The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

Dance-with-me · 09-13-2012, 07:10 PM

Hello! New to BFP, 53 year old Femme from southern Delaware - hello! I was actually directed to BFP because of the "fine wine" forum - I asked "where are the older butches and femmes?!?" on a facebook page and was lucky enough to be directed here!

Quote:

Originally Posted by OS Butch

Funny thing...or maybe odd. I join a dating site, cupid something or other. Just like here, you can see who visits your profile. So since I have so much time this morning I went see if there was any activity. I did have a visitor...A straight single gal

Ok, so maybe I still am not ready to join the dating pool!

LOL well, if you haven't done so already, please make sure that the word "butch" is in your profile because it's hard as anything to find butches there, but I did discover a keyword search that you can use, and have been finding at least some profiles of interest (including the sweet butch I'm currently dating) but still, most of the profiles that come up are saying "No butches" or "I'm looking for a butch." You'd likely have better luck with Femme as a keyword! And if you happen across one in Delaware...

OS Butch · 09-13-2012, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dance-with-me

Hello! New to BFP, 53 year old Femme from southern Delaware - hello! I was actually directed to BFP because of the "fine wine" forum - I asked "where are the older butches and femmes?!?" on a facebook page and was lucky enough to be directed here!

LOL well, if you haven't done so already, please make sure that the word "butch" is in your profile because it's hard as anything to find butches there, but I did discover a keyword search that you can use, and have been finding at least some profiles of interest (including the sweet butch I'm currently dating) but still, most of the profiles that come up are saying "No butches" or "I'm looking for a butch." You'd likely have better luck with Femme as a keyword! And if you happen across one in Delaware...

Welcome to the Planet Dance-with-me.

I use the same name there as I do here, so yes, it says Butch all over....Funny thing is the quivers they send me are mostly Butches too....Hello?! My high matches are with the Butchly sort. And I do run into many that say no Butches.

Dance-with-me · 09-13-2012, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OS Butch

Welcome to the Planet Dance-with-me.

I use the same name there as I do here, so yes, it says Butch all over....Funny thing is the quivers they send me are mostly Butches too....Hello?! My high matches are with the Butchly sort. And I do run into many that say no Butches.

Found you - and you were already added to my favorites list.

Just hadn't contacted because even though the Butch I'm seeing and I are clear that we're not currently exclusive or serious, with the chaos in my life right now I really can only handle dating one person at a time. But... yeah. You just didn't notice someone else checking you out -- or, the story of a femme's life, you thought I was a straight girl.

morningstar55 · 09-13-2012, 07:45 PM

Just cut my finger, no bandaids having some other aches a pains on top of it.... think im going to bed... been feeling a bit weepy , this evening off n on.... think im falling apart ah well.... good nite
Pk

OS Butch · 09-13-2012, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dance-with-me

Found you - and you were already added to my favorites list.

Just hadn't contacted because even though the Butch I'm seeing and I are clear that we're not currently exclusive or serious, with the chaos in my life right now I really can only handle dating one person at a time. But... yeah. You just didn't notice someone else checking you out -- or, the story of a femme's life, you thought I was a straight girl.

Really? LOL! Yanno, I have messaged several women and never get a response, probably because of my Butch presence. It is discouraging as it is very hard to send a note to a complete stranger and then not get a response. Not even a I don't date Butch Women.Now I am gonna have to go see who has visited my profile! Favorites? What is that?!

yotlyolqualli · 09-13-2012, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OS Butch

Really? LOL! Yanno, I have messaged several women and never get a response, probably because of my Butch presence. It is discouraging as it is very hard to send a note to a complete stranger and then not get a response. Not even a I don't date Butch Women.Now I am gonna have to go see who has visited my profile! Favorites? What is that?!

Try finding a Butch woman, willing or interested in dating a femme who also happens to be Mennonite and dresses like one. lol That's discouraging and it's even worse when people say, "maybe you should rethink "dressing" the part". To me, that's like saying I should change who I am, my values, traditions, culture and beliefs, JUST to find a partner.

I'm me and I won't change for anyone. Even if it means spending the rest of my life alone. Wearing plain clothes isn't a fashion statement or a preference... it's a way of life, a code of conduct, a statement of faith. Denying it would be like denying a very integral part of who I am.

Never having a once in a lifetime love, is far better than living a lie and never truly loving myself because of it.

morningstar55 · 09-14-2012, 05:13 AM

Morning loft dwellers and peekers

Its gona b a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
headng to west Memphis this morning.

yotly.... im at a wow, may I ask.. forgive me if im asking a crazy question... how does the mennonite culture feel of queer women??

yotlyolqualli · 09-14-2012, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55

Morning loft dwellers and peekers

Its gona b a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
headng to west Memphis this morning.

yotly.... im at a wow, may I ask.. forgive me if im asking a crazy question... how does the mennonite culture feel of queer women??

They don't particularly welcome me with open arms LOL!

Let me say though, that there ARE Mennonites who either silently and some verbally, include and even move to openly include GLBTQ members of the community. I can say, pretty assuredly though, that those who do, are more progressive in their thinking, but also in their style of dress and their practice of the faith.

