What is your calling?

mariamma · 07-08-2012, 01:16 PM

I am scared of my Calling and have been actively avoiding it since I was 24. I'm scared because I'm alone in it (not really, *waves at fellow alien claybaby*) and I feel destined for a life of no money, no partner, no way out but writing and pulling myself up and hoping someone pays me for writing. Not writing what said person wants me to write (as in a job as a copywriter) but in writing what my spirit guide needs me to write.
It's in part because I want to be part of the Lesbian Intelligencia (the smart dykes club). And to be accepted, you have to earn money. Otherwise, you're invalid, a stay-at home mom, living off of someone else. Yet I am Priestess and have to live off what is freely given. That's how that system works. One cannot demand payment in currency. It has to be an energetically clean exchange of goods for services since I get info from spirits and as long as I have a smooth, clean connection, things work. If I'm stressed about money, trying to earn a certain amount a month, etc. that hormonal change decreases psychic connection and clarity of info. Specific, activation of the HPA axis and a spike in cortisol T unbalanced by other hormones.
It is my Calling to do the work of another, to collect info and write in honor of MamiWata (and GiftingMother), to bring back Shamanic tradition in women since connecting to the Source works via E (other hormones too but mostly E), to connect women to ourselves and all life thru promotion of energy work, to remind women of ancient Amazon traditions that we are still battling today (energy exchange, deforestation, global climate change, slavery, dishonoring of E and fear of E violence against LGBTQI people, exploitation versus fair-trade/organic/sustainable culture, etc.).
Most are here already. A daily spiritual practice (walking, yoga, meditation, dream work, dance, art, music, sex, etc.) is fundamental and many have a daily spiritual practice. Some have autoimmune diseases and need to become Rei Ki, Prana, energy practitioners in order to heal. A few will produce too much energy and feed spirits and demi-gods (and maybe they want to do other things with their energy).
I'm scared of my Calling because the first Goddess to claim me is MamiWata. She is twinned-souled, a mirror Who reflects back to you what you give Her. The second is Athena Who appeared from a crack of light before me, stepped out and sliced off my head with a huge sword, claiming "You are My woman! This (the head) is Mine. That (the body) is yours."
I'm scared yet I love MamiWata and Athena more than I can love a person. And They and my spirit guide who directs my life love me stronger than anyone ever has (I am one of those people who was unloved by my mother. luckily I was loved by my older sister. no one has come close to loving me as deeply as the Source, the Universe, the Goddess, MamiWata , Erzulie, Papa Legba, Black Athena or any other Godds I've met).
It is my Calling to finish GiftingMother's work. It's mine only in that I am threading together information into a narrative and spiritual practice. The info is and has been out there for years but discredited. Now modern neurobiology is a booming enterprise and what was poo-pooed is now coming accepted truth.
I trust the Godds more than I trust living humans. Humans lie for pride, profit, because they can't be wrong, etc. Humans tolerate dishonor as where spirits who lie, cheat, steal are not good and avoided at all costs (or hunted). The Godds cannot. Which is why They are Godds and we are lowly humans.
I'm scared of being alone in my Calling but this is my destiny. I cannot change my life. The Secret doesn't apply to me. I'm almost 43 and whenever I try to change my life, my spirit guide keeps me on her track. We're supposed to be in charge yet that doesn't apply to me. I am what one might call...pwned. I have to do my Calling in order to free myself, emerge into the woman I'm supposed to be. Maybe I should look forward to the good part. I can't see that far ahead though. But how else can I accept my Calling?

princessbelle · 07-08-2012, 05:15 PM

I believe you can certainly have more than one calling and that any calling can develop into a bigger area of learning and living....

Listening to my mother tell the stories, i have been a nurse since i was born. She tells of the times when i was very young, 5-6, when i would turn our home into a hospital and have baby dolls in all of the rooms where i would check on them and give them medication.

Nursing is definitely my calling. No doubt whatsoever. I married young and did not go to college right away. As with another calling i have, i raised my babies. I worked in doctors offices throughout the years and in hospitals. Anywhere i could to be around medicine.

When i finally went back to college and received my degree in nursing, my life was fulfilled. I have people ask me why didn't i become a doctor. As it would be a step down to become "just" a nurse? It is so very different. It is a different type of practicing medicine. Nurses protect patients, besides healing them. We are patient advocates and we stand, many more times than people realize, between doctors and patients to protect. We heal more than the symptoms, we help change people's lives by how they live. We request the help of many medical personal from different areas, such as therapies and social workers and sometimes the state, to better serve our patients.

