The Fat Positive Lounge

Gráinne · 09-28-2012, 11:22 AM

I've had some random thoughts that I think go here

First, I'll be right up front: I hate exercise. If I'm trying to lose weight, reshape something or rearrange my body, it ain't happening.

With that said, I do enjoy movement. Alone at home, I like putting music on and shaking it all over my living room. I like to walk in the evenings. I actually enjoy hard housework and that feeling of accomplishment in my muscles afterwards.

I belong to an inexpensive gym near my home. Last night I thought, "What if you go and do some weight work, but just focus on the feelings in your body?" So I did! I enjoy the little pings in my legs after walking on the treadmills. I like that burn at full extension with a weight, and the release after I return to the start. I like the feel of sweat and stepping outside in the cool air

. I am such a sensualist. Maybe this is the approach I have to take, and hopefully the benefits will come anyway.

Then a little later I was in Wal-Mart, looking for a screwdriver or something totally unsexy. I found myself over in the sleepwear, and went straight to a silky pair of pj pants and a lacy black camisole with flowers all over it. Darn the voices in my head: "That's way too sexy; you're too fat for that". I bought it anyway, wore it last night, and felt like the sex queen of the Universe. But it's hard not looking in the mirror and telling yourself, "Oh well, I'm still fat, not the SQOTU". Why do we do that to ourselves?

On another note, has anyone noticed how women's magazines almost always have clothing articles like "Minimize your ass, make yourself look taller (it would take me standing on stilts to do that), flatten your tummy"? Especially around bathing suit season, and whenever jeans articles come out. I'm all for flattering ourselves and feeling good, but sometimes I think it's worth checking out who were really camoflaging ourselves for.

I had a thought; what if at Reunion next year, say at the Prom, we tried just a little to wear something that called attention to some part that we have condemned ourselves for? For example, if you don't like your calves, wear something with a slit. If you don't like your bust, find something with ruffles or wear a eye-catching locket. You get the idea. So often I think we imagine we're giant walking tummies or calves or whatever, not realizing that everyone else is self-conscious about something, and the very "flaw" we think we have, someone else finds hotter than hell. I will attest to that.

And finally, I LOVE the theme for next year. The pinups of the '30's and 40's were by no means thin by our standards-Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. Betty Grable was not thin, but took the most famous poster of all that time in a bathing suit. How many of us would pose as she did, right now? Jane Russell in a little tied-up shirt, or Rita Hayworth in that nightgown on the bed-erm, okay

.

Makes me wonder why, with all our diets and gyms and fancy workout things, we're so hard on ourselves and actually getting more unhealthy as a country? Those pinups didn't have all that, and all seemed pretty darn happy with their "assets". Interesting that all lived to ripe old age, too. Worth a thought.

<3

Licious · 09-30-2012, 07:19 PM

Hi Everyone!

Well as some of you know, struggling with weight a lot in my life and time required resting for health reasons, I have gotten fairly overweight, yes, I think the word "fat" applies. And when I first came in here, my self-loathing over it was pretty severe.

No, I am not over it all yet, but I am learning to love myself the way I am, not waiting for some mystical day when I may or may not weigh less.

It isn't easy and is foreign to me, in my youth I was more able to get most excess weight off.

I didn't mind it on others actually. Just me. I have dated butches who were heavy and thought they looked great. I have had femme friends who were heavy and I thought they looked sexy. Just me, I didn't like it on myself.

You have all been so wonderful and such a help. I got some new pants and shirts and may even get a dress. I am going to let myself look good now, not wait. Hey thrift store clothes don't cost that much, no reason to delay.

Thanks again, still on my journey.

Blessings to you all!

Tcountry · 10-01-2012, 07:46 PM

YA'll make me smile...even when you don't post a whole lot...I know that every day you are out there being You and being awesome!
I had to work 9 then went back to see the folks then worked again, so haven't posted much, but I try to read every day...I try to stay connected with the positive side of my world all the time.

Just wanted to say hi tonight... & ya'll are great!

Heavenleahangel · 10-01-2012, 08:14 PM

I just found this thread and I am wondering just why I have missed it before! Wow! I must take the time to go back and re-read as many posts as possible.
I, personally, have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to being "overweight" and "average." What ever that means...lol...I used to NEVER let my pant size dictate how I felt about myself. I actually modeled for JustMySize and Fashion Bug before and rawked the runway, Baybee!
Then given the opportunity to adopt a newborn and welcome a son, I stopped being a single, available femme and became "Jacob's Mommy" 24/7. I still watched everything and tried to remain the same size I was year after year.
Things changed when I found out I would have to go through chemo, then rounds of steroids took their toll. Now, I have gained some weight and I guess my pant size aint what it used to be and I am definitely feeling the pressure to lose the extra I gained and try to get back to being as healthy as I used to be. I actually want to be healthier than I ever was! I have a 5 year old now...and he is active...I miss not being able to roll around the floor with him and doing the things I used to.
Thank you all for remaining "fat positive" cuz deep down inside, I know I am still the beautiful blue-eyed-blond I used to be and I will regain *my* positivism again.

