Bravehearts: FTMs who cannot or choose not to medically transition

[Nadeest]

It could certainly happen, Alix. I, for one, would have no problem going out with someone that is transgendered, but has no wish to change their body. I'm more concerned with the quality and type of person that they are,rather then the body that they have.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

Nadesst thank you for your encouragement. This world needs more people that think that way no matter what sexuality or gender they are in my opinion. Where it is the quality of the person that matters most. It is also my responsibility to do my best to get back to not caring what others think of me so that I am truer to myself. Don't get me wrong I have been lucky enough to meet a femme on this site that accepted my identity however it was one of those wrong place wrong time situations. Where we both agreed that we had met at the wrong time. Actually she is part of the reason I had the courage finally to come to this section of BFP. So I do know there are femmes out there whether they identify as lesbian or queer that love us and are open to being with us. I just need to move to a different location I think and I am actually taking steps to do that.

I also know that the women that love us go through their own struggles and pain. I thank every one of them for the courage that takes as well.

[Nadeest]

Alix, in some ways, I am in a similar position. I am a transgendered female that has basically transitioned, except for completing the remodeling of my body. I have not yet had SRS, and I may never be able to afford that, though I do plan on having it.

I fear that a lot of people are not willing to accept that about me, in a lover; men, as well as women. I am primarily concerned about the lesbian community, however, as I am primarily attracted to women.

For them, if I don't have a vagina, what use am I to them, sexually? For my part, if they cannot accept me, fully and completely, the way that I am now, why should I want them in my life after I have SRS?

[JustJo]

If I may tiptoe in...

I'm one of those late-blooming femmes that lived as straight until I was about 40. My time in this community is relatively short, and even in the last decade, my life has been more about getting an education, furthering my career and raising my son than it has been about relationships.

I have heard and seen ugliness towards transgendered people, both in and out of this community...and for me it is both disgusting and heartbreaking that anyone would feel so free to harshly judge someone simply because they are different. For me, transphobia is the absolute equivalent of racism...and just as fundamentally wrong.

When I first joined this site, I was confused (and questioned) why someone who identified and lived as male would want to be here. I believe it was Linus who posted something that resonated with me about this community being the equivalent of a home town that you love.....it may no longer be where you live exactly, but it's a part of your history and your heart that you treasure and cling to.

When I first started talking to Snack I was upfront with him that this was new to me...and that I had never been in a relationship with anyone who was trans. He understands this, thankfully, and has been both patient and generous with sharing his experiences, thoughts and feelings.

For me, he is a guy....my guy...and, in some ways, it's almost like a return to "straight" life as he is seen as male by most people. There are exceptions, but they are rare. Whether or not he medically transitions is immaterial to me. That is his very personal decision....and one I will suppport no matter which direction he chooses.

For me, physical anatomy is merely that....and whether someone has a vagina or not is about as important as how tall they are. It just doesn't matter. Who he is....his values, his character, his sense of humor, and how he lives his life....matters infinitely more.

If someone is shallow enough to judge based purely on the physical....I don't have time for them, no matter who they are or how they identify. I choose to live my life with those who have more depth than that.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

I guess I have a question and did not know any better place to put but in this thread. Bear with Me please as I may not word it correctly or may ramble or stumble around it. For those that know Me yes even I can be a little gun shy or a loss for the right words sometimes. As I have stated earlier I am TG when I am most honest with Myself that is how I ID in this lovely society of labels. When I sit with Myself and think about what that means to Me it is almost like I am caught between two worlds, Butch and FTM, because I am neither yet closer to FTM due to My masculinity. I have no desire to transition or take T I feel every bit masculine and even a male at times. However I have no desire to date straight women been there done that no thank you my heart can not take it but that is Me. I have finally come to a point that I am ready to date and for the first time am I attempting to be more honest about My ID had no problem on the other site for some reason *shrug*.
I also do not have a lot of butch friends in real life because of being TG but that may be because of My location though I am close to Chicago and Madison so who knows.
I guess My question is since I am single and I do want a community did I make a mistake joining a butch-femme site? Feel free to respond here or send Me a pm if your uncomfortable doing so. Thank you in advance. ALix

[Corkey]

I have lots of Butch friends, right here. Do you really think you made a mistake, or are you just not comfortable on the site? Personally I have friends all over the spectrum, their gender is not why we're friends, who they are as people matter a heck of a lot more.

Color me confused.

[LoyalWolfsBlade]

See if that helps. Sorry for confusion.