Under 30 - Coming Up and Coming Out

Princess · 03-30-2012, 01:37 AM

I wanna give this thread a little bump because I think it's important for those of us under 30 to share our stories and learning experiences. Ya never know who is reading these, and how much it will help them! With that said...

I am 28 years old and I came out when I was 14. It was a huge accident to be honest with you. I mean, I had known for a long while that I was not interested in boys. I didn't quite put 2 and 2 together until the summer before I turned 14.

My best friend went away to Oregon for the summer, and when she got back I of course went to her house for a sleepover. She came out to me that night, and told me that she had met a girl in Oregon and she was dating her. I will tell you that my reaction was sort of...odd. I felt uncomfortable with her, and actually faked sick to go home! When I got home all I could think about was if that was me...Erika and I talked about it later on that week and I came to the conclusion that I was indeed a "lesbian" That conversation took place just to the left of our favorite baseball field, under this big ol tree and she ended up being my very FIRST girlfriend.

Fast forward to how I was outed though...I guess Erika and I hadnt been so quiet, or so subtle about our relationship because people at school were talking. We were the only two gays in the whole school so of course it was a big deal.

Somehow, my mother found out through the grapevine. We were watching t.v. King of the Hill actually, and I don't know why I remember that, maybe because it was an important moment. Anyway, she looked at me and said:

"Ang are you bisexual?"

I thought about that very carefully for a moment and I said:

"No mom, i'm gay and Erika is my girlfriend."

That was pretty much it! She was supportive of me instantly and then it seemed to spread like wildfire. Soon enough my whole family and seemingly the whole town knew. I haven't ever looked back. I can say, I am really glad that Erika had that summer away, because it forced me to think about things. Otherwise, it would have been a long struggle trying to come to those terms.

Also note, I am leaving out a whole lot of in between negativity things that I encountered on my journey, but when I am feeling up to it I will share that too.

LexiLove · 10-18-2013, 04:25 PM

This is a realllllly old thread but I wanted to share my story.

Just to be completely honest, I am teetering on 30. I will be 30 in December.

I knew I was ferociously attracted to girls at a very young age. I remember making my barbies kiss when I was 5 or so years old. I was definitely into masculine people though which was very confusing. I crushed on boys in middle/high school but knew something was wrong the first time I had sex with a boy. Actually, I lost my virginity to my best friend. She and I were inseparable and even though she was VERY feminine, I was very tomboyish at the time.

My father was a very homophobic guy (to be honest he still kind of is) and I am a through and through daddy's girl. He told me very early in life that as long as I was "not a rapist, murderer, pedophile, or gay that he would love me." I was completely crushed and spent many years hiding behind boyfriends and trying to change my father's mind. I finally ended up getting married to a man and having two children. We loved one another but I felt more like he was my friend. My now ex husband knew that I loved women and allowed me to "be" with women from time to time. He joined the Army and while away allowed me to have women in my life. They were my "friends" in front of my children, other family, or strangers, but once alone they were my lovers.

I remember the first time I saw a "butch" on tv. I am not sure how she identifies but she is very masculine looking. It was an episode of Millionaire matchmaker and her name is Tyler. I almost fell over. She was so sexy and exactly what I wanted in my life. I had reached a point where I couldn't hide anymore. I was depressed, scared, and really wanted to leave my married life with my husband. My husband left for Afghanistan and while gone, I met my butch. I fell HARD. Sadly, I broke my husband's heart. I still feel guilty for that but I had to leave. I wanted her more than anything else in my life. I divorced him, got custody of my children, she and I raise my babies as our own and life is good. My ex realized too that he is happier without me. It took a long time for him to get over me but he tells me that it is nice to be with a women who responds to him, uhm, sexually.

Anyway, all of this happened over the last few years. It has been a long process but I couldn't stay in the closet a minute longer after meeting her. Also, my dad came around and now loves both of us.

Life is good.

