Halp! I never developed gaydar and I need...

imperfect_cupcake · 05-13-2012, 07:02 AM

Ask my senior instructor and assessor of a high end institution if she's gay???

I think I'd be told "why the hell is it your business, exactly?" and then given a hard boot.

I got pressups this morning for merely forgetting my pen.

And I *am* distasteful!

Nat · 05-13-2012, 07:46 AM

I actually had a similar question about a physical therapist once. I was in a relationship and so my speculation was idle, but appreciative. She seemed flirty toward me until she found out I was a lesbian. She was flirty with straight girls. She had a boyfriend. She walked like a stable-boy. Eventually I heard through the itsybitsy lesbian grapevine there that she'd told my friend's girlfriend that she thought she might be gay but she didn't know.

Anyway, even if she's a lesbian, she may not be out or may not have figured it out. I had the pleasure of spending 6 weeks in Oxford once. It totally threw off my gaydar. All the men seemed a bit gay and all the women too. I think people put out different signals to some extent from region to region and culture to culture.

Actually it's similar in Texas - we have a lot of masculine straight women here who are straight or who are at least living straight-looking lives.

I don't find it distateful to wonder if somebody is a lesbian or not. And I agree it wouldn't be appropriate to outright ask (in your specific situation). I think I'd try to enjoy the not knowing for a while. She does sound flirty to me though.

Random · 05-13-2012, 08:37 AM

I think that it's a delightful guessing game to keep that part of your brain off wanker until you pass your course..

I think, that after you are graduated.... well, there is the brazen blond femme who know exactly what to do after you are graduated...

My vote goes for HOT....

It sounds like there is a bit of energy exchange and well, reading your discription of her made me wiggle and blush a little...

How she ID's? who knows... but I'd like to be in a room with her...

imperfect_cupcake · 05-13-2012, 11:42 AM

she is HOT lol

today though, she was extemely caring about my future in a tutor type way and yeah, it's just a game until I graduate.

blog link

Quote:

I got a talking to at the end of the day today about basically being spun out, but she was completely and utterly right in saying so.

If anything, this is going to force me to focus because I have to be completely present and mindful. I am when I'm massaging, that's not the issue. But if I'm to succeed in the way Liz thinks I can, I have to really calm down, focus and slow down.

I've been given a training schedule and told I have to lose weight. Duh, yeah I know. But Liz told me I have to do weight lifting for my stomach, back, thighs and arms. She wants me to strengthen my wrists or I'm going to get damage. She asked me to look at the stomach muscles of the instructors, that's what she wants to see me with (fuck! really?? jesus!). She also told me I'm going to have to strap down my tits. It will help with my back, it will stop intruding on my movements and it will also help prevent harassment at work.
"What size are they?"
"H."
"Well, nice for some things I'm sure *smirk* however, I think in this instance you need a compression bra for massage."
"Yeah, to be honest I'm finding it a complete pain in the ass."
She grabbed my trapezious, squeezed and put a hand across a pectoral. "No. It's no good. you are way too tight from them. You need to stretch your pecs and throw your chest out more. If you have a compression bra I'm sure you'd feel more confident about throwing your shoulders back. You might want to wear it around to improve your posture. You can't be this tight, Barb. It will wind up damaging you when you work."
"ok."
"and I know I told you about those nails. If I see you again with paint, you'll get one of my famous fines -"
"-yep, I just needed to -"
"and I meant what I said about owning you when you are here, got it? So if I see you arriving with no helmet again, you get a fine. I think I want doughnuts. So, no helmet, you buy doughnuts."
"ech. too sweet."
"Hmn, yer sweet enough... *grin*.... doesn't matter, I'll be eating them. Now bugger off and pack up your stuff."

Liz is a horrible flirt but she's a good instructor and I am very glad she gives a shit enough to kick my ass. I feel cared about as her student. I think I kind of needed feeling that. It's nice to know someone is looking out for me in a specific way and thinks I have potential enough to push me.

so yeah, I think Nat, I'll keep it at appreciative. She's looking out for me and for that, I owe some respect of a different kind. By working as hard as I can.

05-13-2012, 07:46 AM	#2
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,964 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I actually had a similar question about a physical therapist once. I was in a relationship and so my speculation was idle, but appreciative. She seemed flirty toward me until she found out I was a lesbian. She was flirty with straight girls. She had a boyfriend. She walked like a stable-boy. Eventually I heard through the itsybitsy lesbian grapevine there that she'd told my friend's girlfriend that she thought she might be gay but she didn't know. Anyway, even if she's a lesbian, she may not be out or may not have figured it out. I had the pleasure of spending 6 weeks in Oxford once. It totally threw off my gaydar. All the men seemed a bit gay and all the women too. I think people put out different signals to some extent from region to region and culture to culture. Actually it's similar in Texas - we have a lot of masculine straight women here who are straight or who are at least living straight-looking lives. I don't find it distateful to wonder if somebody is a lesbian or not. And I agree it wouldn't be appropriate to outright ask (in your specific situation). I think I'd try to enjoy the not knowing for a while. She does sound flirty to me though. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

05-13-2012, 08:37 AM	#3
Random Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: back in the land of trees and snow Posts: 2,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,017 Thanked 5,326 Times in 1,378 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I think that it's a delightful guessing game to keep that part of your brain off wanker until you pass your course.. I think, that after you are graduated.... well, there is the brazen blond femme who know exactly what to do after you are graduated... My vote goes for HOT.... It sounds like there is a bit of energy exchange and well, reading your discription of her made me wiggle and blush a little... How she ID's? who knows... but I'd like to be in a room with her... __________________ ~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood"

05-13-2012, 07:02 AM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,711 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Ask my senior instructor and assessor of a high end institution if she's gay??? I think I'd be told "why the hell is it your business, exactly?" and then given a hard boot. I got pressups this morning for merely forgetting my pen. And I am distasteful!