Can You Really Be Friends With An Ex?

aishah · 02-25-2012, 02:49 PM

it depends. i'm friends with almost all of my exes and i think it's totally possible - i'm still extremely close (friendship-wise only) with two of them. but in this particular case i'd find it troubling that she wants to start out a friendship based off of her needing you...that doesn't seem like a healthy dynamic. not that friends shouldn't help each other but it seems odd that she's coming to you like this when you don't already have a friendship established. i second the need for boundaries.

Cuddles · 02-25-2012, 03:22 PM

The basis for reconnecting is due to the fact that she told me she finally took the advice I'd given her two years prior about a drastic change needed in her life. She's not had an easy life at all and I do feel bad for her in that regard.

However it's not a situation I want to get back into. I agreed to talk with her to give her a chance to vent a little and seek some friendly advice.

If I get the slightest hint that she's seeking more than advice, I'll be sure to stop the conversation and remind her of the boundaries.

I may be lonely, but I'm not self-loathing, nor am I THAT desperate. Sometimes I think I'd have an easier time in life if I was more hard up on my emotions... but if that were the case I wouldn't be so darn cuddly lol.

02-25-2012, 02:49 PM	#1
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,440 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	it depends. i'm friends with almost all of my exes and i think it's totally possible - i'm still extremely close (friendship-wise only) with two of them. but in this particular case i'd find it troubling that she wants to start out a friendship based off of her needing you...that doesn't seem like a healthy dynamic. not that friends shouldn't help each other but it seems odd that she's coming to you like this when you don't already have a friendship established. i second the need for boundaries.

02-25-2012, 03:22 PM	#2
Cuddles Junior Member How Do You Identify?: A romantic butch who loves to cuddle... and steal your french fry when you're not looking! Preferred Pronoun?: No preference. Relationship Status: Single, always looking to mingle and maybe be tamed one day Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Northern Florida Posts: 61 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 117 Thanked 191 Times in 36 Posts Rep Power: 1805812	The basis for reconnecting is due to the fact that she told me she finally took the advice I'd given her two years prior about a drastic change needed in her life. She's not had an easy life at all and I do feel bad for her in that regard. However it's not a situation I want to get back into. I agreed to talk with her to give her a chance to vent a little and seek some friendly advice. If I get the slightest hint that she's seeking more than advice, I'll be sure to stop the conversation and remind her of the boundaries. I may be lonely, but I'm not self-loathing, nor am I THAT desperate. Sometimes I think I'd have an easier time in life if I was more hard up on my emotions... but if that were the case I wouldn't be so darn cuddly lol.