What do YOU need to feel loved?

Ginger · 04-28-2012, 09:48 AM

To feel loved, I need to feel seen clearly and listened to. I need to feel trusted. I also need to know that I am a priority in that person's life, and that my safety, comfort and well being are a factor in her and our decisions. I need to be part of a long-term plan, that we make together. I want to feel that she is happy to see me when I walk in the door, and is sad to see me leave for little trips or whatever. I need to feel confided in, and I need her to be a confidante for me.

Not so outrageous, these expectations, but not so easy to find, either.

Nomad · 08-19-2012, 02:58 PM

- self respect makes it possible for me to feel loved. that's a definite need. maybe we concentrate too little on that sometimes. losing it certainly brings things into focus.

- healthy, well balanced Dominance makes me to feel loved. so much so that i cant engage without it. not a popular answer maybe. dont know. dont care. Dominance from someone who is made up of equal parts respect for themselves and for me, consistency between words and actions, decisiveness, trustworthiness, honesty without fail, compassion, a healthy dose of humility, self-awareness, open mindedness, and the ability to be a mentor and friend, all with a vein of humor running through the mix makes me feel loved.

*might as well add that if someone cant show me those qualities outside the bedroom there's no point in making an effort to get inside the bedroom. i stopped defining sex as love a long time ago.

Bard · 08-19-2012, 03:02 PM

all i need is to be taken for who I am not who they may wish I could be to be respected and cared for .. I found all of this in my Desd all I really need is her .. her arms around me make me feel like I am home .. she makes my heart smile

Corkey · 08-19-2012, 05:20 PM

a smile from my girl
I'm a simple man.

LesboNascarFan · 08-19-2012, 06:10 PM

Hmmm...
I need my partner to let me know that I exist and am special to her. It would make my day to get replies to my texts or even send an occasional text to let me know you are thinking of me.

Have open communication. Talk to me when something is bothering you or you are having a bad day and hear me out when I have to talk to you about something or I have a bad day.

Hold my hand, hug me, kiss me, look into my eyes and tell me you love me..show me your love as I will show you how much I love you. Even when we are angry with each other, we still need to hug and kiss our goodbyes for the day.

Treat me with respect as I will treat you like you are the center of my universe.

I know..too much...maybe that is why I have noone special in my life right now.

*Anya* · 08-19-2012, 06:13 PM

“Becoming real happens when someone loves you for a long, long time...generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

~The Velveteen Rabbit~

To feel loved, I just need to be able to be Real.

Vivacious1 · 08-19-2012, 08:52 PM

Honestly, I think I am pretty simple but most have said too high maintainence! I want to be protected, respected, honored and cherished. (and spoiled sometimes) *s I want someone to stand up to me when I need that and to just listen when I don't and someone that knows the difference. Don't say you like me one way and change your mind later. Be secure in yourself and with me. Be confident, not cocky. Finish my sentence, when I can't. Hold me when I don't know what I need. Be strong for me when I feel weak. Don't tell me what I can't do, help me to do them. Look at me like I am the only woman in the room. Touch me softly, just to let me know your there. Don't grope me.... Don't try to buy me, share life with me. You don't need to put me above you.... just walk beside me. I am old fashioned in some ways, I will take the best care of you... always let me know how valued I am.

alexri · 08-20-2012, 07:21 PM

Gonna take a different approach here...

I need someone who doesn't buy into the Jerry McGuire "you complete me" bullsh*t. You don't complete me. I am complete by myself. You complement me. You help me see things in myself that I didn't see. You bring out great things in me, and I do that for you too.

I need someone really, really, close... who will occasionally leave me alone. We don't have to do every single thing together. We don't have to have 100% of the same hobbies, friends and interests. I hate it when couples morph into this "one" thing and the individuals lose their identity. I expect to have individual activities with or without other friends involved. That's not to say that if your idea of a hobby is robbing liquor stores or blowing the family fortune at the casino that it's okay.. obvious issues there. But if you love to knit and I want to poke my eye out, or I like to do races and you wouldn't run if a lion was chasing you, I don't expect you to take up a hobby I have or go to an event I like if you have no interest. I need alone time and buddy bonding time.

And I need chocolate. Just sayin.

