Non-packing butches

Arwen · 09-09-2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Syr

Oh yeah. Forgot to add. Let me know where the Butch test is being held. Thanks.

Syr hits something for me here.

Why all the "does this make me butch/less butch/more butch" questions? Is it that hard to just be who you are? Don't compare yourself to others. Don't measure your......self against them.

Butchness, like femmeness, (while not being real words) isn't a quantifiable thing.

Can we have less talks that pivot on how butch/femme we are/aren't and more about what real community is?

I'm as femme as I need to be. My honey is as masculine as he needs to be. He suits my preferences. Everyone is not meant to be with everyone.

Be who you are and the one(s) meant to be with you will find you.

It really is that simple.

The_Lady_Snow · 09-09-2012, 08:44 PM

I can't think of anyone in this forum that has "heteronormative" sex. We're all having queer, gay, lesbian sex I thought. Well that's unless you identify as straight.

I enjoy penetration and penetrating nothing about it = heteronormative

BstlMyhart · 09-09-2012, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I can't think of anyone in this forum that has "heteronormative" sex. We're all having queer, gay, lesbian sex I thought. Well that's unless you identify as straight.

I enjoy penetration and penetrating nothing about it = heteronormative

It's not about "hetero" sex for me by a long shot. Sometimes a femme wants deeper penetration and I'm happy to oblige. Besides, leaves both hands and mouth free for other things.

BullDog · 09-09-2012, 08:53 PM

Well I do agree not to let things get you down, but no I don't think it is just that simple. That would be like telling women just because so much of our culture tells us that we are inferior to men, just don't let that get you down, it's just that simple. Some are valued more than others. There is nothing simple about that. There are hierarchies in place and they do need to be discussed.

On another note, I am a stone butch lesbian with a cock. There is nothing heteronormative about me or how I have sex.

Martina · 09-09-2012, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I can't think of anyone in this forum that has "heteronormative" sex. We're all having queer, gay, lesbian sex I thought. Well that's unless you identify as straight.

I enjoy penetration and penetrating nothing about it = heteronormative

I don't think of people who pack or strap as heteronormative. It's queer sex if queer folk are doing it. And we get to fuck any way we want and still be queer. As leather folks, or as older ones, we had to fight that fight back in the day. I did anyway.

So, I agree. I don't know why I am the way I am. I like butch and femme cock. And I like pussy. A soft pack does leave me cold.

In another post, I mentioned a friend who introduced someone to butch cock. The someone immediately owned it, just wagged it around, danced, played and strutted. My friend laughed with delight at her sexual partner's newfound joy in the cock. I think that's awesome. I would, in the abstract, be happy for the butch, but I would not enjoy the display. That's the difference.

That doesn't make me more queer than anybody else. Or less cock loving in terms of sex. There are stone femmes who don't have a strong interest in pussy, or any interest in it. They are as queer as anybody else.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't think my preference is political anymore than I think anyone's is. It's just a preference.

macele · 09-09-2012, 11:05 PM

i've never packed, ... that's not good or bad. just is what it is. well ... i have put socks down but that was only a time or two and that's been so many years ago ... i don't know that it can still count lol. so yeah, i have thought about packing. not going to say that i never will, because i just might, if i decide that i want to. now i've never thought about going out, say dancing, packing. that never crossed my mind until this group.

very true. life online and in the real, ... sorta beg to differ at times. no one should tell another person what makes them or breaks them. i don't give a care what folks say online (or in person) about their butchiness. and i don't care what they say about mine. but you know, i can't even find my butchiness at times! lol

maybe the packing isn't so much about the significant other as it is about the packer. we all need different things to turn us on. i don't know enough about the experience to share. just saying gender could be no where in the picture. and then again, it could be. sometimes we have to experience things to really know what's happening. i learn everyday. thanks for that. i watched a shawn colvin video. she had on a dress and pants, ... at the same time. my first thought is, what the hell! but then i step back and say, i might try that! lol now that's what a butch would do.

rustedrims · 09-10-2012, 09:33 AM

Ok here it goes.

As far as me packing i never have.I set things down and forget where i put them.I have read the horror stories of droping the "package" on the floor in public restrooms.Do you pick it up or leave it and say "Thats not mine" ! There is just to many things that can go wrong in the public that might catch you with your pants down so to speak.Like a trip to the emergency room.Hanging around home sure if my girl wants me to but probly never in public.Not a believer in baggy Levis.If you can see a "buldge" in my jeans and these things called "boobies",,,think i might be asking for it from the public.

The Ex'es,
I never strapped on for them because i was very good at satisfying them with just my self.Actually they didnt allow me to "go inside".That made me kinda crazy not being able to do that because i sure wanted to.Every now and then i would surprise them and slide in there.{no pun intended}.I would get my hair pulled hit on the back or my ears grabbed.That just wasnt a good idea to do that.To me it was worth it.My last Ex liked me going inside of her.She was wild and i loved every minute of it.I would ask her"One towel or 2?"OOPS another thread.I used vibrators and a dildo on her and it was great for us both.Then she wanted to use them on me and the relationship ended shortly after letting her know i wasnt going to lay on my back.I am a giver not a taker.

Then i find the Dash Site and my world opened up.I sat back and said WoW!But then i see the femmes in there like the "toys" that resemble the bio male cock/dick.Automatically i think they arent really gay or lesbian for that matter.I always thought that if they liked that kind of stuff for sexual pleasure they were using a gay/lesbian woman for couriousity and will eventually go back to the bio male.Over the years of living and reading about this lifestyle i love that isnt the case at all.I am very clear on that now.I am willing to do what my femme asks or declines.For me it is all about the Lady and not me.I love being a Butch Woman and identifies as she.

