Mammograms

[Little Fish]

Hello--
Everyone here has given some sound advice and supprort.
Let me offer my own-
I'm a physician. If you want to PM me to discuss further I'd be happy to help however I can....
Having said that, I would also suggest checking out the physician directory for the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA)--they may have docs in your area for both primary care and other specialties as well. Also, larger metro/university medical centers will tend to have more queer/ally staff as a general rule....

Following up on a found lump is frightening, I would encourage you both to just breathe and stay centered. First things first, lets see what we're dealing with here--could be LOTS of other things....
Best of luck to you,
Little Fish, MD ;-)

[pinkajl]

Originally Posted by Little Fish

Following up on a found lump is frightening, I would encourage you both to just breathe and stay centered. First things first, lets see what we're dealing with here--could be LOTS of other things....
Best of luck to you,
Little Fish, MD ;-)

Little Fish,

Thank you very much for chiming in and offering your medical opinion. If it's not too much trouble, could you give us a short list of what some of the "other things" a lump could be related to? My partner is 47.

Pink.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by pinkajl

Little Fish,

Thank you very much for chiming in and offering your medical opinion. If it's not too much trouble, could you give us a short list of what some of the "other things" a lump could be related to? My partner is 47.

Pink.

Hi Pink,

I hope it is ok for a femme to post here.

I am RN and have had to deal with this issue with patients but also personally.

Some "other reasons" for lumps that I have experienced myself: two benign lumps that had to be removed (complete with ultrasound and needle biopsies) and a benign cyst that had to be drained.

It is easy to panic as the spector of breast CA is so scary for all of us-regardless of identity but lumps do not always mean cancer.

Hugs to you both and hang in there.

[pinkajl]

Thinker, thank you for your honesty. That is precisely what we're dealing with. There's that one side to the situation where we know we will not ignore this at all. But there's also that dysphoric smack in the face where you're almost willing to bargain for something more serious to deal with just so you don't have to suffer the violation of identity.

Right or wrong we use humor to cope sometimes and have privately joked that maybe this will get us a 2-for-1 special on top surgery.

Anya, of course I don't mind that femmes post on this thread. I sincerely appreciate any and all thoughtful comments that will help us both cope, individually and together.

Thanks,
Pink

[Turtle]

As usual, I have a "some of this-some of that" opinion of my body...and my breasts in particular.

That said, I find a mammogram one of the less bothersome tests or procedures that can happen. Everybody has a different opinion about what is a bother, a violation, or nervewracking. I find a mammogram a fairly quick test, although, the first time for anything can produce more anxiety.

For me, it would "bother" me more to have a 21 year old bio guy do the mammogram than a 45 year old woman. In my experience different labs have always had women perform mammograms. Some places are better at warming up the surface of the plate better that others or have a nicer environment.

What does bother me is if I perceive that the wait time after the first round of scans takes too long - the wait to see if they need any more images, if the scans are not clear, if I moved, if they see something...if that wait time lasts a nanosecond longer than I think it should anxiety starts creeping in.

Strategies to deal with the whole thing and it's problem spots could be put in place:

Diversion - partner or friend for conversation, reading, video game, etc.

Thought ahead of time - (I am a man)... Do I want to shave off my goatee to get a mammogram - No. Biomen get breast cancer.... When you get a scan, you wear one of those hospital "johnnie" things and they see all types of legs and feet sticking out from there - stillettos and hose, jeans and sneakers, cowboy boots...what are my thoughts and feelings, is all that true, does it matter?????

Fantasy - (to deal with I look like a man, what is HE doing in here) I might consider that I am in a sci-fi scenerio, going thru the same medical screening that everybody - of all different types of bodies - goes thru before we leave the planet on our mission. (yes, i know i'm weird)

So much of this has to do with my thought process of what I look like or who I think I am. Most hospital/lab workers are extremely professional and treat everybody well. They often just do what they have to do to do the test and don't even notice that I present as very butch and am wearing sandals with pink toenails sticking out of them.

And - many lumps are cysts. And - it could be cancer.

A Buddhist tool is to "What if" it -

So - what if it is cancer? - I'll freak out.
What if I freak out? - My honey/friend will help me calm down.
What is I don't calm down? the doctor will give me medication...the doctor will have a plan and present choices.
What if I can't take the medication? - I've always meant to learn how to meditate.
What if ....
What if .....
What if.... ...What if .... I die?

I will be dead, but we are going to Hawaii first, and I'm going to ask our friends to call and invite you over because I know you won't call them, and I'm going to ask you to promise to accept invitations so you don't rot in bed with the covers pulled over your head not knowing that you will eventually come out of it, and I'm gonna get you that red wagon you never got, and I want y'all to sing "Spirit of Life" at my memorial service and I want everybody to get a mylar balloon...

