Cultivating Joy - How To

[princessbelle]

Great thread Nat!!!!!

I've always considered myself an optimist. Like many, i try to always see the bright side of things. It can backfire when you are around negative people however and come across as being silly or immature or an airhead. I have no doubt that my journey of being a joyful and happy person gets on many nerves. LOL. That's ok, i can live with that.

My mom, for instance, says i'm too optimistic and refers to me as an ostrich putting my head in the sand when things are not so great. I don't see it that way and of course there are times when i am hateful, pissed, angry and my temper gets the best of me.

I believe everything we do and how we impact others' lives is a choice and we can choose whatever we want. In other words, i CHOOSE to be joyful. I certainly don't have to be. I also believe anyone can choose it as well. Meditating, of sorts, can lead me back to this "place" when i've faltered and let negative energy into my life. I just sit and honestly feel that place inside of my psyche that smiles. I let her grow and grow until she consumes me and i feel whole again. I have no doubt it is endorphins that allow me to feel wonderful.

Being joyful in life is a wonderful place to be. Even if i regress and my surroundings or people lead me to that darker existence, i am aware that i can reach that wonderful home of happy and will climb any mountain to reach it.

I found the link provided while looking around on the webs. Even though it is one of those "company" paid events that promise your employers a much happier work place, it does examine how that joyful place in our minds has a lot of positive effects and not just for the smile we wear on our faces. It helps with fighting disease and so on.

Also being around sick folks most of my time, i have found so much that being joyful can do when we share it. A soft touch, a smile even in our darkest, scariest times in life can really do much more than medication and can help people achieve a better life, even if it is just for a little while.

I remember i had a patient who was dying of cancer. His kidneys had already failed and he knew he only had a few days left. Holding his hand and praying with him one day, he said to me "You are the only person that has been around me in weeks that has smiled. People just seem to look at me and cry. You have no idea what that means to me." That really was a huge impact on my life and i hope on his.

I believe, one day, we will find that being joyful and happy can be much more important than any medication any man can produce.


http://www.emotionalhealthcentre.com...eak%20Peek.pdf

Endorphin Effect Strategies and EFT – Martine Moorby
Endorphins are the natural feel good hormones that every cell of our body is capable of producing. Their function is to relax tissue, eliminate pain, create feelings of pleasure and facilitate healing.
It is possible to produce endorphins deliberately. Attitude and focus are as important as the activity that you choose to undertake to release endorphins. When we educate ourselves and our clients to become more aware of our bodies and its sensations, when we and they understand how our attitudes support or undermine our relationship with our body, we can make healthier choices that increase our resilience and allow us to flourish in times of stress.
One way we trigger our chemistry is through the thoughts we have. You can easily check this for yourself.
-Imagine holding a lemon, feel its waxy, smooth, cool shape in your hand. Contemplate its bright yellow colour. Imagine cutting through it. See the cool juice squirting as the knife cuts through.
Now imagine biting into the lemon. Take a generous open-mouthed bite into the half you have just cut... and tune into your body.
You may be surprised by your chemical response.
In the same way, now recall a pleasurable memory. Tune into your body and give yourself permission to enjoy any pleasurable sensations that may have arisen.
Many people do not stop long enough to enjoy the endorphins they are producing in that moment. If anything, many of my clients find it harder to feel and allow pleasure to land and linger in their body, than to experience the immediate discomfort of the taste of tart lemon in their mouths.
This is where EFT is a wonderfully helpful tool, helping remove the blocks to allowing pleasure to land. These blocks are often what Gary Craig refers to as “the Writing on our Walls”, or the beliefs that have arisen from our history and the stories we tell ourselves. By changing our thoughts, we can change our experiences, and allow deep healing and transformation to take place.
Combining the Endorphin Effect Strategies with EFT allows you to take powerful, empowering transformative steps on your journey to wholeness.

[Gráinne]

I keep a "Joy Journal". Instead of bitching and complaining (OK, so I do write of those things too ), I set maybe 10 minutes and try to list as many things-however small-gave me joy. Whether it was laughing at the cat, a hug from the kids, or a funny TV show, I put it down. I think joy is a habit, just like being a sourpuss.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by guihong

I keep a "Joy Journal". Instead of bitching and complaining (OK, so I do write of those things too ), I set maybe 10 minutes and try to list as many things-however small-gave me joy. Whether it was laughing at the cat, a hug from the kids, or a funny TV show, I put it down. I think joy is a habit, just like being a sourpuss.

I love this and am going to do it as well! Thank you for sharing, guihong!

[Medusa]

At least once a day, I wiggle my toes and give thanks that I can feel my feet and am not in a wheelchair as a paraplegic.

Sometimes more than once a day, I am thankful that my body works mostly the way I want it to.

Many times a day, I am thankful for having a job, for feeling safe, for having people who love me.

Often, I am thankful to know who I am as a woman and what my heart is about.

Giving thanks for very small things gives me an inner joy that reverberates loudly when I am having pity parties with myself.

