Is Marriage for you?

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

I think this would be the ideal situation...I love living with Kasey and the family we have made...I love coming home to her, and watching her sleep...but I would LOVE to have a couple of days a week, month, whatever to myself. I crave alone time, and now that she works from home I get very little.

The difficulty that I sometimes have is one of societal expectations and many of those expectations are the same whether we are straight, gay or somewhere in between.

One of those expectations is that, if you're in love with someone you want to spend 24 / 7 with them. I've no doubt that works for many, probably most, folk but it just doesn't for me. Part of the reason may be that I've spent most of my adult life either single or in what would be termed reasonably casual relationships.

As a result, I've become accustomed to my own space and feel very claustrophic if I feel it's under threat and, furthermore, for right or wrong, whilst I've craved love and intimacy, I've not craved it in a 24 / 7 sense.

I just cannot do 24 / 7 in that "normal way" .... closest I could get to this would be separate bedrooms / living spaces in the same h.ouse.

The difficultly I often have is that, in the past, when articulating these feelings to partners, many have felt slighted or have questioned my commitment when, from my perspective, it wasn't about love or commitment ... but about preserving my sanity and preserving and actually strengthening a relationship.