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#1 |
Senior Member
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• Join Date: Jan 2012
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My Mom was a wonderful woman in so many ways -- brilliant yet never arrogant; strong and also quite feminine; courageous and gentle; secure in her own beliefs while respectful of others; steady as a rock but game to try things out of her comfort zone; genuine, loving, kind -- absolutely beautiful both inside and out. I will always miss her physical presence, even so, she is still "with" me in one way or another every day and especially in Springtime. I feel so fortunate that she was my Mother for it's because of her I know how it feels to be loved, accepted and appreciated for exactly who I am.
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#2 |
Senior Member
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Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
Don't let the gal part of my screen name fool ya I,m ALL butch! ![]() Join Date: Jan 2011
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The relationship I had with my mother was loving,we were close.
She accepted me my whole life as i matured and changed... she accepted me always. As she accepted my lil sis who is gay [tweener].and also our partners. We took care of mom these past 4 years upon her diagnosis of dementia,which strengthen a relationship that was already strong. Her humor,kindness and love I miss so much... she passed july 2011. My sister and I were very fortunate to have such an accepting loving lady as our mom. |
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#3 |
Timed Out
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Asshole Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kentucky/Austin/Wherever
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I have a great relationship with my mom. She didnt always make the best choices in our lives when we were little.. and emotionally withdrew quite often (all from her own issues). But she has come along way with all the talks we have had over the yrs. I used to wonder why all my friends wanted my life and my mom *shrugs* guess I didnt show just what was up in our "home".. but I have to give her credit,back then she remembered what it was like not having the best clothes or the like so she would make sure we had the latest threads,(course then we had to move coz no money to pay bills) or maybe it was from something else.. but thats another story not about mom.
as far as my being butch.. its taken awhile. She used to be so unbending on her views when I first was coming out at 19. been alot of back and forth with us over this,it was just recently after I moved her in with me over the last 4 yrs that she has accepted how I feel about who I am. She must have been doing research on it cuz a yr or so ago she asked me who was the top and bottom ![]() And she cracks me up with her new questions all the time now SMH I guess the internet is good ![]() |
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#4 |
Timed Out - Permanent
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other Join Date: Nov 2009
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oh boy.. it just gets more interesting all the time... chuckles... will be back to this when I have some time to really think about it.
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#5 |
Senior Member
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she,her, Relationship Status:
very single Join Date: Nov 2009
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wow hadnt seen this thread in a while....
i have to tell ...... like cuddly ...... my mom n I are like oil and water too. and as well..... anything i have done with my life , jobs , friends, whom i dated.. was not good enough. she likes my art and is proud of that... but feels i need to have a working hard job to have a full filling work thing not a sit down job relaxing. and im serious these are her words and ideas of things. the men are above me...... she will cater to them as like my brothers. she will be there me sometimes... nothing i do is right , she dogs me about my wieght , how i sit, walk, you name it. my life style. there is no pleasing her. i dont know why ..... I put up with her . there are times even lately i will go shopping with her, and she will be ok for a while and sometimes she will start her bashing stuff .. and i have sat there in quiet tears. i dont know why i put myself thru that.. it makes me want to just stop the car and get out. and maybe i should...... that will give her something to think about im sure. ha..but then im sure she will say im being rediculous. she is 77 and very active , still drives and such.. complains about some aches and pains is about it. maybe i am the way i am ... and lack confidence in myself. and never amounted to much.....took 5 yrs of graphic design and well now i i drive a truck.