08-19-2012, 03:02 PM	#3
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	all i need is to be taken for who I am not who they may wish I could be to be respected and cared for .. I found all of this in my Desd all I really need is her .. her arms around me make me feel like I am home .. she makes my heart smile __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

08-19-2012, 05:20 PM	#4
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	a smile from my girl I'm a simple man. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

08-19-2012, 06:13 PM	#6
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,446 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	“Becoming real happens when someone loves you for a long, long time...generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” ~The Velveteen Rabbit~ To feel loved, I just need to be able to be Real. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

08-19-2012, 08:52 PM	#7
Vivacious1 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme Relationship Status: taken Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Louisiana Posts: 220 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 195 Thanked 795 Times in 178 Posts Rep Power: 6042526	Let's see; Honestly, I think I am pretty simple but most have said too high maintainence! I want to be protected, respected, honored and cherished. (and spoiled sometimes) *s I want someone to stand up to me when I need that and to just listen when I don't and someone that knows the difference. Don't say you like me one way and change your mind later. Be secure in yourself and with me. Be confident, not cocky. Finish my sentence, when I can't. Hold me when I don't know what I need. Be strong for me when I feel weak. Don't tell me what I can't do, help me to do them. Look at me like I am the only woman in the room. Touch me softly, just to let me know your there. Don't grope me.... Don't try to buy me, share life with me. You don't need to put me above you.... just walk beside me. I am old fashioned in some ways, I will take the best care of you... always let me know how valued I am. __________________ Well behaved women rarely make history ...

04-28-2012, 09:48 AM	#1
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,295 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	To feel loved, I need to feel seen clearly and listened to. I need to feel trusted. I also need to know that I am a priority in that person's life, and that my safety, comfort and well being are a factor in her and our decisions. I need to be part of a long-term plan, that we make together. I want to feel that she is happy to see me when I walk in the door, and is sad to see me leave for little trips or whatever. I need to feel confided in, and I need her to be a confidante for me. Not so outrageous, these expectations, but not so easy to find, either.

08-19-2012, 02:58 PM	#2
Nomad Timed Out How Do You Identify?: stone femme Daddy's girl Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: disinterested Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: in my head Posts: 991 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,848 Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts Rep Power: 0	- self respect makes it possible for me to feel loved. that's a definite need. maybe we concentrate too little on that sometimes. losing it certainly brings things into focus. - healthy, well balanced Dominance makes me to feel loved. so much so that i cant engage without it. not a popular answer maybe. dont know. dont care. Dominance from someone who is made up of equal parts respect for themselves and for me, consistency between words and actions, decisiveness, trustworthiness, honesty without fail, compassion, a healthy dose of humility, self-awareness, open mindedness, and the ability to be a mentor and friend, all with a vein of humor running through the mix makes me feel loved. might as well add that if someone cant show me those qualities outside* the bedroom there's no point in making an effort to get inside the bedroom. i stopped defining sex as love a long time ago.

08-19-2012, 06:10 PM	#5
LesboNascarFan Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 73 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 126 Thanked 207 Times in 58 Posts Rep Power: 1816569	Hmmm... I need my partner to let me know that I exist and am special to her. It would make my day to get replies to my texts or even send an occasional text to let me know you are thinking of me. Have open communication. Talk to me when something is bothering you or you are having a bad day and hear me out when I have to talk to you about something or I have a bad day. Hold my hand, hug me, kiss me, look into my eyes and tell me you love me..show me your love as I will show you how much I love you. Even when we are angry with each other, we still need to hug and kiss our goodbyes for the day. Treat me with respect as I will treat you like you are the center of my universe. I know..too much...maybe that is why I have noone special in my life right now.

08-20-2012, 07:21 PM	#8
alexri Member How Do You Identify?: - Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: - Posts: 549 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,209 Thanked 2,799 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Gonna take a different approach here... I need someone who doesn't buy into the Jerry McGuire "you complete me" bullsh*t. You don't complete me. I am complete by myself. You complement me. You help me see things in myself that I didn't see. You bring out great things in me, and I do that for you too. I need someone really, really, close... who will occasionally leave me alone. We don't have to do every single thing together. We don't have to have 100% of the same hobbies, friends and interests. I hate it when couples morph into this "one" thing and the individuals lose their identity. I expect to have individual activities with or without other friends involved. That's not to say that if your idea of a hobby is robbing liquor stores or blowing the family fortune at the casino that it's okay.. obvious issues there. But if you love to knit and I want to poke my eye out, or I like to do races and you wouldn't run if a lion was chasing you, I don't expect you to take up a hobby I have or go to an event I like if you have no interest. I need alone time and buddy bonding time. And I need chocolate. Just sayin.