FTM's Attracted to Femmes

[1ladyface]

Hi Softbutch4U, it's true, femmes who like FTMs do exist. I have to say it seems to me that a lot of FTMs do date other FTMs so it's always reassuring to me as a femme to hear that there are FTMs who still like the b/f dynamic. Cause sometimes y'all seem elusive like super sexy unicorns.

Originally Posted by ~Softbutch4U~

Hi.. I read some threads from yall. For myself... very attracted to femmes. Some butches attracted me and Im not interestin in butches. I realized some femmes attracted FTM that i didnt know cuz couple yrs ago I told 3 of my friends that I wanted to b FTM but I was so afraid that femmes, friends or my families wont accept me for what i am. I love my family very much. I should have to do it couple yrs ago. Thanks to 2 of friends from BFP (Kent and Princess). It made me realize abt FTM. I should do it years ago (D'oh).

[~Softbutch4U~]

Hi, 1Ladyface, I never knew FTM do date other FTM.. I think its weird but really interesting. Labor wkend in MN for mini bash.. First time I met FTM from B-F. And I looked at him and I was thinkin in my mind say.. Wow, Sure its look so much like a man. I know I met some MTFs before.

[AtLast]

I think that like every other population in the world, individuals are attracted to they simply are attracted to. Yes, data (as it stands presently), shows that many FtM's have relationships with one another as well as with butches (and some butches like other butches best). some of this makes sense when biological studies are considered about gay me and testosterone levels- they are higher than heterosexual men in significant values.

However, why wouldn't some FtM's be mainly attracted to femmes, too? Personally, I don't think that there is enough sound or replicated (which leads to the actual scientific validity of most of the variables involved here to make generalizations about. I certainly know fully transitioned FtM's that are straight (desiring femmes as well as other women), gay and bisexual. I have just never been willing to make any generalizations based upon my own subjective observations and like I said, this whole area of study just doesn't have a very long history of scientific data to consider. It always feels like so many conclusions are drawn about transpeople anyway without research, reading material available, or unfortunately, based upon bigotry/bias- even within the queer community.

I know it is difficult sometimes to "get" why let's say, a butch prefers other butches (I have often just not understood this myself) just because one is a butch that is totally attracted to femmes. Same applies to FtM's sometimes. But, haven't we all been quite puzzled by human attraction at times? From not being able to figure out why 2 people are even with each other? Who knows! hell, there have been times post dating someone and wondered "what was I thinking?"

In these types of discussions, I always fear assumptions or generalizations about people that are just not based upon fact- or that are based upon stereotypes, transphobia or just plain lack of information.

[1ladyface]

"But, haven't we all been quite puzzled by human attraction at times? From not being able to figure out why 2 people are even with each other? Who knows! hell, there have been times post dating someone and wondered "what was I thinking?""

Hi Atlast,

It is mysterious. I frequently wonder why I'm so very drawn to FTM id'ed folks and not even a little bit attracted to cisdudes. But when you've had cock that's always hard and that can be whatever size, shape and color you want...why take your chances with a messy fleshy thing that could get you pregnant and give you terrible diseases?

Oh. I think I've answered my own question. Maybe (in my case) it isn't so mysterious.

[ScandalAndy]

Wow! There's a lot going on in this thread...

Personally, I struggle with my feminine presentation because I am often not recognized as a queer woman. Apparently I am too femme to be gay/queer or I am thought to be a "fag hag" (i really hate that term).

I love masculinity, and that is a major quality I am looking for in a partner. That's why I am attracted to butches and FTMs. In my geographical area, though, most trans folks are dating other trans folks or those who are reinterpreting their gender/abandoning the concept of gender altogether.

It boggles my mind that there appears to be a certain "look" that is attractive to the trans community here, and I am not it.

I'm grateful for this thread, though. I feel like I am learning a lot about other people/areas and how interpretations of masculinity and femininity are different, and affect people in different ways.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

"But, haven't we all been quite puzzled by human attraction at times? From not being able to figure out why 2 people are even with each other? Who knows! hell, there have been times post dating someone and wondered "what was I thinking?""

Hi Atlast,

It is mysterious. I frequently wonder why I'm so very drawn to FTM id'ed folks and not even a little bit attracted to cisdudes. But when you've had cock that's always hard and that can be whatever size, shape and color you want...why take your chances with a messy fleshy thing that could get you pregnant and give you terrible diseases?

Oh. I think I've answered my own question. Maybe (in my case) it isn't so mysterious.

