Allergies/Sensitivities - The Social Responsibility?

[canadianmusician]

I have anaphylactic allergies. Peanuts, all treenuts and tomatoes.

In terms of tomatoes, I can't touch them, but I can be around them if the person eating is in far enough distance.

Peanuts and nuts, I stay FAR away from. And believe me, people have been quite ignorant. Even with my tomato allergy. Servers have asked "Is ketchup or BBQ sauce ok?" Oi.

I was dog sitting for a friend. I went to her place the night before she left as she was leaving at 6am. It was about 7pm, and I needed to look something up so she let me jump on her computer, which she'd been on earlier. I felt my lips start to tingle, got red spots on my hands and my throat was getting tight. I asked her if she had any peanuts she might have left out and she informed me she had eaten a snickers bar when she was on the computer and thought it wouldn't harm me if I didn't know and she ate it quietly, disposed of wrapper and washed her hands. I ended up in the ER and she had to delay her trip by a couple of days until I was well enough to dog sit. This wasn't the first time she made a mistake, and she wasn't the last person to make a mistake. The last landed me in the hospital again only this time I needed an extra dose of epinephrin, injectable diphenhydramine, on an IV and a nebulizer of salbutamol and steroids.


The problem with peanuts and nuts, is that they have very potent oils in them. When you smell peanuts, you're not just smelling the food, you're inhaling the essence of them. My allergist is with the AAAI and has won many awards, taught in universities and done LOADS of research in immunology. He's taught me so much and if not for him and the stuff he's informed me about, I would be dead.

I fully agree with banning peanuts from schools. Kids are kids. They share pens, participate in sports together, rough house with each other, they have physical contact. Let's say I didn't have an allergy and someone else's kid did. My kid just ate a bag of peanuts at lunch and forgot to wash their hands, they go and give your kid a high five. Your kid goes into shock and dies. Sounds extreme, but it is very possible.

Some people want to complain about peanut/nut allergies and how they have to 'be careful'. A persons life would be far more complicated if they were claiming their space as a peanut eater and the person next to them drops dead from a reaction.

I rarely eat at other people's houses and I only will if I really, truly trust them and know for a fact they know how to be safe. I usually make a joke about it. "I know it sucks having to go to all the trouble, but I think there'll be more trouble if I'm on your floor..." and it always gets a laugh.

A place I'm on the board of directors for had a 'social bonding time' at one of the other board members places, who happens to be a doctor. There's also another doctor on the board, so I had two at hand in case anything went down at dinner lol Of course, all I had to worry about was tomatoes as there were no peanuts or nuts there.....but the theme was Mexican, so my anxiety was way up lol

If I date someone, they have to give up peanuts and nuts, because the oils remain in the skin and mouth for a day or so, despite flossing and brushing. It is far too risky. Tomatoes, they could eat, but not if they want to get intimate that night lol. My home is peanut/nut/tomato free and always will be. There are alternatives, I have soybutter instead of peanut butter and make a killer chicken 'satay' with it I eat roasted soybeans and order my trailmix from NoNuttin, a company here in BC.

I carry my own little allergy kit. Epipen, benadryl, inhaler. I have a medicalert bracelet.

In terms of scent allergies, I understand those, but it is impossible to avoid. Many health centres here are scent free. But if you go to someone's home, you take that chance of being exposed to a scent, or any other allergen. The only thing we can truly control, is what goes into our own homes.

Food...there are restaurants I know I just shouldn't go to. I was upset when one of my favourite local small restaurants incorporated peanuts into their milkshakes, desserts and some of their food. I had to stop going there. But I adjust, I research, I do all I can to stay safe.

[aishah]

Originally Posted by canadianmusician

In terms of scent allergies, I understand those, but it is impossible to avoid. Many health centres here are scent free. But if you go to someone's home, you take that chance of being exposed to a scent, or any other allergen. The only thing we can truly control, is what goes into our own homes.

i agree. for people with mild or moderate mcs it is possible to go into spaces if there's been an effort to make the space scent-free, but for a friend of mine with severe mcs, she has to wear a gas mask all of the time essentially, and even then taking in chemicals through skin and mucus membranes causes a reaction for her, though the mask does help. we're in the process of traveling together to a conference and trying to figure out the best way to make our personal space while we're staying there scent-free because she has to at least have some place she can go where she can take off her mask. usually that would be one's home. but it can be hard for partners who don't understand...my partner is starting to make the transition to unscented products now. it's also a problem when around family or friends who don't take it seriously. most of my friends with more severe mcs are pretty socially isolated because of it.