This is a good discussion to have with yourself and your family and friends. Talking about all your concerns actually helps. People often are afraid to talk about dying because people are afraid and and people love each other and people cry, but talking about it helps. It is the hidden thoughts and feelings that become problematic.

Cancer treatment centers know how to take care of people. They have a plan, they will guide you. There ARE choices you can make. They know people, especially people with cancer, need to be able to have some control over their own lives. The medical community is much better at this stuff than they used to be.

I know this seems crazy...and this is what we need to know when hopefully it is just a cyst and holy fucking shit I might have cancer.

May blessings, peace, good friends, and talented care be upon you...

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by pinkajl

Little Fish,

Thank you very much for chiming in and offering your medical opinion. If it's not too much trouble, could you give us a short list of what some of the "other things" a lump could be related to? My partner is 47.

Pink.

Hi Pink,

I'm not a doc and I apologize if this is out of line, but I have polycystic breasts - meaning that they are lumpy as hell! I was sent to a radiologist for my first mammogram just last year because I had a big old lump in my right breast that my family doc was concerned about. Long story short, I was told that I need to come in annually for mammograms since there is really no way for me to discern whether or not a lump is something to worry about.

Even though I am a femme, I have HUGE amounts of anxiety surrounding someone I don't know putting their hands on my body in intimate places. In my daily practice I am currently working on centering my thoughts (especially ruminative thinking) around my third eye. And if you aren't comfy with that lingo just think of it as a bright light that surrounds you, keeping you safe, holding you out of harm's way. And when I am in a situation that is uncomfortable, I channel all of my energy into that safety zone (or bright light) and trust that a higher power is holding me safe.

I hope that doesn't sound too hokey. It takes practice but feels really good when you start to feel the safety and comfort manifesting itself.

Good luck to your partner and please let us know what works for hym if hy is OK with that sharing!

[T4Texas]

I have mammograms yearly and being a cancer survivor, pelvics too. I found the mammogram to be least troublesome of the two and as someone mentioned , its often determined by the attitude of the tech performing it. You have to consider they may not know you are butch or have strong feelings about the procedure. Plus the fact they spend their day smashing peoples breasts so to them its just another customer. You just have to wrap your mind around the fact that its a necessary thing as early detection is key, take a deep breath, endure the discomfort and know that when its over you're in a better place. I found the pelvics to be much more invasive, painful and disturbing for me as a butch, but even that eased up after one of my doctors paitently explained to me..."just tell them to use a smaller speculum". Good luck with it and I hope all goes well.

[pynkkameleon]

I too apologize if I am out of place posting here. In fact, I really debated on saying anything but this is a subject that I am passionate about.

The advice given thus far is excellent. No matter what, the procedure is going to be uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. There's no way around it. It's that way for females and males alike. Yes, I know it is even more so for our butches and men but not having them simply is not an option as far as I'm concerned.

Mammogram technicians will generally do whatever they can to make you feel more comfortable with the procedure. They are professional and compassionate and know that it can be a frightening experience for anyone, particularly when it isn't a "routine" mammogram. I strongly suggest that there be a conversation with the technician. Be honest and voice those concerns.

Early detection is crucial. Self exams need to be performed regularly for both men and women. Many breast cancer patients are able to catch it early when they or a partner detect a difference and it is quickly followed up on. Most lumps turn out to be benign but still need to be followed up with regularly scheduled mammograms. Lumps or other breast changes cannot be ignored. Itching, redness, soreness, nipple discharge and other changes must be followed up on ASAP. Routine yearly mammograms need to be performed for anyone over 40 and even younger for those that have had previous concerns or are considered at high risk.

I found my own lump at 38. In my case it was cancer and had been there long enough to invade my lymph nodes as well. It is scary as hell to go through that but thank the fuck that it was found before it had a chance to spread even further.

Regular healthcare in our community has long been an issue. So many of our Butch and male identified friends and loved ones forgo regular health checks due to being uncomfortable and embarrassed. If you are one of those that avoid it, stop it! Your life is infinitely more valuable than enduring a gynecological exam, colonoscopy or mammogram. We love you and your lives are too precious to lose to something that could have been prevented.

pinkajl, I think that handling it with humor is an important part of the process of dealing with the anxiety of the exam today. Having the procedure will only be a feminizing experience if your Butch allows it to be. Breathe, relax and talk about it both before and after. I am so glad that you are both being proactive and getting it checked immediately. I'll be thinking of you both today.

[pinkajl]

Novellafemme, thank you for your post, as it appears that may be the issue my boi has. I had never heard of that before today. But, after a series of tests today, that's what the radiologist determined.