__________________
-------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets
so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it. |
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#6 |
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she Join Date: Sep 2011
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my momma deserves anything and everything i can give her. when i was a child, i had a great fear of losing her to death. i absolutely didn't see how i could live without her. i'm 45 now and she is 87. i still don't see how i can live without her.
she's doing very well for her age. a strong will. everything she loves, she loves it with a passionate strength. her memory comes and goes, and when i look into her eyes and i don't see that passion, my heart breaks. i grew up with menopause LOL, ... let me tell you, ... that was a whole lot of "what did i do!" but the memories are for keeps. i grew up with nieces and a nephew. two are a couple years older than me. she gave us homemade biscuits and homemade chocolate syrup. the piano. a swing from the left side of the batter's box. laughter and love. her influence gave us a place to draw strength from. she grew up poor with an abusive father. but she never let that define her. she chose to be kind and gentle, loving. the stories she has told, ... make me wonder how she could not be cold and damaged. i guess to some degree she is, but i've never felt it. she doesn't accept homosexuality as "right". but i'm ok with that. that's her belief. she is entitled to that. i don't want anyone to change what they believe. and i don't want anyone to try and change what i feel. we go round and round about a lot of different things lol. my view is to always be open minded. hers is to be landmark missionary baptist. the two views love one another. she's not perfect. not even close. but i wouldn't know what gambaru means today without her. she let me be a tomboy, ... not once did she say no, you can't do that. she said, you can be anything you set your mind to. she's 87 and when she senses that i don't feel well or something is bothering me, ... the mother in her stands up. she still puts me first. that's what a momma does. |
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#7 |
Senior Member
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Perusing Join Date: Nov 2009
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I am surprised with myself, that I never posted in here.
My mom passed in 2005 , three days after my younger sisters birthday. It was me, who served her those last tiny morsels of food ( or should I say, begged her to eat and drink) at my sisters birthday party. She hung on with all she had left ,for my sisters day. I was unsure about taking my dog to the party (food-obsessed, golden retriever,couch potato) or to camp out there with me, during those last few days. It turned out, that "Emma" ( my dog's name) was her last spoken word and seeing my dog was her last smile. My dog and hers, barely left her side (but to pee) on her last days. My dog was a bridge for us, in many ways. It's hard to fight with someone who loves your dog as much as you. I had to go to the best "horse blinder place" I could muster and focus on staying there. We were estranged for years, many times. Ten years, was the longest time. Emma developed cancer herself a year after this and I had to put her down ![]() I had to visualize mom and my dad both as kids who really did not GET what they needed either. Not nurtured and not given affection. My mom was an incest survivor from both her father and older brother. People did not get help for shit like that, in her time. Mom and I, made our peace and became very close in that last year. I always wonder how different she would have been, without my father's control over her and her childhood history. We all thought, Dad would be the first to go. She saved my hide often from my fathers rage. I learned to forgive her for all the times she just couldn't. I was so close to being the boy he always wanted, and yet wasn't. She used to insist on doing my laundry even as old as 35 , just to spend time with me. Grieving her will always be a part of me, now it seems. She deserves to be remembered like that and a big fancy embellished plaque on her drawer, up on the hill ,with the beautiful view. I'm still trying to do this for her, seven years later. This is gonna be THE year. She spoiled me in many ways and I miss her something fucking awful. ![]() ![]() ![]() spring time is the hardest for me I try hard not to stuff it With mothers day coming and in June, her birthday (again) it's been fucking impossible to stuff ,this year (THE year) I went from black sheep my entire life to her favorite with a phone call every day , quality time spent with her and a razor (snort) Morphine and a razor helped her (A LOT) not to worry (so fucking much) about what people thought about the hairy butch she gave birth to. She couldnt see past my lip hair so I fixed it so she could and I would do it again. I grossed her out totally once when I yanked my first gray 1/4 inch long mustache hair and saved it for her. ( for humor purposes) I'm sure she is ecstatic, that I'm shaving it daily. I would love to hear her nag at me (like only a mother can) again about pretty much anything. Hairy lips on anyone ,were not her thing and I forgive her for that too. All the good things that I am , I learned and got from her. |
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#8 |
Junior Member
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forever a bachelor my heart belong to a special someone olny Join Date: Apr 2010
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When I came out to my mom at age 18 she told it was phase and that I would get over it. It took us ten years to work past that but in my mindseyes I see her accepting me inwardly and when she past we wer the best of friends sharing everything.I had to tell her it was alright to let go that I would be alright without her my best friend.
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