Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[midwest chick]

Originally Posted by claybaby

ohhh, Midwest, I am so very sorry. My GF & I send you a big hug and our wishes for energy and peace....Yes, you are correct..everyone needs to think about this for the younger generation...and consider the vaccine. Thanks for posting this.

Thank you....gardasill is not administered to women over 30, so it's important to get the series prior to that...forgot to mention it earlier.

[JustJo]

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

[mustangjeano]

Originally Posted by JustJo

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

Jo, my heart goes out to you and your Mom. I can certainly understand how she wants to stay in her home and not be dependant on anyone else but that just isn't an option at this point. I salute you for being willing to be there for her at this most difficult time and have her at home with you. This will probably be the toughest thing you have ever done and yet I bet that you will be glad that you were there for her. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Jean

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JustJo

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

I'm very, very sorry, my friend. Know I will be thinking of you and I am around if you want to talk.

[Tommi]

Hey Jo,

Hope you are okay today. This is the crises we never see coming, and it drags, yet drowns out all sound and reality with the rush of knowing the outcome.

This time next year, the spring flowers will start to bloom , the color will come back into your landscape, and your Mom will not be hurting and suffering.

and ...as for your sister, the drama of her trauama will be different next year, and you can send her Birthday and Holiday cards, and not hear the Me Me Me what about wonderful me.

Well, if you want to get away to Disneyland , just call.

Keep us posted Jo

[clay]

Jo:
Please know Miss Scarlett * I are holding you & mom, Rooster, & Snack...close in our hearts..and we send you white light energies and peace...and we walk this journey with you, in spirit!!

Having walked this one in 1998 for 3 months with my own mom, I can empathize with you..on so many levels...and no words, nothing can ever prepare one for this kind of journey...BUT somewhere, deep down, inside, are some incredibly amazing "reserves" of strength, patience, understanding, and peace that will come to you when you need them most!! Believe in this journey that there is some amazing bonding that will occur..and the time spent will be priceless..

What helped me most was I was holding my mom, whispering in her ear, giving her permission to go when she was ready, assuring her I would be okay, and to ascend when she was ready to go...as most folks do when they are transcending! The beauty for me was that I came into this world in her arms, and she left this world in mine.....a full circle we shared...completely rounded...and THAT is where my peace came from..we began and ended in one another's arms....and we saw archangel Michael just before she transcended, so he helped her to transition.

My mom was diagnosed with stage IV liver/lung/bone cancer..she lived 3 months! I lived in her home and gave her every detail of her care 24/7as she had asked for me...I was a Nurse for 21 years!!

Anyway, this is about YOU and your heart now...I am with you, Jo..my friend!!! May you, Rooster, and Snack be ever closer and know Miss Scarlett & I send you much love, prayers, and support!! Hug your mom also.... Clay

Originally Posted by JustJo

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

[SweetJane]

JustJo,
This is tough. I had to do that with my mother when I was 21. I went home to take care of some of her needs and missed her passing. She had wanted someone to be there and I wasn't. I carried that guilt for a long time.

Be with your momma while you can. Be strong for her.

When it is done, you can have your own meltdown.

Know that we will be here for you through it all.

Our prayers are with you.

[Miss Scarlett]

(((((Jo))))) Honey, i am so sorry to read this...yes, i've been there too and i wish i had some magic words to make this easier for you...

my Mom died from Pancreatic Cancer in 2007, She never talked with me about what she was feeling...this haunted me earlier this year...i think she was trying to avoid a similar meltdown to the one your mom had. Still not knowing how she was feeling bothered me. No one understands how this feels until they've walked this painful and frightening path...

There was nothing that could be done for Mom and i felt so helpless. She made me promise i'd help her die if she ever got to the point where she couldn't take it any more. Hospice was simply amazing for us and i hope they will be the same for your mom.

And NO i am certainly NOT sick of hearing you post about your mom...you have to talk about this...and i'm here if you need a shoulder or an ear...

Like Clay said, we're holding you close...sending much love, light, energy and prayers to you, your mom, your family and Snack...

Originally Posted by JustJo

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

[JustJo]

Thank you so much everyone.

Mom will not be able to go home with hospice care after all. The hospital room has been blocked to all but family, her roommate has been moved, and my sister is spending the night in the other bed for tonight.

They have basically said their goodbyes....mom knows her affairs are all in order....and she is leaving us very soon.