SingularNYCFemme · 10-01-2012, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heavenleahangel

I have a 5 year old now...and he is active...I miss not being able to roll around the floor with him and doing the things I used to.
Thank you all for remaining "fat positive" cuz deep down inside, I know I am still the beautiful blue-eyed-blond I used to be and I will regain *my* positivism again.

To that active 5-year-old you are absolutely and completely beautiful exactly the way you are. And to the rest of the world: You are still the beautiful blue-eyed blonde you used to be. There's some more of you to love; and a stronger, more awesome you having survived all you have.

Soft*Silver · 10-02-2012, 09:56 AM

I now have three teens volunteering in my store. One has Aspbergers. One is a teen mom from a rape. And one is an extremely overweight gal. (All are very open about themselves and what I just expressed so not disclosing anything they dont openly state themselves.) I have become a magnet for such kids. I have a waiting list of kids who want to volunteer. So, my plans of opening a teen store have been pushed forward.

All these kids know what its like to be singled out and hated. called names. bullied. two are now homeschooled because of all of that.

Just like Pretty & Plus is just a front for my real business, which is helping and supporting people and helping them become happy about themselves, the teen store will have the same mission.

Everything will be under ten dollars so that all teens can afford something.

To work in the store, they will have to work in P&P first, to get the skills under my tutelage and then get promoted to work in the teen store.

There will be a steering committee of teens who will develop the store.

And the profits will all go to the non profit I support and helped start, the Diva Donations, which loans out homecoming and prom dresses to kids who cant afford to go to proms. They also have a few suits and tuxes too for the teens who wont wear dresses. Call that cool??

I never expected this but its been handed to me by the deity I worship and I have embraced it...

Rockinonahigh · 10-02-2012, 10:26 AM

Miss.Tia Let me say that I am very proud of what you are doing,the benefits of your store are many and so possitive for all who come in contact with you.I do wish we had something like it hear in my town as it is very needed in many plaeces.Congratulations on you successes now and in the furture..Happy autum.

09-28-2012, 11:22 AM	#1
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,866 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,119 Thanked 7,391 Times in 1,459 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've had some random thoughts that I think go here First, I'll be right up front: I hate exercise. If I'm trying to lose weight, reshape something or rearrange my body, it ain't happening. With that said, I do enjoy movement. Alone at home, I like putting music on and shaking it all over my living room. I like to walk in the evenings. I actually enjoy hard housework and that feeling of accomplishment in my muscles afterwards. I belong to an inexpensive gym near my home. Last night I thought, "What if you go and do some weight work, but just focus on the feelings in your body?" So I did! I enjoy the little pings in my legs after walking on the treadmills. I like that burn at full extension with a weight, and the release after I return to the start. I like the feel of sweat and stepping outside in the cool air . I am such a sensualist. Maybe this is the approach I have to take, and hopefully the benefits will come anyway. Then a little later I was in Wal-Mart, looking for a screwdriver or something totally unsexy. I found myself over in the sleepwear, and went straight to a silky pair of pj pants and a lacy black camisole with flowers all over it. Darn the voices in my head: "That's way too sexy; you're too fat for that". I bought it anyway, wore it last night, and felt like the sex queen of the Universe. But it's hard not looking in the mirror and telling yourself, "Oh well, I'm still fat, not the SQOTU". Why do we do that to ourselves? On another note, has anyone noticed how women's magazines almost always have clothing articles like "Minimize your ass, make yourself look taller (it would take me standing on stilts to do that), flatten your tummy"? Especially around bathing suit season, and whenever jeans articles come out. I'm all for flattering ourselves and feeling good, but sometimes I think it's worth checking out who were really camoflaging ourselves for. I had a thought; what if at Reunion next year, say at the Prom, we tried just a little to wear something that called attention to some part that we have condemned ourselves for? For example, if you don't like your calves, wear something with a slit. If you don't like your bust, find something with ruffles or wear a eye-catching locket. You get the idea. So often I think we imagine we're giant walking tummies or calves or whatever, not realizing that everyone else is self-conscious about something, and the very "flaw" we think we have, someone else finds hotter than hell. I will attest to that. And finally, I LOVE the theme for next year. The pinups of the '30's and 40's were by no means thin by our standards-Marilyn Monroe was a size 16. Betty Grable was not thin, but took the most famous poster of all that time in a bathing suit. How many of us would pose as she did, right now? Jane Russell in a little tied-up shirt, or Rita Hayworth in that nightgown on the bed-erm, okay . Makes me wonder why, with all our diets and gyms and fancy workout things, we're so hard on ourselves and actually getting more unhealthy as a country? Those pinups didn't have all that, and all seemed pretty darn happy with their "assets". Interesting that all lived to ripe old age, too. Worth a thought. <3 __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