FYI 1ladyface, even in a *butch/ftm* sexual encounter one can contract sexually transmitted diseases, it's not just with biological dudes, unprotected sex of ANY kind be it gay, trans, straight, bi will pass on STD's if you aren't using protection.


We (queers) are not immune to STD's.

[1ladyface]

Thank you lady snow. I'm aware of that. I suppose i should have just said STI risk is greatly increased when you sleep with cisdudes.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

FYI 1ladyface, even in a *butch/ftm* sexual encounter one can contract sexually transmitted diseases, it's not just with biological dudes, unprotected sex of ANY kind be it gay, trans, straight, bi will pass on STD's if you aren't using protection.


We (queers) are not immune to STD's.

No, we are not! And thank you for pointing this out- let's all be safer and use common sense.. and always be prepared! LOL, ya' nevah' know what could happen, even with this old butch!

And, yes, I find what attraction can culminate in very mysterious some times.

[1ladyface]

Hi All,

I mentioned last week that my good friend and ex (a transman) will be blogging about his experiences in jail. The first entry was posted today.

originalplumbing.com

I have to say, I think of the OP community as really warm and supportive, but there have so far been some dumb assumptions and less-then-supportive comments which are upsetting to me. Not sure what my role is in this because I want Inmate 12004 to be able to respond himself but it's so hard not to jump in and just say "dammit, be nice." sigh. I guess I'm just feeling protective of him since I know he's in a vulnerable position. Anyway, I think the blog and the comment thread are worth reading.

lots of love to this warm supportive community,

a somewhat saddened ladyface

[FtMGuy]

Originally Posted by 1ladyface

Hi Softbutch4U, it's true, femmes who like FTMs do exist. I have to say it seems to me that a lot of FTMs do date other FTMs so it's always reassuring to me as a femme to hear that there are FTMs who still like the b/f dynamic. Cause sometimes y'all seem elusive like super sexy unicorns.

I love it!! super sexy unicorns!!
I am searching high and low for the perfect femme for me! I am not quite ready for a relationship yet but dating would be nice, just dont seem to be any femmes around where I live that date a guy like me but it could happen, BFP Reunion here I come!!

[Nadeest]

"...I began transition almost 6 years ago and, believe it or not, things are still in transition for me, on some levels. I think it is a continuing process for a lot of us, particularly me, as I was in my mid 40's when I started T and had my top surgery...." theodzz


I think theodzz is right. We don't ever really finish transitioning, in a lot of ways. Mind you, our second puberty takes a lot less time to go thru, mentally, then our first one, but still. We just don't, and probably never will have the same amount of emotional and social experience that other people of our age and gender have. Mind you, we grow up fast, but still, I don't think that we ever fully grow up. We are just starting from too far behind to be able to catch up fully, especially those of us who start transition in our later years.

[ManOMan]

For Me
I'm attracted to the feminine end of the spectrum. Please note I did not say female. I have found some ftm and 'cis' males to be very attractive. They are ones that are of the feminine persuasion, but I haven't actually been with a 'male' person in many, many, many years (oy).

I am also one of those guys that can't tell when a woman is hitting on me, I've been with female friends that have told me that women were flirting with me and I've been completely clueless. (Sigh)

For the 'old fashion' femmes here that don't want to make the first move: please don't assume that just because I haven't hit on you that it's because I don't like you. It's way more likely that I'm shy and clueless, BUT once I get the hint, it's on like donkey kong!

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by ManOMan

For Me
I'm attracted to the feminine end of the spectrum. Please note I did not say female. I have found some ftm and 'cis' males to be very attractive. They are ones that are of the feminine persuasion, but I haven't actually been with a 'male' person in many, many, many years (oy).

I am also one of those guys that can't tell when a woman is hitting on me, I've been with female friends that have told me that women were flirting with me and I've been completely clueless. (Sigh)

For the 'old fashion' femmes here that don't want to make the first move: please don't assume that just because I haven't hit on you that it's because I don't like you. It's way more likely that I'm shy and clueless, BUT once I get the hint, it's on like donkey kong!

Hmmm ..... well I think u have a cute banana..

[Hominid]

Hello All -

New guy here - into "femmes" with a broad definition of what that means. Women who identify as women, girly, tomboyish - more important is intelligence, living a life of meaning, good spelling ("your" when one means "you're" is driving me batshit) and I like trim to curvy women. I also am not so into the "princess" thing, although my relationships always end up being Daddy/girl on some level, and I usually end up pussy whipped if I am well-loved.

Nice to read through the posts and "meet" everyone.

[Leigh]

Welcome to the Planet Hominid, feel free to say hi sometime