Are butches really a dying breed?

dancer611 · 03-29-2012, 12:17 PM

So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

Breathless · 03-29-2012, 12:49 PM

I actually have to agree with dancer. I have found exactly the same thing. On the rare occassion that I do see a *fine* butch, he has been discovered, and deliriously happy with a beautiful femme by his side. Other times I have met someone, and it like wow the packaging is there, but.. imposter in a butches clothing..

MrSunshine · 03-29-2012, 12:54 PM

I hate it when zombies dress in butch clothing. Especially when they eat your face.

LaneyDoll · 03-29-2012, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

I hate it when zombies dress in butch clothing. Especially when they eat your face.

OMG!!! I thought I was the only one who hated this!!!

LaneyDoll · 03-29-2012, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breathless

I actually have to agree with dancer. I have found exactly the same thing. On the rare occassion that I do see a *fine* butch, he has been discovered, and deliriously happy with a beautiful femme by his side. Other times I have met someone, and it like wow the packaging is there, but.. imposter in a butches clothing..

I once went out with a girl who decided that she could "turn butch" since that was MY preference. I could not make her understand that being butch was about more than the clothes someone wore.

AtLast · 03-29-2012, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancer611

So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

We butches are alive and well in Northern California.

ruby_woo · 03-29-2012, 01:39 PM

There were a ton of butches when I lived in San Francisco, but there seem to be only about 10 of them in Vancouver- and most of them are quite a bit older than me (I'm 29). Probably the whole dying-breed thing depends on geography, and maybe generation.

Luckily for me I like older butches. Ha!

Mr Nice Guy · 03-29-2012, 02:03 PM

To me there are more Butches then Femmes where I live. That's another reason why I'm still single.

dancer611 · 03-29-2012, 02:07 PM

And where, pray tell, are you at?

Curley · 04-02-2012, 12:31 AM

[quote=ruby_woo;555602]There were a ton of butches when I lived in San Francisco, but there seem to be only about 10 of them in Vancouver- and most of them are quite a bit older than me (I'm 29). Probably the whole dying-breed thing depends on geography, and maybe generation.

Luckily for me I like older butches.

Ruby woo
I'm in Vancouver too and yes butches seem sparse but I have the opposite problem. The ones I see are all way younger I'm 55' maybe we need to hang out in each others turf. Lol

tara_kerrie · 04-03-2012, 11:57 AM

Im butch. In my state there arent many femmes. And it seems like i all attract are bi-sexuals who wanna have a 3-some
With their bf

Kobi · 03-29-2012, 02:07 PM

I dont think butches are a dying breed. I also dont believe there is a "small group of radical feminists trying to perpetuate this myth".

In my experience, it seems we have been blessed with a wider variety of options not only in sex, gender, and orientations but in the multitude of ways in which these are expressed.

This freedom, it seems, has changed the landscape into something not so easily identifiable and/or congruent with our own defintions and preferences.

It's neither good nor bad. It's just different from the traditionally held norms.

Mr Nice Guy · 03-29-2012, 02:14 PM

I think that I'm blind to the Femmes in NH. I think they all look straight to me and I do attract straight women which boggles my mind. It's always been a problem since I was young. I'm still trying to figure it out. I even asked one time because I really wanted to know what I did to do that.

Parker · 03-29-2012, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi

I dont think butches are a dying breed. I also dont believe there is a "small group of radical feminists trying to perpetuate this myth".

In my experience, it seems we have been blessed with a wider variety of options not only in sex, gender, and orientations but in the multitude of ways in which these are expressed.

This freedom, it seems, has changed the landscape into something not so easily identifiable and/or congruent with our own defintions and preferences.

It's neither good nor bad. It's just different from the traditionally held norms.

Agreed. I also dont think this myth or belief or whatever is about radfems - I think it's about people having more freedom and more options in which to identify; as well as more freedom and options in which to present that identification. I think it's about being able to be gay without always having to "prove" it as someone else said by the way that one presents oneself. I think it's about being able to be a butch in many different ways, shapes, and forms.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancer611

So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

I have noticed a ton o' butches out here in Seattle. The couple next door to me appears (to me) to be a butch-femme couple and the couple who runs the dog rescue I work with is also a butch-femme couple who has a ton of butch and femme friends - and that's just 2 couples off of the top of my head.

Quintease · 03-29-2012, 02:21 PM

Where I live I've heard bf people complain there are way more femmes than butches, forgetting that most of the ''femmes'' they're looking at aren't self-identified femmes at all, they are just lesbians who happen to look feminine.

aishah · 03-29-2012, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

Where I live I've heard bf people complain there are way more femmes than butches, forgetting that most of the ''femmes'' they're looking at aren't self-identified femmes at all, they are just lesbians who happen to look feminine.

yes this!!! thank you for posting this.

Kobi · 03-29-2012, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

Where I live I've heard bf people complain there are way more femmes than butches, forgetting that most of the ''femmes'' they're looking at aren't self-identified femmes at all, they are just lesbians who happen to look feminine.

Ok this is an example of where terminology and Kobi's lesbian oriented brain disconnect. Can you explain this to me in a way I might get what you are saying?

Quintease · 03-29-2012, 02:51 PM

Femme - is a gender ID

Lesbian - is a sexual orientation

Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic.

In places where homosexuality is becoming normalised, so are lesbians. So more lesbians are looking mainstream and more straight women are looking gay, ie: no more lesbian 'look'.

