Returning Home - how to reconnect

[Martina]

Canadians yell? They seem so soft spoken. I guess that says something about yanks then.

[firegal]

Well hopefully the transition will be painless!

I am in the Pacific northwest... just a few hours south of vancover.

I work in a large city and live 40 mins south ....The glass half full will help most all transitions go as smooth as possible.

Wishing you well and welcome back to the [extended] pacific northwest.

[tazz]

Originally Posted by firegal

Well hopefully the transition will be painless!

I am in the Pacific northwest... just a few hours south of vancover.

I work in a large city and live 40 mins south ....The glass half full will help most all transitions go as smooth as possible.

Wishing you well and welcome back to the [extended] pacific northwest.

***agreed. i lived in Bellingham, Washington last year for a little while... 1/2 hour from the border of Canada.

i have since moved back to Cali (where i grew up), but i Don't find it home. i much prefer the North.

Congrats on your big change!

[genghisfawn]

Good luck to you!

I lived in Saskatchewan all of my life before moving to the UK for a few years in my early 20s. I've been back just over two years and my re-entry was hard, despite coming back to a place I thought I knew well.

Even walking through downtown Saskatoon blew my mind as I stood in front of a new, purpose-built office suite for a mining conglomerate, asking my best friend, "What was here before?" Ugly new boxes representing houses have sprung up all over. Road construction still prevails (that much never changes.)

I have a tape of when I returned home, and my mother made me read the first few pages of Anne of Green Gables in my "new accent". Living in North Yorkshire had required some speech adjustments so I could be properly understood (vowels, idioms, aspirations, etc.), and it only took until I went back for Christmas, 6 months later, for me to greet people with a typical prairie, "Hey, how're you doin'?" and have them reel back, saying, "You sound so CANADIAN. What HAPPENED?"

I listened to that tape for the first time 3 months ago. I sound... odd. I don't know who that even sounds like, even though it's my voice. I remembered all of the adjustments I'd made coming back, how shy I was to see friends I hadn't seen in years, how for a few weeks (before I could get a job) I still had more unchanged pounds in my wallet than my scanty dollars (I changed them when I had to for friend-reunion drinks, cigarettes and bus fare.) I remembered being afraid to open my mouth in public, how friendly customer service people scared me (you'll get used to being asked if you need anything again, I promise!) and how f*cking disgusting Canadian cigarettes tasted compared to my lovely Sterling menthols.

You'll adjust. Once you're just getting thoroughly sick of telling the 1,000th person, "London is great to visit, but it's hell on earth to live there," you'll be pausing in doorways to quickly yank your scarf away from your mouth to light a cigarette before the howling snow whisks your flame (and cigarette, and sanity,) away like you never left.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Martina

Canadians yell? They seem so soft spoken. I guess that says something about yanks then.

heh no it's just a stereotype of yanks in europe. Loud american (talking loudly about "personal things" in public space and forcing everyone to listen to their "business").

[Elishat]

I've lived in Japan for the last 5 years and am planning on moving back to the states next year. Reverse Culture Shock is going to hit me very hard too, I know it. I'm used to, and quite like, Japanese culture now, which is very different then the US, plus I am completely bilingual. So I know adjusting will be miserable.

A couple of things, first, I focus on my hobbies. Before I change countries (I have moved back and forth before) I look for a horse barn in my new area. I am an avid horse rider. One of the first things I do after moving is start riding again. First of all it gives me something to look forward to, second, instant friends. People with things in common always have something to talk about. This goes for any hobbies/sports. Like knitting/crochet? find a knitting circle. Like soccer? find an adult soccer team.

Second focus on the positives about going home. Seeing my family, food that I can't find in rural northern Japan, and dating, are the things I am looking forward to. I am going to miss Japan something fierce but I also have many things I am looking forward too.

Lastly realize that, no matter what, you are going to miss the home you leave behind. Keep in touch with your friends there as much as you can, they will help keep you grounded too!

Good luck with the move!!

[Soon]

Even though I'm in Ontario, I'm glad you're going to be back on Canadian soil! I'd love to have a meet up with some awesome like-minded folks like yourself out there if possible!

I don't have much advice, as I'm IN my hometown, and still have a difficult time finding making connections and friends (many have moved away or just gone their own ways and there is zero b/f community), but I did want to wish you the best.

After reading some of your other posts, I think this is going to be a great decision and the start of a fantastic new stage in your life. You have a lot going for you, and I'm sure many opportunities and friends will be found!

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Elishat

I've lived in Japan for the last 5 years and am planning on moving back to the states next year. Reverse Culture Shock is going to hit me very hard too, I know it. I'm used to, and quite like, Japanese culture now, which is very different then the US, plus I am completely bilingual. So I know adjusting will be miserable.

A couple of things, first, I focus on my hobbies. Before I change countries (I have moved back and forth before) I look for a horse barn in my new area. I am an avid horse rider. One of the first things I do after moving is start riding again. First of all it gives me something to look forward to, second, instant friends. People with things in common always have something to talk about. This goes for any hobbies/sports. Like knitting/crochet? find a knitting circle. Like soccer? find an adult soccer team.

