Neurodiversity

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by violaine

i would like to touch on why people apologise so often, please- if anyone cares to explore deeper the topic? is it due to [or more/other than] feeling like words will come out all wrong in general [once a certain point in conversation has been reached]- or due to not wanting to take up so much time of another person, upsetting someone or even yourself further, past experiences, et c.

how can there be a happier medium, i wonder? where the communication chasm gets smaller, and frustrations lessen?

ohk. time for me to run some errands, and find out about some animal control related matters. hope you all have a wonderful afternoon. i'm crazy for people in this thread

I think for me it is a combination, but mostly due to past trauma and not wanting to take up anyones time or space or disturb anyone.

I appologize all over myself when frustrated.

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Apocalipstic,

I actually start working on my writing before I post. I have to look up words. I even have people read what I am going to post beforehand. Unless I am angry. Then I let it rip.


Belle,

I walk away. I talk to my furkids. I disconnect from here, and go onto my other hobbies. It is only when someone pushes me to the cliff. We all know the experiences. Or someone will say that we are hiding. No, it is a matter of protecting ourselves from jerks.

protection is a great thing!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Yes it is. I never understood why people would say that to me that I was hiding. Sheesh.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Yes it is. I never understood why people would say that to me that I was hiding. Sheesh.

Ha, I do hide.

[violaine]

maybe sometime down the road, we could have a chat night? there is a group [WLS- weight loss support ] who meet once a week.

what do you think?

[Kimbo]

Originally Posted by violaine

maybe sometime down the road, we could have a chat night? there is a group [WLS- weight loss support ] who meet once a week.

what do you think?

Great idea!

[Andrew, Jr.]

Per Belle, This is what I have come up with when I know I am out of control. Now, please bear with me because this is sort of a rush job.

Those who torment me, and others who have neuro. diseases/disorders I believe they do so because they have some resentment or envy of me/others. Why? I have no clue. Who really knows what is going on in anyone's mind these days. Why don't children help the elderly cross a busy road anymore?

Those who are master manipulators like my bio-father, who also torments me, I believe it gives him/them a "one up". Like a power ranking on earth or something. It boosts his/their ego to put someone down. He/they are very demeaning, and aggressive about how he/they go about it. It can be with the words used, repetition of a certain behavior, or knowing that what he/they are doing is intentionally inflicting emotional pain on me or another human being. For example, my father always telling my sisters that they were fat, ugly, and stupid. To this very day, they always remember that those 3 horrible words he uttered. So when I say words hurt. I mean, words hurt.

We all see this by military hazing, political slams, and workplace bullying, even in school bullying now. Heck, kids today now carry knives and guns. I never thought I would see this during my lifetime.

The effects of this are social isolation, constant criticism to the point of believing what your tormentors are saying to and about you (Stockholm Syndrome), the lies and rumors become true to you. You loose sight of who and what you are. For example, in some sick way my father thought that beating me, and locking me in a closet were going to make me a straight woman. Boy was he wrong.

The end result can be more isolation, loneliness, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and even suicide. And nobody deserves that. Nobody.

I take meds on a reg. basis. I also have some ticks. All are doable. Life is good. But when someone threatens me with criticism, or demons, it sends me right over the edge. I also find it quite rude when someone bad mouths my late sister and late younger brother. They are not here to defend themselves. I can only do the best I can. I think until you yourself bury your own siblings, you have no room to talk.


Kimbo,

I was diagnosed very early with my learning disabilities thanks to my oldest sister. I failed in school. In fact, I failed anything that was organized. It made no sense to me. I also am colorblind. I would make an appt with a neurologist, and also have testing done by a therapist. See what the results come out to be. Mine were pretty much the same as Apoc.

I wish you peace.