There is a little story that I sometimes retell myself to help me remember my joy:

When I was 16, I worked at a dairy bar and we always had a bunch of strays dogs and cats around the back door.
One day, a very pregnant beagle came up by the back door and was obviously hungry and homeless. She was covered with fleas and was dirty as hell and stunk to high heaven.
I have her a hot dog and watched her trot off happily in the rain toward the open field behind the restaurant.

The image of that dog with biggo floppy ears trotting happily in the rain with a hot dog hanging from her snout reminded me that nothing I have ever been through is the same as a homeless pregnant dog in the rain scrounging for food. Even that dog was in survival mode.
Sometimes survival mode is all we've got.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by Medusa

At least once a day, I wiggle my toes and give thanks that I can feel my feet and am not in a wheelchair as a paraplegic.

Sometimes more than once a day, I am thankful that my body works mostly the way I want it to.

Many times a day, I am thankful for having a job, for feeling safe, for having people who love me.

Often, I am thankful to know who I am as a woman and what my heart is about.

Giving thanks for very small things gives me an inner joy that reverberates loudly when I am having pity parties with myself.

There is a little story that I sometimes retell myself to help me remember my joy:

When I was 16, I worked at a dairy bar and we always had a bunch of strays dogs and cats around the back door.
One day, a very pregnant beagle came up by the back door and was obviously hungry and homeless. She was covered with fleas and was dirty as hell and stunk to high heaven.
I have her a hot dog and watched her trot off happily in the rain toward the open field behind the restaurant.

The image of that dog with biggo floppy ears trotting happily in the rain with a hot dog hanging from her snout reminded me that nothing I have ever been through is the same as a homeless pregnant dog in the rain scrounging for food. Even that dog was in survival mode.
Sometimes survival mode is all we've got.

Thank you for every inch of this <3 Especially that last sentence!

[aishah]

i've been meaning to post in this thread for weeks and i keep forgetting nat...thank you so much for starting this thread. and thank you to everyone who's posted.

one of my favorite devotional writers says that gratitude is the basis of joy...so i've been trying to make a more conscious effort to write out what i'm grateful for. i made the "gratitude" thread my bookmark for bfp so i can remember to write in there more often

i've found brene brown's books extremely helpful for facilitating deeper connections with people in my life...and with myself. for me that's a big part of cultivating joy. her books i thought it was just me and the gifts of imperfection go into the roots of shame and how shame can create disconnection between people, and how to build resilience against shame and build connection with one another. she writes a lot about empathy and how to practice/develop our empathy skills. she also has two awesome ted talks

http://www.ted.com/speakers/brene_brown.html

[Metro]

I like to include comedy in my day... Molly Shannon, in particular, cracks me up -- I love it!


http://www.hulu.com/watch/282504/sat...-pretty-living

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by aishah

i've found brene brown's books extremely helpful for facilitating deeper connections with people in my life...and with myself. for me that's a big part of cultivating joy. her books i thought it was just me and the gifts of imperfection go into the roots of shame and how shame can create disconnection between people, and how to build resilience against shame and build connection with one another. she writes a lot about empathy and how to practice/develop our empathy skills. she also has two awesome ted talks

http://www.ted.com/speakers/brene_brown.html

I've just recently discovered this author as well. Currently reading her latest; "Daring Greatly" and finding it very helpful in defining specifics around feelings that can derail joy in order to build resilience against them, reclaiming happiness.

[JAGG]

Great thread Nat thanks !
Every night before I go to sleep I think of 3 good things that happened to me that day. I guess I'm very lucky , I have a wonderful life, with so many things that bring me joy, that it's never hard to find joy. Even in the saddest of times , I can always find something to be happy about and something to look forward to.
I trust the universe will always take care of me and it always does.
Even when I think back at some tough times I realize the universe was doing me a huge favor, I just didn't know it at the time.

[Tcountry]

snip:

Originally Posted by guihong

...I think joy is a habit...

Exactly...
It is the every day choice to take time to remind ourselves.
A journal, garden, gratitude sayings, posts, waking up in the morning and being thankful that you were given another day...
Constant daily reminders...pets, people, stories...that no matter how bad it gets we are not alone, and we are not the only one who has been through this or worse.
Take as much negative out of your life as you possibly can...
Example...I really don't like hearing, reading, saying the word "hate"...was even hard to type it. You limit the negative and you cannot help but notice the positives.
Animals, people, smiles, sunshine, having a roof over your head and clothes on your back...not being hungry...being able to communicate with a loving family-like community. Take time to enjoy and delight in even the smallest simple things...
Then when bad things do happen, they are easier to handle. They are mistakes we won't make again. Bad choices we learn from. Circumstances that are beyong our control. We can handle it and move on. Everything happens for a reason, and leave it as that. What's meant to be will be.

Don't get discouraged...it takes 4 weeks of daily reminders to create a habit. But a lifetime of living with a more positive outlook is most definitely worth it.

*tip hat*