Wedding planning

[Sparkle]

Originally Posted by guihong

The first-a small wedding and a big party-is correct, but OP, please don't do either of the other two things. It's not really good etiquette to tell your guests what to buy you (i.e. a honeymoon), or to say anything like "in lieu of gifts, donate to this charity". That's supposed to be the couple's business, and a wedding is not a fundraiser.

I don't agree at all

While I believe wholeheartedly in good manners, I do not subscribe to "Miss Manners" rules of etiquette because I think they are antiquated and represent a society and culture we (most of us) no longer live in.

Almost all guests attending weddings recognize how god awfully expensive it is to throw a wedding/reception event. More than half of all guests give money to the couple, NOT items off a registry anyway. In fact in my experience almost everyone arrives with a card and a cheque enclosed.

IMHO, setting up a honeymoon fund or a charitable giving fund is no different than setting up a traditional registry where people buy you blenders and pieces of china etc. And I think guests prefer it to writing a cheque, its nice to know my $100 dollars is going to the Southern Poverty Law Center or our local animal shelter and I don't mind at all if my gift is helping to send them on a scuba diving trip or a tour of the Forum, in fact as a guest I would much prefer that to buying them a toaster oven or a ridiculously expensive tea setting.