Breaking up

Morgan · 04-14-2012, 01:01 PM

I am finally able to share my grief, it took me along time to come to grips with my feelings. I lost my job and my relationship at the same time, so it was a double whammy....I traveled all over the US, hopping from one place to the next, trying to stuff my grief. I burned a lot of bridges along the way and I am so sorry for that, it was not fair...I do not blame anyone for being angry and hurt by my lack of empathy. I also made some good friends along the way and I will always cherish their love and support on my journey. Love and breaking up, makes us do some crazy shit...as time goes on I can finally see my grief and yes it is process. I am not sure about the process as I am not a grief counselor, but I have had a chance to process my feeling and come to terms with the fact my relationship is over. I am starting a new life and have found someone special I can share with and hopefully a new life....a new journey and a new beginning.

~ocean · 04-14-2012, 02:17 PM

I cant help but wonder if we learn from our mistakes.... or r we prone to just repeat them.. Head the warnings signs in yourself .. noone can complete you.. noone can make ur life . we r all soo responsiable for ourselves, u can't share what is broken.
Love and hugs (((((( everyone))))) to anyone whos tears have not , yet dried up ..

SleepyButch · 06-11-2012, 07:58 PM

I think that sometimes you do not see the warning signs until it is already over. Blinded.. maybe. Don't want to see them.. maybe... Stupid.. perhaps... should have been over long time ago.. who knows..

We are all human and of course we grieve any relationship, just some to different extremes. Like when I had to put my dog to sleep, three years ago now.. I still grieve over that at times. Past gfs.. not as long as that lol.

I think this community definitely comes together when someone is in need and the support is definitely helpful when getting through those grieving stages.

~ocean · 06-11-2012, 08:42 PM

my opinion is there is no right way to break up .. always hurt .. just be fair to one another .. and heal b4 u take on another relationship ..

DMW · 06-11-2012, 08:48 PM

OUCH

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch

Oiler41 · 06-11-2012, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

my opinion is there is no right way to break up .. always hurt .. just be fair to one another .. and heal b4 u take on another relationship ..

I agree with this; there is no right or really even a good way to break up; but long after the grief has subsided, you will be left with one question: Did I do what was RIGHT during the breakup? Be fair and do what is right, and it doesn't take a lot of soul searching to know what is right, even in the midst of grief and perhaps anger. Eventually, once the hurt/anger is past (sometimes longer periods of time than others) a friendship might be able to be had. But if you are unfair and just downright wrong in your breakup dealings, you can probably count on the other party never wanting to have anything to do with you again.

Glynn

Apocalipstic · 06-11-2012, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oiler41

I agree with this; there is no right or really even a good way to break up; but long after the grief has subsided, you will be left with one question: Did I do what was RIGHT during the breakup? Be fair and do what is right, and it doesn't take a lot of soul searching to know what is right, even in the midst of grief and perhaps anger. Eventually, once the hurt/anger is past (sometimes longer periods of time than others) a friendship might be able to be had. But if you are unfair and just downright wrong in your breakup dealings, you can probably count on the other party never wanting to have anything to do with you again.

Glynn

Great and important post.

We do need to do what is right, we can't expect straight people to honor our relationships if we end ours by chopping up sofas and catching them on fire.

Seriously. Be decent. Do the things you agreed you would. Fulfill your obligations, work to avoid related fall out drama.

04-14-2012, 01:01 PM	#1
Morgan Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, hy, hym, does not matter Relationship Status: I am enjoying life.... Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Arizona Posts: 643 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,753 Thanked 1,604 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I am finally able to share my grief, it took me along time to come to grips with my feelings. I lost my job and my relationship at the same time, so it was a double whammy....I traveled all over the US, hopping from one place to the next, trying to stuff my grief. I burned a lot of bridges along the way and I am so sorry for that, it was not fair...I do not blame anyone for being angry and hurt by my lack of empathy. I also made some good friends along the way and I will always cherish their love and support on my journey. Love and breaking up, makes us do some crazy shit...as time goes on I can finally see my grief and yes it is process. I am not sure about the process as I am not a grief counselor, but I have had a chance to process my feeling and come to terms with the fact my relationship is over. I am starting a new life and have found someone special I can share with and hopefully a new life....a new journey and a new beginning. __________________ “If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” Robert Fritz Last edited by Morgan; 04-14-2012 at 01:10 PM.

04-14-2012, 02:17 PM	#2
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,015 Times in 4,724 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I cant help but wonder if we learn from our mistakes.... or r we prone to just repeat them.. Head the warnings signs in yourself .. noone can complete you.. noone can make ur life . we r all soo responsiable for ourselves, u can't share what is broken. Love and hugs (((((( everyone))))) to anyone whos tears have not , yet dried up ..

06-11-2012, 07:58 PM	#3
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think that sometimes you do not see the warning signs until it is already over. Blinded.. maybe. Don't want to see them.. maybe... Stupid.. perhaps... should have been over long time ago.. who knows.. We are all human and of course we grieve any relationship, just some to different extremes. Like when I had to put my dog to sleep, three years ago now.. I still grieve over that at times. Past gfs.. not as long as that lol. I think this community definitely comes together when someone is in need and the support is definitely helpful when getting through those grieving stages.

06-11-2012, 08:42 PM	#4
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,015 Times in 4,724 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	my opinion is there is no right way to break up .. always hurt .. just be fair to one another .. and heal b4 u take on another relationship ..

06-11-2012, 08:48 PM	#5
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,857 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	OUCH ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch