The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over. - Page 27

02-28-2010, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoney

soooo ........

here I am 46, happy as hell to be alive, just startin' to accept the fact that for the first time in my life I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE FREE AND I just went through menapause ( and I love the feeling)...
then..
there is this young girl, 16 who ran away from home....she was being abused, no one wanted her......she spent Christmas with me and the fam and her mom just signed her off to me....don"t know me from shit, but is like.... here ya go...."you better put her on birth control... shes a little whore"....( um yeah... nice huh) so I became her guardian.

well so now after having an empty nest for like ...." two seconds" Im ... well raisin' another.

Now of course, 16 , you would think might not be too hard.... well the child has been through it, she has been abused for a long long time... she has issues... we get along great though, she loves it here her therapy is going well.

but now...

I dont know why Im tellin ya all this but I need someone my age to feel me....

Child protective services just t took my sons and gf parental rights, and I was made guardian now I also have a 1yr old and a 4 yr old.

Im 46 and I really had some pretty cool plans for my life now that it is the first time in 26 years I didnt have kids!.......

I love my grand children

But.......

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!^$#@%%&&^*&(*((*

F*CK F*CK F*CK

( I feel a little better now)

Stoney

So sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it right now Stoney. I have no idea what, if any, words of comfort can be said in such circumstances. Will your son and gf get their parental rights back in the near future?

Stoney · 02-28-2010, 08:01 AM

well , I doubt that,he has a drug problem....and well... I have raised my grand daughter for the better part of 4 years ne way... it is just damn it .. I wish they would get their shit together.. I dont foresee it...

casey35 · 02-28-2010, 08:15 AM

i am so sorry that u have to put the empty nest on hold again. May u can find some couples that has the same age kids and be able to spend time with them and relax a bit and enjoy good company. There seems to be a few people in their forties that taking care of children.

DELSDAUGHTER · 02-28-2010, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoney

soooo ........

here I am 46, happy as hell to be alive, just startin' to accept the fact that for the first time in my life I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE FREE AND I just went through menapause ( and I love the feeling)...
then..
there is this young girl, 16 who ran away from home....she was being abused, no one wanted her......she spent Christmas with me and the fam and her mom just signed her off to me....don"t know me from shit, but is like.... here ya go...."you better put her on birth control... shes a little whore"....( um yeah... nice huh) so I became her guardian.

well so now after having an empty nest for like ...." two seconds" Im ... well raisin' another.

Now of course, 16 , you would think might not be too hard.... well the child has been through it, she has been abused for a long long time... she has issues... we get along great though, she loves it here her therapy is going well.

but now...

I dont know why Im tellin ya all this but I need someone my age to feel me....

Child protective services just t took my sons and gf parental rights, and I was made guardian now I also have a 1yr old and a 4 yr old.

Im 46 and I really had some pretty cool plans for my life now that it is the first time in 26 years I didnt have kids!.......

I love my grand children

But.......

FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!^$#@%%&&^*&(*((*

F*CK F*CK F*CK

( I feel a little better now)

Stoney

all i can say is WOW...i know kinda how you feel...i just got an empty nest and the pow......they are both coming back...and to make matters worse i just moved into a one bedroom apt....

morningstar55 · 02-28-2010, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DELSDAUGHTER

all i can say is WOW...i know kinda how you feel...i just got an empty nest and the pow......they are both coming back...and to make matters worse i just moved into a one bedroom apt....

... crapola...

02-28-2010, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoney

well , I doubt that,he has a drug problem....and well... I have raised my grand daughter for the better part of 4 years ne way... it is just damn it .. I wish they would get their shit together.. I dont foresee it...

I am so sorry to hear of your son's addiction. I can't possibly understand what you're feeling/experiencing (I don't have kids) but my thoughts are with you.

LieslKate · 02-28-2010, 05:11 PM

This is gonna get a HUGE shriek of disapproval BUT... there is nothing in the Mom Handbook that says you have to take in grandkids or have adult children move home...

Do the grandkids have no other relatives? Where are the other grandparents, any other siblings or cousins age appropriate etc to take responsibility? Is this a matter of you being the only "unmarried" relative and therefore you are free and can take on this responsibilty? Why are you obligated to take them on? If the parents are drug addicts perhaps the kids would be best adopted...

As for adult children moving home... just say no, otherwise you are stuck with them 'til you go to the old age home...

Jet · 02-28-2010, 05:34 PM

Flying by to say hey... hope everyone is having a good w/e

Stoney · 02-28-2010, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LieslKate

This is gonna get a HUGE shriek of disapproval BUT... there is nothing in the Mom Handbook that says you have to take in grandkids or have adult children move home...

Do the grandkids have no other relatives? Where are the other grandparents, any other siblings or cousins age appropriate etc to take responsibility? Is this a matter of you being the only "unmarried" relative and therefore you are free and can take on this responsibilty? Why are you obligated to take them on? If the parents are drug addicts perhaps the kids would be best adopted...

As for adult children moving home... just say no, otherwise you are stuck with them 'til you go to the old age home...

well in my case, as i have mentioned I have already raised my g baby for 3 out of 4 years, yes My son is on drugs, so are millions of other people, I love my son with all my heart as I do these g-babies. He was my Baby. Now as a matter of fact I am the only relative around. but that would make no difference to me I would fight like hell for all of my G babies.
Sometimes, doing the responsible thing is giving your children to some one who loves them and will take good care of them while you get your shit together so you can be a parent in some capacity.

I am frustrated, I am disappointed, and a little relieved at the same time.
it isnt written in the handbook, I have to take them....no

but it is 100% in my heart......I love those babies , and could never stand them to be with strangers or in the system.

I have 5, 4yrs old and under..... I would take them all .

just been one crazy ass week

just had to scream for a second is all.

stoney

ruthie14 · 02-28-2010, 05:53 PM

((((((((Stoney))))))) I hope everything works out. I would feel the same as you I think. I raised 2 stepkids who now have nothing to do with me... never could have any of my own. Long sad story...I won't get into it here. I just think that if I were in your position I would hope I would do the same. Good luck to ya hun.
Ruthie

morningstar55 · 02-28-2010, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoney

well in my case, as i have mentioned I have already raised my g baby for 3 out of 4 years, yes My son is on drugs, so are millions of other people, I love my son with all my heart as I do these g-babies. He was my Baby. Now as a matter of fact I am the only relative around. but that would make no difference to me I would fight like hell for all of my G babies.
Sometimes, doing the responsible thing is giving your children to some one who loves them and will take good care of them while you get your shit together so you can be a parent in some capacity.

I am frustrated, I am disappointed, and a little relieved at the same time.
it isnt written in the handbook, I have to take them....no

but it is 100% in my heart......I love those babies , and could never stand them to be with strangers or in the system.

I have 5, 4yrs old and under..... I would take them all .

just been one crazy ass week

just had to scream for a second is all.

stoney

((((((((((((((((stoney))))))))))))))))
kudo's for you for following your heart..
blood is always thicker then water.... no matter what.

if it was my daughter in this situation... i would not or could not allow strangers to raise my grand kids..as in adoption or foster...
they are part of my blood.. and would do anything to be there foro them.

Julien · 02-28-2010, 06:41 PM

Hi my name is Graphiteta2s,
I wanted to introduce myself. I know you are discussing a very personal topic right now. I just wanted to step forward and wish Stoney the best. I'll step back now and keep reading.
G.

Jet · 02-28-2010, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graphiteta2s

Hi my name is Graphiteta2s,
I wanted to introduce myself. I know you are discussing a very personal topic right now. I just wanted to step forward and wish Stoney the best. I'll step back now and keep reading.
G.

Welcome lofter.

Jet · 02-28-2010, 06:53 PM

Reading posts. tonight's fare...
tilapia rolled in bread crumbs and dill, browned in olive oil.
homemade tarter sauce.
BIG tossed salad

morningstar55 · 02-28-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graphiteta2s

Hi my name is Graphiteta2s,
I wanted to introduce myself. I know you are discussing a very personal topic right now. I just wanted to step forward and wish Stoney the best. I'll step back now and keep reading.
G.

hey ya there..... Graphitsters... heh jump in anytime , ya know when ever i see your member name here.. makes me think of drawing.. lol
think its the artist in me .. thinking that way.. lol

morningstar55 · 02-28-2010, 08:07 PM

alrighty Lofters...... i think im gonna take a nap before i head to the Nissian plant....... nites

03-01-2010, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graphiteta2s

Hi my name is Graphiteta2s,
I wanted to introduce myself. I know you are discussing a very personal topic right now. I just wanted to step forward and wish Stoney the best. I'll step back now and keep reading.
G.

Welcome to the Loft Graphiteta ...great sig.

morningstar55 · 03-01-2010, 11:25 AM

mawning Lofters......

and afternooners...... its lunch time i suppose.... huh.. lol
i love steak salad's if they are made right....... heh

ya know. OLJet.... I love that pic you there for your avatar... very handsome

dont ever change.
heyy Incubus....... hows ur day going over there??? what does your member name mean and how did it come about??
wonder where DELS daughter is this am ... hmmmm
mawning to you.... Graphite

wait its afternoon ... Oyy
see what happens to my . when i drive till 3am ish and dont wake up till a later hour then normal ..mess's me up..lol

no1sBoi · 03-01-2010, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoney

well in my case, as i have mentioned I have already raised my g baby for 3 out of 4 years, yes My son is on drugs, so are millions of other people, I love my son with all my heart as I do these g-babies. He was my Baby. Now as a matter of fact I am the only relative around. but that would make no difference to me I would fight like hell for all of my G babies.
Sometimes, doing the responsible thing is giving your children to some one who loves them and will take good care of them while you get your shit together so you can be a parent in some capacity.

I am frustrated, I am disappointed, and a little relieved at the same time.
it isnt written in the handbook, I have to take them....no

but it is 100% in my heart......I love those babies , and could never stand them to be with strangers or in the system.

I have 5, 4yrs old and under..... I would take them all

just been one crazy ass week

just had to scream for a second is all.

stoney

Stoney, I don't have kids or grandkids...but I've been a kid. I'm very old now, but still can't help believing that a committed, loving adult would have made a lot of difference back then. Beyond even that---ANYthing that is 100% in your heart will not dissipate. Follow your heart!

DELSDAUGHTER · 03-01-2010, 07:01 PM

well i am here MS...but i was late getting up this am ...so i had to scoot to work quickly........
just doing a drive by....tonight.....have a great night everyone

02-28-2010, 08:15 AM	#523
casey35 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: a she Relationship Status: finding my way , Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: arkansas Posts: 74 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2 Thanked 108 Times in 32 Posts Rep Power: 859274	stoney i am so sorry that u have to put the empty nest on hold again. May u can find some couples that has the same age kids and be able to spend time with them and relax a bit and enjoy good company. There seems to be a few people in their forties that taking care of children. __________________

02-28-2010, 05:11 PM	#527
LieslKate Member How Do You Identify?: Prime Lesbian Femme Feminist Submissive Amazon Dyke Riot Grrl... :) Preferred Pronoun?: the Feminine... Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Saint John, New Brunswick Canada Posts: 105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 255 Thanked 106 Times in 47 Posts Rep Power: 31	This is gonna get a HUGE shriek of disapproval BUT... there is nothing in the Mom Handbook that says you have to take in grandkids or have adult children move home... Do the grandkids have no other relatives? Where are the other grandparents, any other siblings or cousins age appropriate etc to take responsibility? Is this a matter of you being the only "unmarried" relative and therefore you are free and can take on this responsibilty? Why are you obligated to take them on? If the parents are drug addicts perhaps the kids would be best adopted... As for adult children moving home... just say no, otherwise you are stuck with them 'til you go to the old age home... __________________ *The Life well lived, the Journey blessed.*

02-28-2010, 06:41 PM	#532
Julien Member How Do You Identify?: TG/GenderQueer Preferred Pronoun?: I'm flexible, but only up to a point. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, Gulf Coast area Posts: 1,007 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,247 Thanked 2,702 Times in 737 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hi my name is Graphiteta2s, I wanted to introduce myself. I know you are discussing a very personal topic right now. I just wanted to step forward and wish Stoney the best. I'll step back now and keep reading. G. __________________ Julien “Self-plagiarism is style.” Alfred Hitchcock Formerly known as Graphiteta2s

02-28-2010, 08:07 PM	#536
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	alrighty Lofters...... i think im gonna take a nap before i head to the Nissian plant....... nites __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

03-01-2010, 11:25 AM	#538
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	mawning Lofters...... and afternooners...... its lunch time i suppose.... huh.. lol i love steak salad's if they are made right....... heh ya know. OLJet.... I love that pic you there for your avatar... very handsome dont ever change. heyy Incubus....... hows ur day going over there??? what does your member name mean and how did it come about?? wonder where DELS daughter is this am ... hmmmm mawning to you.... Graphite wait its afternoon ... Oyy see what happens to my . when i drive till 3am ish and dont wake up till a later hour then normal ..mess's me up..lol __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

02-28-2010, 08:01 AM	#522
Stoney Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch lesbian feminist Crone Preferred Pronoun?: Wicked Witch Relationship Status: happily content Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 135 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 229 Times in 60 Posts Rep Power: 245965	well , I doubt that,he has a drug problem....and well... I have raised my grand daughter for the better part of 4 years ne way... it is just damn it .. I wish they would get their shit together.. I dont foresee it...

02-28-2010, 05:34 PM	#528
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	Flying by to say hey... hope everyone is having a good w/e

02-28-2010, 05:53 PM	#530
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,245 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946335	((((((((Stoney))))))) I hope everything works out. I would feel the same as you I think. I raised 2 stepkids who now have nothing to do with me... never could have any of my own. Long sad story...I won't get into it here. I just think that if I were in your position I would hope I would do the same. Good luck to ya hun. Ruthie

02-28-2010, 06:53 PM	#534
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	Reading posts. tonight's fare... tilapia rolled in bread crumbs and dill, browned in olive oil. homemade tarter sauce. BIG tossed salad

03-01-2010, 07:01 PM	#540
DELSDAUGHTER Member How Do You Identify?: femme , with occasional tomboy tendencies Relationship Status: single,just me and the pup... Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: sittin on the Mason-Dixon Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29 Thanked 83 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 429668	well i am here MS...but i was late getting up this am ...so i had to scoot to work quickly........ just doing a drive by....tonight.....have a great night everyone