We take an oath. We stand before our communities, our family, friends and before God and take an oath to always act on the behalf of the patient and in their best interest.

There are many nurses on this site. I will guarantee that we have all stood up to family, doctors, specialist and higher management within organizations when we have needed to on behalf of our patients.

A few years back i achieved the Nursing Geriatric Certification, and am now an RNC. This has become my passion. Our beautiful older population is very special with their own needs, abilities and right to live a long, happy life. My calling has developed into being their voice. I am involved with our Hospice side as well and will fight for anyone's right to die when it becomes apparent that is the end result of the illness.

What a wonderful achievement in life to find your calling and to be able to live it. Love reading these stories. Just a simply beautiful thread.

Rockinonahigh · 07-08-2012, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

I believe you can certainly have more than one calling and that any calling can develop into a bigger area of learning and living....

Listening to my mother tell the stories, i have been a nurse since i was born. She tells of the times when i was very young, 5-6, when i would turn our home into a hospital and have baby dolls in all of the rooms where i would check on them and give them medication.

Nursing is definitely my calling. No doubt whatsoever. I married young and did not go to college right away. As with another calling i have, i raised my babies. I worked in doctors offices throughout the years and in hospitals. Anywhere i could to be around medicine.

When i finally went back to college and received my degree in nursing, my life was fulfilled. I have people ask me why didn't i become a doctor. As it would be a step down to become "just" a nurse? It is so very different. It is a different type of practicing medicine. Nurses protect patients, besides healing them. We are patient advocates and we stand, many more times than people realize, between doctors and patients to protect. We heal more than the symptoms, we help change people's lives by how they live. We request the help of many medical personal from different areas, such as therapies and social workers and sometimes the state, to better serve our patients.

We take an oath. We stand before our communities, our family, friends and before God and take an oath to always act on the behalf of the patient and in their best interest.

There are many nurses on this site. I will guarantee that we have all stood up to family, doctors, specialist and higher management within organizations when we have needed to on behalf of our patients.

A few years back i achieved the Nursing Geriatric Certification, and am now an RNC. This has become my passion. Our beautiful older population is very special with their own needs, abilities and right to live a long, happy life. My calling has developed into being their voice. I am involved with our Hospice side as well and will fight for anyone's right to die when it becomes apparent that is the end result of the illness.

What a wonderful achievement in life to find your calling and to be able to live it. Love reading these stories. Just a simply beautiful thread.

Very well said,the care of our elders is something that I hold very close to my heart.Keep doing what you are doing because what you do for the people you see each day gives more than you will ever know.

Tuff Stuff · 08-17-2015, 08:33 PM

These days my calling is wherever the day (or night) takes me.Before that I raised two kids,and for the last 20 years i guess that was my calling.

I share my mind,my knowlege,my life experiences,my body,my time with people I give a damn about...online and in real time.

Call me the messenger,a teacher,a ghost.

07-08-2012, 05:15 PM	#2
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I believe you can certainly have more than one calling and that any calling can develop into a bigger area of learning and living.... Listening to my mother tell the stories, i have been a nurse since i was born. She tells of the times when i was very young, 5-6, when i would turn our home into a hospital and have baby dolls in all of the rooms where i would check on them and give them medication. Nursing is definitely my calling. No doubt whatsoever. I married young and did not go to college right away. As with another calling i have, i raised my babies. I worked in doctors offices throughout the years and in hospitals. Anywhere i could to be around medicine. When i finally went back to college and received my degree in nursing, my life was fulfilled. I have people ask me why didn't i become a doctor. As it would be a step down to become "just" a nurse? It is so very different. It is a different type of practicing medicine. Nurses protect patients, besides healing them. We are patient advocates and we stand, many more times than people realize, between doctors and patients to protect. We heal more than the symptoms, we help change people's lives by how they live. We request the help of many medical personal from different areas, such as therapies and social workers and sometimes the state, to better serve our patients. We take an oath. We stand before our communities, our family, friends and before God and take an oath to always act on the behalf of the patient and in their best interest. There are many nurses on this site. I will guarantee that we have all stood up to family, doctors, specialist and higher management within organizations when we have needed to on behalf of our patients. A few years back i achieved the Nursing Geriatric Certification, and am now an RNC. This has become my passion. Our beautiful older population is very special with their own needs, abilities and right to live a long, happy life. My calling has developed into being their voice. I am involved with our Hospice side as well and will fight for anyone's right to die when it becomes apparent that is the end result of the illness. What a wonderful achievement in life to find your calling and to be able to live it. Love reading these stories. Just a simply beautiful thread. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