[Well, actually he said, "You have lumpy breasts." And, when we told our teen sons at supper tonight, the almost 18yo started singing that BEP song My Humps, which was a great tension breaker from this long, long day.]

If you don't mind this question, what do you do about the pain?

To everyone, thank you kindly for all the encouragement and stories. We haven't really talked about the entire experience yet, but we did go out for lunch and did a bit of shopping in the men's department at Macy's.

And now it's time for bed. Good night.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by pinkajl

Novellafemme, thank you for your post, as it appears that may be the issue my boi has. I had never heard of that before today. But, after a series of tests today, that's what the radiologist determined.

[Well, actually he said, "You have lumpy breasts." And, when we told our teen sons at supper tonight, the almost 18yo started singing that BEP song My Humps, which was a great tension breaker from this long, long day.]

If you don't mind this question, what do you do about the pain?

To everyone, thank you kindly for all the encouragement and stories. We haven't really talked about the entire experience yet, but we did go out for lunch and did a bit of shopping in the men's department at Macy's.

And now it's time for bed. Good night.

You are very welcome and I am glad I could help.

Yes, the larger lumps can indeed be quite painful. I would notice mine around my period or during hormonal fluctuations and usually wouldn't take anything, but found that the one above my right breast must have been bothering me because I would wake up feeling very tender from rubbing that particular spot. I would try a heating pad or perhaps even ibuprofen.

Another comforting thing to remember is that most cancerous lumps are not painful upon palpitation. They also feel like peas and are very hard, unlike milk ducts.

You medical folks, please correct me if I'm wrong. This was just advice given to me by the radiologist who read my own scan.

[rustedrims]

I have never posted any of my health issues ever.I never ever NEVER,NEVER,EVER,NEVER talk about this kinda stuff.I dont ever ask my sister-in-law questions either and she has been a nurse for about 30 years.
In this case i happen to know a little bit.

I read this thread a few days ago and it has been sticking in my mind.I gotta post if it helps 1 Butch or 1 Femme to get her Butch to get checked.
To the Fellas we have what we have.Think of it like this if we had anything else we wouldnt get to have all the pretty girls.

With that being said here is my story.It might be kinda long but i am only going to post it once so i am putting it out there.I always got the full physcial like from the nose to the toes.Everything!The Dr. let me keep my socks on.That i was grateful for.The inside stuff i definately did not like.Yes there is 2 sizes to that metal cold thing that he ran under warm water before it go to me.There is no other way to describe it,that thing hurts!I am a giver not a taker.{get it?}.Makes my toes curl every time.Absolutely hate that.Then when that is over he has to "feel around" in there to find something else to see if it is normal size.Cant remember what it is but he needs to find it and get out.He is a good Dr. and a nice guy.He knows i am gay and he is respectful of my lifestyle and the"stuff" he is touching.Now he has a nurse practioner and i have been getting her.She is cute and i make her laugh the whole time i am in there.Kinda lightens the mood.She also lets me keep my socks on.Her hand is smaller to.She always has cold hands and i make a comment about it.That one time i got my moneys worth out of her.I had a few questions and one question lead to the "back door".On went another glove and snapping when she had it on.Roll over on your side and relax.Really? Relax?Through grinding teeth i said "I am."Then the next check-up months later she brought that up and i did remember and i told her that i was good and we dont need to do that again.She started laughing.That stuff always checks out good.Never had any trouble.She told me that i can go i think 2 years without that inside stuff being checked.I said good i dont have to come in then?She said noooo you gotta come in to get the other stuff checked.Oh ok i said.I told her when she is done with me i wouldnt feel like i owe her dinner and a movie.She lost it laughing on that one.If i remember correctly i asked her if i could leave my pants and shoes on.

Now she gets to squeezing my other stuff.I have a little trouble with the left side of things.I have had 2 surgeries so far.There is no cancer yet just those pesky "golf balls" that need to be harvested every 5 years.There is concern and there is something in there that needs to be watched.I have to go back to "The Smasher" on August 7th at 9:00am.The last "smasher" visit showed 2 llittle "golf balls" in there.The nurse lady called me and told me surgery wasnt nessary because they were not big enough.I asked her if she wanted me to grow them bigger so they were easer to see?She started to laugh and said yes.ok.Thing is with all this i need to be aware of the date i was there last because if i over lap my visits to the smasher the insurance will not pay.WTF? I am getting things checked to stay healthy and i get punished for it.Guess it has been about 5 years.If i dont have surgery this year i am sure i will have it the first of next year.Its gonna happen.On a visit to the smasher i was standing there and that girl was doing what she does then she said "I remember you"..I think was the look i had.Then i was thinking she remembers my sparkley blue eyes.Actually i remembered her to and i did have her laughing alot on the last visit.