I have believed for some weeks that she was holding on for two things....to have decisions resolved and confirmed about her things and her property....and to see my sister.

Both of those have been accomplished....and now we wait.

[Tommi]

JustJo,

I am so glad you and Rooster have had quality time with your Mom in Florida. You worried so much about her, and I know this waiting is the hardest thing to go through.

We will be here and write when you can, as much as you can. You and yours are in our thoughts.

[SnackTime]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Thank you so much everyone.

Mom will not be able to go home with hospice care after all. The hospital room has been blocked to all but family, her roommate has been moved, and my sister is spending the night in the other bed for tonight.

They have basically said their goodbyes....mom knows her affairs are all in order....and she is leaving us very soon.

I have believed for some weeks that she was holding on for two things....to have decisions resolved and confirmed about her things and her property....and to see my sister.

Both of those have been accomplished....and now we wait.

I just wanted to give an update on what is going on with Jo's mother. Earlier today, Jo had the most difficult conversation of her life and said goodbye to her mother. They will never speak again. Mom has decided that it's time and said her goodbyes. She has asked the doctor to sedate her and stop all fluids and TPN, and just let her go.

Please keep her and Rooster in your thoughts and prayers. She appreciates all the support from this community.

[Novelafemme]

Thank you for letting us know, Snack. Please send her my love. My heart is with her and Rooster during this difficult time. Please let us know if there is anything she needs.

[julieisafemme]

Jo my thougts are with you and your family right now. It is hard for to read this. My Mom has been really sick from the chemotherapy for the past two months. She has one more round starting tomorrow. After that she says she is done with treatment. She's worn out. I knew this was coming but I am feeling unprepared. I guess I am still in denial. I don't even want to think of the world without her. We had a really nice Easter brunch and she was feeling well today.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by SnackTime

I just wanted to give an update on what is going on with Jo's mother. Earlier today, Jo had the most difficult conversation of her life and said goodbye to her mother. They will never speak again. Mom has decided that it's time and said her goodbyes. She has asked the doctor to sedate her and stop all fluids and TPN, and just let her go.

Please keep her and Rooster in your thoughts and prayers. She appreciates all the support from this community.

Snack,

Thanks so much for posting this. I was hoping we would get word as to how things are going. Please tell Jo she is in my thoughts. Thanks.

[sylvie]

Jaxon, please send love to Jo from both Mtn & i.. We've been keeping her, Rooster & her mother in Our thoughts constantly.. We've got you all in Our prayers, may her journey be peaceful - sending huggs & love to you both .. ♥

[socialjustice_fsu]

Originally Posted by JustJo

I know you all have to be so sick of hearing from me

Yesterday evening I had a long talk with my mother, who was having a total meltdown. It was incredibly stressful trying to be there for her as she was raging and crying and scared and all of the other stuff that goes along with knowing your days are numbered and that you're in pain.

Anyway....trying to figure out next steps...and spoke to the doctor this morning. She has 2 months "if we're lucky." She cannot go home, period. She cannot eat food, period. She will have horrible pain from here on out and they will do their best to help control it, period.

Fuck.

They believe they can get her off the IV pain meds, which she is hitting every 15 minutes religiously, and onto oral and patches for pain. They believe they can get her strong enough to fly down to me.

And then it's on me, period.

I have a call in to hospice.

This also means I get to have my crazy, fucked up narcissist of a sister in my house so that she can say her "devoted daughter and where's my share of the loot?" goodbyes.

I am angry, upset and just feel sick myself.

So...welcome to 50. First task of the next half century....help your momma die.

Fuck.

Precious Jo,

I wanted to echo what so many other wise and kind folks have said to you. Calling in hospice is an excellent move. They will get the pain under control and the team will likely even offer to help you deal with your sister if you ask the social worker about this. Reach out. These are highly trained people. Embrace them and let them rally around YOU.

Choose your battles wisely. Do what you feel you need to do. Let 'us' surround you with love and validation.There are 5 universal statements that might help ease your mothers transition and your acceptance of what is to come. They are, "I forgive you." "Will you forgive me?" "Thank you." "I love you." And, "Goodbye." Next year at this time the robins and this glorious spring shall return. Your life will look different from what it is now. It is all transient.

I hold you close to my heart and, in spirit, will walk beside you. Blessings and peace to you, your mom, your family and Snack.

Namaste.

Tamara