If you saw me on the street, you would notice me, because I dress very conservatively... similar to Amish style clothing. However, if you saw me in a group of conservative Mennonites or Amish, you would not be able to tell me apart from them. But neither by myself, nor with a group of Mennonites, would you ever be able to tell that I am gay. I can't/don't wear jewelry of any kind, so... identifying myself with rainbow jewelry is out. I only have one dress that's a printed cotton, and it's very light pastel colors on a white background. So, wearing rainbow colors is out.

Wearing plain clothing is rather a contradiction. We are to set ourselves apart from the rest of the world... we are called to be a "pecular" people, not conforming... so we do not, I do not, wear what other "english" people wear. I want to be set apart from them, as I feel I am called to be. However, having said that.. part of dressing plain, without alot of bells and whistles, not only covers the whole modesty issue, it also covers the "not drawing special attention to yourself through your appearance" issue. While we are to set ourselves apart from the world, we are not suppose to be vain enough, to want to draw attention to our personal appearance, thus avoiding vanity and pride.

Wearing jewelry, makeup, would be conforming, wearing loud prints and colors would be drawing attention LOL

So....

As far as community... even though I am not welcomed into membership at any Mennonite church in my area (there's about 20 in a 20 miles radius) doesn't make me any less Mennonite. It's how I was raised, how I believe and how I live my life. Old fashioned doesn't even begin to describe it.

But as for dressing like I do.... and I do do it for the afore mentioned reasons... there's also something else. Something inside of me... and it is also taught, but perhaps not with the "kinky" twist that I perceive LOL...

My body is to be covered modestly.. that is why I wear the dress, the caped apron (full body apron) and the tights... all of that. But also... I like the entire idea of saving my body, not allowing anyone who is not my spouse, to see my body, to see the sexual, the sensual.. that is for my spouse and my spouse alone to see. The same with my "uncovered" head... only my spouse should see that.. and I'll go further and say only my spouse should see my "crowning glory" (Biblical reference) which is my hair... down.

As an aside.... most Amish women, barring medical purposes, have never ever had their hair cut, trimmed or in any way shortened. By the time they get to their 20's, their hair can reach their feet! It was the apostle Paul that said that a woman's hair was given to her for a "crowning glory". But that's a whole other ball of wax.

Take care MS and thanks for the interest!

OS Butch · 09-14-2012, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yotlyolqualli

Try finding a Butch woman, willing or interested in dating a femme who also happens to be Mennonite and dresses like one. lol That's discouraging and it's even worse when people say, "maybe you should rethink "dressing" the part". To me, that's like saying I should change who I am, my values, traditions, culture and beliefs, JUST to find a partner.

I'm me and I won't change for anyone. Even if it means spending the rest of my life alone. Wearing plain clothes isn't a fashion statement or a preference... it's a way of life, a code of conduct, a statement of faith. Denying it would be like denying a very integral part of who I am.

Never having a once in a lifetime love, is far better than living a lie and never truly loving myself because of it.

I can see that would be hard. I can't imagine being a Butch Mennonite! All that aside, I do believe that it is what is inside a Femme that makes her attractive, not the outer shell/ clothing.

Like my Old School self, I have my own quirks that seem out dated to many, but it is me and that is something I won't change. Some folks can do things like casual sex, heck I will not even answer sex related kinds of questions on the on line dating sites, too personal. I want to get to know someone BEFORE I get to know them... in that biblical sense

See, now that is attractive, keeping your values because they are you

morningstar55 · 09-15-2012, 05:05 AM

]Morning loft dwellers and peekers
its a awsome cool crispy morning here in the TN country side no fumes, noise trucks .. maybe i can get in a painting mood .

Ty Yotly for the interesting post

Now ha 1 more ?
How in the world do u pronounce your name and what does it mean?

OS Butch · 09-15-2012, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morningstar55

]Morning loft dwellers and peekers
its a awsome cool crispy morning here in the TN country side no fumes, noise trucks .. maybe i can get in a painting mood .

Ty Yotly for the interesting post

Now ha 1 more ?
How in the world do u pronounce your name and what does it mean?

Good morning to you, morningstar. Have a great weekend and be safe out there on the road!

Btw, I was gonna ask that same question to yotlyolqualli! Now we have to wait for the answer

09-13-2012, 07:45 PM	#4
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Just cut my finger, no bandaids having some other aches a pains on top of it.... think im going to bed... been feeling a bit weepy , this evening off n on.... think im falling apart ah well.... good nite Pk __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

09-14-2012, 05:13 AM	#7
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Morning loft dwellers and peekers Its gona b a beautiful day in the neighborhood. headng to west Memphis this morning. yotly.... im at a wow, may I ask.. forgive me if im asking a crazy question... how does the mennonite culture feel of queer women?? __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

09-15-2012, 05:05 AM	#10
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	]Morning loft dwellers and peekers its a awsome cool crispy morning here in the TN country side no fumes, noise trucks .. maybe i can get in a painting mood . Ty Yotly for the interesting post Now ha 1 more ? How in the world do u pronounce your name and what does it mean? __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.