What Do You Think of TIME‘s Breastfeeding Cover?

[Novelafemme]

Oh Holy Hell, how did I miss this one!!

With my first daughter I breastfed until she weaned herself at 7 months. Awesome! She also preferred to sleep in her crib and didn't like to be held a lot. She is still somewhat touch sensitive unless I tackle her.

With Sophia all rules flew out the window. She wanted to be strapped to my body 24/7...seriously! She nursed until she was 3&1/2 and would have joyously continued had I not weaned her. The kid LOVED nursing!! And honestly, I really didn't give it a second thought because it was something she loved and it was such a wonderful bonding experience for us both. We would rock and hum songs and she would twist my earlobe around in her fingers. I would practice extended breastfeeding again in a heartbeat were I to have another baby and that was our chosen path.

I also nursed my daughters anywhere and everywhere. I wasn't some militant mom who was out to defy social norms, but I did see value in my baby eating when and where she wanted to and me not having to cover her up in the Tucson heat with something so other humans don't have to experience the vile shame that is my breast. GASP!

Have I been shamed for all of this? You betcha! Not so much by family, even though by the time Sophia was 3 they were all "uh...you're STILL nursing her??" but many times strangers would express their displeasure...to which I would always smile and ask if they would like to eat their lunch/breakfast/dinner in the bathroom. I also had a partner who thought it was disgusting and asked me to not ever talk about that part of my parenting philosophy.

Ultimately, you just have to do what feels right and FUCK everyone else's opinions. Our breasts are not just fun-bags. Feeding babies is what they are there for, dammit!

I also co-slept with Sophia because I worked crazy long hours and she missed me. Today she is unbelievably smart, totally independent and very healthy...as is my oldest!

Shamers be gone. Mom's, do what speaks to your heart and stand firm to your convictions! I haven't read the article and probably won't because I've lived through it in real time.

Gotta go graduate now. XOXO, Novela

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Sachita

As Dee pointed out the pic gets your attention. beyond the content of the article I'm sure it was meant to strike a chord and sell issues. Kudos to Time for taking risk even if it is the most natural thing in the world.

I breast fed my son the first 6 months. I may have gone to a year or teeth but it just wasn't an option. I had to resume work after 8 weeks and back then the pumps were not nearly as fancy as they are today. I use some daycare but could depend on my family too. I hated using daycare and I think its sucks that a woman can't have that choice if she wants it. I think its France where the government supplements a mother for up to a year for maternity leave. But our system is so screwed up, we are raped in health care and a tax system that supports corruption rather then support american families.

In Quebec mother, father and/or adopting parent can without fear of losing their job have a year unpaid leave and receive from the provincial government 55% of their pay weekly. Mother gets an additional 18 weeks before the birth, the father 5 weeks. Adoptive parents can have a total of 70 weeks. If you are pregnant and can’t work because your job is deemed dangerous to your pregnancy for any reason you can leave as soon as you are pregnant and receive CSST (workman’s comp –90% of your salary) for the duration as well as 52 weeks after the birth of the child. Gotta love the French mind set.

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by Scuba

Funny how SOCIETY sexualizes/objectifies and shames women all in the same sentence.

I am SO over the patriarch and it's ignorant agenda that I just cringe anymore when articles like this are published. It's high time some people just get over themselves and grow up.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

What I will NEVER understand is why people have to sexualize, pervert, be so crude regarding a mother and her child and their choice.

I haven't read the article (I don't read Time magazine, but I'll see if it's on their website), but I agree very much with these two statements. When it comes to breastfeeding North American society seems to have this uncanny desire to try to sexually objectify and shame women, and portray breastfeeding as some kind of kinky activity between mother and child with an invisible hetero cismale spectator.

