Abuse in butch-femme relationships

Gemme · 03-29-2012, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dancer611

I don't know how I'll meet another butch who meets all my emotional and physical and spiritual needs like she did, and like I did for her; who I can love as completely and connect to as deeply; who I can tell anything to without judgment; who will be interested in me and I in them, and we will both have eyes only for each other; who I can give my whole heart to and love unconditionally, and who will do the same for me.

How can someone 'meet all your needs' if she's wailing on you and threatening you with weapons?

Listen to the others. Therapy, get into it. Stay far, far away from her. She is not healthy for you or herself in any way, shape or form.

dancer611 · 03-29-2012, 10:20 PM

Also, to clarify, I know that what happened the second time on my part (though I was scared as she got into this "mode" where anything could happen) was very wrong, but the first time, I only hit her to get her away from me, as she was chasing me down the street when I tried to get away.

kittygrrl · 03-29-2012, 10:35 PM

get out now, even with therapy she can and probably will relapse..it's hard to let go of someone who meets your needs on other levels but realize she isn't the only one out there who can..you need therapy too because being battered leaves you vunerable to choose someone who is a lot like your ex. It's very typical of women who have suffered from abuse to have a very hard time letting go...I work with battered women( for a living) and I see the same women who without therapy will out of 50 normal people will be attracted to the one person who will abuse them..It's typical behavior for most abusers to be so very sorry...........until it happens again. Hoping it will stop is like hoping the moon won't rise. Don't waste years thinking she will change she won't, she will use up your youth, destroy your self esteem, and if she finally leaves you will take everything she can from you and feel totally justified because this is all your fault (of course) if there is a hell, this is at least one of them. Love yourself enough to get out and resolve to stay away from her. It will take some time to get over her, be patient, seek therapy and be well.

03-29-2012, 10:20 PM	#2
dancer611 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: High Femme Preferred Pronoun?: fairy princess :) Relationship Status: single Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: USA Posts: 20 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 77 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 1788034	Also, to clarify, I know that what happened the second time on my part (though I was scared as she got into this "mode" where anything could happen) was very wrong, but the first time, I only hit her to get her away from me, as she was chasing me down the street when I tried to get away.

03-29-2012, 10:35 PM	#3
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: just for fun Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,634 Thanked 22,018 Times in 7,120 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	get out now, even with therapy she can and probably will relapse..it's hard to let go of someone who meets your needs on other levels but realize she isn't the only one out there who can..you need therapy too because being battered leaves you vunerable to choose someone who is a lot like your ex. It's very typical of women who have suffered from abuse to have a very hard time letting go...I work with battered women( for a living) and I see the same women who without therapy will out of 50 normal* people* will be attracted to the one person who will abuse them..It's typical behavior for most abusers to be so very sorry...........until it happens again. Hoping it will stop is like hoping the moon won't rise. Don't waste years thinking she will change she won't, she will use up your youth, destroy your self esteem, and if she finally leaves you will take everything she can from you and feel totally justified because this is all your fault (of course) if there is a hell, this is at least one of them. Love yourself enough to get out and resolve to stay away from her. It will take some time to get over her, be patient, seek therapy and be well.