Struggling to come to terms......

blush · 04-15-2012, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queerasfck

Not to be a buzz kill, as I do agree it's nice to find other people "like you" when you are first trying to come out or find your way. But honestly, sometimes the path of self discovery and acceptance is not easy for some and it can take years and years of baby steps. Because of the world we live in--I'm sure we've all seen a lot of brothers and sisters suffering with self-hate, living in fear of family members, friends, employers finding out they are gay, bi, trans, queer, whatever/however they i.d. moreover, sometimes because of the journey and what it entails people get depressed, angry, withdrawn, and even worse. The online community is important. I just feel like sometimes people who are struggling need more and many of the answers they are looking for can't be found in the frivolity of surfing around online. Advice found online could be like a band-aid for someone who has a bullet wound.
Giving our perspectives and sharing our stories is great but I don't know what kind of answers it could give anyone who is really lost.

This was not my experience at all. If you live in a small community or simply don't know where or how to find resources or people, online communities are a viable resource.

Queerasfck · 04-15-2012, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

Dear Buzz kill....

If this thread saves one LIFE because they feel like they have no place else to go but 6 feet under... then THANK YOU ALL FOR stepping forward and telling your story!!!

I personally have known many people that came online to research and read stories of others to take that journey of DISCOVERING who they are...

The answers this can give someone may lie in ONE post...

Maybe so Strappie, maybe so. All I'm saying is that it is possible that someone might need additional help and or support. That's all I meant. Definitely people here have stories to tell and there are many threads that have coming out stories in them. I also think sometimes it's just as therapeutic for us to tell our stories as it would be for some newbie to read it. I would think it's best to have a balance in the coming out process of an online community and the real time world if possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

This was not my experience at all. If you live in a small community or simply don't know where or how to find resources or people, online communities are a viable resource.

Very good point Blush.

clay · 04-15-2012, 10:32 PM

Excellent thread, Strappie!! I have started mine, but my eyes are tired...I am "old"...lol..so have cut n pasted mine to save and will be back later to post it..thanks, my friend..we can always learn...no matter what our ages or lot in life or place we are at, right? I know I can, and do!!! Daily!!!

Strappie · 04-15-2012, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queerasfck

Maybe so Strappie, maybe so. All I'm saying is that it is possible that someone might need additional help and or support. That's all I meant. Definitely people here have stories to tell and there are many threads that have coming out stories in them. I also think sometimes it's just as therapeutic for us to tell our stories as it would be for some newbie to read it. I would think it's best to have a balance in the coming out process of an online community and the real time world if possible.

Very good point Blush.

I don't disagree with you about additional help. You said it your self... Baby steps... this thread could be a baby step in their discovery. Some people may not have the resources or funds to get the help they would like to get. Not everyone is fortunate like us to have a job and insurance to pay for those resources.

genghisfawn · 04-15-2012, 10:46 PM

Struggling with identity and how one fits into queer spaces is something I suspect everyone who isn't completely het, cis and vanilla has dealt with. I came out at 14 and got involved in my community, thus avoiding a deep depression and the suicide I'd threatened. When I was 21, I met a straight, cisgendered man and fell madly in love... but I never relented in how I IDed, and he, being a respectful, loving person (unicorn?) never objected and comfortably coexisted with my friends and community through respect and questions, questions, questions. We didn't last due to a lack of staying power, but what I took away from that is that there are so many ways of being that belong to what is queer, and that only a person hirself can truly identify hirself.

It's okay to be queer and accept the incredible complexity of being a person with a body, heart, mind and spirit... All of these things require care and respect. I hope anyone reading this thread who needs it comes away with an understanding that ze is the architect of hir own self and presentation, and whatever that happens to be is worthy of care.

04-15-2012, 10:32 PM	#3
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,666 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	^5 my friend! Excellent thread, Strappie!! I have started mine, but my eyes are tired...I am "old"...lol..so have cut n pasted mine to save and will be back later to post it..thanks, my friend..we can always learn...no matter what our ages or lot in life or place we are at, right? I know I can, and do!!! Daily!!! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

04-15-2012, 10:46 PM	#5
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Struggling with identity and how one fits into queer spaces is something I suspect everyone who isn't completely het, cis and vanilla has dealt with. I came out at 14 and got involved in my community, thus avoiding a deep depression and the suicide I'd threatened. When I was 21, I met a straight, cisgendered man and fell madly in love... but I never relented in how I IDed, and he, being a respectful, loving person (unicorn?) never objected and comfortably coexisted with my friends and community through respect and questions, questions, questions. We didn't last due to a lack of staying power, but what I took away from that is that there are so many ways of being that belong to what is queer, and that only a person hirself can truly identify hirself. It's okay to be queer and accept the incredible complexity of being a person with a body, heart, mind and spirit... All of these things require care and respect. I hope anyone reading this thread who needs it comes away with an understanding that ze is the architect of hir own self and presentation, and whatever that happens to be is worthy of care.