Cynthia Nixon says she's gay by 'choice.' Is it really a choice?

[Vlasta]

Thank you for your reply's and I didn't expected that someone would agree with me . I knew since nobody would risk to be unpopular with they friends and I agree with me .

Yes , I am biased and I will not denied that. There are millions gay people rightfully fighting for the equal rights , they have been together for many years and not getting nowhere . Sad situation , but true .

On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not .

and to Snow , I hate pedophiles and I am just grateful that my son has been strong enough to overcome this situation and as a loving child kept that from me , because I wouldn't be posting here , I would be in a prison .

It's ok to be bisexual , but be honest and not living a double life .

[The_Lady_Snow]

Yanno Vlasta I'm not going to disagree with someone's opinion because it's gonna keep my homies "happy". I DON'T agree with what you stated because it was a sweeping generalization of members in this community. I wanted to clarify that particular detail....

[Softhearted]

Since when living a double life is linked to being bisexual?!??????

[Vlasta]

I am not going to debate any longer on this thread , I am done with it . I made myself clear how I feel . I lived through a very bad situation. I am not the one that you come home to me with a sperm from whoever you had sex with .

I am done , have a good night .

[JustJo]

Thank you Vlasta for coming back into the thread and telling your story and where your point of view comes from. I know that had to be difficult, and I appreciate you having the courage to do that.

I can also understand how your experiences with this partner, especially when it came to what she did to your son, can create bitterness...even though it was the individual that hurt you, and not others who may also identify as bisexual.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Vlasta

On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not .

Wow. You know, I always thought that things like "the religious right" and "conservatism" and "general fear mongering hogwash" was the reason that we don't have equal rights in many countries.

I mean, come on. BISEXUALS are the reason you don't have equal rights? Really?

[betenoire]

And you know. While I'm real sorry you had a bad experience with someone who happened to be bisexual...I'm gonna tell you a story.

My dad used to be a trucker in the 80s. I used to travel with him a great deal of the time when I wasn't in school. This one time we were at a rest stop in Michigan when a man with a knife came up to us. He stole my dad's wallet and scared the shit out of us both.

Now, the dude at the rest stop happened to be Black. Given that one bad experience does my father (and me too) have a pass to shit-talk Black people? Would it be acceptable for my father to say "I don't have a problem with Black people so long as they don't steal wallets"? Of course not. Even though my dad had a bad experience once that would STILL be a bigoted thing to say because 1 - any time you say "I don't have a problem with ____" you obviously DO have a problem with ____. and 2 - it gives the impression that stealing wallets is a "Black thing" to do and any Black person who doesn't steal wallets is the exception to the rule.

so when you say:

It's ok to be bisexual , but be honest and not living a double life .

It's clear that you don't think it's okay to be bisexual, and that you think there is a positive correlation between bisexuality and living a dishonest double life.

I am not the exception to the rule. Your ex is not the rule. There just IS no rule.

Just like there is no "rule" to lesbians or heterosexuals.

[SnackTime]

Originally Posted by betenoire

I mean, come on. BISEXUALS are the reason you don't have equal rights? Really?

I do not see anywhere in her posts where she has stated this.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by SnackTime

I do not see anywhere in her posts where she has stated this.

Yes , I am biased and I will not denied that. There are millions gay people rightfully fighting for the equal rights , they have been together for many years and not getting nowhere . Sad situation , but true .

On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not .

Maybe it was actually a non sequitur, but I was crediting her post for following a cohesive train of thought.

Best case scenario she said that bisexuals are the reason that heterosexuals think of us all as freaks. BEST case scenario.

[Toughy]

I'm wondering if there is something in the TOS about this kind of nastiness directed at bisexuals....bisexual phobia should not be acceptable on this website.

Replace 'bisexual' with ohhhh say 'black' or 'mexican' or __________ and shit would hit the fan.

[Sparx1_1]

Originally Posted by betenoire

Maybe it was actually a non sequitur, but I was crediting her post for following a cohesive train of thought.