At the same time, the cover makes me wonder about the intentions behind designing the cover. I don't know, but something about the way the bodies are posed seems like the cover is purposefully trying to sexually objectify/shame/pervert breastfeeding. Maybe if I read the article more would be clarified, but it makes me wonder if that is typically how the mother in the article breastfeeds her child, if this is a natural pose, or if it was staged that way for a purpose. And if their bodies were posed/staged, then that does disturb me. Not because of the act of breastfeeding itself, but because it then becomes another example of sexualising women's bodies in the media for the purpose of attracting the hetero cismale gaze. So instead of talking women's relationships with their children and the social stigmas against breastfeeding, we're back to a conversation with the hetero male spectre in the background...

[Apocalipstic]

Selling magazines...plain and simple.

[Glenn]

As a regular member of a few hetero-male sites, where feminism is usually frowned upon, and because the child is a boy, I think many hetero-men may view this cover picture as symbolic of the sissification of American men by modern women(for which there seems to be a growing belief and angst).

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Glenn

As a regular member of a few hetero-male sites, where feminism is usually frowned upon, and because the child is a boy, I think many hetero-men may view this cover picture as symbolic of the sissification of American men by modern women(for which there seems to be a growing belief and angst).

DING DING DING..

The photograph itsel brings out some pretty fucked up thinking.

It's what's happening to women and breastfeeding there's some weird reactions to where mothers making a choice are being singled out for feeding their child.


It's a choice that these women make it shouldn't be degraded, it should be celebrated because they say fuck you and your assumptions I'm nurturing my child the way and she/he pleases.

My cubs are all grown and still curl up next to me like when they were babies. Parenting is something that comes with no garuantees of success, no instructions, no manuals, we just do it and hope we don't ingrain the shit our parents did.

We hope they are evolved and hope through them change comes, breastfeeding or not...

[Quintease]

I wouldn't do it but I don't have a problem with it.

Society has got to get over their revulsion of women's bodies.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

At the same time, the cover makes me wonder about the intentions behind designing the cover. I don't know, but something about the way the bodies are posed seems like the cover is purposefully trying to sexually objectify/shame/pervert breastfeeding. Maybe if I read the article more would be clarified, but it makes me wonder if that is typically how the mother in the article breastfeeds her child, if this is a natural pose, or if it was staged that way for a purpose. And if their bodies were posed/staged, then that does disturb me. Not because of the act of breastfeeding itself, but because it then becomes another example of sexualising women's bodies in the media for the purpose of attracting the hetero cismale gaze. So instead of talking women's relationships with their children and the social stigmas against breastfeeding, we're back to a conversation with the hetero male spectre in the background...

The cover was staged for effect. The photographer, Martin Schoeller, explains his vision as:

When you think of breast-feeding, you think of mothers holding their children, which was impossible with some of these older kids,” Schoeller says. “I liked the idea of having the kids standing up to underline the point that this was an uncommon situation.”

Capturing various attached parents — and their reasons for attachment parenting — was Schoeller’s biggest goal for the sitting. “It was important to show that there’s no stereotypical look for a mom who practices this kind of parenting,” Schoeller says.

http://lightbox.time.com/2012/05/10/parenting/#1

Originally Posted by Glenn

As a regular member of a few hetero-male sites, where feminism is usually frowned upon, and because the child is a boy, I think many hetero-men may view this cover picture as symbolic of the sissification of American men by modern women(for which there seems to be a growing belief and angst).

Cant say that I follow this line of reasoning r.e. the "sissification of American men" in regards to the photo. I'm thinking men who have a "sissified" problem are more likely to be those who were taught to believe women are meant to be barefoot, pregnant, silent, pieces of property and indentured servants who are supposed to worship the ground they walk on. Thats a patriarchy and privilege issue for another thread.

I went looking for the magazine which was supposed to hit the newsstands today. It isnt here yet.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Glenn

As a regular member of a few hetero-male sites, where feminism is usually frowned upon, and because the child is a boy, I think many hetero-men may view this cover picture as symbolic of the sissification of American men by modern women(for which there seems to be a growing belief and angst).

Originally Posted by Kobi

Cant say that I follow this line of reasoning r.e. the "sissification of American men" in regards to the photo. I'm thinking men who have a "sissified" problem are more likely to be those who were taught to believe women are meant to be barefoot, pregnant, silent, pieces of property and indentured servants who are supposed to worship the ground they walk on.

