Bravehearts: FTMs who cannot or choose not to medically transition

rande · 05-06-2012, 10:31 AM

It takes a great deal of courage to live, let alone live as one believes in spite of society's interpretation of the person's physical nature.

I am a Stone Butch/FTM who most likely will never be able to transition. Some of it is due to finances, some of it due to health reasons. My bone condition would react badly to T.

If I can figure out how to get top surgery, I will. In a New York minute!

So I guess I'll always be "Third Gendered," although I see myself as male.
In my relationships, I am honest. I tell my potential partner my true nature, and leave it to them to stay or leave (sometimes after slapping my face).
I never "entrap" anyone....preferring the awkward moments take place conversationally rather than waiting until passion's fire has already been lit.

It's scary, not knowing if you're about to be rejected or accepted. But I guess that's so in all aspects of life.
It's just that when it comes to sexuality, there's a great deal more vulnerability than say, just discussing favorite flavors of ice cream.

Do I consider myself courageous? Dunno. Not my call to make.
But I will say that anybody who is living this Third Gender life has had to grow a pair, metaphorically speaking, in order to get through some of it.

It ain't easy being 'tween.
But it's me.

Julien · 05-17-2012, 04:01 PM

I thought I would bump this thread.

My situation is this, I consider myself GenderQueer in that I have a female body, will answer to female pronouns because policing the pronoun use is frustrating, but I see myself as male. Because of financial reasons I do not believe I can accomplish the transition. For me that would be top surgery and T. Am I content with this in between state? Not really, but at this moment in my life I see no other alternative other than to put myself out there as who I "see" myself to be, get "mistaken" for male by others and yet be female bodied. I am who I am and that is somewhere in between male and female as someone looking at me might think. When in reality my brain sees the male side far more than my eyes see the female body. I'd like to think that this state is a unique position to be in. Maybe wanting something so much and not being able to achieve that is not a good thing. So we have to make the best of our situation and accept the uniqueness in ourselves.

Phyl · 05-18-2012, 12:58 AM

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I have always lived as a man My mother and father seen as a small child I was different then my sisters so being open minded people they let me just be so I never felt the need to ever truly transition because they just let me to wear mens clothes and be a boy. my father would talk to me like I was a boy telling me and teaching me how to treat a woman right they were always very proud of how I acted and treated women so transition was never necessary...

Nadeest · 05-18-2012, 08:32 PM

I am so very glad for you, that you had such good parents, Phyl.

05-06-2012, 10:31 AM	#1
rande Junior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: May 2012 Location: san francisco Posts: 9 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 111 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 0	Balls of Fire It takes a great deal of courage to live, let alone live as one believes in spite of society's interpretation of the person's physical nature. I am a Stone Butch/FTM who most likely will never be able to transition. Some of it is due to finances, some of it due to health reasons. My bone condition would react badly to T. If I can figure out how to get top surgery, I will. In a New York minute! So I guess I'll always be "Third Gendered," although I see myself as male. In my relationships, I am honest. I tell my potential partner my true nature, and leave it to them to stay or leave (sometimes after slapping my face). I never "entrap" anyone....preferring the awkward moments take place conversationally rather than waiting until passion's fire has already been lit. It's scary, not knowing if you're about to be rejected or accepted. But I guess that's so in all aspects of life. It's just that when it comes to sexuality, there's a great deal more vulnerability than say, just discussing favorite flavors of ice cream. Do I consider myself courageous? Dunno. Not my call to make. But I will say that anybody who is living this Third Gender life has had to grow a pair, metaphorically speaking, in order to get through some of it. It ain't easy being 'tween. But it's me.

05-17-2012, 04:01 PM	#2
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I thought I would bump this thread. My situation is this, I consider myself GenderQueer in that I have a female body, will answer to female pronouns because policing the pronoun use is frustrating, but I see myself as male. Because of financial reasons I do not believe I can accomplish the transition. For me that would be top surgery and T. Am I content with this in between state? Not really, but at this moment in my life I see no other alternative other than to put myself out there as who I "see" myself to be, get "mistaken" for male by others and yet be female bodied. I am who I am and that is somewhere in between male and female as someone looking at me might think. When in reality my brain sees the male side far more than my eyes see the female body. I'd like to think that this state is a unique position to be in. Maybe wanting something so much and not being able to achieve that is not a good thing. So we have to make the best of our situation and accept the uniqueness in ourselves. __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

05-18-2012, 12:58 AM	#3
Phyl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: Sir. He Relationship Status: ~☆SOLO☆~ Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: there's no place like home! Posts: 50 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 73 Thanked 133 Times in 36 Posts Rep Power: 1733430	[COLOR= I have always lived as a man My mother and father seen as a small child I was different then my sisters so being open minded people they let me just be so I never felt the need to ever truly transition because they just let me to wear mens clothes and be a boy. my father would talk to me like I was a boy telling me and teaching me how to treat a woman right they were always very proud of how I acted and treated women so transition was never necessary... __________________ It's not my first time to the rodeo!!! ~BIG DADDY~

05-18-2012, 08:32 PM	#4
Nadeest Member How Do You Identify?: as myself Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Leesburg, FL Posts: 595 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,876 Thanked 2,118 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 17077997	I am so very glad for you, that you had such good parents, Phyl.