|
|
|
08-14-2012, 03:01 PM
|
#1 | |
|
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Regular, with sugar 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: .
Posts: 681
Thanks: 472
Thanked 1,333 Times in 501 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852   |
Quote:
|
|
|
|
| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Maria For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 03:16 PM
|
#2 |
|
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts
Rep Power: 10000025  |
Parker - You touched on something that I REALLY REALLY want to talk about and might go start a thread in the Red Zone about it.
I think that a lot of us were a party to some of the groundwork that was laid on the Dash that dictated that Butch = certain things and Femme = certain things. I think it has really been pivotal to how some people have shaped their gender presentation and also some of the reason we keep having to have the circular conversation of what is good objectification and what is bad objectification. In my mind there is a lot of gray area in the Butch/Femme dynamic and I think that people really worked to try to make it a black/white issue back then. Hence the "He" for Butches and "Femmes never pack" ideaology. Anyway, just wanted to say I hear you.
__________________
. . . |
|
|
|
| The Following 27 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 04:47 PM
|
#3 |
|
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch-BLW Preferred Pronoun?:
Default-She Relationship Status:
Closed Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 636
Thanks: 488
Thanked 1,378 Times in 461 Posts
Rep Power: 12988704 |
This thread leads me to tell a story. Seems I always have a story.
I don't know how many years ago it happened. I belonged to a group of Butchly sorts. We communicated by a yahoo group when we weren't at a gathering at someones home or out and about taking our girlfriends a night on the town. The conversation truly was confusing me, especially because it was on line and things just get lost in translation. The topic was about Mr. Softee...which confused me even more. So....I had to ask....What does that have to do with ice cream?  Needless to say, to this day, they still tease me about that comment.
__________________
You know that place between sleep and awake,
the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. ~Tinkerbell~ |
|
|
|
| The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to OS Butch For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 05:15 PM
|
#4 |
|
Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
butch stone Preferred Pronoun?:
masculine ones work best... Relationship Status:
♥ engaged to spritz ♥ 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: bangor, maine
Posts: 3,344
Thanks: 20,720
Thanked 16,492 Times in 2,972 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Early on as a butch I didn't pack or strap-on. Hell, I didn't know there was such a thing. I knew I was not feminine and that I appreciated women but being a lesbian for me has been a growing experience. The person I am is fluid in my likes and dislikes (about myself) and I have changed consistantly... in a fuid way. I've questioned and wondered and explored.
When I was a non-packer I was true to myself and I was content and happy with me at that time. I have changed since and I prefer to pack now. Does that make me any more butch than who I was before... absolutely not. Was it because "everyone else" was doing it? Not at all. In fact not many, if any of my realtime friends pack... Okay one, he's trans... But there's nothing wrong or less-than about an individual who does not pack for being true to self and enjoying the you and your sexuality as you see fit. Being authentic and true to self is what makes the butch... |
|
|
|
| The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to jac For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 07:02 PM
|
#5 | |
|
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
Happy  Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic.
Posts: 9,234
Thanks: 9,840
Thanked 34,618 Times in 7,640 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Quote:
It would be nice to be able to have conversations about these kinds of things. Is the Red Zone the place to have them? In my experience, the Red Zone perpetuates the circular conversation along with a lot of anger, emotion, hurt feelings and nastiness. This, in turn, makes it harder for non-popular or non-dominant thoughts to be expressed. One has to decide if expressing an idea or opinion is worth the aggravation of doing so. It is also a peer pressure thing. To be unpopularly blunt about it, we try our best to ignore or downplay the fact that the same masculine-feminine dynamics, the same internalized sexism/misogyny on both sides of the dynamic, which created and fuel the dichotomy in the first place, just get replicated in a Red Zone arena. Thus, what could be a fruitful and exploratory conversation with lessons learned on all sides, becomes a monologue of many to reinforce the status quo. Red Zone does make it easier for the mods tho.
__________________
|
|
|
|
|
| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Kobi For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 10:19 PM
|
#6 |
|
Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme, naturellement Preferred Pronoun?:
Elle Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: new york
Posts: 686
Thanks: 76
Thanked 1,223 Times in 478 Posts
Rep Power: 5661332 |
"Lots of femmes pack! " (Maria)
It was a rhetorical question meant to open up the conversation! I find packing femmes hot! Elle*
__________________
You will hear thunder and remember me, And think: she wanted storms. The rim Of the sky will be the colour of hard crimson, And your heart, as it was then, will be on fire. Anna Akhmatova "White nights" |
|
|
|
| The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to femmennoir For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 10:24 PM
|
#7 |
|
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,447 Times in 7,284 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 |
No interest in packing by butch or femme.
Now I said packing, not strapping, to be clear and all.
__________________
~Anya~  Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner |
|
|
|
| The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post: |
|
08-14-2012, 10:24 PM
|
#8 | |
|
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Livin’ the Dream
Posts: 24,079
Thanks: 30,560
Thanked 54,830 Times in 13,908 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873 |
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
09-11-2012, 07:50 AM
|
#9 | |
|
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Femm Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
**loved by many** 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Closer to the waves
Posts: 15,395
Thanks: 29,145
Thanked 40,962 Times in 10,745 Posts
Rep Power: 21474865 |
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Bèsame* For This Useful Post: |
 |
| Tags |
| dislike, packing |
|
|
Hybrid Mode