Ya know i hate all that stuff i do to stay healthy but i do it because it puts my mind at ease that there is nothing wrong with me.All my aches and pains are earned and tolerated.I get the blood work done to.I hate those needles.I always say this to the girl that draws the blood..."The last time i had this done i never felt the needle go in." think about it. Now that lady that is going to stick ya is thinking i cant let this hurt because it will make me look bad if it does.Pressure is on and it doesnt hurt.She is very careful and concentrates more.It works.Say it the next time you are going to get stuck.See if it makes a difference.Because i had the blood work done i found out i have thiroid trouble.The pink pill every morning.Gotta get checked!

To the Butches,
Next time you are in another room and can see your lady making 2 ham sandwitches for lunch,one for you and one for her.A big hand full of potato chips on 2 paper plates with flowers on it.Look at her again making 1 ham sandwitch for herself and 1 paper plate with out any flowers,you were the one who liked the flowers and the chips.Again you arent there.Remember you were "to shy" to get things looked at when you knew you had trouble.Why is she still up reading a book that she read 3 times already at 4:15am?Look in the bed,you arent there either.She cant sleep.Again it is because you were to shy to get your junk checked!You change the oil in your truck and when your dog has the sniffels you take them to the vets.Right.??You take care of your material things.Am i right?To the Butches we have what we have because that is what we have.THATS IT.!!.GET YOUR FUCKING JUNK CHECKED !!!

I am still single and i do all of that on my own.I make all my appointments and drive myself to everything.I tell no one what i am doing as far as health check ups.I do it all myself.It sure would be nice to have a pretty lady sitting beside me in a waiting room putting her hand on my leg to keep it from bouncing nervously thinking of what is to come.When we do meet i will be healthy for her and our new relationship.

To the Femmes:
I hope this helped in some kind of way.You know it is not easy for us to get stuff like this done to ourselves.You are all sensitive kind and comforting to us in this uncomfortable situation we must go through to remain healthy.
Thank you for being who you all are.I appreciate it more than i can say.

I am sorry if i offended anyone.That wasnt my intention.I could always use some more Butch friends to.

Be healthy and safe.Any questions PM's are welcome.We are all in this lifestyle together.
Thank you for reading.

Sheila

[mariamma]

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

Hi Pink,
Even though I am a femme, I have HUGE amounts of anxiety surrounding someone I don't know putting their hands on my body in intimate places. In my daily practice I am currently working on centering my thoughts (especially ruminative thinking) around my third eye. And if you aren't comfy with that lingo just think of it as a bright light that surrounds you, keeping you safe, holding you out of harm's way. And when I am in a situation that is uncomfortable, I channel all of my energy into that safety zone (or bright light) and trust that a higher power is holding me safe.
!

You are wise Novelafemme. Hormones, neurotransmitters and other trace protein structures are often what will cause or cure dis-ease. It matters how you focus your energy. Good luck in your journeys and trips around the sun.
Be well

[Little Fish]

Pynk,
I apologize for not getting back to this yesterday.

You asked for a "short list" of what else a lump could be and the good news for you and your Butch is this, I can't give you a "short list" b/c the list is incredibly long--and the majority of things on that list ARE NOT CANCER.

I do not know the nuances of your Butch's situation nor do I need to for the sake of this conversation, I will say this though--breast tissue in women is subject to cyclical hormonal influences and things like number of pregnancies influence women's risk of breast cancer. (To be clear for other readers, studies have indicated that women with no or fewer pregnancies than average have higher rates of breast cancer. Thus lesbians with their presumed fewer/zero pregnancies are at increased risk, as are nuns. I know, an ironic pairing. )
But the reality is, breast tissue isn't the only thing in the breast--muscle, skin, lymph nodes, sweat glands etc--all of these things can occassionally grow up a cyst or some other abnormal collection of cells/tissue--(not cancer per se, just some wierd thingy--yes, my official doctor language is at work here)--which when felt as a lump, scare the hell out of us. I get that.

But again, mammo--and biopsy if necessary. Keep breathing, stay centered. It's just information gathering right now--no need to pitch head long into scariness until we know what we're dealing with, yes? Seem reasonable? And yes I know, easier said....

On a more personal/intimate note, the experience is challenging in itself, even more so for those of us claiming butch or trans. The cold water shock and associated violation of identity you spoke of can be quite painful and difficult to negotiate. I agree with many of the comments aboove, let your Butch lead but also trust your own instincts. Femmes know Butches in a way no other woman does, and you know yours best... Some private re-aasurance and re-affirmation of your Butch's masculinity, in whatever way you two celebrate that, may go a long way in settling the Butch soul.

Keep in touch,
Little Fish