Do you *want* people to assume you're a man?

Words · 08-31-2012, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starryeyes

I agree. It's a pride thing. I do not want to be seen with a man, but as a femme lesbian with a butch female partner and I will correct if my partner doesn't. Lol :-D

I don't necessarily like being invisible as a queer either.

Thing is, when it comes to pride, I have so much pride in my butch and the way in which Hy carries Hymself/responds regardless of how people perceive Hym that that kind of outweighs the fact that by referring to Hym using masculine pronouns, they are somehow erasing my identity.

Make sense?

Words

The_Lady_Snow · 08-31-2012, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

I don't necessarily like being invisible as a queer either.

Thing is, when it comes to pride, I have so much pride in my butch and the way in which Hy carries Hymself/responds regardless of how people perceive Hym that that kind of outweighs the fact that by referring to Hym using masculine pronouns, they are somehow erasing my identity.

Make sense?

Words

Thank you!!!

Femme is not defined by who I am fucking, it's my Gender

!

Daywalker · 08-31-2012, 10:11 AM

When I realized that the reaction by a portion our own Community to
folks who 'pass' is to immediately default to male pronouns, I had to
examine myself at that time. Why? Because I was one of those in
the 'portion'. Fast forward a few years and see me crediting all of
you for helping me see why that was not so groovy and now
I use that to educate others.

A reply I gave to someone who continued to default to he/hy for Butches:

"...but why do you call them he/hy to start of with. By doing this,
you're taking away from them not only their visibility as Butch
Women, but you're also removing the beauty of the
fact that they are women who love other women."

Jaques · 08-31-2012, 10:19 AM

As someone who has gone through the mill for a lifetime before transitioning, I spent a lot of my childhood wanting people to assume I was male when I looked very feminine. Now I look male and ive come through most of the "stuff" I can now concentrate more on living the kind of life where others views on my gender arent relevant

NorCalStud · 08-31-2012, 10:44 AM

I am not aware of a desire to be seen as a man. And I definately do not have a desire to be seen as a woman. I dont mind it but Im not burnin up to present an identity. I feel better being called "sir" than "mam". I can truthfully say mam and lady make me cringe like Ive been hit. Im being honest.

I like being seen as butch. I do not like the breasts and yet there is a part of me that wants them there doin what they do which is to say Im this person in this body and Im okay. I do like being seen as who I am for me and for the young butches coming up. Ive said it before..tho.....we are skeletons and spirit...that is how we are walking around. The other stuff is stuff

Stronghealer · 08-31-2012, 10:54 AM

I do not want anyone assuming anything about me-ask.
We are more intricate then our outsides.

BullDog · 08-31-2012, 11:09 AM

I don't like being called ma'am or lady either. My partner calls me Sir. I would prefer she would be the only one that does.

starryeyes · 08-31-2012, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Words

I don't necessarily like being invisible as a queer either.

Thing is, when it comes to pride, I have so much pride in my butch and the way in which Hy carries Hymself/responds regardless of how people perceive Hym that that kind of outweighs the fact that by referring to Hym using masculine pronouns, they are somehow erasing my identity.

Make sense?

Words

I totally get your point, and totally respect it! We are all different here with totally different perspectives, and that is what I love about this place.

Justin and I both totally label ourselves as 100% lesbian women, so the accidental "male" label doesn't sit well with us. We are women, and we are proud, and they will be corrected either by Justin or I, whichever is convenient. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to be "invisible", or having an erased identity. It is a pride thing. I am proud to be a femme lesbian on my female identified butches arm, and you will see me as one because it is who I am. You will see her as a butch because that is what she is and you will see us as a couple because we are fucking beautiful! <3

Hugs.

08-31-2012, 10:11 AM	#3
Daywalker Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Hippy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 3,750 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,499 Thanked 11,916 Times in 2,700 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	When I realized that the reaction by a portion our own Community to folks who 'pass' is to immediately default to male pronouns, I had to examine myself at that time. Why? Because I was one of those in the 'portion'. Fast forward a few years and see me crediting all of you for helping me see why that was not so groovy and now I use that to educate others. A reply I gave to someone who continued to default to he/hy for Butches: "...but why do you call them he/hy to start of with. By doing this, you're taking away from them not only their visibility as Butch Women, but you're also removing the beauty of the fact that they are women who love other women." __________________ www.SirDaywalker.com

08-31-2012, 10:44 AM	#5
NorCalStud Member How Do You Identify?: gaea's Daddy and Fiance Preferred Pronoun?: Ours Relationship Status: Engaged with gaea:-) Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Island Mountain Posts: 440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 1,465 Times in 359 Posts Rep Power: 18918589	honestly I am not aware of a desire to be seen as a man. And I definately do not have a desire to be seen as a woman. I dont mind it but Im not burnin up to present an identity. I feel better being called "sir" than "mam". I can truthfully say mam and lady make me cringe like Ive been hit. Im being honest. I like being seen as butch. I do not like the breasts and yet there is a part of me that wants them there doin what they do which is to say Im this person in this body and Im okay. I do like being seen as who I am for me and for the young butches coming up. Ive said it before..tho.....we are skeletons and spirit...that is how we are walking around. The other stuff is stuff __________________ "Love the questions" ...Rainier Marie Rilke...Letters to a young poet Che

08-31-2012, 10:54 AM	#6
Stronghealer Member How Do You Identify?: transbutch Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: EAST BAY Posts: 297 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 133 Thanked 343 Times in 98 Posts Rep Power: 7011897	Good morning I do not want anyone assuming anything about me-ask. We are more intricate then our outsides.

08-31-2012, 11:09 AM	#7
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I don't like being called ma'am or lady either. My partner calls me Sir. I would prefer she would be the only one that does. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

08-31-2012, 10:19 AM	#4
Jaques Member How Do You Identify?: male/TG Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: England Posts: 220 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 51 Thanked 398 Times in 122 Posts Rep Power: 2583512	As someone who has gone through the mill for a lifetime before transitioning, I spent a lot of my childhood wanting people to assume I was male when I looked very feminine. Now I look male and ive come through most of the "stuff" I can now concentrate more on living the kind of life where others views on my gender arent relevant