Long Distance - How do you cope?

[dixie]

LDRs suck. We cope though, thru daily phone calls, packages in the mail, and seeing one another as often as possible. We are able to make do with the distance much better than not being together at all...that is how we cope.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Sachita

I am open to face to face right away, no doubt and I agree that chemistry goes a long way, however there are so many factors I need to consider when thinking about a partner. I guess the older I get the more I look at the whole picture and approach relationships as total partnerships. I've done the passionate flights of fancy with no foundation and it really doesnt work for me any more.

Before someone comes into my life they need to understand some things about me. I am tired of investing so much time and energy to have it fall apart in a few months. I'd rather take my time, enjoy that person and learn about them. I want them to know that I can sometimes be aloof, distant and that I'm just not your typical woman. They need to understand that i have strong family commitments and how busy I am. If they are needy and demanding emotionally I may not be the right person for them. You learn this through any type of contact, why not learn this before spending money and too much time? I am also a naturally dominant and controlling woman with a strong maternal side. I can tell people this but they just don't get it until they are interacting with me or they may think they know what it means (most are wrong btw) and learn that really I'm not as hardcore as it may seem.

But I would most certainly be open to them flying in and meeting. I'd like at least a few weeks of talking, discovering and seeing if we may be compatible even as friends. In fact I'd love to start all relationships as friends.

Yes, I was speaking about meeting sooner rather than later, not dating sooner rather than later. Meaning, to me the meeting would be about figuring out if you even want to go on a date.

[SleepyButch]

I have to agree that it is important to meet sooner rather than later. If you don't, you may spend all this amount of time and energy on something that may not work once you meet. Of course there is always the possibility that even after you meet several times, spend a lot of money, move in together, that it may not work as well, but at least you can say you tried.

LDRs stink but sometimes relationships right in front of your face do as well. lol

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by Sachita

lol- Ok, but the REAL reason is I need to make sure they can lift a 50 pound bag and feed and throw some hay bales around. If hy wants to hold up in my house I;m putting hym to work. lol - actually we'll work together.

My fantasy of living on Sachita's farm and being waited on hand and foot has now lost some of its allure.

I'm not good at any work that requires physical effort (50 pound bag? I'd maybe lift 5 pounds if feeling particularly energetic) or the risk of getting my hands dirty. What if I was to be given the behind the desk position of Director of Strategy at the farm?

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

My fantasy of living on Sachita's farm and being waited on hand and foot has now lost some of its allure.

I'm not good at any work that requires physical effort (50 pound bag? I'd maybe lift 5 pounds if feeling particularly energetic) or the risk of getting my hands dirty. What if I was to be given the behind the desk position of Director of Strategy at the farm?

hahhaha yeah its a fantasy for sure! I don't wait on anyone hand and foot! I'm more of the diva type who wants to be catered too. Sorry to burst your bubble!

I would need to be in a relationship with someone who enjoy rural living and the outdoors, thats for sure. If hy doesn't want to help with the garden and yard they hy better make enough money to pay someone. Living in the city would make me very unhappy and like a fish out of water. I would be open to relocating, under the right circumstances but I doubt this will happen. I'm too much of a control freak to place myself into someone elses already existing world.