!”

“OH MY!” she exclaimed with bright eyes, while looking at CC! “I’m so happy for you that you are getting married,” she said as tears began to fall gently down her face. Looking to CC, with her eyes in that certain way, her gaze returned to Dayle and Nikita and she said, “When are you getting married? Do you need help? What will we do when you’re both gone?”

CC snuggle shuffled on the blanket closer to his bride and wrapped a lone arm around her waist and gently snuggled her ear with a loving nip. Catching her by surprise, they both fell backwards onto the blanket and fell into a deep embrace with a long stormy, deeply held kiss – and when they gazed into each others eyes, they realized something about losing their two best friends, if they chose to stay in Austria! With eyes huge as saucers, and having the remarkable ability to read each others mind, they both got ahold of themselves and immediately regained composure and asked in unison:

“When are you doing this?” they both chimed in together, as the soft wind coming from the creek carried their remarks with an echo.

Amazingly, Dayle and Nikita, answered in unison: “Next month! We felt that since CC’s original wedding plan date was moved up, due to the accident on the train, that we better make haste and follow suit!”

“That’s the BOMB!” she shouted with glee! Looking at CC, she had this ability to secretly signal that they needed to scrape up some rainy-day money and take some time to meet their parents and be there for their wedding – standing in as best friends to the couple!

“What ever you need Dayle,” CC drawled in his deep Germanic accent, like the expert brooder he was, “We’ll help you orchestrate it all and make sure that details are attended too properly.”

Time has passed so beautifully, that afternoon. All of them played with frolic near the river and the horses (and of course Sweet Pea) perked their ears, as if sensing an intrusion in the air. Of course, because both couples were experiencing magical energy from the wonderful get together on the river, they never thought to keep an ear perked for the horses.

It was about that time of the evening, when she had already stripped off her clothes and dove into the secret pool that CC and her were sharing on the river that CC took his shirt and jeans off, and standing there in all his buck-naked glory, that he dove into the pool and chased his sexy sweetie in the water. They both floated on their backs and were holding hands and observing the last rays of a wonderful sunset and stars peeking out of the heavens. Floating out of the current and into the safe harbor of the pool, CC slid up behind her and wrapped his arms around her and fondled her breasts and manipulated her cresting nipples – begging to be sucked and nursed on.

“I want you now,” CC moaned gently into her ears and kissed his way gently to her mouth – taking her into a deep kiss and communicating that he required an immediate need to be dealt with. Looking at his eyes and signaling the answer, she guided his cock to her garden and immediately the “dance” began, that seemingly lasted for hours: heaving moans, whispering sweet notions to each other, and pleasuring each other with their bodies’ heat – which was now on fire!

Not their bodies, mind you – but the FOREST!

Hearing Dayle and Nikita’s screaming the alert, both of them climaxed at once and looked at each other with knowing minds – but only CC has this to say:

“Baby, you always light my fire! But did you have to light the forest on fire, too???”

Looking at her loving husbutch, with eyes that only a femme can produce, she exclaimed: “Sweetheart? This is no time to make a joke out of something this urgent. For all we know that cattle are running amok, the house might be on fire and what about my car, Jezebel???” she looked at CC, with her own version of brooding eyes!

Lifting her out of the water and hurrying to put their clothes on and find Sweet Pea and meet up with Dayle and Nikita, it was about then that the darling klutz fairy arrived in all their glory…. And with a huge splash, she fell into the water and was carried off by the current screaming, “CC, help me, help me, help me, help me!”

And with that, CC dove into the water with all of his clothes on and raced to rescue her as she was being carried away by the rushing current to the falls that stretched and flowed magically over a 50 ft cliff…

~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~

Dearest Diary,

Life is still changing by the moment; challenges abound; and still life keeps on evolving to new frontiers for me. If you can, and if you still hear my hearts' desire, send me a miracle - as surely, a woman like me deserves this bit of help as I climb the ‘stairway to heaven.’

From my heart of hearts,
Faithfully, I'm yours.

