Are you OUT at work?

genghisfawn · 04-09-2012, 07:20 AM

I don't come out at a new job until I have firm friends. Right now I'm contracted to another company, working full-time on their site. When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone or married or something, I respond with a subtle, "Eventually!" and a smile.

However, I had lunch with another division's manager when I first started with my company and it came up that I'd been engaged. She said at one point after that, "Don't be offended, but are you a lesbian?"

I was FLOORED. Not because she asked, because I don't really care, but that she actually read me as gay! Could it have been the sweatervest and blouse combo over no-nonsense trousers and shoes? I just said, "Yes... why, do I, you know, look gay or something?"

She said, "No, not at all. I have a sixth sense for these things."

She and I are totally friends and we're totally going shopping this week.

apretty · 04-09-2012, 07:57 AM

Yes, as I'm asked about my personal life I always correct the inevitable presumed heterosexuality--I don't offer personal information generally because it doesn't pertain to the job (and as I have a supervisory position I like a little distance), but I will share bits of who I am, as appropriate.

Novelafemme · 04-09-2012, 08:08 AM

Like, apretty, I am out at work (and everywhere) but I keep my personal life private as much as I can. At one point I had several coworkers as friends on facebook but I found it very awkward when they knew about my active social life outside of work and would comment on what I did over the weekend. I am a total contradiction when it comes to my privacy, lol. So, I "unfriended" them on facebook and keep my friend list to only those I know pretty darned well (and family).

I have pictures of Katy and I up in my office, as well as pics of my girls and other friends and family, and sometimes new people stop by my office and I catch them looking at the photos and then looking at me as the little light bulb goes off in their brains.

04-09-2012, 07:57 AM	#2
apretty Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego Posts: 1,687 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,927 Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Yes, as I'm asked about my personal life I always correct the inevitable presumed heterosexuality--I don't offer personal information generally because it doesn't pertain to the job (and as I have a supervisory position I like a little distance), but I will share bits of who I am, as appropriate. Last edited by apretty; 04-09-2012 at 08:00 AM.

04-09-2012, 07:20 AM	#1
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I don't come out at a new job until I have firm friends. Right now I'm contracted to another company, working full-time on their site. When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone or married or something, I respond with a subtle, "Eventually!" and a smile. However, I had lunch with another division's manager when I first started with my company and it came up that I'd been engaged. She said at one point after that, "Don't be offended, but are you a lesbian?" I was FLOORED. Not because she asked, because I don't really care, but that she actually read me as gay! Could it have been the sweatervest and blouse combo over no-nonsense trousers and shoes? I just said, "Yes... why, do I, you know, look gay or something?" She said, "No, not at all. I have a sixth sense for these things." She and I are totally friends and we're totally going shopping this week.

04-09-2012, 08:08 AM	#3
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	Like, apretty, I am out at work (and everywhere) but I keep my personal life private as much as I can. At one point I had several coworkers as friends on facebook but I found it very awkward when they knew about my active social life outside of work and would comment on what I did over the weekend. I am a total contradiction when it comes to my privacy, lol. So, I "unfriended" them on facebook and keep my friend list to only those I know pretty darned well (and family). I have pictures of Katy and I up in my office, as well as pics of my girls and other friends and family, and sometimes new people stop by my office and I catch them looking at the photos and then looking at me as the little light bulb goes off in their brains.