09-30-2012, 07:19 PM	#2
Licious Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: California Posts: 686 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,502 Thanked 1,971 Times in 546 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hi Everyone! Well as some of you know, struggling with weight a lot in my life and time required resting for health reasons, I have gotten fairly overweight, yes, I think the word "fat" applies. And when I first came in here, my self-loathing over it was pretty severe. No, I am not over it all yet, but I am learning to love myself the way I am, not waiting for some mystical day when I may or may not weigh less. It isn't easy and is foreign to me, in my youth I was more able to get most excess weight off. I didn't mind it on others actually. Just me. I have dated butches who were heavy and thought they looked great. I have had femme friends who were heavy and I thought they looked sexy. Just me, I didn't like it on myself. You have all been so wonderful and such a help. I got some new pants and shirts and may even get a dress. I am going to let myself look good now, not wait. Hey thrift store clothes don't cost that much, no reason to delay. Thanks again, still on my journey. Blessings to you all! __________________ Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth. ~Rumi

10-01-2012, 07:46 PM	#3
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	YA'll make me smile...even when you don't post a whole lot...I know that every day you are out there being You and being awesome! I had to work 9 then went back to see the folks then worked again, so haven't posted much, but I try to read every day...I try to stay connected with the positive side of my world all the time. Just wanted to say hi tonight... & ya'll are great! __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

10-01-2012, 08:14 PM	#4
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,068 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675554	I just found this thread and I am wondering just why I have missed it before! Wow! I must take the time to go back and re-read as many posts as possible. I, personally, have been on both sides of the fence when it comes to being "overweight" and "average." What ever that means...lol...I used to NEVER let my pant size dictate how I felt about myself. I actually modeled for JustMySize and Fashion Bug before and rawked the runway, Baybee! Then given the opportunity to adopt a newborn and welcome a son, I stopped being a single, available femme and became "Jacob's Mommy" 24/7. I still watched everything and tried to remain the same size I was year after year. Things changed when I found out I would have to go through chemo, then rounds of steroids took their toll. Now, I have gained some weight and I guess my pant size aint what it used to be and I am definitely feeling the pressure to lose the extra I gained and try to get back to being as healthy as I used to be. I actually want to be healthier than I ever was! I have a 5 year old now...and he is active...I miss not being able to roll around the floor with him and doing the things I used to. Thank you all for remaining "fat positive" cuz deep down inside, I know I am still the beautiful blue-eyed-blond I used to be and I will regain my positivism again. __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

10-02-2012, 09:56 AM	#6
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,594 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,896 Times in 4,064 Posts Rep Power*: 21474858	I now have three teens volunteering in my store. One has Aspbergers. One is a teen mom from a rape. And one is an extremely overweight gal. (All are very open about themselves and what I just expressed so not disclosing anything they dont openly state themselves.) I have become a magnet for such kids. I have a waiting list of kids who want to volunteer. So, my plans of opening a teen store have been pushed forward. All these kids know what its like to be singled out and hated. called names. bullied. two are now homeschooled because of all of that. Just like Pretty & Plus is just a front for my real business, which is helping and supporting people and helping them become happy about themselves, the teen store will have the same mission. Everything will be under ten dollars so that all teens can afford something. To work in the store, they will have to work in P&P first, to get the skills under my tutelage and then get promoted to work in the teen store. There will be a steering committee of teens who will develop the store. And the profits will all go to the non profit I support and helped start, the Diva Donations, which loans out homecoming and prom dresses to kids who cant afford to go to proms. They also have a few suits and tuxes too for the teens who wont wear dresses. Call that cool?? I never expected this but its been handed to me by the deity I worship and I have embraced it... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

10-02-2012, 10:26 AM	#7
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Miss.Tia Let me say that I am very proud of what you are doing,the benefits of your store are many and so possitive for all who come in contact with you.I do wish we had something like it hear in my town as it is very needed in many plaeces.Congratulations on you successes now and in the furture..Happy autum.