but, like...if the church i go to instituted a scent-free policy where they got rid of scented soap and air fresheners and encouraged folks to not use cologne/perfume, church would be much more bearable for me and other people who have mcs. as it is i'm considering buying a mask because that's one of the most highly toxic places i go on a regular basis. obviously the detergent folks are using and the cleaners used to clean the church are still toxic but the level of chemicals would be somewhat more tolerable for my body. when i'm at my sister's house, i spend most of the time feeling physically like crap because she refuses not to use scented candles and air fresheners. etc. it's not just public space that's the issue (i accept it as a fact of life when i go into public spaces) but also private spaces and community spaces. it really frustrates me when people who are supposedly working around disability issues or who are involved in social justice movements and supposedly want to build community together with me (and friends with mcs) just completely disregard this, because it's basically excluding a lot of people. and it makes me angry that it's treated as a preference or something when it is an actual allergy and it has physical consequences for our health. a friend of mine recently went to a social justice event where the organizers allowed the use of flash cameras and she told them she was going to get a seizure if they didn't ask people to turn the flash off and she got a seizure and they acted put out - but said they wanted her there (she's a well-known writer and activist). to me, if someone cares about me or wants my presence in their life it should be an issue. but i'm beginning to accept that i'm going to have to just wear a mask more often because people's desire to wear scents is more important than other people's health. i'm in the process of becoming more assertive about these issues with folks in my life, but it's something that i accepted for so long as part of the norm (not having access and having to overcompensate myself) and i'm used to being the doormat/peacemaker so taking on that role when it comes to my health is difficult. it's hard to get people to understand that their preference (wearing scents or organizing things that are up huge flights of stairs) means i'm not going to be able to get out of bed the next day or week because of pain. i'm used to accepting that their preference is more important than my health and working on changing that over the last few years has been good for me health-wise but really difficult emotionally, especially with social anxieties and misunderstanding.

i can't believe your friend did that with the snickers bar, though - i mean, eating it before you got there and then trying to hide it and pretend it wouldn't be a problem, knowing that you can't be in spaces where peanuts have been. that to me is incredibly insensitive. :\ i can't wrap my mind around how people can think their desire to consume peanuts is somehow more important than a child's right to not go into anaphylactic shock on the playground. our individualistic society has gone to a ridiculous extreme of just not caring about each other's needs AT ALL, so much of the time. wanting to eat peanuts should not be more important than someone's right to be in a community space like a school or even a public space without dying or having a severe allergic reaction.

[Apocalipstic]

I have allergies.

I am 48 years old and yes, I am allergic to peanuts and a ton of other shit.

When I was a kid I had allergies and was sick non-stop, but back then no one really cared and they just told me to deal. If it got really bad I got a shot or breathing treatments. My entire childhood was spent sick. I had no idea what I was even allergic to, and most people would insist I was faking.

As an adult I take allergy and asthma medicine and avoid things I know I am allergic to. Sometimes a friend will laugh at me or make a remark and I just swallow it.

I make as small of a deal about it as I can.

I don't ever ask anyone else to change what they are doing. if there is too much smoke, I go outside. Turkey for dinner? I just eat veggies. peanuts? I don't eat them. Melons, banannas...don't eat them. Rabbits and horses? Avoid. Hay? avoid when I can. and on and on.

I try to not spend the night away from home that much becasue I am allergic to most laundry stuff and need detergent for sensitive skin.

Yes, some people go overboard, but some people are pretty hurtful complaining about other people's allergies.

We don't have allergies to inconvenience you. It's not pretend.

As long as you are OK with my asthma attacks when I come in contact with something I am allergic to I don't even know is there, you can hang out with me.

And I don't care who you are, don't invite me to fucking Logan's, or anywhere else there are peanuts everywhere. And if you do? and I don;t go...don't talk about how I won't go anywhere any more.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Kobi

If a kid at a school has such a sensitivity that all peanuts and peanut vapors in a 10 mile radius (exaggeration here)need to be eliminated, it is reasonable for your child to be tutored at home or attend school via teleconferencing. That seems to be a reasonable compromise.

I read a story not too long ago about a girl who uses a robot to 'attend' school due to her heightened allergies. This is absolutely an option.

http://denver.cbslocal.com/2011/10/2...ous-allergies/

Originally Posted by Linus

So I have a question: if the smell of food is making her sick, what does she eat? I realize how sensitive odour allergies can be but I have to say this is a first. I would suggest to management that perhaps telecommuting might be a better option for this employee so that they can better control their work environment (i.e., home) if it is that extreme.

