Making Peace with Exes

morningstar55 · 04-14-2012, 10:30 AM

some ya can......... some ya can't

Sachita · 04-14-2012, 10:37 AM

I have not had that many serious relationships, however there is a collection of people I dated where we decided we were better off as friends. If I liked you enough to date you then chances are you're a great friend.

I have two people that were more serious and for whatever reasons we just can't maintain a friendship. I try but the reason for us breaking up looms over and makes it difficult for me to trust them. There is a reason why they are ex's and this is often difficult to get beyond.

bkisbutchenuff · 04-17-2012, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55

some ya can......... some ya can't

enuff said!

mariamma · 04-17-2012, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bkisbutchenuff

enuff said!

I came here looking for some eloquence. Frankly, enuff said! may be perfect. Now if I can only get him to never speak to me again. I just started talking to my 9 years ago ex without yelling.

Ravenouss · 07-13-2012, 07:07 PM

Most of my exes are very close to me. They are "aunties" to my children, good friends to my wife, family to my family, best friends to me. That makes me feel really lucky and blessed.

A couple are gone from my life, and I feel lucky and blessed by that too.

spritzerJ · 07-13-2012, 07:56 PM

Inserting standard, No Exes Mentioned are Members here, statement...

I've a few exes. I won't rehash them all just the notables.

First ex I am not friends with. We tried at the end but we didn't have much to talk about. Life was pulling us in opposite directions. It was a fast and furious relationship of the uhaul quickly variety. We broke up. She did rehab, I moved away. I learned a lot and hope she did too.

One I am friends with. It took a long time to get to that place. Hurt feelings, strong personalities and all that to work through. She was who I was with when I had the General. I thought she'd be more "parent" like even at the end. It didn't go that way. Which has turned out fine. It has worked out so that the General has someone that still loves her and shares camping and wonderful experiences a couple times a year now. That Ex and I respect each others privacy and our friendship is based on mutual respect for the place they hold in the General's life.

Another I am not friends with. I tried, was just trying. Somethings do not change. (I am NOT saying people don't. I've experienced people that have.) We can't be friends because I can not trust her and the evidence supports that feeling. She showed up recently trying to make amends, show she is sorry, be friends. I think she is really trying. It has been 2 weeks of trying the friend route and I am exhausted and had more drama that I've had in months. She still has much to learn about boundaries and being appropriate. And I am not in the mood to teach that skill. She is obsessive about the General and that is just odd. Given the small span of time she was in the General's life it isn't appropriate. The General isn't comfy, I'm not comfy and my gy is super not comfy. With this one, I let go of the need to make the friends thing work just to see myself as capable of forgiving. I moved on and it is okay.

04-14-2012, 10:30 AM	#1
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	some ya can......... some ya can't __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

04-14-2012, 10:37 AM	#2
Sachita Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Goddess Relationship Status: Completely in love Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Southern Virginia Posts: 3,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,564 Thanked 8,992 Times in 2,247 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I have not had that many serious relationships, however there is a collection of people I dated where we decided we were better off as friends. If I liked you enough to date you then chances are you're a great friend. I have two people that were more serious and for whatever reasons we just can't maintain a friendship. I try but the reason for us breaking up looms over and makes it difficult for me to trust them. There is a reason why they are ex's and this is often difficult to get beyond. __________________ You either like me or you don't. It took me Twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don't have that kinda time to convince somebody else. ~ Daniel Franzese

07-13-2012, 07:07 PM	#5
Ravenouss Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: There might be many princesses in a kingdom, but only one Queen! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Washington, D.C. Posts: 62 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 121 Thanked 129 Times in 40 Posts Rep Power: 1644236	Most of my exes are very close to me. They are "aunties" to my children, good friends to my wife, family to my family, best friends to me. That makes me feel really lucky and blessed. A couple are gone from my life, and I feel lucky and blessed by that too. __________________ A chacun sa chimere... Baudelaire

07-13-2012, 07:56 PM	#6
spritzerJ Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: Queer (gender), female (biological marker) Preferred Pronoun?: she will work as a default. Relationship Status: engaged to jac until 8/10/14 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Maine Posts: 3,154 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,307 Thanked 15,802 Times in 2,905 Posts Rep Power: 0	Inserting standard, No Exes Mentioned are Members here, statement... I've a few exes. I won't rehash them all just the notables. First ex I am not friends with. We tried at the end but we didn't have much to talk about. Life was pulling us in opposite directions. It was a fast and furious relationship of the uhaul quickly variety. We broke up. She did rehab, I moved away. I learned a lot and hope she did too. One I am friends with. It took a long time to get to that place. Hurt feelings, strong personalities and all that to work through. She was who I was with when I had the General. I thought she'd be more "parent" like even at the end. It didn't go that way. Which has turned out fine. It has worked out so that the General has someone that still loves her and shares camping and wonderful experiences a couple times a year now. That Ex and I respect each others privacy and our friendship is based on mutual respect for the place they hold in the General's life. Another I am not friends with. I tried, was just trying. Somethings do not change. (I am NOT saying people don't. I've experienced people that have.) We can't be friends because I can not trust her and the evidence supports that feeling. She showed up recently trying to make amends, show she is sorry, be friends. I think she is really trying. It has been 2 weeks of trying the friend route and I am exhausted and had more drama that I've had in months. She still has much to learn about boundaries and being appropriate. And I am not in the mood to teach that skill. She is obsessive about the General and that is just odd. Given the small span of time she was in the General's life it isn't appropriate. The General isn't comfy, I'm not comfy and my gy is super not comfy. With this one, I let go of the need to make the friends thing work just to see myself as capable of forgiving. I moved on and it is okay.