Kobi · 03-29-2012, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

Femme - is a gender ID

Lesbian - is a sexual orientation

Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic.

In places where homosexuality is becoming normalised, so are lesbians. So more lesbians are looking mainstream and more straight women are looking gay, ie: no more lesbian 'look'.

Thank you. That I understood.

Library_girl · 03-29-2012, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quintease

Femme - is a gender ID

Lesbian - is a sexual orientation

Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic.

In places where homosexuality is becoming normalised, so are lesbians. So more lesbians are looking mainstream and more straight women are looking gay, ie: no more lesbian 'look'.

Welllllll, not always.......sorry Quintease, I have to disagree with one part of what you said. (though I normally agree with so much of what you say and enjoy your posts! So forgive me

)

"Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic"

Maybe I am being too picky. I don't know how long ago you mean by "traditionally", but if you go back to say the 1960's, 1950's, and before, (the pre-Stonewall years), all lesbians were butch or femme, that was that. Butch/femme wasn't a subset of LGBTQ, or a sexual dynamic. (LGBTQ didn't exist) Lesbian and b/f were one in the same. (Lee Lynch, my favorite author, has written wonderful books about this) So we weren't all trying to look the same back then. If you were a lesbian, you were either butch or femme, period.

OK, I'll shut up now. I'll stop being such a librarian about it.

03-29-2012, 12:49 PM	#2
Breathless Brat Extraordinaire How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Happy Tournaments Won: 23 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Alberta Canada Posts: 1,412 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,549 Thanked 4,098 Times in 958 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I actually have to agree with dancer. I have found exactly the same thing. On the rare occassion that I do see a fine butch, he has been discovered, and deliriously happy with a beautiful femme by his side. Other times I have met someone, and it like wow the packaging is there, but.. imposter in a butches clothing.. __________________ *BE the change you wish to see in the world. Gandhi*

03-29-2012, 02:07 PM	#12
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,622 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I dont think butches are a dying breed. I also dont believe there is a "small group of radical feminists trying to perpetuate this myth". In my experience, it seems we have been blessed with a wider variety of options not only in sex, gender, and orientations but in the multitude of ways in which these are expressed. This freedom, it seems, has changed the landscape into something not so easily identifiable and/or congruent with our own defintions and preferences. It's neither good nor bad. It's just different from the traditionally held norms. __________________

03-29-2012, 02:21 PM	#15
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	Where I live I've heard bf people complain there are way more femmes than butches, forgetting that most of the ''femmes'' they're looking at aren't self-identified femmes at all, they are just lesbians who happen to look feminine. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

03-29-2012, 02:51 PM	#18
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	Femme - is a gender ID Lesbian - is a sexual orientation Lesbians have traditionally all tried to look like each other in order to be visible or did bf, which was a sexual dynamic. In places where homosexuality is becoming normalised, so are lesbians. So more lesbians are looking mainstream and more straight women are looking gay, ie: no more lesbian 'look'. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

03-29-2012, 12:17 PM	#1
dancer611 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Preferred Pronoun?: fairy princess :) Relationship Status: single Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: USA Posts: 20 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 77 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 1788034	So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

03-29-2012, 12:54 PM	#3
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I hate it when zombies dress in butch clothing. Especially when they eat your face.

03-29-2012, 01:39 PM	#7
ruby_woo Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,848 Thanked 1,941 Times in 376 Posts Rep Power: 17615392	There were a ton of butches when I lived in San Francisco, but there seem to be only about 10 of them in Vancouver- and most of them are quite a bit older than me (I'm 29). Probably the whole dying-breed thing depends on geography, and maybe generation. Luckily for me I like older butches. Ha!

03-29-2012, 02:03 PM	#8
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	To me there are more Butches then Femmes where I live. That's another reason why I'm still single.

04-02-2012, 12:31 AM	#10
Curley Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her, hey you lol Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Vancouver B.C Posts: 85 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 517 Thanked 133 Times in 48 Posts Rep Power: 659478	[quote=ruby_woo;555602]There were a ton of butches when I lived in San Francisco, but there seem to be only about 10 of them in Vancouver- and most of them are quite a bit older than me (I'm 29). Probably the whole dying-breed thing depends on geography, and maybe generation. Luckily for me I like older butches. Ruby woo I'm in Vancouver too and yes butches seem sparse but I have the opposite problem. The ones I see are all way younger I'm 55' maybe we need to hang out in each others turf. Lol

04-03-2012, 11:57 AM	#11
tara_kerrie Member How Do You Identify?: Whatever you want to call us Preferred Pronoun?: Her, she, Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Wherever these 18 wheels take us Posts: 583 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 484 Thanked 1,366 Times in 441 Posts Rep Power: 17763585	Im butch. In my state there arent many femmes. And it seems like i all attract are bi-sexuals who wanna have a 3-some With their bf

03-29-2012, 02:14 PM	#13
Mr Nice Guy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kind, sweet, loving, romantic and a rare Butch. :) Relationship Status: I don't drive a Uhaul. :) Join Date: May 2011 Location: Another New Englander Posts: 1,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,035 Thanked 4,894 Times in 1,307 Posts Rep Power: 0	I think that I'm blind to the Femmes in NH. I think they all look straight to me and I do attract straight women which boggles my mind. It's always been a problem since I was young. I'm still trying to figure it out. I even asked one time because I really wanted to know what I did to do that.