Andrew

[ruthie14]

Ok ...Deep breath.. I just took that sensitive test and scored a 25. Is this a surprise to me, no.. I have been told I am an empath...so yes I feel things greatly. That it relates to asbergers and the autism spectrum. Yes and no. Wow.. a lot to process for me right now. The funny thing is, is that I have been working with children who have asbergers and autism for more than 20 years. It always seems I have had a connection to the children in my care that is a rare gift. I seem to understand what they need without words... and with all kids for that matter, but in particular with my clients,students and friends with this "different wiring." I hope you don't mind if I join your group here.. I find your openess and honesty a wonderful gift. You all are very inspiring to me. Thanks for who you are..

[suebee]

Reading through the posts - such a jigsaw puzzle understanding ourselves! It's all overwhelming at times. Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm following along. Don't post often 'cause quite frankly I find it too much to deal with. But I'm lurking. Like the idea of a chat night.

Sue

[violaine]

has anyone ever told you during a heated moment that you have a 'mental deficit" ?

[violaine]

[QUOTE=Andrew, Jr.;57809]Per Belle, This is what I have come up with when I know I am out of control. Now, please bear with me because this is sort of a rush job.

Those who torment me, and others who have neuro. diseases/disorders I believe they do so because they have some resentment or envy of me/others. Why? I have no clue. Who really knows what is going on in anyone's mind these days. Why don't children help the elderly cross a busy road anymore?

thank you, mr. andrew for opening up a discusson about people who do not understand where AT wiring/needs/coping-skills, et c may be coming from- and do not get it [or may not ever get it].

Those who are master manipulators like my bio-father, who also torments me, I believe it gives him/them a "one up". Like a power ranking on earth or something. It boosts his/their ego to put someone down. He/they are very demeaning, and aggressive about how he/they go about it. It can be with the words used, repetition of a certain behavior, or knowing that what he/they are doing is intentionally inflicting emotional pain on me or another human being. For example, my father always telling my sisters that they were fat, ugly, and stupid. To this very day, they always remember that those 3 horrible words he uttered. So when I say words hurt. I mean, words hurt.

yes, they do for a lot of people. i've heard name-calling and/or been accused of having a- 'mental deficit' ; heard phrases like - 'what is 'wrong' with you? and 'you know what you are doing. does that mean there is an insinuation of deliberation on my end of playing a game? ha. i am like a big yellow school bus coming down the road - nothing is hidden with my intentions. however, when my truth is disputed, there's physical/bodily over-reaction, and comments made like 'mental deficit', and so on, i think that's going into a serious button-pushing zone.

We all see this by military hazing, political slams, and workplace bullying, even in school bullying now. Heck, kids today now carry knives and guns. I never thought I would see this during my lifetime.

The effects of this are social isolation, constant criticism to the point of believing what your tormentors are saying to and about you (Stockholm Syndrome), the lies and rumors become true to you. You loose sight of who and what you are. For example, in some sick way my father thought that beating me, and locking me in a closet were going to make me a straight woman. Boy was he wrong.

that's really sad, andrew. i'm sorry. you are correct, no one deserves that kind of abuse either.
The end result can be more isolation, loneliness, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and even suicide. And nobody deserves that. Nobody.

I take meds on a reg. basis. I also have some ticks. All are doable. Life is good. But when someone threatens me with criticism, or demons, it sends me right over the edge. I also find it quite rude when someone bad mouths my late sister and late younger brother. They are not here to defend themselves. I can only do the best I can. I think until you yourself bury your own siblings, you have no room to talk.

constructive criticism is one thing to learn from, but not the kind attacking who you are, or 'misperceptions' of who you are/what you are doing wrong. open-discourse is always a desirable option to me - to agree to disagree !


Kimbo,

I was diagnosed very early with my learning disabilities thanks to my oldest sister. I failed in school. In fact, I failed anything that was organized. It made no sense to me. I also am colorblind. I would make an appt with a neurologist, and also have testing done by a therapist. See what the results come out to be. Mine were pretty much the same as Apoc.

I wish you peace.

Andrew