More on where do I fit in? Labels, why do we need them?

yotlyolqualli · 07-21-2012, 06:26 AM

I used to identify as femme, till I came here.

Now I identify as a submissive femme, with a disqualifier, lol. I am only submissive to one person. ONLY.

I've discovered, through no conscious decision of my own, that I am also heteronormative and while that word being flung in my face at first confused me (didn't know what the hell it was) then angered me (because it was thrown in my face) I began to embrace it.

I suppose, if semantics were what was truly the argument about labels, I should be identifying myself as a lesbian submissive heternormative wife... that way people could identify me as

A)lesbian
B)submissive (wife) (wife being the disqualifier)
C) heternomative

Then again, and having posted all that I did, very tongue in cheek, I think the only label I am truly comfortable with, is Malissa Jane, the name my Mother gave to me. Everything after that truly is semantics and while I do understand the need for labels, I also think that we're missing the oppurtunity to truly get to know someone for themselves, and not the "label" that's only printed on their forehead on online forums.

bcelly1894 · 09-16-2012, 11:19 PM

I call myself a soft butch, teddybear dominant.
I added on the TeddyBear part because of my short fat size, And alot of my behaviour and ways of thinking always seem to mimic the definitions and characteristics of the gay male Bear. Along with the fact that most femmes just kept calling me a sweet, cuddly teddybear, Hearing that made me feel like a child, So, I embraced it instead, And it just stuck.
Growing up in a big city, I only stayed around butches who were more manly looking and acting, And to them, I was always slightly less butch than them, But with an extremely dominant and stubborn nature. So, still butch anyway.

07-21-2012, 06:26 AM	#1
yotlyolqualli Member How Do You Identify?: submissive femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: moving forward and not looking back... anything is possible! Join Date: May 2012 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 242 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,206 Thanked 1,272 Times in 184 Posts Rep Power: 21357560	I used to identify as femme, till I came here. Now I identify as a submissive femme, with a disqualifier, lol. I am only submissive to one person. ONLY. I've discovered, through no conscious decision of my own, that I am also heteronormative and while that word being flung in my face at first confused me (didn't know what the hell it was) then angered me (because it was thrown in my face) I began to embrace it. I suppose, if semantics were what was truly the argument about labels, I should be identifying myself as a lesbian submissive heternormative wife... that way people could identify me as A)lesbian B)submissive (wife) (wife being the disqualifier) C) heternomative Then again, and having posted all that I did, very tongue in cheek, I think the only label I am truly comfortable with, is Malissa Jane, the name my Mother gave to me. Everything after that truly is semantics and while I do understand the need for labels, I also think that we're missing the oppurtunity to truly get to know someone for themselves, and not the "label" that's only printed on their forehead on online forums. __________________ ~Love is a verb~

09-16-2012, 11:19 PM	#2
bcelly1894 Timed Out How Do You Identify?: sb Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: the earth Posts: 36 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32 Thanked 78 Times in 26 Posts Rep Power: 0	I call myself a soft butch, teddybear dominant. I added on the TeddyBear part because of my short fat size, And alot of my behaviour and ways of thinking always seem to mimic the definitions and characteristics of the gay male Bear. Along with the fact that most femmes just kept calling me a sweet, cuddly teddybear, Hearing that made me feel like a child, So, I embraced it instead, And it just stuck. Growing up in a big city, I only stayed around butches who were more manly looking and acting, And to them, I was always slightly less butch than them, But with an extremely dominant and stubborn nature. So, still butch anyway.