I would say not following this line of reasoning is probably a good thing. However, it doesn't make it any less a reality and a problematic one at that. The men you are talking about who think women should be barefoot, pregnant and silent also don't go for women making sissies out of boys and have considerable angst over the detrimental effect modern women are having on men. Thus this current attack on women's rights.

[aishah]

women tamed dot com (don't really care to give them hits from here) is one of a BUNCH of anti-feminist websites discussing how women are trying to make sissies out of boys, if anyone's not familiar with that rhetoric. it's a very common thread in conservative thought nowadays.

along with the sexualization of women's bodies, there's this whole undercurrent of oedipus complex/sexualization of the mother/son relationship that kind of drifts underneath breastfeeding discussion (particularly past the age of 1) a lot of the time, and i think it ties into the blaming of women for "sissifying" men. it's disgusting that that is what shapes popular opinion about breastfeeding, but it does. that's the first thing i thought of when i saw the cover of time.

i agree with others who've said it's staged and used to create shock value. i don't read time, partly because of stunts like this. i don't think there's anything wrong with breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, and i think women should be able to feed their kids anywhere they want.

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by aishah

snip~

i agree with others who've said it's staged and used to create shock value. i don't read time, partly because of stunts like this. i don't think there's anything wrong with breastfeeding or not breastfeeding, and i think women should be able to feed their kids anywhere they want.

Already posted here but wanted to high five this.

I'm sick to death of some people saying we don't mother correctly or we don't breastfeed long enough or we breastfeed too long. Measure, measure, measure, constantly.

Seriously? Know what? Pretty darn sure we WOMEN can figure it out and have over a billion years ago. QUIT measuring us!!!

Leave us alone, Time, and quit trying to make us look bad, no matter which side we are on. We do the best we can with the resources and time that we have with our kids.

Geeze.

[BrutalDaddy]

Got no issues at all with a mother breastfeeding her kid. Not my place at ALL to decide when it should stop, etc. I do have questions on when I wonder where you have to draw the line due to having been exposed to a five year old eating a waffle then looking at the mom and saying, "I'm thirsty!" So mom lifts off half the top and kid grabs a tit and begins sucking away. Customers were very uncomfortable and I could totally understand why. Pump it out and put it in a bottle? Is it really different then just spending time with the child, reading, cuddling, listening to music, etc.? Yet it isn't my decision to make and I get that.

With that said I do have a major problem with the cover in regards to how things can be "percieved". Normally I don't give a shit. I go against society's standards of "norm" with how I look and the fact I'm in the wrong body, etc. Yet each single time I look at this cover I can't help but think of how this is simply "legal" child porn for some pedophile to jack off to.

Seriously. There are so many ways to get a point across then this, in my opinion. Nothing more then a way to garner attention (for the magazine) and give pedophiles a chance to get off with a magazine that won't get them thrown in jail just because the picture is being touted as an "educational" tool.


Just a Tool,
Brute.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by princessbelle

Already posted here but wanted to high five this.

I'm sick to death of some people saying we don't mother correctly or we don't breastfeed long enough or we breastfeed too long. Measure, measure, measure, constantly.

Seriously? Know what? Pretty darn sure we WOMEN can figure it out and have over a billion years ago. QUIT measuring us!!!

Leave us alone, Time, and quit trying to make us look bad, no matter which side we are on. We do the best we can with the resources and time that we have with our kids.

Geeze.

You said just what i was trying to convey (only in pretty puffy pink font) that when we were stay at home moms we were unfit, when we went to work we were unfit, now we are back at home nursing our babies and we are yet wrong again.

Blah!

[BrutalDaddy]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

You said just what i was trying to convey (only in pretty puffy pink font) that when we were stay at home moms we were unfit, when we went to work we were unfit, now we are back at home nursing our babies and we are yet wrong again.

Blah!

