Can a poly/mono work? - Page 2

JDeere · 07-24-2016, 08:15 PM

I think it can work if the work is put into the relationship, communication is key in my opinion. Keeping an open dialogue between all parties is good, so noone feels like there is any problems not being addressed, etc.

candy_coated_bitch · 07-24-2016, 10:27 PM

I tried once. I was the mono half in the couple. Omg, it was nothing but a headache and struggle to reach compromise. It did NOT work and I would never try again. Just for me personally. Good luck to those who try!

JDeere · 07-29-2016, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch

I tried once. I was the mono half in the couple. Omg, it was nothing but a headache and struggle to reach compromise. It did NOT work and I would never try again. Just for me personally. Good luck to those who try!

It isn't easy, I agree. Sometimes things just don't work out.

JDeere · 08-07-2016, 07:39 PM

BUMP BUMP I know more folks got something to say!

imperfect_cupcake · 09-20-2016, 07:57 PM

I've been thinking about this again, having gone out on a couple of dates.

I'm "monogamish" meaning, I'm fairly monogamous emotionally. I don't really go out looking for other people to get involved with, I don't feel I need it. I don't mind having extra curricular sex if it's offered but to me more than one relationship is, frankly, a fucking headache.

I'm a submissive. Dealing with the demands of more than one dominant is a pain in the fucking ass.

I need a lot of alone time, a lot of time for my career, my friends. I'm pretty happy with being single because of the time and peace and quiet it gives me. So I find monogamous relationships too intense. They pretty much require that they are my main focus in life. I am my main focus in life. I am my primary partner/relationship. I find it difficult when dating monogamous folk to get them to SLOW DOWN. Take it easy. I'd prefer if you didn't call me or text me every day. Not because I don't want to talk to you, but I don't talk to anyone every day.

Its highly unlikely I'd find anyone to have sex with outside a relationship- I've been single 4 years and I haven't had sex for 2 years now, cause there isn't anyone. I need brains, humour and a casual relaxed fit to have sex. I'm fully in support of hook ups, or friendship with benefits, or sex buddies. But I have no idea where I could get that. I don't see anything possible like that for a middle aged femme in my city.

So I would be one of those people who is mostly monogamous that would be fine with poly, depending on how the poly was done. I'm also happy to be someone's secondary these days because then their desire to have a nesting partner and be domestic with someone is already fulfilled. I can be the fun date a couple times a month to go and do great things with, eat great food and then have amazing sex. Then they go home and Argue about taking out the trash with someone who wants to share a bathroom with them.

JDeere · 09-20-2016, 08:55 PM

There is ALOT of different politics involved, that's for sure. That is one main thing that keeps me from getting too serious, I have issues dealing with certain things that are involved in a poly/mono.

LoyalWolfsBlade · 09-21-2016, 01:10 AM

Way back when I first posted in this thread I believe I stated something along the lines of.
It would depend on the type of Poly relationship and frankly the type of person the "mono" individual is. For in my experience there are about as many different types of Poly, many different types of Poly Homes and even Leather Homes.
None of that matters without 100% open communication among all parties from the first that continues. As others have said I don't think jealousy is what could end it. Not if all involved are communicating needs, if all want the relationship, and in my opinion people are either hard wired to be Poly or to be Mono. Every relationship takes works sometimes question is are you and the others willing to do the gut wrenching wrok that may pop up.
Why turn away a chance from being happy unless of course you know you won't be happy.

07-24-2016, 10:27 PM	#2
candy_coated_bitch Pixie Stick How Do You Identify?: The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 11,293 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,723 Thanked 31,820 Times in 6,109 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I tried once. I was the mono half in the couple. Omg, it was nothing but a headache and struggle to reach compromise. It did NOT work and I would never try again. Just for me personally. Good luck to those who try! __________________ My Etsy Shop My Patreon My Website

09-20-2016, 08:55 PM	#6
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,832 Times in 9,707 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	There is ALOT of different politics involved, that's for sure. That is one main thing that keeps me from getting too serious, I have issues dealing with certain things that are involved in a poly/mono. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

09-21-2016, 01:10 AM	#7
LoyalWolfsBlade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pre-Op FtM, Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones plz Relationship Status: Single but haven't given up on finding the One Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: I gaze upon the same moon as you do Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,214 Thanked 9,646 Times in 3,123 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Way back when I first posted in this thread I believe I stated something along the lines of. It would depend on the type of Poly relationship and frankly the type of person the "mono" individual is. For in my experience there are about as many different types of Poly, many different types of Poly Homes and even Leather Homes. None of that matters without 100% open communication among all parties from the first that continues. As others have said I don't think jealousy is what could end it. Not if all involved are communicating needs, if all want the relationship, and in my opinion people are either hard wired to be Poly or to be Mono. Every relationship takes works sometimes question is are you and the others willing to do the gut wrenching wrok that may pop up. Why turn away a chance from being happy unless of course you know you won't be happy. __________________ Life should never be stagnant hence my quest for new knowledge will continue until my last breath. Wolf

07-24-2016, 08:15 PM	#1
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,832 Times in 9,707 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I think it can work if the work is put into the relationship, communication is key in my opinion. Keeping an open dialogue between all parties is good, so noone feels like there is any problems not being addressed, etc.

08-07-2016, 07:39 PM	#4
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,832 Times in 9,707 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	BUMP BUMP I know more folks got something to say!

09-20-2016, 07:57 PM	#5
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,710 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've been thinking about this again, having gone out on a couple of dates. I'm "monogamish" meaning, I'm fairly monogamous emotionally. I don't really go out looking for other people to get involved with, I don't feel I need it. I don't mind having extra curricular sex if it's offered but to me more than one relationship is, frankly, a fucking headache. I'm a submissive. Dealing with the demands of more than one dominant is a pain in the fucking ass. I need a lot of alone time, a lot of time for my career, my friends. I'm pretty happy with being single because of the time and peace and quiet it gives me. So I find monogamous relationships too intense. They pretty much require that they are my main focus in life. I am my main focus in life. I am my primary partner/relationship. I find it difficult when dating monogamous folk to get them to SLOW DOWN. Take it easy. I'd prefer if you didn't call me or text me every day. Not because I don't want to talk to you, but I don't talk to anyone every day. Its highly unlikely I'd find anyone to have sex with outside a relationship- I've been single 4 years and I haven't had sex for 2 years now, cause there isn't anyone. I need brains, humour and a casual relaxed fit to have sex. I'm fully in support of hook ups, or friendship with benefits, or sex buddies. But I have no idea where I could get that. I don't see anything possible like that for a middle aged femme in my city. So I would be one of those people who is mostly monogamous that would be fine with poly, depending on how the poly was done. I'm also happy to be someone's secondary these days because then their desire to have a nesting partner and be domestic with someone is already fulfilled. I can be the fun date a couple times a month to go and do great things with, eat great food and then have amazing sex. Then they go home and Argue about taking out the trash with someone who wants to share a bathroom with them.