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#1 |
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Even at my age I tend to be optimistic and romantic. I still have trouble identifying the players until I get hurt. Then I look back and say to myself, duh, should have known!
So then on top of being hurt I feel really stupid. |
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#2 |
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After reading the posts here I have to agree that trust can be an issue. However, any issues that I had in past relationships I leave in the past. The issue belonged to that person in my mind.
Players, I have not thought about players in a long time and I doubt that I could spot one easily. I may have already met players and did not know it. |
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#3 |
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Because financial exploitation was a feature of all my major relationships preceding this one, i get really freaked out when there is any kind of job-related problems.
When Mr. Jenny and I first got together I would freak out any time she hit her snooze button in the morning because I just knew she was going to be late and get fired She found this very offensive as she has now been at the same job for 31 years and I should have been able to see that as proof that she knows how to not get fired She's right. It was all my issue
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#4 | |
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I am a very tightly wound person, and have had to learn the hard way that self-care is not an indulgence, it is actually necessary for me to be able to function productively in any context. I started putting hard limits around certain days of the week and certain hours of the day about twelve years ago. If I do not have those periodic discharge/recharge periods between each role performance (director, student, daughter/sister/aunt, partner), I will have regrets for poorly-considered choices, unrecognized opportunities, forgotten talking points, math errors, typos, distractions, talking out of my ass, etc. My current partner is really easy to be around, though. Sometimes we are on the couch together and I am reading or writing and she is watching HGTV and I actually forget she is in the room. She's totally self-actualized and can enjoy my proximity without demanding any attention at all But it helps that she works Sundays and I don't, and I work occasional evenings and she doesn't. And that her workday starts four hours before mine does, even when I don't work late.
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#5 |
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Abandonment is the main one, being told they will be there and end up leaving.
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#6 |
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Ugh. Where to begin. I'm content being single and am enjoying my life for the first time in I don't know how long. I'm happy. I don't feel like I have to answer to anyone. Yet...I miss companionship and intimacy.
I'm so afraid that I'm going to make the same mistakes I did before - IE - Settling for someone who is absolutely no good for me. Getting with someone because maybe I'm desperate on some level, or...I'm not getting any younger, and the clock is ticking. My last relationship really did a number on me - being with someone who was controlling, who I felt like I couldn't talk to or completely couldn't be myself around because I was going to be judged. It was just a bad, bad situation all around. Yet loyal me hung in, hoping it would somehow all get better. So...I suppose I'm torn between my life is fine as is and I'moved enjoying it. I don't want to ruin my happiness somehow by putting someone else in the mix. On the other hand, I don't know if I want to be perpetually single, either. I think I'm a genuinely decent human being who has a lot to offer someone. Sorry if I'm rambling here, but these are things I think about quite often. Sue
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There are three things you can't recover in life: The moment after it's missed, the word after it's said, and the time after it's wasted. |
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#7 | |
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There is some twisted sort of comfort in molding future anguish because the known pain is easier than the unknown. I'm not picking on you, JDeere. I saw this post and found myself nodding. Abandonment is not so much an issue of mine as judgment and judging behaviors and control issues but I think it all ties together. We're all scarred in some way. Last edited by Gemme; 07-19-2016 at 09:00 AM. |
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#8 | |
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#9 |
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After being alone for 2 years, I am worried how someone is going to be around my animals and how they will respond when I tell them I need my own space.
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#10 |
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trust issues
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I don't want to be perfect because if I was then I will loose the ability to learn. |
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dating, hurt, insecurity, relationships, scars |
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