would you date someone with significantly different beliefs?

1QuirkyKiwi · 04-11-2012, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

I am much more concerned about how someone deals with money, raising children, interpersonal skills and living with integrity.

For me, this is the foundation of a relationship regardless of different beliefs and cultural backgrounds; these can be discussed and a compromise met, such as agreeing not to discuss them.

Ciaran · 04-11-2012, 01:28 PM

Would I date someone with significantly different beliefs? Yes, unless their beliefs were, in my opinion, very distasteful. What I view as "very distasteful" is potentially different from the views of many others - our differences in opinions make the world a sometimes vibrant, energetic and interesting place.

Differences, within reason, are fine and, in my experience, they can be good for relationships. Certainly, I've usually had better relationships with people who've had different views from my own .......... after all, although I'm a socially conservative right-winger, I can't think of anything worse than dating another one.

laruss · 04-11-2012, 05:06 PM

It depends on the person. I have been in relationships with people who have similar beliefs and some who have had very different beliefs. It comes down to respect of the individual. I had a harder time with one person who supposedly had the same beliefs, as they kept putting words in my mouth, answering things for me and just assuming we were exactly the same in our thinking. One person with the very different beliefs was a great debater and we agreed to disagree on many things, it worked for us.
So my answer would be yes I would as long as they were respectful and they would need to have some idea of Spirit and our connectedness.

thedivahrrrself · 04-11-2012, 05:11 PM

I should amend mine to say I could not date a blatant bigot. Misogynistic, sexist, racist....these are not attractive viewpoints.

So, within reason, I appreciate people with different views from my own. I'm from Oklahoma, for goodness sake, if I only hung out with people like me, I'd be up shit creek, as they say.

Soft*Silver · 04-11-2012, 05:48 PM

I am not Christian but chrissy is very much Christian. He went to college to be a minister, in fact. Does he press his religious outlook on me? Not at all. Does he live by his religious outlook and not just mouth the words? Yes. I respect him so much for being a believer and a do-er in his faith. He, however, struggles with my paganism and my supernatural beliefs. He doesnt believe in psychics, yet my daughter is one. He doesnt believe in tarot, yet I read cards. He certainly doesnt believe in reincarnation, but I am sure of it. Would he go to a ritual with me? MMM...probably but would not respect it like I would wish he would. In other words, I think he would grumble under his breath throughout it. I do go to Christian rituals and am well behaved in them. Does any of this matter in our relationship? Not yet. And I hope it never does.

I dont date republicans. We would argue too much.

I have clear beliefs in how children should be raised. I would be hard pressed to date someone who did not honor this with my child, and if the way they raised their own children was deemed detrimental to the child by me, I would not be able to continue the relationship.

In my last year of drinking way back in the 80s, I actually dated someone who was racist. I talk about that as being one of my "bottoms". I could not do that now.

The biggest issue for me to overcome, is not religions or money or politics. Its animals. I am an avid animal lover. I smell of horse every chance I get. I have dog drool everywhere in my house. Cat fur clings to me like magnets. I am an animal lover. If someone did not like animals, especially animals in the house, that would be a deal breaker for me. And if they resented me rescuing animals, well, it would end quickly.

Corkey · 04-11-2012, 06:27 PM

My short answer, no. There is something to be said for a peaceful home. That being said neither of us think exactly alike, but at our core we have the same values, morals, and political leanings. I think it's the word significant that puts a wrench in it for me.

BullDog · 04-11-2012, 06:34 PM

As Belle has said, we do have very different religious and spiritual beliefs and it isn't a problem at all for us. I did grow up in a Christian household so I do understand the personal and day-to-day level of it and not just as an organized religion.

I honestly cannot imagine being with someone who was politically Conservative or had a very different value system than me.

04-11-2012, 05:06 PM	#3
laruss Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She or Goddess Relationship Status: Settled in Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Edmonton Alberta Posts: 1,322 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,849 Thanked 5,329 Times in 1,045 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	It depends on the person. I have been in relationships with people who have similar beliefs and some who have had very different beliefs. It comes down to respect of the individual. I had a harder time with one person who supposedly had the same beliefs, as they kept putting words in my mouth, answering things for me and just assuming we were exactly the same in our thinking. One person with the very different beliefs was a great debater and we agreed to disagree on many things, it worked for us. So my answer would be yes I would as long as they were respectful and they would need to have some idea of Spirit and our connectedness. __________________ Creativity is a drug I can't do without. -Cecil B. DeMille

04-11-2012, 05:11 PM	#4
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,656 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I should amend this to say... I should amend mine to say I could not date a blatant bigot. Misogynistic, sexist, racist....these are not attractive viewpoints. So, within reason, I appreciate people with different views from my own. I'm from Oklahoma, for goodness sake, if I only hung out with people like me, I'd be up shit creek, as they say. __________________ Small business owners around the world use microfinance to help expand their businesses and provide for their families. You can help! Click here to learn about Kiva.

04-11-2012, 05:48 PM	#5
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I am not Christian but chrissy is very much Christian. He went to college to be a minister, in fact. Does he press his religious outlook on me? Not at all. Does he live by his religious outlook and not just mouth the words? Yes. I respect him so much for being a believer and a do-er in his faith. He, however, struggles with my paganism and my supernatural beliefs. He doesnt believe in psychics, yet my daughter is one. He doesnt believe in tarot, yet I read cards. He certainly doesnt believe in reincarnation, but I am sure of it. Would he go to a ritual with me? MMM...probably but would not respect it like I would wish he would. In other words, I think he would grumble under his breath throughout it. I do go to Christian rituals and am well behaved in them. Does any of this matter in our relationship? Not yet. And I hope it never does. I dont date republicans. We would argue too much. I have clear beliefs in how children should be raised. I would be hard pressed to date someone who did not honor this with my child, and if the way they raised their own children was deemed detrimental to the child by me, I would not be able to continue the relationship. In my last year of drinking way back in the 80s, I actually dated someone who was racist. I talk about that as being one of my "bottoms". I could not do that now. The biggest issue for me to overcome, is not religions or money or politics. Its animals. I am an avid animal lover. I smell of horse every chance I get. I have dog drool everywhere in my house. Cat fur clings to me like magnets. I am an animal lover. If someone did not like animals, especially animals in the house, that would be a deal breaker for me. And if they resented me rescuing animals, well, it would end quickly. __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

04-11-2012, 06:27 PM	#6
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	My short answer, no. There is something to be said for a peaceful home. That being said neither of us think exactly alike, but at our core we have the same values, morals, and political leanings. I think it's the word significant that puts a wrench in it for me. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

04-11-2012, 06:34 PM	#7
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	As Belle has said, we do have very different religious and spiritual beliefs and it isn't a problem at all for us. I did grow up in a Christian household so I do understand the personal and day-to-day level of it and not just as an organized religion. I honestly cannot imagine being with someone who was politically Conservative or had a very different value system than me. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-11-2012, 01:28 PM	#2
Ciaran Member How Do You Identify?: Altocalciphilic Preferred Pronoun?: Papa Smurf Relationship Status: Curmudgeonous spinster Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: London (but from Belfast) Posts: 678 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 471 Thanked 3,654 Times in 602 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Would I date someone with significantly different beliefs? Yes, unless their beliefs were, in my opinion, very distasteful. What I view as "very distasteful" is potentially different from the views of many others - our differences in opinions make the world a sometimes vibrant, energetic and interesting place. Differences, within reason, are fine and, in my experience, they can be good for relationships. Certainly, I've usually had better relationships with people who've had different views from my own .......... after all, although I'm a socially conservative right-winger, I can't think of anything worse than dating another one.