07-08-2012, 01:16 PM	#1
mariamma Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,458 Thanked 1,115 Times in 281 Posts Rep Power: 9628891	I am scared of my Calling and have been actively avoiding it since I was 24. I'm scared because I'm alone in it (not really, waves at fellow alien claybaby) and I feel destined for a life of no money, no partner, no way out but writing and pulling myself up and hoping someone pays me for writing. Not writing what said person wants me to write (as in a job as a copywriter) but in writing what my spirit guide needs me to write. It's in part because I want to be part of the Lesbian Intelligencia (the smart dykes club). And to be accepted, you have to earn money. Otherwise, you're invalid, a stay-at home mom, living off of someone else. Yet I am Priestess and have to live off what is freely given. That's how that system works. One cannot demand payment in currency. It has to be an energetically clean exchange of goods for services since I get info from spirits and as long as I have a smooth, clean connection, things work. If I'm stressed about money, trying to earn a certain amount a month, etc. that hormonal change decreases psychic connection and clarity of info. Specific, activation of the HPA axis and a spike in cortisol T unbalanced by other hormones. It is my Calling to do the work of another, to collect info and write in honor of MamiWata (and GiftingMother), to bring back Shamanic tradition in women since connecting to the Source works via E (other hormones too but mostly E), to connect women to ourselves and all life thru promotion of energy work, to remind women of ancient Amazon traditions that we are still battling today (energy exchange, deforestation, global climate change, slavery, dishonoring of E and fear of E violence against LGBTQI people, exploitation versus fair-trade/organic/sustainable culture, etc.). Most are here already. A daily spiritual practice (walking, yoga, meditation, dream work, dance, art, music, sex, etc.) is fundamental and many have a daily spiritual practice. Some have autoimmune diseases and need to become Rei Ki, Prana, energy practitioners in order to heal. A few will produce too much energy and feed spirits and demi-gods (and maybe they want to do other things with their energy). I'm scared of my Calling because the first Goddess to claim me is MamiWata. She is twinned-souled, a mirror Who reflects back to you what you give Her. The second is Athena Who appeared from a crack of light before me, stepped out and sliced off my head with a huge sword, claiming "You are My woman! This (the head) is Mine. That (the body) is yours." I'm scared yet I love MamiWata and Athena more than I can love a person. And They and my spirit guide who directs my life love me stronger than anyone ever has (I am one of those people who was unloved by my mother. luckily I was loved by my older sister. no one has come close to loving me as deeply as the Source, the Universe, the Goddess, MamiWata , Erzulie, Papa Legba, Black Athena or any other Godds I've met). It is my Calling to finish GiftingMother's work. It's mine only in that I am threading together information into a narrative and spiritual practice. The info is and has been out there for years but discredited. Now modern neurobiology is a booming enterprise and what was poo-pooed is now coming accepted truth. I trust the Godds more than I trust living humans. Humans lie for pride, profit, because they can't be wrong, etc. Humans tolerate dishonor as where spirits who lie, cheat, steal are not good and avoided at all costs (or hunted). The Godds cannot. Which is why They are Godds and we are lowly humans. I'm scared of being alone in my Calling but this is my destiny. I cannot change my life. The Secret doesn't apply to me. I'm almost 43 and whenever I try to change my life, my spirit guide keeps me on her track. We're supposed to be in charge yet that doesn't apply to me. I am what one might call...pwned. I have to do my Calling in order to free myself, emerge into the woman I'm supposed to be. Maybe I should look forward to the good part. I can't see that far ahead though. But how else can I accept my Calling?

08-17-2015, 08:33 PM	#4
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	These days my calling is wherever the day (or night) takes me.Before that I raised two kids,and for the last 20 years i guess that was my calling. I share my mind,my knowlege,my life experiences,my body,my time with people I give a damn about...online and in real time. Call me the messenger,a teacher,a ghost.