Originally Posted by Medusa

Ha! Good point! I get that sometimes people heat up really odorous things in the microwave and that it can sometimes be really foul (hello! fish in curry sauce!) but I gotta say that she seems to be sensitive to even the "smell" of hot tea. It was suggested to her to just work from home all the time and her reponse was that she wanted an office so that she could shut her door.

We'll see where it goes!

Something 'smells' ba dum BUM with this lady.

Originally Posted by Linus

Could she being going beyond what she is actually experiencing just to get an office?

Ding, ding, ding!

We have a winner.

[JustJo]

I suspect that Medusa's co-worker is angling for an office, too...what she's doing seems rather extreme. The smell of all food? Really?

Adults, I think, should be capable of managing their allergies and informing people what they need in order to be safe and comfortable. However, there are some times when that just won't work. Reasonable accomodations are...reasonable. Telling people they can't eat any food or ever use any scented product in their everyday work environment...ever...doesn't seem reasonable.

Having said that, I think it's a very different situation when it comes to life-threatening allergies in children. Children need special protection and are not as able to regulate and control their environment...let alone be able to foresee all of the potential dangers.

I was once on a plane where they announced that a child onboard had a severe allergy, so no peanut products would be served and please do not open any peanut products carried on board. I'm a diabetic and the food I had brought with me was....you guessed it...a PB sandwich. I explained my dilemma to the flight attendant (on JetBlue) and she was able to bring me soup and crackers instead. I was perfectly happy with that accomodation, for both the child and for me. Yes, low blood sugar can be serious for me....but I don't need to endanger a child's life so I can eat a particular thing.

I don't tend to wear a lot of scent...it's a light and occasional thing for me. I never wear scent when traveling or to the gym....or when I was taking my mother for chemotherapy appointments. I respect close quarters and sensitivities as much as possible...that's just courtesy.

[aishah]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I read a story not too long ago about a girl who uses a robot to 'attend' school due to her heightened allergies. This is absolutely an option.

http://denver.cbslocal.com/2011/10/2...ous-allergies/

i'm wondering how realistic of an option this is for poor/working class or rural parents and kids, where schools aren't willing to make those kinds of accomodations or pay that much money (if they even have that kind of money). not to mention, in this case, this girl's allergies seem to be more extensive, but in the case of a peanut allergy, i don't feel that it's an unreasonable accommodation to not have peanuts in the school environment - in most cases the school is required to provide the least restrictive environment for the child. not to mention...a robot is nice but it doesn't completely deal with the issue of isolation for the child.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by aishah

i'm wondering how realistic of an option this is for poor/working class or rural parents and kids, where schools aren't willing to make those kinds of accomodations or pay that much money (if they even have that kind of money). not to mention, in this case, this girl's allergies seem to be more extensive, but in the case of a peanut allergy, i don't feel that it's an unreasonable accommodation to not have peanuts in the school environment - in most cases the school is required to provide the least restrictive environment for the child. not to mention...a robot is nice but it doesn't completely deal with the issue of isolation for the child.

I think that the docs and family were thinking along the lines of keeping her alive, first and foremost, and then dealing with social issues later but I see your point. She is pretty restricted as to where she can go and who she can interact with.

I don't know how realistic it is for everyone, but I'm glad it's an option out there for someone in that dire of a situation. For me, if I had medical issues like that, I'd prefer to that to, say, living in a bubble.

This is a guess, but I think that kids in rural areas might not have as many allergies. At least not the ones that can be caused by or aggravated terribly by a lot of the pollution we come in contact with daily. I wish all kids had the experience at least one summer of being able to get out of the city and away from hordes of people and enjoy nature a bit more. Fresh air and more natural surroundings do a body good.

Except if you're allergic to hay, dairy, meat, etc.

[Beloved]

My daughter is allergic to tree nuts but peanuts are ok. The first time she reacted it was really scary. I carry an epipen for her at all times. Nut allergies are so scary because they can be so severe and nuts can be hidden in so many things.

[Random]

Originally Posted by Apocalipstic

Yes, some people go overboard, but some people are pretty hurtful complaining about other people's allergies.

We don't have allergies to inconvenience you. It's not pretend.

As long as you are OK with my asthma attacks when I come in contact with something I am allergic to I don't even know is there, you can hang out with me.

This hits home with me...

I had to *explain* myself to HR when I had an allergy/asthma attack at work... My lead had the cube next to me and had went heavy on her musk that morning... Her need to feel pretty vs my need to breath...

Nothing like being told you just need to suck it up when your airways are closing...