Long Distance - How do you cope?

1QuirkyKiwi · 05-06-2012, 12:18 PM

I’ve had two LDRs that didn’t work out; both were Trans-Atlantic (USA and Canada). One, when I was in Italy and other living here, 3 years ago. I once vowed never to consider LDRs further than Europe, because it’s cheaper and there isn’t as much travelling; this allows us to see each other more and in everyday situations and moods. Recently, I’ve been listening to my intuition and allowing myself to be open to the possibility of another LDR outside of Europe if/when the right woman/Butch for me comes along…

I want and need intimacy along with open and honest communication; this doesn't just mean sex, but the need to connect, to share my feelings, and for her/hym to share theirs. I’m very touchy-feely and affectionate by nature and literally feel my way through the world and I need to communicate with my partner through touching them; either with a hug, kisses, or simply holding her/hys hand, etc.

In an LDR, it’s very easy to try and be happy and cheerful all the time for my partner, but the reality is, I can’t always be and neither could my partner. Yes, I’m naturally cheerful and happy by nature, yet, there are days when I may feel down, grumpy and bad tempered for whatever reason(s), or I feel hurt by something that’s happened or by someone. The same may apply to my partner and as much as I try to resist confrontation, communicating regularly with my partner and allowing myself and her/hym the vulnerability to see each other like this in everyday life; this also includes arguments and still know that we’ll be Okay, respectful of each other’s needs and have a solid relationship.

Should the relationship reach the stage of living together, we’re going to experience the ‘warts and all’ of each other and there will be times when we’ll argue over something.

This isn’t so easy to do in a LDR where it takes a days travel to be together and then only have one or two weeks together at most before weeks or even months apart.

Ciaran · 05-06-2012, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

Yes, I’m naturally cheerful and happy by nature, yet, there are days when I may feel down, grumpy and bad tempered for whatever reason(s)

As a total aside from the thread subject but I'm the complete opposite from the above i.e. I'm naturally grumpy and bad tempered but occasionally have cheerful and happy moments for whatever reason

1QuirkyKiwi · 05-06-2012, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ciaran

As a total aside from the thread subject but I'm the complete opposite from the above i.e. I'm naturally grumpy and bad tempered but occasionally have cheerful and happy moments for whatever reason

From personal experience, I know that these two exact polar opposites don't work for me in a relationship and I felt exhausted by their negative energy. I was frequently told that I was 'annoying' happy and 'irritatingly' optimistic! LOL!

P.S. It's my turn to have Kermit!

LOL!

Ciaran · 05-06-2012, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

P.S. It's my turn to have Kermit!

LOL!

Not a chance !!! Any request to have Kermit brings out my possessive and jealous streak

1QuirkyKiwi · 05-06-2012, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ciaran

Not a chance !!! Any request to have Kermit brings out my possessive and jealous streak

*Stamps foot and calls to Kermie* I'm neither jealous or possessive and willing to share... lol!

05-06-2012, 12:18 PM	#1
1QuirkyKiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: BBW. Unique femininity that does not encompass the western paradigm. Preferred Pronoun?: Anything Respectful! Relationship Status: Single, Happy, not Desparate or Looking, but Open to Possibilities... Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Europe and Aotearoa on a 5:2 ratio. Posts: 2,308 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,003 Thanked 6,035 Times in 1,617 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I’ve had two LDRs that didn’t work out; both were Trans-Atlantic (USA and Canada). One, when I was in Italy and other living here, 3 years ago. I once vowed never to consider LDRs further than Europe, because it’s cheaper and there isn’t as much travelling; this allows us to see each other more and in everyday situations and moods. Recently, I’ve been listening to my intuition and allowing myself to be open to the possibility of another LDR outside of Europe if/when the right woman/Butch for me comes along… I want and need intimacy along with open and honest communication; this doesn't just mean sex, but the need to connect, to share my feelings, and for her/hym to share theirs. I’m very touchy-feely and affectionate by nature and literally feel my way through the world and I need to communicate with my partner through touching them; either with a hug, kisses, or simply holding her/hys hand, etc. In an LDR, it’s very easy to try and be happy and cheerful all the time for my partner, but the reality is, I can’t always be and neither could my partner. Yes, I’m naturally cheerful and happy by nature, yet, there are days when I may feel down, grumpy and bad tempered for whatever reason(s), or I feel hurt by something that’s happened or by someone. The same may apply to my partner and as much as I try to resist confrontation, communicating regularly with my partner and allowing myself and her/hym the vulnerability to see each other like this in everyday life; this also includes arguments and still know that we’ll be Okay, respectful of each other’s needs and have a solid relationship. Should the relationship reach the stage of living together, we’re going to experience the ‘warts and all’ of each other and there will be times when we’ll argue over something. This isn’t so easy to do in a LDR where it takes a days travel to be together and then only have one or two weeks together at most before weeks or even months apart. __________________ What will make the difference to me is your strength of character and what's in your heart...