[Kätzchen]

My dearest Diary,

on the eve of the biggest change in my life that I've yet to even embark on, I wanted to leave my thoughts as I travel on my journey to who-knows-where: so today, I leave a poem marking this transition.
Until then,
Yours Truly.

Crucible

I hear your gurgling:
the daring transition which brings pain
from the walls of this prison
I welcome your stain.

marking those things which must change:
family betrayal
social and cultural hegemony
fascist regimes
opportunistic gratification temptations
raging egos out of control
tempered with humility
exacted compassion
internally and externally
working class people with the blues
-versus-
the ideologically coercive bourgeoisie.

Rising as an Gramescian-Marxist intellectual,
organically grown,
amid my trans-racial, sexually-minoritized standpoint,
I proclaim:

Your hegemonic controls are powerless
when juxtaposed against our collective experience:
When the smoke settles from the flames of the crucible,
our empowerment will prevail!

We rise, as called by the Bodhisattva of the Universe!
Oh, Crucible:
We welcome your change!

[Kätzchen]

Dearest Diary,

Lately I've been (as others have too) contemplating on what's been happening on the American Finance scene, as well as other factors contributing to conditions across the socio-cultural landscape of America. It's hard to carry on an erotic story when you see the world imploding around you: the stakes are high, all bets are off, and the one thing I keep coming back to is the thought that while Americans were busy buying into the culture of consumerism, larger acts of criminality were happening right under our noses. I suppose, like many, we do buy into the idea that in order to perpetuate the cycle of finance (spend money to make money), sometimes one loses a certain perspective concerning how things have spun out of control. I wrote this poem and while it might just be only my thoughts and feelings about what I see, I know that there are many others who are now seriously questioning just what really has happened – where many now sit on the stage of global finance. With the credibility of American institutions blown -- institutions run by those in power -- it's not a far fetched idea to imagine just who orchestrated our latest "fall from grace."

I'm a Labor Democrat by choice: so in this poem when I characterize our latest sordid social mess, I use the word "blow." This term connotes/epitomizes our current governmental administration which has been controlled by Bush II and those who support tainted politics (which, to me, during my personal observations over the last 40+ years began with McCarthy-ism, Nixon, Johnson, Reagan, Bush I and the list goes on); which does not represent what I value nor what I wish for myself or others; nor are the officials in charge worthy of having been given such power to administrate American society. *** (see revision of notes below)

Of course, as with all the poetic thoughts I dare to write, readers may (or may not) completely identify with my strange arrangement of thoughts. So, without further adieu, here is my poem of the hour:



Death Culture: an Amerikan Zeitgeist

In the beginning (from a to z)
We all believed in a proclamation
Telling us how to be free:

The culture of hunger –
Longing for food, any food will do;
Probing empty garbage cans for remains hardly edible
Emaciated rib cages sharing a loo;
Flushing waste down a drain
Only to be filled with toxins --
This infested everyone’s brain.

The culture of complacent identity –
Resting upon improperly drained fields;
Fields not spun of gold,
But merely breeding more mold;
Growing neon green with jealousy,
Fueling rage filled hate;
Consumption was the by-word of those who unleashed
The “Free Market” gate:

This gate, led to co-operated greed --
Muzzled voices squelched by the speed;
The speed of a society,
Valuing corrupt populist need;
Wallowing in a cesspool made (no allowed) by:
“Make no mistake, I’ve got your cake”
As Lucifer, the angel of disguise,
Convoluted his prize,
The prize of a culture led astray
Testified to a pirahnaized frenzy in dry, dry hay.

*BOOM*

“Look! I see an Amerikan Zeitgeist!”
Came strange echoes from a shrouded past.
Civilization trounced in the name of absolute unchecked power;
Legions of tormented egos came screeching from its broken mast:
The Mast of a once renowned dream of liberty,
Fettered by fake visions of freedom,
All in the name of society, culture, race, sex and gender:
Look at us now – we’re in a zealots’ blender!

All politics aside
They’re tickets to the world’s greatest show –
The Amerikan Zeitgeist: a Horror Show
Directed and produced by those hooked on “blow.”


