VANILLA THREAD Who can initiate sex in your relationship? VANILLA THREAD

iamkeri1 · 02-07-2012, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

My first r/s was all about great communication and so we both freely initiated.
I'm sad, (embarrassed too) to say that I'm recently out of a r/s where I was always shut down, it really is tough on your self-esteem

I shoulda known the first time she wiped my lipstick off her mouth that I was in the wrong r/s, live and learn, eh?

Oh, did I say I have a healthy sex drive and am totally open to either person and unless i had a fever of umm 106, id never turn you down, LOL

Excuse me ... ahem! I would like to ask a question. I hate to admit I don't know what it means, but, oh well, I don't know what it is. What does r/s mean?
Smooches,
Keri

Gráinne · 02-07-2012, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamkeri1

Excuse me ... ahem! I would like to ask a question. I hate to admit I don't know what it means, but, oh well, I don't know what it is. What does r/s mean?
Smooches,
Keri

I think, relationship. I had the same question.

midwest chick · 02-07-2012, 12:31 AM

I'm one of those people that can express it without words...

I kiss the neck, run my fingers through the hair, and sigh while stretching, and FEEL it run through my body...if you have any intelligence or thought at all, you know what I want when I run my nipples up your back, and thrust my hips onto any available body part.

I've had lovers that were totally still when I did this, not because they wanted me to stop, but because they wanted more, but couldn't express it, and this bothered me. How could I tell what was pleasing to them, without verbally asking? They thought that to show desire was to show weakness, but when I show my desire, I think of it as a strength. We are all different(YAY) but similar, and all have some fear or baggage. I refuse to hide desire when I feel it for someone special, but will joke about it with a more casual relationship.

Do I want to initiate all the time----HELL to the NO! I want to feel desired, adored, cherished, loved, and even lusted after....and I want hym to feel that too, so I crave the moments when my neck is kissed in just the perfect way, hys voice drops to that growl, and hys hands tell me that it's time.

Verbally? I can say I want you, let's take a nap, or I want you, and not feel any negatives, but I can, and have said "doesn't matter, I brought my vibrator"

I prefer a 50/50, or 60/40, or 70/30, depending on day situation and time....flexibility is hotter, and sexier, than always the same.

Just sayin'....

both should show desire

AtLast · 02-07-2012, 06:32 AM

Either one in any manner chosen.

LipstickLola · 02-07-2012, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamkeri1

Excuse me ... ahem! I would like to ask a question. I hate to admit I don't know what it means, but, oh well, I don't know what it is. What does r/s mean?
Smooches,
Keri

ohhh I sowwy

r/s=relationship
My apologies

AlexHunter · 03-02-2012, 03:09 AM

I am butch/genderqueer and I prefer when either partner initiates sex.

I will try to initiate sex when I'm turned on, but I would start to question my desirability and appeal to my partner if I was the one to initiate every time. There isn't much sexier to me than a hot femme showing me how much she wants me. At the same time, I have my moments where I am feeling devilish and scandalous beyond words and want to completely ravage my partner. So, both people initiating just makes sense.

Breathless · 03-02-2012, 04:15 AM

I am femme, and I have to say that I need it to be initiated by both partners.
I have a very high sex drive, in a previous relationship, I was the one who had to initiate all the time, and I began to feel resentful because of that. I was told no more often then yes. It begins to feel like you are trying to talk your lover into wanting you. Just not good.

However I do enjoy the initation And honestly, if I not in the mood at that second, give me a minute, if my partner is in the mood, I could never deny them affection and some good lovin

03-02-2012, 03:09 AM	#6
AlexHunter Member How Do You Identify?: With a greeting and a handshake, typically Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 150 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 469 Thanked 455 Times in 49 Posts Rep Power: 6000594	I am butch/genderqueer and I prefer when either partner initiates sex. I will try to initiate sex when I'm turned on, but I would start to question my desirability and appeal to my partner if I was the one to initiate every time. There isn't much sexier to me than a hot femme showing me how much she wants me. At the same time, I have my moments where I am feeling devilish and scandalous beyond words and want to completely ravage my partner. So, both people initiating just makes sense. __________________ Speak your mind even if your voice shakes. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde

03-02-2012, 04:15 AM	#7
Breathless Brat Extraordinaire How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Happy Tournaments Won: 23 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Alberta Canada Posts: 1,412 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,549 Thanked 4,098 Times in 958 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I am femme, and I have to say that I need it to be initiated by both partners. I have a very high sex drive, in a previous relationship, I was the one who had to initiate all the time, and I began to feel resentful because of that. I was told no more often then yes. It begins to feel like you are trying to talk your lover into wanting you. Just not good. However I do enjoy the initation And honestly, if I not in the mood at that second, give me a minute, if my partner is in the mood, I could never deny them affection and some good lovin __________________ *BE the change you wish to see in the world. Gandhi*

02-07-2012, 12:31 AM	#3
midwest chick Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: here. Posts: 398 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,201 Thanked 1,678 Times in 338 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I'm one of those people that can express it without words... I kiss the neck, run my fingers through the hair, and sigh while stretching, and FEEL it run through my body...if you have any intelligence or thought at all, you know what I want when I run my nipples up your back, and thrust my hips onto any available body part. I've had lovers that were totally still when I did this, not because they wanted me to stop, but because they wanted more, but couldn't express it, and this bothered me. How could I tell what was pleasing to them, without verbally asking? They thought that to show desire was to show weakness, but when I show my desire, I think of it as a strength. We are all different(YAY) but similar, and all have some fear or baggage. I refuse to hide desire when I feel it for someone special, but will joke about it with a more casual relationship. Do I want to initiate all the time----HELL to the NO! I want to feel desired, adored, cherished, loved, and even lusted after....and I want hym to feel that too, so I crave the moments when my neck is kissed in just the perfect way, hys voice drops to that growl, and hys hands tell me that it's time. Verbally? I can say I want you, let's take a nap, or I want you, and not feel any negatives, but I can, and have said "doesn't matter, I brought my vibrator" I prefer a 50/50, or 60/40, or 70/30, depending on day situation and time....flexibility is hotter, and sexier, than always the same. Just sayin'.... both should show desire

02-07-2012, 06:32 AM	#4
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Either one in any manner chosen.