A newly dating/sex/corsets/butch appreciatin question

Martina · 09-13-2012, 02:49 PM

I second or third the go for its

starryeyes · 09-13-2012, 02:56 PM

Work it girl!

Novelafemme · 09-13-2012, 03:07 PM

Oooooo...sexy dress-up is fabulous fun!

Welcome to the site and have fun!

The re-kindling of one's sex life is a beautiful thing.

clay · 09-13-2012, 03:08 PM

Hi Dance and welcome to the Planet!!!!
Rock that butch's world. You are a beautiful spirt and heart.....GO FOR IT!!!!!

Leigh · 09-13-2012, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dance-with-me

Hi, first post here. I am a 53yo femme, 5 months single after 11 year long and 8+ year sexless marriage (to a butch). I am overall doing GREAT, loving life again, loving myself again.

For the past two months I've been casually dating a total sweetheart butch who treats me like a queen, pampers me to no end, and in the past few weeks since we started being sexual (me for the first time in EIGHT YEARS), has totally rocked my world in bed.

I want to really show my appreciation, but I'm just not sure how.

She made a couple of little comments about liking lingerie, and I was thinking about showing up with a corset (custom made silk which I haven't worn in over 12 years) and stockings under my dress - she lives 100 miles away and I'm visiting for the weekend. FYI I don't actually have anything else that I'd consider sexy lingerie and I live in a rural area where there just isn't anyplace closeby where I could buy something classy and sexy in my size (16/18).

So here's my concern and question. I don't know for sure if she even likes corsets - are they pretty universally drool-producing, or is that an iffy choice? I'm also knocking up against some confidence issues - the last time I wore it I was maybe 41, and now I'm 53, and I'm a curvy (overweight) girl who has not totally escaped the perils of years and gravity, and at this point I'm generally a "low" femme and grandmother, not someone you'd immediately imagine in a corset.

So do I take the risk that it might produce a very awkward (and humiliating for me) moment? Or find a way to figure out if she likes corsets first?

Any other suggestions as to what sorts of things I could do as a treat and thank-you that would more likely be appreciated? I just don't know her well enough yet to know what she likes for sure, but I'd sure like to give back some of how she's made me feel!

Thanks for any advice you can give.

I definitely also vote to go for it

Just because your a curvy older woman certainly doesn't mean that you shouldn't live life and enjoy it to its fullest. Absolutely go for wearing a corset; not only are they extremely SEXY but also I have no doubt in my mind that your butch will go totally nuts for it (she'd be nuts not to hehe). I'm sure whatever you do for her will be appreciated and she will be happy because she cares for you ~ that's what matters the most !!!!!!!!

have fun and enjoy it

SleepyButch · 09-13-2012, 03:20 PM

If someone were doing that for me.. I'd appreciate the hell out of it.

That being said.. if you are unsure, you could always put it on, take a picture of a very small part of it and send a message to your Butch saying something like is this what you had in mind? Nothing wrong with some good teasing.

That's just a thought anyway. If you wanted to totally surprise her... this scenario would not work.

I say go for it. If she appreciates you without it, she will also appreciate you with it.

girl_dee · 09-13-2012, 03:27 PM

my thoughts are anything that you feel sexy and confident in will exude that and you will be a knock out on all levels!

macele · 09-13-2012, 03:49 PM

i don't think it's universal. if it makes you uncomfortable, ask her what she likes. asking questions is a good thing, both ways.

Tommi · 09-13-2012, 03:49 PM

Dance-with-me, a romantic room, candles (lottsa battery operated tea lights are nice too) and you in whatever would be wonderful, because, you will have that self-confidence that you are worth every second of the mystique.

"Sexy is as sexy does" What makes a femme sexy, to me, is the way she carries herself. It's easy to spot and it is pretty awesome from across the room.

I have been with , Hmm, Anorexic to ample, youngish and mature (not all at the same time your honor . all of the above, in and out of corsets, garter belts, ....thigh high lacey nylons ~ All are a killer for me....and it is in our heads where the passion and acceptance live.

Yes. I agree , just do it if it feels good. If it doesn't , you can chalk it up to , getting out of the closet.

pinkgeek · 09-13-2012, 05:03 PM

Do it! Let me know if you need ideas on where to shop (online). I have a small (ok fine not small) collection of corsets that ranges from "jesus god why did I spend that much" to "really? it's only $50? I'll take one in every color". Nothing puts everything in all the right places quite like a corset.

Dude · 09-13-2012, 06:04 PM

welcome

If the corset feels good , do it.
If your too cinched up and can barely breathe , dont.

I think these are sexy

http://www.barenecessities.com/seven...9282XB&search=
24 bucks

with a hint of black lace underneath

less is more
that's my vote

Ginger · 09-13-2012, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

If she appreciates you without it, she will also appreciate you with it.

Very good point.

DMW · 09-13-2012, 07:19 PM

A little wary to report my opinion here being a dude and all...
I think being honest and open about who you are and what you want is so important. If you are comfortable in the corset and enjoy it...then enjoy it.
It your partner has an issue with it...i'd be really surprized if they did.
But, if so, then you learn to be with someone who appreciates and likes what you like. I hope you do what you want and the butch likes it. Smile

Canela · 09-13-2012, 07:53 PM

I love this thread!

Dance,

You're already sexy girl, contemplating a corset! Whew! Can I just say, hot!

I'm almost 50, plus size and have lingerie, sexy/lace bra and panty sets and even a corset that I like to wear...for play or just for me, under my clothes. Why not? Who says you gotta save your sexy stuff for your partner...I wear my stuff when I feel sexy and undercover too...lol...why not? Yep, under my dresses, clothes, etc...sometimes, a little peep of knee covered in black fishnet in boots and a dress (weather permitting) it's cool/fun when someone notices all of a sudden there's a double take and a look that says wha?...lol...but what it does to your self confidence! lol...get creative!