Parker · 09-09-2012, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen

Syr hits something for me here.

Why all the "does this make me butch/less butch/more butch" questions? Is it that hard to just be who you are? Don't compare yourself to others. Don't measure your......self against them.

Butchness, like femmeness, (while not being real words) isn't a quantifiable thing.

Can we have less talks that pivot on how butch/femme we are/aren't and more about what real community is?

I'm as femme as I need to be. My honey is as masculine as he needs to be. He suits my preferences. Everyone is not meant to be with everyone.

Be who you are and the one(s) meant to be with you will find you.

It really is that simple.

Sometimes we are hit with it when we are younger - like Rockinonahigh, I too was with someone who felt I should pack to be butch and I went through a period of packing a Mr. Softie and hard-packing because that's what I thought I was supposed to do - that's what I was being told that butch was - that a butch is supposed to pack and feel like their cock is a part of themselves. When I didnt feel that, I questioned my "butchness."

Sometimes we are hit with it on-line as well - when I see person after person after person talking about how butches are so connected to their cocks, etc, I end up feeling like an outsider looking in on a community to which I dont belong.

When I see people talking about the above - referencing all butches, etc. I think about the younger lesbians and butches (or those who might be older but just figuring things out) who might be lurking about, reading, wondering who they are and where they fit in.

That's why I post in threads like this - not to one-up anyone or put anyone down for who they are and what they do, or even to talk about who's more butch than who; but to show others that there isnt just ONE kind of butch out there - we dont all need to be male ID'd, pack, or bind - and no matter which kind of butch we are, we are all butch and none of us should ever be made to feel less than or like an outsider in our own community.

09-09-2012, 08:44 PM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Thinking I can't think of anyone in this forum that has "heteronormative" sex. We're all having queer, gay, lesbian sex I thought. Well that's unless you identify as straight. I enjoy penetration and penetrating nothing about it = heteronormative __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

09-09-2012, 08:53 PM	#4
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,665 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Well I do agree not to let things get you down, but no I don't think it is just that simple. That would be like telling women just because so much of our culture tells us that we are inferior to men, just don't let that get you down, it's just that simple. Some are valued more than others. There is nothing simple about that. There are hierarchies in place and they do need to be discussed. On another note, I am a stone butch lesbian with a cock. There is nothing heteronormative about me or how I have sex. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

09-10-2012, 09:33 AM	#7
rustedrims Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ohio close to Lake Erie and ice-cream places Posts: 444 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,123 Thanked 2,553 Times in 367 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Gotta get in here,, Ok here it goes. As far as me packing i never have.I set things down and forget where i put them.I have read the horror stories of droping the "package" on the floor in public restrooms.Do you pick it up or leave it and say "Thats not mine" ! There is just to many things that can go wrong in the public that might catch you with your pants down so to speak.Like a trip to the emergency room.Hanging around home sure if my girl wants me to but probly never in public.Not a believer in baggy Levis.If you can see a "buldge" in my jeans and these things called "boobies",,,think i might be asking for it from the public. The Ex'es, I never strapped on for them because i was very good at satisfying them with just my self.Actually they didnt allow me to "go inside".That made me kinda crazy not being able to do that because i sure wanted to.Every now and then i would surprise them and slide in there.{no pun intended}.I would get my hair pulled hit on the back or my ears grabbed.That just wasnt a good idea to do that.To me it was worth it.My last Ex liked me going inside of her.She was wild and i loved every minute of it.I would ask her"One towel or 2?"OOPS another thread.I used vibrators and a dildo on her and it was great for us both.Then she wanted to use them on me and the relationship ended shortly after letting her know i wasnt going to lay on my back.I am a giver not a taker. Then i find the Dash Site and my world opened up.I sat back and said WoW!But then i see the femmes in there like the "toys" that resemble the bio male cock/dick.Automatically i think they arent really gay or lesbian for that matter.I always thought that if they liked that kind of stuff for sexual pleasure they were using a gay/lesbian woman for couriousity and will eventually go back to the bio male.Over the years of living and reading about this lifestyle i love that isnt the case at all.I am very clear on that now.I am willing to do what my femme asks or declines.For me it is all about the Lady and not me.I love being a Butch Woman and identifies as she. __________________ I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn.

09-09-2012, 11:05 PM	#6
macele Member How Do You Identify?: a bold-assed maximus Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: mississippi Posts: 1,066 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,178 Thanked 3,231 Times in 847 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	i've never packed, ... that's not good or bad. just is what it is. well ... i have put socks down but that was only a time or two and that's been so many years ago ... i don't know that it can still count lol. so yeah, i have thought about packing. not going to say that i never will, because i just might, if i decide that i want to. now i've never thought about going out, say dancing, packing. that never crossed my mind until this group. very true. life online and in the real, ... sorta beg to differ at times. no one should tell another person what makes them or breaks them. i don't give a care what folks say online (or in person) about their butchiness. and i don't care what they say about mine. but you know, i can't even find my butchiness at times! lol maybe the packing isn't so much about the significant other as it is about the packer. we all need different things to turn us on. i don't know enough about the experience to share. just saying gender could be no where in the picture. and then again, it could be. sometimes we have to experience things to really know what's happening. i learn everyday. thanks for that. i watched a shawn colvin video. she had on a dress and pants, ... at the same time. my first thought is, what the hell! but then i step back and say, i might try that! lol now that's what a butch would do.