*** (revised notes): Very little has changed, politically, since the election year of 2008.

[Kätzchen]

Minutes, hours, days, seemingly weeks passed by. Faint memories of the cascading water falls; the plunging, treacherous depths of water; the gurgling dissonance as it ascended to the surface of the river; having tumbled together over the edge and even now, a certain knowing etched into memory concerning a particular “head shot.”

Depending on how one interprets an etymological approach to linguistics, the term “head shot” might be known as none other than a subliminal boxing move. However, far off in the distance (known as Venus on Fire) the term “head shot” is known to be an artistic language expression known as a “let me correct your malformed intelligence to understand that you cannot construe innocent pleasures to mean something other than what was intended” type of definition.

Now for Femmes, whose universe resides in the construct of Venus on Fire, this entails a certain level of sacred ire: Femmes who delight in being independent and have ways of addressing certain inequities, with our creative use of known verbiage, are not always accustomed to being assaulted with passive-aggressive notions: we do as we do, with the idea being that we solve life’s problems in fruitful ways – even if this means banging out chronically rusted roller balls on the bottoms of chairs or swearing in our polite little female ways those particular cuss words that are aimed directly at the object of our resistance; which in this case, turned out to be an extremely zealous, opportunistic, feline disease which infested a particular hegemonically controlled wench, known as another worker, who felt disempowered by those who completely, and might I add, righteously adored another member from the planet, Venus on Fire!

Now, of course, unless you are a member from the planet Mars Torn Asunder,Femmes from the universe Venus on Firecompletely understand this line of logic; which is underpinned by the newest (scientifically, of course) ideological approach called “Melt your Panty’s and Boxer’s off” Feminism!Of course, the main idea behind this brand new approach is to meld all the game rules to Pythagorean Theory and the letter “e ” so that all results are stilted and complexly convoluted to mean nothing more that the quotient of “the number element of the result of dividing one number by another;” which neatly adds up to the significant numerical value of “Zero Sum.” (Please bear in mind that when creating an egalitarian society, one must be committed to deconstructing all results previously known to Venus on Fire and Mars Torn Asunder by promptly administering the brand new construct of “Melt your Panty’s and Boxer’s off” Feminism.)


You, the reader, might be asking yourself, right now, “why on earth is this so important?”



It’s because . . .

A member of Venus on Fire (a Femme)dared to confide exuberantly all her life woes to another member from Mars Torn Asunder (a TG Butch) – which conveniently landed both of them in bubbling, effervescent waters (otherwise known as a punishing, private hell). To wit, they both lost their ability to effectively communicate that: a) Femme from Venus on Fire misses the fuck out of a TG Butch member from Mars Torn Asunder; b) rules to the new ideological approach called “Melt your Panty’s and Boxer’s off” Feminism are operational and fully functioning; and c) that all past sins have been drop-kicked appropriately to another galaxy without breaking any known rules of piracy or other deviant forms of offensive transgressions.

In short:

I stand here completely naked – without my Baby Blue, Baby doll, sexy nightie showing off my abundant nipples needing expertly applied Doctoral supplicant theory – to seek humble forgiveness of said transgressions related to exerting a “head shot” which was garbled and warped by speeds exceeding known velocities in French, German, Spanish or English (to include all other not known forms of communication, as well); and that I plead the Venus on Firecode of Femme Conduct and squeal… “UNKLE” … hopefully, in an understandable version of the hardly known language to me called Mars Torn Asunder!

Additionally:

Various forms of erotica may (or may not) play melodically from this side of paradise as it seems that the Great Pumpkin of my Skies has been conveniently (or inconveniently) illuminating from some far off place (probably past Jupiter) which, without my Venus on Fire paraphernalia (to include binoculars, blue sparkles, sexy diversionary tactics manual, etc) has been hijacked by certain mafia monkeys (cousins, no doubt, to KING LOUIE) and I cannot see worth a hoot to find them! Please release me from this heinous bondage and commence to guide and direct me in what ever fashion you have reserved for a beautiful Kitty Queen (Me) as I am jonesing for more than just tête-à-têtes via our normal manner of communication . . .



Dearest Diary,

Erotically (and so much more than that)

Yours,
*mieeez mieeez*