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09-03-2012, 02:33 PM
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#1 |
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Timed Out
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Sir Relationship Status:
Married to Lisalysa Join Date: Jul 2012
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Mrs Arcstiker you are so BEAUTIFUL
Mrs Arcstriker and I have had this conversation between ourselves a long time ago...Mrs Arcstriker gets me and I get her. To me that is all that is important. Like some folks here, we id as a butch-femme couple even though its a gray area for us. Yes, I know it offends this community that we pass as a straight couple at times and that tells me a lot our community. I have read the hurtful words and frankly those words have no impact on me. After allthey are just word and people expressing their own insecuritys. You and I are not responsible for that.
Mrs Arcstiker I am so looking forward to our next weekend that we are a lone and together! You rock MRS ARCSTRIKER! "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!" We will march to the drum beat we hear. Smooches Mrs Arcstriker! |
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09-03-2012, 03:19 PM
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#2 | |
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Mentally Delicious
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Quote:
Arc- Let's not label other folks as "expressing insecurities" if they take issue with someone saying something that they feel is homophobic. This is a Queer site. Verbiage like "happy to not be seen as Queer" is going to get called out pretty much every time. Thanks!
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09-03-2012, 03:31 PM
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#3 | |
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Timed Out
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Wonderfull! BTW thats your reading way tooo much into what I wrote to Mrs ARcstrker. It s again projection. Thank you...I will take it upon as advisement. |
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09-03-2012, 04:10 PM
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#4 | |
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Mentally Delicious
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Married to JD.
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Quote:
Arc- The conversations between you and the Mrs. can be held in the privacy of your own home where nobody can say shit to you about anything offensive OR they can be held here where you open yourself up to commentary from the folks on this Queer site. I'm not sure if you are meaning to be rude but saying things like people are projecting "insecurities" and then telling me that I'm "projecting" when moderating you is not only rude but unwise. I know that Mrs. Arc had talked about having a hard time fitting in with Queer spaces and I certainly get that. Jackhammer and I have encountered difficulty sometimes as well. I would ask you to consider that part of fitting in is making a concerted effort to be respectful of the space you're in. You are not only in a Queer space but in a community space. Part of the effort of this community is that folks have worked really hard to learn about each other's identities and way of living. That has only happened when folks have given respect to one another's differences, cut out the judgment, and laid down defenses. Thanks!
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09-03-2012, 04:08 PM
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#5 | |
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Timed Out
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Come on out now!
Quote:
Please, point to the post where you point, in quotations what Arcstriker said, and then I will respond accordingly. |
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09-03-2012, 04:11 PM
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#6 | |
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Mentally Delicious
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Quote:
Ok. Here is what we are NOT going to do. We are NOT going to spend hours going back and forth in a hysterical diatribe. We are NOT going to take this thread down to shitty city the way the other thread did. My suggestion to both of you is that you move along immediately.
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09-03-2012, 04:21 PM
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#7 | |
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Timed Out
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Quote:
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09-03-2012, 04:28 PM
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#8 | |
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Moderator
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Two Tigers 
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During this time, you are not to access this site, our Facebook page, or the personal spaces of the Admins and Mods. Arcstriker and anyone else, I strongly suggest that we all get back to the original topic of this thread. Or the outcome will be the same for you. Thank you, Malcolm (Moderator) |
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09-03-2012, 04:32 PM
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#9 |
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Infamous Member
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I was so happy to see this topic come up. What so many of you have said sounds so familiar. My life with Dixon has many parallels, and he is forever encouraging me to get to know some other partners of FTMs. He's the social one . . .
I'm disappointed this has devolved into drama. GeorgiaMa'am |
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09-03-2012, 06:00 PM
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#10 | |
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Mentally Delicious
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Married to JD.
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Quote:
Quoting myself to clarify something: I don't want to let it stand that I "misquoted" something purposely and that someone was "banned for calling it out". First, I was much less concerned about the "happy to not be seen Queer" part than I was about the idea that people were acting on "insecurities" for calling out homophobia on a Queer site. That felt like intentional disrespect and dragging drama from one thread to another. When I used the statement "verbiage like happy to not be seen as Queer" I was paraphrasing the original discussion that arose from: Originally Posted by Mrs Arcstriker Well aren't you a busy little bee Mr Arcstriker! I keep forgetting you went to a women's college and I find that peculiar. You must have fooled the interviewers! That said, I love that you pass, and I love that I forget that we aren't a straight couple. Yin to my yang... Part of that discussion were folks talking pretty thoughtfully about how it felt to hear a phrase like that on a Queer site. (i.e. that "straight" shouldn't be held up as the gold standard on a Queer site). My paraphrase. My original request was about not labeling folks and dragging drama from one thread to the other. My concern was that we all respect each other and I tried to provide a guideline as to what that would look like. Instead of focusing on the request to leave the labeling and drama out, Mrs. Arc chose to make an issue out of "being misquoted" and then proceeded with rudeness. Rather than move along as I requested, Mrs. Arc then chose to escalate publicly. She was then put on a time-out for drama and rudeness. This was her first time-out since joining the site 5 weeks ago but the Mods have dealt with probably 15 reports concerning various posts she has made since that time. I illustrate this for the sake of demonstrating how much work has gone into keeping the space open to her. After she was timed-out for 30 days, Mrs. Arc then logged into Mr. Arc's account and proceeded to send several messages under his name to us which earned her a permanent ban. Needless to say, we are done with the drama. I wanted to provide this clarification in hopes that folks understand it was not ever my intention to misquote anyone. My intention was to moderate the "insecurities" part of the offending post and move the conversation along. It is unfortunate that the issue was escalated to the point that someone felt they had to break the TOS in order to have the last word. Thanks, Medusa/Admin
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09-03-2012, 06:23 PM
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#11 |
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Senior Member
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hugs
 you are gonna get one in person soon!
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what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here? 
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09-03-2012, 03:49 PM
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#12 | |
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Timed Out
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femme Preferred Pronoun?:
her, she...female ones... Relationship Status:
married to Arcstriker Join Date: Jul 2012
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Quote:
Smooches back at you husband! I know what you meant, and the sentiment was not lost on me... That said... Medusa, I also get where you are coming from. I've been on many sides of this fence and I know too well that gender ID is a slippery slope. It seems that Arc and I have managed to tromp on both sides of this debate enough to mostly piss almost everybody off, and I can speak for both me and my husband when I say this was never the intent. If any of you can read anything from this, do know that it is really hard for us to fit just about anywhere. Back to Arc...Is it Friday yet? I love you dearly, and I cannot wait to vex an entire straight honeymoon resort! |
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Hybrid Mode