03-30-2012, 01:37 AM	#1
Princess Member How Do You Identify?: princess Preferred Pronoun?: She, her. Relationship Status: One singular sensation! Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Topeka, KS Posts: 1,341 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,082 Thanked 4,582 Times in 1,009 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I wanna give this thread a little bump because I think it's important for those of us under 30 to share our stories and learning experiences. Ya never know who is reading these, and how much it will help them! With that said... I am 28 years old and I came out when I was 14. It was a huge accident to be honest with you. I mean, I had known for a long while that I was not interested in boys. I didn't quite put 2 and 2 together until the summer before I turned 14. My best friend went away to Oregon for the summer, and when she got back I of course went to her house for a sleepover. She came out to me that night, and told me that she had met a girl in Oregon and she was dating her. I will tell you that my reaction was sort of...odd. I felt uncomfortable with her, and actually faked sick to go home! When I got home all I could think about was if that was me...Erika and I talked about it later on that week and I came to the conclusion that I was indeed a "lesbian" That conversation took place just to the left of our favorite baseball field, under this big ol tree and she ended up being my very FIRST girlfriend. Fast forward to how I was outed though...I guess Erika and I hadnt been so quiet, or so subtle about our relationship because people at school were talking. We were the only two gays in the whole school so of course it was a big deal. Somehow, my mother found out through the grapevine. We were watching t.v. King of the Hill actually, and I don't know why I remember that, maybe because it was an important moment. Anyway, she looked at me and said: "Ang are you bisexual?" I thought about that very carefully for a moment and I said: "No mom, i'm gay and Erika is my girlfriend." That was pretty much it! She was supportive of me instantly and then it seemed to spread like wildfire. Soon enough my whole family and seemingly the whole town knew. I haven't ever looked back. I can say, I am really glad that Erika had that summer away, because it forced me to think about things. Otherwise, it would have been a long struggle trying to come to those terms. Also note, I am leaving out a whole lot of in between negativity things that I encountered on my journey, but when I am feeling up to it I will share that too.

10-18-2013, 04:25 PM	#2
LexiLove Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce.Lesbian.Femme.Dyke. Preferred Pronoun?: She.Her.Sweetums. Relationship Status: I have her...hoping to keep her Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: NY for now Posts: 53 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31 Thanked 135 Times in 36 Posts Rep Power: 950353	This is a realllllly old thread but I wanted to share my story. Just to be completely honest, I am teetering on 30. I will be 30 in December. I knew I was ferociously attracted to girls at a very young age. I remember making my barbies kiss when I was 5 or so years old. I was definitely into masculine people though which was very confusing. I crushed on boys in middle/high school but knew something was wrong the first time I had sex with a boy. Actually, I lost my virginity to my best friend. She and I were inseparable and even though she was VERY feminine, I was very tomboyish at the time. My father was a very homophobic guy (to be honest he still kind of is) and I am a through and through daddy's girl. He told me very early in life that as long as I was "not a rapist, murderer, pedophile, or gay that he would love me." I was completely crushed and spent many years hiding behind boyfriends and trying to change my father's mind. I finally ended up getting married to a man and having two children. We loved one another but I felt more like he was my friend. My now ex husband knew that I loved women and allowed me to "be" with women from time to time. He joined the Army and while away allowed me to have women in my life. They were my "friends" in front of my children, other family, or strangers, but once alone they were my lovers. I remember the first time I saw a "butch" on tv. I am not sure how she identifies but she is very masculine looking. It was an episode of Millionaire matchmaker and her name is Tyler. I almost fell over. She was so sexy and exactly what I wanted in my life. I had reached a point where I couldn't hide anymore. I was depressed, scared, and really wanted to leave my married life with my husband. My husband left for Afghanistan and while gone, I met my butch. I fell HARD. Sadly, I broke my husband's heart. I still feel guilty for that but I had to leave. I wanted her more than anything else in my life. I divorced him, got custody of my children, she and I raise my babies as our own and life is good. My ex realized too that he is happier without me. It took a long time for him to get over me but he tells me that it is nice to be with a women who responds to him, uhm, sexually. Anyway, all of this happened over the last few years. It has been a long process but I couldn't stay in the closet a minute longer after meeting her. Also, my dad came around and now loves both of us. Life is good.