Best case scenario she said that bisexuals are the reason that heterosexuals think of us all as freaks. BEST case scenario.

The reality is that for some heterosexuals that is a very correct assessment of how they think and feel. We are all affected by our experiences and unfortunately vlasta has had an incredibly negative experience. Even more unfortunate is that there are people in our community who have the same opinions yet have never had a bad experience.
All vlasta has done is been honest about how her experiences have affected her. Rage filled responses will only guarantee that her opinion and the opinions of people with similar ideas will never change.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Sparx1_1

Rage filled responses will only guarantee that her opinion and the opinions of people with similar ideas will never change.

You've got an interesting definition of rage.

Originally Posted by Semantics

I also want to say that you weren't infected with a disease because your partner was bisexual, you were exposed because your partner was unfaithful and a cheater. Despite what many believe, exclusively lesbian women contract and transmit STD's among themselves all the time.

I don't judge you. I believe that you're entitled to your opinion, I just disagree with it because I believe it harms the bisexuals in our community.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

We've all been hurt it still DOES NOT give us the right to make broad generalizations about a group of people..

Originally Posted by Softhearted

Since when living a double life is linked to being bisexual?!??????

Originally Posted by betenoire

Wow. You know, I always thought that things like "the religious right" and "conservatism" and "general fear mongering hogwash" was the reason that we don't have equal rights in many countries.

I mean, come on. BISEXUALS are the reason you don't have equal rights? Really?

Originally Posted by betenoire

It's clear that you don't think it's okay to be bisexual, and that you think there is a positive correlation between bisexuality and living a dishonest double life.

I am not the exception to the rule. Your ex is not the rule. There just IS no rule.

Just like there is no "rule" to lesbians or heterosexuals.

Originally Posted by betenoire

Best case scenario she said that bisexuals are the reason that heterosexuals think of us all as freaks. BEST case scenario.

Originally Posted by Toughy

I'm wondering if there is something in the TOS about this kind of nastiness directed at bisexuals....bisexual phobia should not be acceptable on this website.

Replace 'bisexual' with ohhhh say 'black' or 'mexican' or __________ and shit would hit the fan.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Sparx1_1

The reality is that for some heterosexuals that is a very correct assessment of how they think and feel. We are all affected by our experiences and unfortunately vlasta has had an incredibly negative experience. Even more unfortunate is that there are people in our community who have the same opinions yet have never had a bad experience.
All vlasta has done is been honest about how her experiences have affected her. Rage filled responses will only guarantee that her opinion and the opinions of people with similar ideas will never change.

I tend to agree with the principles here. Sometimes there is a difference between what is said and what is heard. And, focusing on a line or two from the context of what was said can dramatically alter the perception of what was meant.

Within the context of what was said, I heard someone expressing their displeasure at having been deceived by someone they felt wasnt upfront and honest with them, and someone who betrayed their trust. And, this bothered them.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Sparx1_1

The reality is that for some heterosexuals that is a very correct assessment of how they think and feel. We are all affected by our experiences and unfortunately vlasta has had an incredibly negative experience. Even more unfortunate is that there are people in our community who have the same opinions yet have never had a bad experience.
All vlasta has done is been honest about how her experiences have affected her. Rage filled responses will only guarantee that her opinion and the opinions of people with similar ideas will never change.

I'd like to clarify that not one time that I have posted about this particular subject have *I* personally been "rage filled" it feels insulting to me that when we (general) have a difference with opinion with something that is OBVIOUSLY harmful to members of this community (what Vlasta said is, was, incorrect and harmful)

Having a different opinion and not agreeing with ugly statements regardless of someones own personal experience is not *RAGE* it's standing up and saying "hey, you don't get to insult our bisexual members here just because someone you were with cheated on you, molested you kid, and gave you a disease"


I find it ridiculous and insulting to be accused of being *rage filled* because one stands up for the rights of others to be here and not have to be insulted....



I tell ya what does piss me off, when someone takes it upon themselves to *assume* that because I am standing up for others that I am some angry pissed off woman.