Femme Invisibility?

[socialjustice_fsu]

What a great thread. It is comforting to know others are dealing with the very same issues about invisibility. I work for a large hospice unit located on a floor of one of our major hospitals. Day in and day out I see butches from all departments throughout the hospital. Let's just say it could be a lovely buffet. However, even getting them to simply make eye contact is a feat all within itself. It 'seems' they are always looking down for some reason. I think Gemme and Belle alluded to some of the reasons in an earlier post.
I am a femme. I have been judicious as to who I share my 'dynamic' (butch + femme). More than once the response has been: "You are too attractive to be "that." Or, "I didn't think lesbians wore heels, dresses...you know, acted like you do...." (I am not at all trying to be pompous but those were real responses). Looking back, my outing myself may not have been the right thing to do with some but that is their issue not mine. But....we (many femmes) are watching our lives march by simply by being in this cloak of invisibility. I want mostly to simply validate a butch's 'butchness'...for being who she/hy is to the world. When I see 'her' down the hall I would love to simply walk up and say 'We are in this together.' But, something still stops me. Maybe in some ways it works the same way for butches. I just don't know.
I heartily agree there must be some way to communicate to them that we are here and we want to know you, validate you, date you, adore you, love you (not all in the same day, though).
I think some of the brightest folks are here on the Planet. Surely we can bridge this gaping, absent link to know these butches. We want you. You enhance our world. Now we just need to know how to tell you or show you this.

[Christy51274]

Originally Posted by socialjustice_fsu

What a great thread. It is comforting to know others are dealing with the very same issues about invisibility. I work for a large hospice unit located on a floor of one of our major hospitals. Day in and day out I see butches from all departments throughout the hospital. Let's just say it could be a lovely buffet. However, even getting them to simply make eye contact is a feat all within itself. It 'seems' they are always looking down for some reason. I think Gemme and Belle alluded to some of the reasons in an earlier post.
I am a femme. I have been judicious as to who I share my 'dynamic' (butch + femme). More than once the response has been: "You are too attractive to be "that." Or, "I didn't think lesbians wore heels, dresses...you know, acted like you do...." (I am not at all trying to be pompous but those were real responses). Looking back, my outing myself may not have been the right thing to do with some but that is their issue not mine. But....we (many femmes) are watching our lives march by simply by being in this cloak of invisibility. I want mostly to simply validate a butch's 'butchness'...for being who she/hy is to the world. When I see 'her' down the hall I would love to simply walk up and say 'We are in this together.' But, something still stops me. Maybe in some ways it works the same way for butches. I just don't know.
I heartily agree there must be some way to communicate to them that we are here and we want to know you, validate you, date you, adore you, love you (not all in the same day, though).
I think some of the brightest folks are here on the Planet. Surely we can bridge this gaping, absent link to know these butches. We want you. You enhance our world. Now we just need to know how to tell you or show you this.

@Social Justice:

I appreciate you sharing your words. I really wish there were a better way to communicate with our counterparts in a way that wouldn't make us not appear to be screaming out in desperation! LOL.

Have a great day.