Be you're sexy self all the time, Dance...and enjoy being you. I think you're awesome and gutsy and sexy! Go girl!

09-13-2012, 02:56 PM	#2
starryeyes Senior Member How Do You Identify?: a round peg in a square hole Preferred Pronoun?: Guess... Relationship Status: Seat taken Join Date: May 2011 Location: Rocky Mountain High Posts: 2,491 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,199 Thanked 10,050 Times in 2,076 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Work it girl! __________________ "It's ok to make mistakes. It's ok to fall down. Get up! Look sickening....and make them eat it!" - Latrice Royale Starry

09-13-2012, 03:08 PM	#4
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,666 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Hi Dance and welcome to the Planet!!!! Rock that butch's world. You are a beautiful spirt and heart.....GO FOR IT!!!!! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

09-13-2012, 03:20 PM	#6
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,248 Times in 2,754 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	If someone were doing that for me.. I'd appreciate the hell out of it. That being said.. if you are unsure, you could always put it on, take a picture of a very small part of it and send a message to your Butch saying something like is this what you had in mind? Nothing wrong with some good teasing. That's just a thought anyway. If you wanted to totally surprise her... this scenario would not work. I say go for it. If she appreciates you without it, she will also appreciate you with it. __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

09-13-2012, 03:49 PM	#9
Tommi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Usually "Hello" Relationship Status: Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira ) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach. Posts: 8,151 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,621 Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,970 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Adventure Club Dance-with-me, a romantic room, candles (lottsa battery operated tea lights are nice too) and you in whatever would be wonderful, because, you will have that self-confidence that you are worth every second of the mystique. "Sexy is as sexy does" What makes a femme sexy, to me, is the way she carries herself. It's easy to spot and it is pretty awesome from across the room. I have been with , Hmm, Anorexic to ample, youngish and mature (not all at the same time your honor . all of the above, in and out of corsets, garter belts, ....thigh high lacey nylons ~ All are a killer for me....and it is in our heads where the passion and acceptance live. Yes. I agree , just do it if it feels good. If it doesn't , you can chalk it up to , getting out of the closet.

09-13-2012, 05:03 PM	#10
pinkgeek Member How Do You Identify?: that grrl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, grrl, piranha, monkey Relationship Status: captured.... Join Date: May 2010 Location: Australia Posts: 377 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,054 Thanked 1,456 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 13998707	Do it! Let me know if you need ideas on where to shop (online). I have a small (ok fine not small) collection of corsets that ranges from "jesus god why did I spend that much" to "really? it's only $50? I'll take one in every color". Nothing puts everything in all the right places quite like a corset. __________________ ------------------------------------ ~pink "I‘m heir to madness. Vessel of perversion. Your nightmare should you cross me." ((Want to read about my life in Hawaii and my ongoing war against the roosters and my pony size dog and my wedding?)) http://www.alohafemme.wordpress.com/

09-13-2012, 02:49 PM	#1
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,284 Times in 4,167 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I second or third the go for its

09-13-2012, 03:07 PM	#3
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	Oooooo...sexy dress-up is fabulous fun! Welcome to the site and have fun! The re-kindling of one's sex life is a beautiful thing.

09-13-2012, 03:27 PM	#7
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	my thoughts are anything that you feel sexy and confident in will exude that and you will be a knock out on all levels!

09-13-2012, 03:49 PM	#8
macele Member How Do You Identify?: a bold-assed maximus Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: mississippi Posts: 1,066 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,178 Thanked 3,230 Times in 847 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	i don't think it's universal. if it makes you uncomfortable, ask her what she likes. asking questions is a good thing, both ways.

09-13-2012, 06:04 PM	#11
Dude Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Perusing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: exit 5 with an exit 21 goal Posts: 1,725 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,351 Thanked 10,605 Times in 1,477 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	welcome If the corset feels good , do it. If your too cinched up and can barely breathe , dont. I think these are sexy http://www.barenecessities.com/seven...9282XB&search= 24 bucks with a hint of black lace underneath less is more that's my vote

09-13-2012, 07:19 PM	#13
DMW Member How Do You Identify?: FTM/Male (Will 14) Relationship Status: Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie! Join Date: May 2012 Location: @ Posts: 784 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,256 Thanked 1,858 Times in 614 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	A little wary to report my opinion here being a dude and all... I think being honest and open about who you are and what you want is so important. If you are comfortable in the corset and enjoy it...then enjoy it. It your partner has an issue with it...i'd be really surprized if they did. But, if so, then you learn to be with someone who appreciates and likes what you like. I hope you do what you want and the butch likes it. Smile

09-13-2012, 07:53 PM	#14
Canela Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babe, she, her, ella Relationship Status: Well loved… Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Texas Posts: 2,375 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,644 Thanked 6,503 Times in 1,694 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I love this thread! Dance, You're already sexy girl, contemplating a corset! Whew! Can I just say, hot! I'm almost 50, plus size and have lingerie, sexy/lace bra and panty sets and even a corset that I like to wear...for play or just for me, under my clothes. Why not? Who says you gotta save your sexy stuff for your partner...I wear my stuff when I feel sexy and undercover too...lol...why not? Yep, under my dresses, clothes, etc...sometimes, a little peep of knee covered in black fishnet in boots and a dress (weather permitting) it's cool/fun when someone notices all of a sudden there's a double take and a look that says wha?...lol...but what it does to your self confidence! lol...get creative! Be you're sexy self all the time, Dance...and enjoy being you. I think you're awesome and gutsy and sexy! Go girl! __________________ . . . . . Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you ~Nathaniel Hawthorne