I do find it almost amusing that there seems to be no satsifying the whole "what makes a perfect mother" scenerio. My mom did the very best she could with what she had and considering the sperm donor was a dick, she did pretty damn good in my mind.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Screw what society feels if you're doing the best you can for your own. That's my view.

Brute.

[SugarFemme]

When my daughter was a baby, my Mom was always giving advice. shes on the breast too long. Shes on the bottle too long. She should be potty trained. She should be done with binky....all these "shoulds". I parented by instinct and my childs needs. But, the best advice I ever got was from cousin....."as long as your kid isn't drinking out of a bottle, sucking on a binky , or wearing diapers when they are 21, quit worrying about the shoulds as it all evens out". Of course it was said with tongue in cheek, but he was right.

Originally Posted by princessbelle

Already posted here but wanted to high five this.

I'm sick to death of some people saying we don't mother correctly or we don't breastfeed long enough or we breastfeed too long. Measure, measure, measure, constantly.

Seriously? Know what? Pretty darn sure we WOMEN can figure it out and have over a billion years ago. QUIT measuring us!!!

Leave us alone, Time, and quit trying to make us look bad, no matter which side we are on. We do the best we can with the resources and time that we have with our kids.

Geeze.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

I do find it almost amusing that there seems to be no satsifying the whole "what makes a perfect mother" scenerio. My mom did the very best she could with what she had and considering the sperm donor was a dick, she did pretty damn good in my mind.

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Screw what society feels if you're doing the best you can for your own. That's my view.

Brute.

Exactly.....how often have you seen or heard the term deadbeat mom? Not very.

[~ocean]

^ 5 cajun )))) ** kicks the June Cleaver act off the stage ** lol

[princessbelle]

Exactly Dee!!!!!

And the more i think about this the madder i get. They print this right before Mother's Day with the headline "Are you Mom enough"

You know, here is a good opportunity to share a story regarding what Mother's Day is all about....praising our moms. But, instead they take the route of trying to shame us, divide us, make us feel less than no matter what we think of the picture.

Wouldn't it have been lovely to show the beauty of mothers and how many, if not most try and try and try to do good by our kids. Our decisions to work or not work, breastfeed or not, the struggles, the decisions, the kisses, the hugs, the love, the goodnight stories, the open arms...

Mothers are to be honored this week. None of us were perfect, IMO. But, damn it we freaking tried. It would have been nice, oh powerful Time, to have read stories about moms that actually pulled us all together and made us proud of our diversity, perseverance and love for our kids.

Just really pisses me off.

Off soap box.

[goodlilfemme]

im whole heartedly for a woman breastfeeding her child in public private hell do it in the line in the grocery store if your child needs it but the cover of a magazine come on people there's better things to put on the cover . breastfeeding is natural and there's nothing wrong with it till someone puts a picture like that one on the cover ofa magazine.

Originally Posted by always2late

I breastfed my son, in public when necessary...and I totally support every woman's right to feed their child whenever and wherever they have to. After all...that is what breasts are FOR...so this stupidity about it somehow being distasteful or "obscene" for a woman to be engaging in a completely natural act is absolutely ridiculous!! That being said...I am disturbed by the cover photo. It seems it was staged to provoke a reaction and has little to do with the subject of the actual article.

[4verNlove]

I breastfed my son solely for five months, no water, no formula...just breast milk...so, as one can imagine...I fed him in all kinds of places....a ladies room in a department store, my truck....but I have to say..I neve encountered anyone discriminating...hmmm. now this was 30 years ago...lol...perhaps, it was a time when breastfeeding was becoming popular again...don't know, but I found strangers to be supportive..I did try to be discreet...(cover us with a light blanket....It was a wonderful experience...extremely tiring, but wonderful...he fed every 3 hours all that time...(he's graduating Med. school next week) <smile>...and regarding the photo in the magazine?....what bothered me the most was the rise they tried to get out of publishing it....and they did...pros and cons....Me? It's all individual...If that's what one wants and needs...it doesn't affect me...I did what I could...and am grateful....Love you Bobby!!!! Congrats...!!!!