Second focus on the positives about going home. Seeing my family, food that I can't find in rural northern Japan, and dating, are the things I am looking forward to. I am going to miss Japan something fierce but I also have many things I am looking forward too.

Lastly realize that, no matter what, you are going to miss the home you leave behind. Keep in touch with your friends there as much as you can, they will help keep you grounded too!

Good luck with the move!!

oh it's a dream of mine to travel in japan!!! I love so much of japanese culture.

I started zazen a little while ago and find it's been helping me adjust to all the massive upheval that I've been dealing with. So, yes, I think that's a very good idea. I've been looking for soto dojos in vancouver, I went on OKCupid and POF to see who's around for dating and it seems to be MUCH easier than dating here (people actually date. the dating ritual here makes me mental as it was one of those things I just don't understand and couldn't adapt to thus most of my partners have been non-english or from oop north) but the one thing that attracts me to people is caustic humour and vancouver people are very polite and nice at first so I feel I have to rumple them up a little bit to get them to relax enough to know that it's ok to piss take.

I am looking forward to seeing some of my old friends and doing things I haven't done in almost 10 years. Some of those points are quite good, so I appreciate that. Keeping myself focused and connected to activities I do where ever I am will help. I am incredibly thankful for skype as I will be able to communicate with people anywhere. I do find it odd that not as many people as I thought use it.

I will also be looking for a writers group and perhaps archery. I would love to get back into horse back riding again. Ideally I'd love to combine archery with horseback!

But I have school starting in Jan and I'm sure between running, zazan, dating, friends and school, I think I won't have much time for much else. I used to play bass, paint, do silver sauder, uni, date and run in my 20's. how I managed to do that I have no idea.

Thankyou LK mapping this out is helping.

PS I always dreamed of living in rural japan for a little bit. I know I know next to nothing about it, but "Satoyama: Japans secret water gardens" is one of my all time favourite docus and would love to live it for a bit.
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1XNxc3CwSM"]Satoyama I Japans Secret Watergarden 720p (Documentary) - YouTube[/nomedia]

[The_Lady_Snow]

For Snow this means:

HB moves to Canada---->HB gets passport-----> HB comes to BFP Reunion = WELCOME TO CANADA!!! I support you!

[Martina]

I know. I too thought HB on the same continent! Even on the same coast. How cool is that?!!!

[Kätzchen]

That's so nice HoneyBarbara that you're coming back home to the Vancouver, BC area and that you at least have your extended network of friends, school, dating and activities to help buffer the tremendous challenges you anticipate during the up and coming transition of relocation. Will you be teaching cultural anthropology?

It sounds to me like you're making all the right moves in preparing for what comes next. I really like your idea of blogging the whole process. Reverse culture shock and reflecting on all the items of change one seems to face in a new enviroment, especially since there's the time span of ten years change or better, seems like a really good way to map your process and be able to have something tangible to work with and maybe even be a bit like a coping tool of sorts.

I am excited for you!

ps/ horseback riding and archery = best time ever!

[Sparkle]

I was in Blighty for 6 years. And now I've been back in the States for nearly 8.

The re-entry was REALLY hard. And there wasn't much to be done about it. The missing was (and sometimes still is) painful. I felt "off" for a couple of years. Everything had changed, especially me. I felt restless and sad and kind of empty the first year. But most of the culture shock itself dissipated within a year.

I still feel overwhelmed by the size of things, sometimes... portions at restaurants, ginormous grocery stores and parking lots and SUVs

Things that helped:

*reconnecting with old friends, renewing and deepening those relationships, helped a lot.

*keeping busy - especially in the first year. I made dinner plans with friends a couple of nights a week and tried to always make plans for the weekends.

*learning to appreciate the quiet and the alone time, this took me a few years, now I wonder how I survived with so little of it before.

*making plans for mini-trips to new places, and to see other "old" friends-- one of the things I've missed the most (aside from my people) was how relatively inexpensive, easy and common traveling is in Europe. Travel/airfare is really expensive here, so I was grateful that I traveled a lot for business because I was able to maintain that feeling of excitement and curiosity about discovering somewhere new.

*I had to tune out politically for awhile (I came back a week before "W" was re-elected in late 2004.) And I can't really stomach the media/news here. I still get most of my news online from the guardian, the independent or bbc.

*Reading books, listening to music, watching shows/films that are British (or that reminded me of my time abroad) was helpful too. Especially when I had a day that I felt really foreign.

North western Britlandian here, volunteering for stand-in Brit Duty should it ever be required

[imperfect_cupcake]

Thank you Sparkle, I tried replying earlier but the net ate my post.

I will take all of those suggestions to head. I really am very glad to see people posting me their experiences cause it really does help.

And Daktari! fantastic. where abouts are you? are you in western canada or the PNW?