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#1 |
Timed Out
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Yes your right every person does deserve love. Sometimes its just not the right time for some I guess. Right now it's me time. As far as family thats an even harder one , people suggest therapy but I did that for so long and it never worked,but maybe ill try again
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#2 | |
Infamous Member
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Sometimes it is just not the right fit even if they are highly skilled. If you truly gave it your best and feel like you never got anywhere, it really is time to find another therapist. I remember so well my first therapist (thank you Ginny wherever you are) really was awesome as I was trying to work through my parental issues. I was 21 and still asking why my parents didn't love me. She just very firmly, each time I asked this question, said: "Because they can't". I must have asked 20 times until the lightbulb in my head went off, she broke through the last of my defenses and I understood that they just were not able to love me. They never got the tools from their own parents. When therapy works, it can be life and soul-saving.
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~Anya~ ![]() Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner |
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#3 | |
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"Flight of Anger I dreamed that my anger propelled me into flight. I was inside a store, and my parents were waiting outside in a car for me. I felt so angry at my parents that I rose up to the ceiling. I cannot recall why I was angry but it was such a powerful force that I flew around the store. Then I looked at myself from afar as the girl, a a teenage me, got into the car with her parents. I thought about how the girl's parents did not really love her, but because they were her parents they had to allow her to get in the car with them. I felt a sense of utter fright and sadness that the unloved girl could have just as easily disappeared and the parents could have driven off without any sense of loss. The girl was too young to know that she was unloved, that her parents didn't know her, and that her family was just an empty social construction." |
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#4 |
Timed Out
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Thank you both for sharing, it all means so much to me in figuring out everything
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#5 | |
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I'm not sure what your family issues are exactly, but YOU going to therapy is going to help to some degree, but that isn't going to change THEM. They are probably not going to change either, so, you have to keep in mind that sometimes keeping a safe distance and limiting your exposure to the negativity is the ONLY way you will find a healthy medium. If your family is making that much of an influence on you, then you really do need to sit back and find out why. They are not living your life, you are. Keeping a distance doesn't mean you don't love or care for them, but that you love and care for yourself more.
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#6 |
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YEAH NJ ~~ ((((( cb ))))) listen to NJ
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#7 |
Timed Out
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It has always been a rough road with my faimly, since as far back as I can remember, but I just keep on staying , I am seriously thinking of just taking the baby and leaving to another town, Not like kidnapping her, I mean legally,but just getting away because I dont want her growing up like them at all.
And I guess now thinking about it,the baby loves me no matter how screwed up I am,So I guess i know at least someone cares |
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#8 | |
Senior Member
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First step is to stop saying how screwed up you are. You are not, and will never be, the only one with issues. It's almost as if you convinced yourself you are this way and there is no turning back. We ALL have issues and crap to deal with in our lives - the trick is HOW you deal with it and what you allow to take over your life. There are a lot of people walking around out there not saying how screwed up they are, when in fact, they are certifiable. If you know you have issues, really work hard to get through them - and change the way you feel about yourself. You really have to change your own outlook if not for yourself, but your child's sake. Getting the child away from a dysfunctional family is one thing, but if you are still carrying the dysfunction - what good is that going to be?
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#9 |
Timed Out
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Your very right thank you
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